Engage.

#1 Engaging with strangers

What happens when you talk a lot? In most cases, you end up talking a lot, because it's in the genes and not a day goes by without talking! But what happens when you don't a lot, or don't talk at all? You end up not talking at all and there is no much difference to the day if you haven't talked to somebody.

"You don't talk much, do you?", said a guy who spent a couple of days with me and in his retrospect, he made me his friend, the first day itself. That was an interesting conversation.

"Hi, I am Jackson"

"Hey, I am AK, nice to meet you"

*After exchanging niceties and work stuff*

"Has anybody talked to you like I did? No, right?"

*confused, I replied* "I guess No".

"See, you are feeling comfortable talking with me. And we have become friends already! Don't you agree?"

*wait, what just happened?* "Oh yes! We are friends."

Being said that he never invited me to anything when he went out on weekends. I did drop in a few ideas, since we both we new to the city, he chose his "friends" (aka colleagues) over me. Well, he was a good friend, is he not? Because he was the one very concerned about me as I talked so less that it scared him. But in three weeks, not even once he did invite, but always placed his piece of mind what I should do on the table.

_____________

What happens when two introverts meet?

There is complete awkward silence.

Or

You become that push that breaks their threshold barrier.

Apparently, I was that push to this new found friend. In the previous bloggers meet, I came across this guy who like me was waiting and we were standing just beside each other. Well, he started the conversation with an introduction. I was busy charging my phone till that moment. But then after a couple of exchanges, you get to know what kind of a person they are. He spoke so openly and about everything he had in mind, about everything he wanted to talk about. No barriers that we,introverts have, that I have. 

#2 Engaging with crush

None of the million crushes I had wanted to talk let alone get a cup of coffee. I mean its' their loss., right? *sobs silently*

#3 Engaging with people I know from Twitter

Drowning in the company of myself while everybody else were socializing, I was swarmed by a couple of Twitteratis, people who have come to know me from the Twitter engagement. I was kind of mind blown when they were searching for me, and someone wanted to meet me, ME, ME, MEEE ( wait, are they serious? )

"Are you like shy?", Purba Ray asked.

*not being prepared for this question I immediately replied without much thought* "Kind of yes".

"Oh god, you speak so soft!", was her reply.

Besides, everyone who has interacted with me on twitter and then in real have had a hard time adjusting to the silent treatment that I had been pulling. No, it is not by choice. It is how I am wired. It takes certain time to be as open as others and then I pull their legs. No, no actual talk, whatsoever.

#4 Engaging with friends

I have forgotten how this used to go. I used to have friends. But then times changes and people went apart leaving me at the epicenter. Apparently, everyone I meet now already has a circle of friends and I think they love it keep it that way. Well, no complaints there. Have fun, acquaintances. 

The reality takes a hard blow to settle in. But it is a constant reminder of what we have and what we do not. If you have observed ( which you haven't. Whom am I kidding, right? ) I have been tweeting and ranting a lot of Facebook posts, revolving around #ForeverAlone. This is a reality, not something I just say for the sake of saying. Well, I make fun of it, all the time. People make fun of it, in return. All is fair as long as no one gets hurt. 

So why are you alone?

You find ppl around u... Immature and not up to your mark?

This revelation from a friend shocked me when he asked me over the Facebook chat. "It's not about the meeting the expectation or not upto mark, its about talking, its about understanding, its about being there!", I replied politely.

Besides this, I guess the engagement is pretty much low with friends ( that I once had ).

Rules of Engagement

1. The first rule of engagement is talk.

2. The second rule of engagement is talk.

... that's pretty much it. Everything else just falls in place if those two rules are followed.

______________

If you have survived till here, you are great. Thanks for engaging. 

Here is something that people had to tell about me about a couple of years ago :

The Other's Perspective.

Can I confess?

Can I confess, asked the mind contemplating the thoughts that evade reality. The words felt heavy, the screams louder, but there was silence all along. Why do the words evade this reality? Why is it so afraid of the light of the day? Why do they find comfort in the privy of the night, lurking in the shadows, screaming yet silent? Why not let the heart ease its pain, by letting go? The turmoil and the vigor that they hold settling in the mind with a spectacular view of the life that goes by. Life, ah paradigm of reality.

