A Joke! #Z2AChallenge

A Joke, not really!
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"I joked for 45 days. If that doesn't prove that I am a great comedian, nothing else will".

- ak

I was busy staring at her trying my best to keep a straight face and still admire her and not slip into some day dreams. It was the English class and the class was sort of silently reading a book, probably the next chapter in the textbook and be prepared for any surprise questions that might come our way. We, as usual were fooling around and passing chits with jokes or comments, which basically read as 'If you read this you are stupid'. So here's the deal : Passing chits was sort of cool. We didn't have SMS to text the guy in the first row while we were in the last or middle row. So we came up with the idea of conveying "important" messages over chits folded so that the people on the way cannot read it. But the people in between passing were getting curious what these guys were talking so back and forth. They would just peak in to look what on earth is so important. And they do. Because curiosity is what didn't it actually killed the cat. Anyhow they come to face with a realization that the guys made this person stupid, literally. "If you are reading this, you are stupid". Oh boy, that burned. Some take it casually and while others shout "Ma'am", proving what we said the right thing about it.

So, we were in the process of trolling people while I silently stole some glimpses of the big time crush. Oh boy, the heart raced whenever I talked to her. But all this daydreams and fooling around came to an abrupt halt when the teacher shouted my name out loud. I was in deep shit, and I know it.

The Summer vacation ( also known as spring break) passed by like one month ago. Usually the vacation assignments are supposed to be submitted just after returning from the vacation. But our English teacher kind of went on with the usual curriculum and after nearly a month, she shouted Assignments. To our amazement, we realised that we had to do an assignment during out vacation. It wasn't so hard actually. The task was to write a diary entry for the nearly over a month vacation. "Bring it on Monday", she said which lifted our spirits a bit. Because if she had told to bring it the next day itself, we would have died. The whole weekend, we wrote the 45 day vacations. I had forgotten most of it. The reason would be that all those 45 days felt like a day. So, I did exactly that. The same routine I copied and write for the while duration of the vacation, cleverly skipping some days and adding something I didn't even do during the vacation. 

"AJAY!" *with and agitated look* (I was already scared what I did wrong. I mean I did write the whole diary of 45 days just in 3 days. I might have made some terrible mistakes. The worst being it was the same thing for 45 pages) ( Now you might be thinking that I'm a blogger, so writing that diary wouldn't be that difficult of a task and it could easily be termed as a piece of cake. I will just go ahead a throw water all over your opinion by saying I was a blogger then. I was the last person you would want to talk to in English or write. Not that I have improved w bit over the years. But don't you start judging).  I was shit scared already and the whole class of 38 people were staring at me. "What's the spelling of jogging?"

I used to think I was good at spelling the  English words. How hard could it it be, right? Just break the word down by the syllable and spell it. For example alphabet : al-pha-bet. Lets take another example, joking : jo-king. So, apparently I went for joking for 45 days during my summer vacation, every morning. I started off with one lap of joking and gradually increased to 3 laps of joking. It used to tire me a lot, but still it was for fitness and I started enjoying it. Okay, may be I was stretching it a bit too much, but that was the gist.

I spelled the word "jogging" for my English teacher, the exact same way in the example above. As you might have guessed, I did a terrible mistake. I pronounced the word jogging so wrongly, it made her furious. So she asks the girl between me and her to spell it and give a tight one to me. She spells it correctly, of course and being a little hesitant to give that tight one, she gives a slow one. 

"I didn't quite hear it", says the English teacher. So the girl gives me another one, a bit more harder. I was glad I didn't have any beef with this girl. Or else she would have completely enjoyed it twice. I was already numb when I heard my name resonate in the classroom earlier. I didn't even feel a thing, not the first time, neither the second time. I am tough that way. Not only did I spell the word wrong, it was sort of quite embarrassing, that too in from of my crush(es).

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#Z2AChallenge,

because I can spell the alphabets in reverse.

#Joke #Jog #School #RealTalk

#AlphabetM #LetterM #Day14 ( Day 16)

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This is written under the series "Real Talk" wherein I finally talk about my real life and share some (not so) scandalous short (and sweet!) stories. To follow from the start click on the "Real Talk" label below for all posts in this series. The initiative is first started by IQ, who blogs at "Supercalifragilisticsexyalidocious". Do check out this blog, for some more awesomeness.

Summer Thirst.

