Am I any good ?

What does it really take to be a writer? For as long as I can remember I have dwelled in the conception that I have been good at what I think I am good at. For instance lets say Writing. I have had this idea of myself being an ambitious and prolific writer. But the reality sucks, I know. But who could deny a good imagination. So, I have been advertising everywhere about the awesomeness of my blog and literally forcing people to read my blog through reverse psychology. Turns out, I am not even good at the reverse-whatever it is. Because no one actually buys that and my visitor count is still null, like a big void. But I still continue to advertise my blog and attract people. Only that I don't have that 70% + 40% advertising strategy. Still, the social media is a great help there. If only.

As a result of my wayward publicity a majority of the people I know and people who know me are aware of my blogging hobby. Because well that is the second thing I tell about myself after my name in my introduction. Seriously, I do that. But the point is that a majority of the people are aware of my "extra-curricular" activities, but chose to turn a blind eye to it. Why, you ask? Firstly, I am a no good of a writer even though in my publicity brochure I am the "greatest" of 'em all. But lets just do a reality check and yeah that's not a pretty good picture. And secondly, they seem to have developed a sort of what we can call it - hatred? dislike? or something like that when it comes to reading. And thirdly, my English is, quoting what they usually say, "too hi-fi to understand". *ahem ahem* *starts coughing inconsistently*, the latter wasn't intentional, the former was. My English is too complex to understand. I mean I refer to the dictionary most of the times for looking up the meaning for words that even a fifth standard normal kid would also know and then there is this remark. I actually feel elated, you know. Because at the back of my head, I am having this conception that I am improving myself and have come a long way. But again, reality check. I have barely moved from wherever I had started from. Yeah, I know it is difficult to believe, but that is why reality is so mean.

The other day there was this team building activity of sorts in the office. We were divided into 4 groups by each one of us calling out the numbers from 1 to 4. I was supposed to be a team 3 but that already had so many people that I chose to be team 2, and also there were people whom I knew in this team. So the task was to advertise a new soft drink brand in the market. The first thing that we had to do was to come up with a caption for the soft drink. So, we were hitting out heads for a funny and attractive caption to go with the soft drink brand. And then there were two people who know about my should I dare quote "blogging adventures", that I call myself a damn good writer. Well, that was my publicity strategy that I had adopted even though we all know where I stand. But don't worry, I was exactly the same, I mean where I had been standing all along. "Hey, you are a blogger. Tell something nice, something catchy". With an awkward smile I try to think harder and find something totally cool and attractive. But time was not on our side. "You write so much, come on suggest something blogger". The time was up and I was still blank in my mind as did my face. Now that is the real me. And that's how I blog. The other people were more creative and pretty good at it. I kept wondering what about all my imagination and the countless crazy thoughts that I get on a daily basis almost every single day. 

That game wasn't over yet. Now that the captioning was over, we had to advertise it in the market, with the help of few newspapers that were supplied to us. We could do whatever we wanted with the paper, cut it, crop it , whatever, but we had to advertise it for the customer. And then again the remarks kept coming about I being a blogger and the creative inputs that I could give to make the presentation a little better. But you see, I was so blank in my mind that I could put the black hole to shame, literally. I was trying to help but then again, my creativity wasn't on my side, I mean if I had creativity in the first place to begin with. 

And then it hit me. Am I really creative? Am I even good at writing? Is my imagination that renders into these posts/write-ups are worth reading? Am I even good at this? Or is it all just my blank misconception of something good but really there isn't anything close to it? Could I be called a blogger? Can I call myself creative? Can I suggest my blog to other people to read? 

I guess this is the task of the dear readers to tell. So, the ball is in your court. Please be fair when you decide how good of a writer I am. I totally agree that I am an amateur in so Manu ways. And so is the reason for the comments on whatsoever you feel about my writing and in what ways I would be able to improve it. Everything you say is welcomed. So, be as bad as you could be when judging. That's all I could say.