A dilemma surrounded the epiphany. And when asked about things that matter : Confusion. Fear. Ego. Desertion. "The weather is nice today, isn't it?" Evasion. Why? The insecurities haunt the monotony of revelation. The aftermath seems catastrophic, a word of which is like a domino in precise perfect position that could snowball down the slope, never to be recovered. Let go of things, they said. That is when the diary saw the fluorescent light of the night, warming up the pages with tears that hugged the words dearly, a solace in disguise, freedom to the caged bird. But let me take a shot : Love and Life !

Love ? You asked me a thousand times; I just evaded the answer. What is love but a coalition of two minds, two hearts beating in unison. No, I have never loved. I have never wanted to love. I kept that part of the heart blocked away, hidden so deep that I have lost it altogether. "So, whom do you love?" Your question resonated in my mind. "No one," I said. "I haven't found the right one," I said. You thought I lied. But, I did tell the truth. For love was something so far away for me, I never contemplated its presence around me. To be fair, I never deserved the love to love. I kept my promise to self.

"What do you want to do ? Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" A question that haunted a few nights. You might have heard something climbing up the ladder, this place, that place. I had articulated a well rehearsed story, however different to each person. I lied. In my constant contemplations and searching for the answer, I have crossed a few five years and the result was not what I had expected. What did I expect? If I could articulate it in a word: nothing. If I could say it in an essay, it is still nothing. But if you insist, all I see is a limbo of darkness, a paradoxical emptiness, an abyss breathless.

_______________

This is written for #BlogChatter Prompt of the Week : Can I confess?

PS : Can I confess? I guess, I can't.

PPS: Thanks to IQ for editing and a brilliant comment. Forever in debt! :)

Breaking Fast.

Knock Knock. 
Anyone there ?

# 1

Where did the author go?

I have wondered the same for quite some time. What happened to writing and what happened to the whole write a story sequence? What happened to poetry and what happened to publishing a novel? What happened to  amaze the shit out of people and leave them in thought, deep ones? What happened to starting controversies and be at the middle of it? Or. What happened to that guy who talked and talked, umm correction, wrote and wrote, about the things he wanted to do and couldn't do? What happened to making people bore their senses out and yet look for the compliments? What happened?  I never knew being in love would keep one so busy and occupied. I never knew that having a girlfriend would be so distracting, distracting from the whole writing drama. I had thought that it would bring out the poet in me, or a writer in me, or may be the creative side in me. May be it takes time. Perhaps, tomorrow you will read a different me. Or. May be I was just lying about the whole thing, the later part of the opening paragraph. Of course I was. 

Nice people.

He said he had never seen any nice people in the city while I listened to him as he drove me to my place from the airport. I asked him how he came to settle here. His wife worked in the city, he said. He talked nice, buttered with words and sugar coated honey. He took the wrong turn while he inquired about the competition he might be having from a city too far away, perhaps it was an analogy to reassure himself that he is in a better state and that he is getting the same kind of money had it been a different city. Or perhaps it was just small talk. Though, I did ask him what made him how he felt about the city as he was a year old into the city. That was when he said that there weren't enough nice people. By nice, he meant honest people. He left me with a question when he ripped open my purse emptying it. The question being "Was he a nice person?"

Plate Full.

I had made a few plans of my own. But then someone else joined in the plans. Oh no, not just joined, barged in and walked all over it. Being the overly gentle person that I was, which I don't believe but still, I welcomed them and let them mess up with their dirty shoes. Time chimed and whisked faster than the blink of an eye. The unexpected guest took the initiative as if he knew how things worked. Zipper zapper. Honks and paralyzed air. This bull and that cow. Just in time for the flight and a very rich cabbie. Yes, something went wrong. I wasn't thinking clearly. The unexpected fool(the other F word appended with an er) was well, doing justice to his name while cabbie was playing the best trick he possibly could. I could care less. Actually, I do care and I should have, had it been any other day. I just had a lot on my plate and that plate was not looking so good. 

Double Date.