1. I was the hamster running in an microwave oven. Or so did I feel. The summer is pretty lame these days and is firing up every moment. It was a shiny, bright afternoon and I was all set on my bike. If I had corn in my pocket, I would have enjoyed some popcorn while I drove to my exam center. I was sweating and my shirt was fully drenched in water. I was totally dehydrated for one thing and then I had an exam. I didn't know the exam center, so I was on road pretty early in search of the same. But I must say one thing, Google Maps doesn't help all the times. And this was the third time I got fooled upon believing GM. 

2. I was with my helmet on to protect myself obviously. So, I reach the place which was showed in GM, only to find it wasn't the right place to start to look for. It was still some miles away. So, I keep away my helmet in a bit of frustration and I'm back on my hunt. The dusty wind was blowing like some super hot air cyclone. Already the humid climate made my face all sweaty and oily and to add to that now dust. I travel for another 5 kilometers or so and the location is still now close to me. So, I get some help and leave my bike there and proceed to the exam center on a local transportation. I reach the center 2 hours ahead. Don't call me punctual ( just too much , aint I?).

3. It was a school. And it was empty due to the summer vacation. I was feeling like total cr*p. And that humid climate and hot sun just made my day. I was wondering what I would do for the next two hours. I take out my handkerchief from my pocket to swipe the little annoying sweat dripping from all over my face. It was a plain white one which changed to all dusty with one swipe. For a moment, I thought it must have fallen down in the dust and I didn't know. But it didn't fall. Then I realize it is from my face which was due to the dusty storm which I mentioned earlier. 

4. I sat there thirsty. Waiting for someone to show up so that I could get saved from being totally dehydrated and die at that moment. But there was utter silence except the zooming cars, trucks, bikes and all sorts of vehicles. I sat there thinking, taking a nap and looking here and there. I could do nothing else except that. So, while I was in the think-process a question struck me which my aunt asked the previous day. "In which language do you think?" People here aren't so fluent in English. She said that the Priest at the Church usually speaks the native language and also in English for the English mass. He is't that fluent in English so one of the people advised him to think also in English and in the time being he can pick up fluent English. When she asked me, I didn't know the answer at that moment. I forgot that I was thinking in my mind about what language I speak but unaware of that simple fact. I thought harder and replied that I will answer her back when I think next time. I know,  I sound weird. So, there at the exam center I remembered about the question and what was I thinking? I was thinking about what to write today after the exam was over. I was getting pretty good thoughts and fantastic word formation which rhymed and sounded good at that time. Now, I am banging my head to recollect what were those words. Well, thats' an other story. So, the answer - I think in English. Now, next question in my mind. "In which language do I dream?" Let me check tonight and get back with an answer. 

5. No water. Full thirsty. Lost in thoughts. Snail walking Time. Humid and bloody hot climate. Never ending sweat. Oily face. Weird hair style (seriously, totally messed up with all the dust and the sweat). Strange people- strange language. Building under renovation. Mens' toilet closed. Someones' parents looking for the room number in every nook and corner. Birds chirping. Birds shitting. Me aimlessly looking at others. *Opens phone- Slides to unlock - No messages - No emails - Still opens the read messages - Pretend to read it for the first time - locks the phone - unlocks the phone - locks it again - plays with the phone (rotate on a single finger) - phone falls down - silently keep it inside*, *Looks around - some people like me arrive - Clean my sweaty face* , * Check my hairstyle - Adjust it a little bit* , *Takes a little nap* *Repeat from the beginning after ten minutes* . 

6. Times up. The exam begins. I was already feeling very wasted and I need a real cold bath at that moment. I am not sure what I am gonna write. I don't feel like writing. The sun had dehydrated me. Took away the little energy in me. And I feel like total c*ap. The mood inside me is not pleasant. Exam starts. The invigilator murders the ENGLISH language. I wasn't in a mood to laugh or correct him either. Still feeling thirsty, no one knows where the effing water is. I make up my mind - Survive for 3 more hours and then you can have all the water in the world. A bottle of water arrives. Alas! At last, I shout in joy in my mind. *Let me finish this question*, then I'll swallow the whole bottle, may be. It takes time, but I complete. Where the hell is the bottle? I see an empty bottle on the other side of the room. BIG EFF. Damn you people, don't want me to live till the exam finishes. Times' on a run as if some apocalypse broke out. I complete the exam half an hour before. But I have a policy not to leave the examination hall before the time ends. I finally control my thirst. Or may be not, just forgot for the moment, or don't know - I just sat idle. There are negative marks for every wrong answer and I had made pretty wild guesses already. So, I had to stop. Then it struck me. I survived. I need to get out this. I hand to the English-killer-invigilator the answer sheet and also the question paper. I get out. 