The smell of coffee pulled me towards it. It did every single time I walked past it. The coffee machine. Your choice. All you need is a coffee cup. I retired that day sipping coffee from the coffee shop I found on my way back. And it got me thinking. Everyday spending for coffee doesn't seem ideal when I could get the same for free. So, the next day ( a week later) I buy a coffee cup. Fancy. Magic cup, they said. Cold one color, hot one color. Day 4. Someone steals it. Prank, I reassured myself. But I didn't know anyone. Then, I tried to search, but I being new here wasn't the best way to embarrass myself. I conclude that some MF might have took it while I made some angry remarks at the stranger and then at God. (Why God? Oh, you have in for a treat. But that depends on how this turns out to be). Two days later and after searching for a few shops, I finally take the same cup. It is as if nothing really happened, like no one even stole my cup. I don't know why I did that. I really don't. But then again, when have I thought clearly.

______________________________

This is just the beginning. But then again, it could be the end. The verdict is in your hands now. 

An Odd Story!

Once upon a time called today, somewhere in the kingdom called The Silicon Valley, there lived a normal guy who was visibly seen but still was invisible. He wanted to keep that thing about himself the same way for all his life. But what he didn't know was that there was a lot stacked up for him. So, one fine day as he was totally clueless about what he wanted to do and no work at hand, he jumped right at the first opportunity that presented itself before him. The opportunity wasn't the best one, neither it was anywhere near good. But his idle mind was getting frustrated about being waiting for something amazing to present itself. But he knew that there was no chance in hell that there would be something amazing waiting just for him. And the work he did, he didn't know a thing. So, whatever it was, he was planning to pass some time, learning something new because what the new work was not his expertise whatsoever. 

That fine day he witnessed a junta of enthusiastic people joining the same with a confused look on their face. Almost all the people who were roped in were new to the work and they had major plans for their future. And this new thing wasn't anywhere in the path of their major plans. The following day a majority of the people came to join the work. And mind you, everyone was confused about it. But at the end of the day, everybody was feeling safe and were ready to join. And so did he thought. Lets call this guy Aman. 

The work they were roped in was scheduled to begin right away, but with a primary training for a week or two. It was early morning and only a handful of people turned up. Among them Aman was the only guy so far. A few hours passed and these guys still waited for people to turn up. But only a few handful others turned up. By the end of the the morning, there were twelve people and Aman was still the only guy. Aman was having a very bad feeling about this. But he had no idea what to do. He wanted to just leave and tell some lame excuse. But he just had no clue about how to open the exit door when he had just opened the Entry door. By the end of the day, he was roped in and he became a part of the small team. And this day changed a little bit about himself that he wanted to keep on the dark. Being the only guy in the group of ten girls wasn't a great deal. Yeah sure the people were amazing, but still. And now, Aman was in the limelight. Only if he had the charms or the looks, he would have rocked it. Only if.

The first of the comment that Aman received was something like this : "You must be happy. You are surrounded by pretty girls. Right Aman?" He was actually shocked by the comment, but he replied,"No" and that reply was for the him being happy part. But before he could say anything,"So, you don't think we all are pretty. One day all these people will bash you up."  He let out an awkward smile and tried not to maintain eye contact. Another person after looking at the group made a comment like, "Oh, you are the only guy in the group. Are you okay and comfortable?" He had no idea what to reply and he smiled and said, "Yeah, I am". But he wasn't sure what he was thinking at that time.

"You know what is the specialty of this group is? There is only one guy surrounded by pretty girls. Look he is blushing.", so says one of the instructor who is a big fan of him, not exactly. 

_____________________________

"So, what about you Aman? Are you committed? You can't be Single, for all we know."

*Tries to tell that he is still single* , but the voice fades and is completely inaudible.

"I know guys like you, who are silent  but they are exactly the opposite in social life."

"I am Single only." (He had no idea how to put the words. He never had to explain himself why he was single or as a matter of fact no one asked his status. No one actually cares/d. But he doesn't think they believed him when he says that he is Single! "Oh my, WHY ?", Aman exclaimed. He thought, no, he knew he is not one of those types who would be in anyone's prince charming list. In his mind, he concluded, "Ah, whom am I kidding? Prince ? Charming ? Yeah right, in my dreams may be."

_____________________________

"So what should we do know? Okay, lets make the late-comer do something. Suggest something guys!". After discussing about this and that, the late comer volunteers to do a chicken dance. Ah, great initiative. But chicken dance? Aman thought whether she was for real. So, for that a chicken dance song is required and it wasn't available on the mobile. So, they try to download. But it was taking time, a little longer than anyone had anticipated.

"So, what shall we do now?", the instructor on being bored asked for the second time.

"Aman will sing a song", someone from the crowd shouted. Aman was kind of bored and half asleep when he heard that. And then he felt like he was thrown in a cold water and it hit him with a question "WHAT????". He thought in his mind, "Me? Singing? Does anyone have a death wish or what? But I don't know any songs."

"No, Aman tell something in 5 lines. It has been like 5 days since you joined here, so a line for each day".

Aman was so dumbstruck that he had no idea as of what to say. So, he said what he says all the time, I mean shout all the time.

"I am Aman , as all of you know!". Yeah, everybody knows. I don't like that. I don't want to be the guy with too much recognition. No, it will not be of any good for me. On the contrary, I become a victim to their entertainment, but if I was entertaining them it would have been a great deal, but I end up being a stupid. So yeah, recognition my ... And then he snapped from his temporary lapse of this conversation with self.

"I like blogging and photography is my hobby".

"What do you write about?"

Though he didn't see any of the other faces except the one asking the questions, he knew that no body was interested in listening to what he had to say about blogging or what he writes about! But he replied anyway. "I write poems, fictions and daily stuff. And I have a Facebook page for each of my blog." 

"I have a photography blog also. I have a Facebook page for that as well." Yes Sir/Madam, he was publicizing. And then there is a comment from a guy. "We will like you page today." And Aman let out a smile. 

"So, we are like 30 members and by the end of the day, you will have 30 likes", the instructor said. He was actually counting on that. But 4 days have passed since then. Not. Even. A. Single. Like. Or a visitation to the blog.

But the centricity and the so-called-recognition that was there has started to fade off as everyone is realizing that this guy doesn't need that much of attention that they were showering on. As the crowd slowly started increasing and more people came into picture, soon Aman will fade out, just like he wanted it to happen.

15. Jinx

Days have passed quickly than I have anticipated. It has been more than 5 days since I posted. Now the question lies about the 365 challenge. It is not that I don't want to write. It is more of a new developed laziness that has gotten into me. Though, I have been associated with it for a time I no longer can look backward to,that deep into my history. So, it's a little bit of this and a little bit of that. What's this and that ? Laziness and umm, sleep? Okay, I have to let this out. I am usually an insomniac. And with that comes great responsibility. Yes, it is a super power. People don't understand it. But it really is. And since people don't understand it, they think its evil in all sense. And I think I have been a victim of their preposterous assumptions. Someone jinxed or cursed me may be. Because I have been sleeping a lot, like a lot lately. This is so unlike me. 

Okay, get this. I don't usually sleep at my will. Everytime I sleep is an unknown process where I slowly drift into sleep from drowsiness. Though I would be sitting and sleeping, but that is a different story altogether. I usually sleep after the clock has passed the midnight strike a few hours earlier. But this has changed and I am sleeping a few hours before mid night. This is so unlike me. So, you see. Someone has done something to me. 

Recently, I have been on a trip. Ah, about the trip. The next past ( this one precisely ) was supposed to be about it, but there has been a slight complication. I will just give the outline, like a trailer. The trip lasted for a near 3 days, which I must say has been the longest trip I have been ever to. The main purpose behind it was to attend a friend's sister marriage. To point out, I don't usually attend marriages in particular. But these days, I have to because everyone is kind of getting married. And attending friend's or colleague's marriage is one thing, but friend-colleague's sister's marriage would mean that that person is more of a good friend (or a little bit more than that). So, we attended that and it was great. But during our stay at my friend's house, I forgot my camera at his home. I realized that while we were on the way to the marriage and it was almost two hours journey away from my camera. Yeah, I cursed myself of my forgetfulness. How could I even forget my camera? Me? Camera! Me? Me? ME? I? I? Something is wrong. Something is terribly wrong. So, yeah, I came back without my camera and as a result the post which was supposed to be about it (with photos) is still on hold. And to add to that, my fate got kicked again in the ass. The person in whose I forgot the camera went back home for some personal reason, so I asking him to tag along the camera with him. When he messaged me that he was bringing the camera, I thought the post won't be delayed for long. But guess what I was wrong. This super dude, brought the camera, but forgot the memory card back at his home. And I was thinking everything was going excellent with my so-called-fate. Okay, people, don't jinx it even more. And to add to that already I slept the whole journey. I was like, what the hell is wrong with me? I don't usually sleep and while in journey, nah! No way! But still I slept like anything and one thing that my friends were shocked by seeing me sleep for such long hours. And to add to my glory, even the driver thought I was sleeping a little too much. So, umm *poker face* . *No comments* Period. 