7. At the shop, after about half a kilometer, I buy a drink. I pay him. He puts the money in the cash box, that bottle is empty. He looked startled. He looked down just to check whether I spilled the whole drink out on the ground. I get to my senses now. I feel a little re-freshened. I drive back to home as fast as I can. I thought I was giving the most acceleration as I did, but I wasn't moving a bit, not literally. It felt like a life time to reach home - my aunts' home. I saw them go for shopping with my little cousin, while her mother in law was at home. When I reached, she complains about my aunt. I was like "What the hell?". I ignore what she had to say. I give a fake smile and and 'Oh!' exclamation and escape that moment. God, I hate talks behind the backs! and mostly women-ish talks, I just hate.

8. I drank approximately 2 liters of water in a span of 15 minutes. I am quite sure, much more water was dehydrated from me. Ah! That felt good. By the way, no more cold more was left. :( . I sit down while my cousin comes back home and turns on the TV just to watch another not-so-good-animated-cartoon. I mean look at the characters. Their face is totally deformed and I don't understand why is their chin displaced to the right from the upper part of the face. Don't imagine. Not quite a good thought. While the cartoon character create and solve the problems themselves, he just enjoys it while I don't-know-what-to-do. I needed a bath. Just then, I was to go for a cold shower so I close my laptop and stand up. Whoosh! The powers' gone. I wonder what generators are for. While they have been under repair for over a year, we are soaking in our own sweat. An inverter could do the job of powering a fan and a light on a small scale though but we won't be bathing in our own sweat. After 3 hours of cursing and fanning ourselves manually, the power was back just to save us from the end-of-the-world. 

9. So far for today. Numbered-incidents. Thought of writing it differently. I mean I actually had some pretty good thoughts while I was sitting idle in the school(exam center) while I was in the worst mood and shabby avatar as well. So, Now this should end. I don't like ending on odd numbers. I like even numbers. So, another one..

10. POD {Photo Of the Day} :

P.S. : No post script in mind. I already told too much today. =P ! 

Afternoon in the City.

It all drained down the lane. My energy expired the moment I stepped out. There was a strong humid atmosphere and hot winds which blew me away, not in a good sense. In a matter of seconds there was a feeling of uneasiness in me. There was a wide disparity between the mornings and the afternoons. I can live the mornings but afternoons are like hell-traps. You walk out and there is this feeling which just drains your little energy. 

Along with the severe climate, there is something more intriguing. The Power Cuts. I get busy no matter what I do online. May be it is writing blog or browsing or watching some tv series. Suddenly there is this power cut at the peak hour of the day. The blog post doesn't get saved while I'm busy writing like a professional. All when I check again, the post is stopped at the point when the power went off. Not cool, I tend to have a short-term-memory loss and sometimes long-term also. So, I can not recollect what I wrote some two hours ago. Sucks, right? I know. The whole context changes and I end up in an total different world of the topic which isn't related in a minimum sense to the topic.

So, I went out to post something. I had to take a print out and post it in Speed Post. So, I get the print out and then I find out that it needs something more. And the worst part is I saw that at the Post office before I wanted to post it completely. So I had to get back, take another print out and complete the necessary things. So the person at the Post Office tells that that Speed Post will be closed at 1400 hours and I was there at 1415 hours the second time. So, in no time I write a 250 word story about "Purpose of Joining (*the college's name*)". I totally mess up the content because I am the worst under pressure. Not that I didn't know about this earlier; just saying. After all the mess up, he is kind enough to take mine as well. Thank God, he took it. Else I'd have been literally killed by my dad. 

While in this process, my hair went from a sexy hair-duo to sluggish. The key factors being the dusty wind, humidity and all other weather factors. Also the dusty wind made it much more difficult to travel on a bike. To add to it, the super hot sun which was just burning bright and red and imparting maximum heat it can. Thanks to the cover of trees else I would have been burnt to coal. Seriously! If the temperature rises even further, I don't know in how many years Summers would be declared stay-at-home month.

So far. 

Summer Afternoon are not my kind of thing.