So, the last comment ended with this : 

"can i make you my brother :D i will be your sweet lil sis and u my big cool bro ;) "

Such sweetness! Such awesomeness. This was actually sweet and frankly speaking I was grinning from ear to ear when I first read this. I am hoping to write a detailed post on that as well. But, for now lets settle with this. Like I said, I am giving the teasers for the posts-which are yet to be written. First of all, it was so sweet of her to ask, inspite of all the Valentines' Day flu flying around. And well that day is a dry day for me, as always it has been. This P.P.S on the comment made my day. Big Cool Bro !  Sounds awesome. Yeah, don't worry, I will give the details s-h-o-r-t-l-y. Only thing you have to pray for is to make sure that I don't sleep at nights. :P Umm, I mean it , actually. 

P.S. : There is no P.S. here. Just felt like adding this at the end, 'cause it was looking like empty? may be! 

Ciao guys.

Over and out. 

#365Challenge

{ 15 / 365 } 

That Love.

What beauty you withhold

That clenches my heart

That spins me into dreams
That makes me go Crazy

Among the distant shades,

Various shadows of people
You seems so clear, so vivid
While I remain a shadow!

Emptiness that my heart holds, 
You fill it with your warmness.
Your smile, so fulfilling
Your Beauty, so ecstatic.

Illuminated by your charm, 
I am at loss of words
To express how I feel, 
How you make me feel.

What magic you know
What spell you put
What sorcery you performed
To bind me in your thoughts.

I sometimes, find myself
Losing to the melody of your beauty
Drowning in your warm smile
Sleeping with your dreams.

So close you feel, in thoughts
Yet so far. I wish
You know what I felt, 
What you did to me.

Compelled I am, to ask God
Just to make you my life, 
With the eternal love
I find in you. 

- Ajay Kontham  ©  2013

As Written in Winged Dreams.

Sunken Melody.

The Sun drowned into Night
Danced in Patience

Sang in Silence

While I sank in darkness.

The sweetness of the Song, 

Felt Bitter in its Melody.

The Pleasant wind that blew, 

Felt Harsh in my face.

Days swirled into Nights,

And Nights into Days

Time was an enemy,

For it never cared about me.

The Morning sunshine, Beautiful

Yet, Felt like a raging Fire.

The refreshing Nights, Peaceful

Yet, Felt like a sleepless fright.

Confusion surrounded the Patience, 

Anger rose beneath the Softness.

But I was lost, wandering, searching for solace

Escaping from Life, from Myself.

It never stopped, no matter what!

Disheartened, I was. Until Someone said

"Life is too Short,

To Work so Hard."

Left Everything to follow my Dream, 

Struggled beyond my capability,

Until, I felt the Beautiful Sunshine

The Pleasant Night and the Melodious Song.

- © Ajay Kontham [2013] 

-Written for Carry on Tuesday.

P.S. : Agreed! The title doesn't make any sense. 

Houston.....

Houston, Houston! We have a Problem.

The weather is cold, cold-ish. My Brains' completely Dead. Fading thoughts. Mindless circles/images/what-not on the notepad. TV playing silently in the background. Half Empty Stomach. Clock Struck One. Insomnia for past two days. Watching Movies. Window Shopping. Eating Junk Food, like everytime. Bottom Line - 

Houston, Houston! We Lost you! 

So, Ajay (I mean the so-called-author who brags about this blog) is Brain-dead. Completely, I mean it. He bought a couple of Novels last week. Wait, not a couple of.. but a couple of couple books. And just finished one with great difficulty. What's funny is he reads the novels while in the journey, in a tightly packed bus. But at the comfort of the home - No. I still don't understand what the hell is going on with him. And lately he is sleeping early, like 2100 hours, which is like 1800 hours in his time.  He has been a little different lately, or is he being his usual self - I don't have a clue. And my guess is - He himself doesn't know about it, for sure. Else I wouldn't be here, right? 

Waaiiittttt! Who the hell are you?

So, Who am I ? Well, I don't have a name per se. Hmm... How do I put this? Well, You could call me the Dark-Passenger for Dexter. Wait! That's sounds too villainy. Hmm... Batman for Bruce Wayne. Spider Man for Peter Parker. Whoa! Whoa! Hold your horses. Now get down to reality and stop exaggerating. Ok! Fine. Hmm... You could call me the Alter-Ego, or the stuff that you read in this blog which is italic-ed. Yeah! That! Those sane, or insane thoughts that sometimes keep popping in between the steady flow of the write-up, revealing the truths/facts/lies/what-not. [BTW in this post, if you find any of those "italic-ed" stuff, please note that its' not me, for sure; or it could be the Alter-Alter-ego.] Don't Sweat it and you; reading this, please stop banging you head to the wall/table/etc.

So, what has been this guy, the 'so-called-blogger' been upto? Lately, he is eating my peace-of-mind and filling it with, or lets say forcing me to think harder on broader topics, which could influence his writing and people to start with. And I just can't stop laughing when he does that. I mean come on, A 1st standard kid probably can't solve any MIT math problem, can he? Too lame, try again. A 1st standard kid probably can't reach the fruit on a very big tree, can he? This too, And don't try again. You are just insulting the term "Try Again" and making it much more worse. So better stop. Man, I was much better off myself. This guy, AK (author/blogger), ruined almost everything. And what is his obsession with this writing? Sometimes, it drives me crazy, you know. Yeah, I give him most of the ideas and the good stuff, but then he ruins it by saying - "I ain't a good writer/blogger. Probably no one even reads my blog". And thats' crazy, ain't it? And that's what sometimes keeps me from thinking out of the box. Though, I think of the box most of the time (No Kiddin') , sometimes I get into the box, just to see the contents as of how much I know or how much I should know/think. 

Well, What else does he do? To keep himself sane and to keep me working he started that Haiku thing. Most of the times, he doesn't get much ideas/thoughts/whatever-you-call-it to write. And there is not much to write in that Haiku also. And that's what the best part! Few words- Big Meaning. So, he ends up with some words which differ just like North-South and he feels happy about it. Haha. You have no idea how he feels. As if his writings got published in a book- like that happy. And then again he re-reads it and try to understand what others have understood from his mindless boggling of thoughts randomly shuffled & arranged. Phew!

He sometimes gets angry. Angry at people/someone. May be he is frustrated with the laziness and literally doing nothing - physically and mentally. And may be that could be the reason for a slight shift in his personality and the thinking process. Someday, he might end beating the s#it of that guy who keeps asking bloody-nonsense questions all the time and who criticizes almost everything, where most of what happens to be women. So, yeah! One day, he might be picking up his teeth from the floor. 

Or It might be the Job. The Job where he doesn't do a single thing and yet gets the money at the end of the month. Actually, that's what he wants. Do nothing- Get Paid. But the money isn't sufficient. Must somehow he wants to double, no triple , no quadruple his current pay. And obviously without doing nothing. As if that's gonna happen. Whatever! 

Mayday, Mayday. 

Charlie Tango Going Down.

People are dying .. after reading this post.

Taking Cover - away from him.

Out.

Oh! Dear, God! 

We have a Problem. 

Big Time. 

Over and Out.

- The Alter-Ego,

[ a.k.a Ajay Kontham (Unfortunately)]

The Change.

Yesterday I along with my friends were involved in a heated conversation. It was rather an alarming topic that we were discussing about. It all started with a small incident. We were to go to office yesterday and it was a new building with took a lot of time to travel than the previous location. And since we were new there we didn't had any access into the building/floor. The concerned party has to swipe their ID Card to allow us to make an entry. Some of the people were already inside and later some other came, but since they too were just like us without the access were standing outside. My friend(lets call him GH) being generous tried asking the other people who could open the door for the people to come in. But some other person had already initiated the process before him. He come back to us and says, We should give back to the society. I burst out laughing for a short while and reply Is this what you think giving back to the society is ? 

The meeting/training concluded in a couple of hours. But the training session was much less than the time it took us to get there. Yeah! That Far! It was almost lunch time, but not the exact time. In the meanwhile we took a cup of coffee each. We were three of us.  After a little while, they were hungry and ordered something to eat. While they were at it, the topic of Giving back to the Society came back. I have no idea where that came from. Actually I mentioned this phrase to my friend a long back. Let me recap that.

I was home for almost near to a month for Christmas and New Year with out applying any leave at office. And I had to return back because of the sudden meeting taking place at office. So the next day I came, there was a meeting - A meeting the progress we had been doing or what we have been doing so far. The truth - We were doing Nothing. We are famously called as the Bench-Guys (those who aren't given any project so far, due to less number of projects available). Some of us go to office daily to report, some once in a week, some once a month. But at the end of the month, everyone gets the salary. That's pretty cool actually. So, at the meeting, the Person in-charge inquires us about what we have been doing? And there is a company initiative which is mainly for the fitness of the employees - FIt4Life. That is a great initiative and the company would contribute Rs.10/- for each kilometer we run. And that too not from out salary. I have been a regular participant to that initiation. So, when he asked about that, he was not happy when there were only a few people taking part in it. And he inquired further as of what we have been doing sitting in room and in what way we were contributing back to the society? That day, my friend was absent to that meeting as he was still at home. 

Now, we were discussing about it. We three people sitting for lunch, discussing about the Society-Changing techniques. He came to the topic of Trusts where we donate the money to them and they take care of the people/children like their education and other basic needs. And there was a long discussion among us where one supports and the other denies. There was a question Would you donate to the trusts? Another friend (Lets' call him PL) of mine objected that idea and said that they make profit in the name of the trusts. Though, they use a little  part of the money for the welfare or whatever but still a large amount of money still goes into their pockets. He further extended his point by saying that mostly rich people donate huge amounts of money to the trusts and most of it is Black Money. 

The main intention of my friend(GH) was to be helpful and contribute  a little back to the society. But the truth, the society isn't good to us that same way we are to it. There is a specific element called 'Human' who controls almost everything here around. And there is another element called Greed. Human is a greedy social animal. Even though he may be earning a lot of money, the greed never ceases to decrease. May be after everything has happened or one becomes old, and banks filled with millions of 100 dollar bills, may be then, he will try to be generous. I am not saying that everybody is the same that way. There are a lot of people who are not greedy without having anything for themselves. But the usual tendency of human is to be more rich, ow every single thing. Though he may be very good or loyal at the first, as time proceeds there is still a possibility of he becoming the victim of greed. 

It doesn't take just one person. Every other person has to contribute. If you try to be good, and you happen to be the only good person and the rest the same, old, selfish, greedy people, you would probably be devastated as they would exploit the very goodness of the nice people. "This has to Change!" GH said. The Society has to change. If a person doesn't care to help the people in need, it is an alarming question as to where we are heading, to where the Humanity is headed to and what might be the future. My friend, GH was with the notion that when he could be good and contribute a little to the society, so can the million other people around the world. But what he missed was that People are not the same everywhere. I may be good, you may be good, not all are good. Else why in the god's name would the largest democracy has so many problems - financially, politically, religiously, etc etc ways. Because the root of it all is the human, who in-spite of having sufficient for himself still wants more (this is intended to the people who fall in that category). We are not satisfied with what we have. Now, this happens....

We were walking back to the bus stop discussing about how deep is the Society and how much has to be changed. There is a Coconut Shop where people usually drink Coconut water under the hot Sun. We have been there for three times, including this time as well. The first time, when we all drank the coconut water, the kind vendor offered my friend PL, another coconut to drink its water since the earlier one didn't had sufficient water in it. And he did't charge anything more to that. Day before yesterday, he offered me another one for the same reason. And again didn't charge anything. So, my friend GH says that you two people got an extra one. Next time, may be I will get another one. So, what happened yesterday was that, we did exactly what we usually do. But my friend GH after having his share says to the vendor that it didn't had enough water hoping to get another one. But he wasn't given one. And this very friend was the brains behind the thought The Society has to Change. I was laughing uncontrollably and pointing finger at him saying that "This is Human Tendency". Though he may have sufficient, we still want more. Though my friend refused to take another one immediately. But the thought is important here. And he was speaking about changing the society. Since, Human is such whose wishes never fulfill and even they are fulfilled, there is always new on the list. 

So, I wonder if ever we could see a world free from any of that S#it. I know its a distant dream and Yeah! I also know that it is not possible for a single person to be good and expect others to be nice as well, which is simply not possible even in dreams. 

The Society has to change. The People have to change and that has to be done from the Scratch. Well, Bring on the Apocalypse. Or Armageddon, may be. 

"Be Nice. But Don't expect others to be the same." 

- Ajay Kontham [ 2013 ]