Decoding.

Less than three.

Disclaimer : No animals were hurt during this post. But a few 'might' get hurt after reading this. Please keep the doctor on speed dail. Any resemblance to anyone/anything alive or dead is coincidental(ie. true). And also, Cigarette smoking is injurious to health. Not that you care. 

Disclaimer P.S : Less than three in "social term"(ie. the language of social media) can be abbreviated as " < 3". Do you understand? Plus, before you go wondering and get lost, mystery : love!

______________________

Let me be frank with you, and if you already know then just bear with me. Love has always been a complicated thing. Though I have never looked for it, I always had this nagging feeling that it just might happen. I was wrong. It doesn't work that way. I was too stupid to realize even after watching a million movies. Speaking of movies, well we will go there in a few stances. But I wanted to understand what it really felt like. So, instead of (again) not trying to find love, I retracted to much easier version - learning from others. Books are a great place to start with. But then I realized I was more of a murderous person, I mean a mystery-adventure book kind of guy. I wasn't a little bit romantic. I failed the first step to understand romanticism, in other words love. Though I haven't had the courage to read many, but I did read a few, I mean two. But then I realized that even if the story is a standpoint of a different person, the feelings and characters, the plot, but I was doing the screenplay in my mind. And as a non-romantic that I am, I censored the creepy parts. Then there were movies which did the screenplay as well, which was cool in a way. But the phrase "non" that was usually appended with a term in my self description which goes in the lines of non-romantic never faded.

However hopeless I was, however impossible it seemed, I still wanted to know. I am human after all. And all humans are romantic, what's wrong with you?! So, in the process of finding true love or atleast love I have come across some pretty interesting stories, assumptions and a few( esp. from the movies) for which I made myself the critic.

a. The critic.

Let me start with the movies, I mean I am a critic now. I recently watched a lot many movies, of which a lot a few turned out be rom-com (Romantic Comedy). I am going to point out to three movies which I felt were in the lines of yours truly (in terms of passion. On second thought strike that). So the central character (hero) is a famous writer who has either published very good novels or have scripted for very successful movies. But they hit the block where they can not move ahead with the story or novel or the script. So, they feel lost and can't even pen a word. *Drum roll* - Another central/lead Character entry -Heroine. The hero as usual is smitten by the girl. They feel the electric pulses when they first make contact. Basically there is a lot of tension between the people. But wait, oh the love does happen, but the girl already has a boyfriend ( a lover, in terms of being a romantic). Oh, that's a bummer. But our hero still doesn't care and makes out with the heroine, passionately of course. (Now, if I were that guy, I mean in Hero's shoes, I would rather respect her choice of "already having a boyfriend" and sulk in my bed or hit a bar or something. But the hero doesn't do any of that) [Critic Expert Comment :  Now, at this point we, as a spectator would love to watch the union of hero and heroine since "he" is the hero and "she" is the heroine and we are definitely wishing for them a happy ending by settling together. But come on, that Biatch(heroine, however cute or sexy) is already cheating and we are just loving it. Why? Because the hero is cute and so is the heroine. So, right on. ] But. But the heroine says she is already engaged or is already in love and that last night was a MISTAKE, which shouldn't have happened and wont' happen. Hero loses faith. His story is stopped again. He smashes things. (Light bulb in his mind) She is the one and he has to get her, at ANY COST. He runs to the airport, catches the last flight which he would have missed if he was a second late, takes a cab and tells the driver to step on it; stops the marriage just in time. They run towards each other, kiss and live happily ever after, I mean "THE END".

b. Wait, what, I mean how ? 

We were a group of six and we used to hang out on weekends and made the most of the weekends, well on most days. It came as a surprise when a friend proposed another friend of mine who was a year elder, which isn't the point. We were on a road trip and this fellow who had been sitting beside me the whole journey seemed to have proposed and I had no idea about it. I came in light of this news a couple of months later. To this day, I still wonder how that happened (beside me)? Now they are happily married.

c. Missed Opportunity

I haven't felt more bad for anyone else. For almost a year, he kept this as a secret, not letting even a hint of lapse. He loved her dearly. You know what, this very guy inspired me in writing a few lines in the lines of romantic. But then he chicken out and said, it was better to let go than pursue and ruin everything that was perfect. So, one year, he kept loving her from afar. I urged him to take a leap of faith and burst that bubble - by which you will at least have the clarity on what to do next. He fought back saying it was better left un-expressed. Recently, he got wind that she was about to be married. I wanted to know how he felt about all that. "No Comment", he said. That was the last, he spoke with me and I with him. I didn't want to push him. 

d. Blood Love.

I made a new friend(now no longer) during the transition from one work to another, though I ended up where I began, literally. She said she already had a boyfriend, as if anyone would pry on her. So, one casual conversation led her to reveal her love story. It started six/seven years ago, when she was in college. Though he is staying far from her now, she was in a long distance relationship. She used to tell me how "protective" he is of her, that he doesn't allow her to go out, that he scolds her whenever she talks with any guy, likewise. That he loved her very much much but never wanted anyone to know about it in college. That his parents would ask a huge sum as dowry and that she didn't have it. That she was getting irritated by her boyfriend. I had to ask her about how it all began. She hesitated to tell, but she eventually told. He, our hero, seemed to have cut his hand pretty bad after he got rejected by her. She being the caring one, took pity on him and accepted his proposal. To which I was not only shocked and thought what kind of a stupid this person is. In her words, " Agar koi aapke liye haat kat leta hai, tho kitna pyaar karta hoga. Isliye haan keh diya" ( Translation : "If someone cuts their hand for someone they like, they must really love the person. That's why I said Yes"). I deemed her mad at that very moment and that guy the stupidest person ever. A few days later, they broke up and she was happy. But she kept telling that he was still cutting his hand / not eating / doing some other drama. Eventually, he wasn't able to convince his parents it seems, she was happy that she was alone again and ready to mingle. About time, right? Now get this, her future husband : Should be atleast an IAS. I was like Pyaar ka tho dhajiya uda diya en logo ne.

e. Don't say a word.

I have this friend who has a girlfriend and who ditches us whenever she calls to meet. The worst part of it all is when he is with us, he is not with us. He is glued to his cell phone as if Fevi Quik accidentally fell on his hands and he was holding the phone. Oh wait, there is another worst part, she is about to be married. While his story runs on endangered fossil fuel, there is another guy who was smitten by "love" so bad that he roamed the city a couple of weeks and then broke up with her when he thought he could do better and have "better" girls. Yes, its a plural. Now, he not only ogles like a maniac, he is eyeing an already married girl. (Oh, thanks for the knife. *Stabs myself*. Because.This.is.where.we.have.come.to.)

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Sometimes, I feel it is better to not get involved in all this love-shuv thing. Because of the people like these. But then again, it is still a mystery to me and I like to solve that. The thing about this so called love is that is that it isn't visible. Well, it is visible if one is hopelessly in love or a die hard romantic at heart, neither of which I can associate myself with. But for a, is it safe to say, stone-hearted person like myself, it is like unchartered territory and it is totally safe to say that it is like an onsite opportunity in my project - never going to happen. Never. Ever. Never. Ever. 

P.S. Dear People-in-Love, I know how stupid and idiotic I might sound right now. But, please don't shower the gyan on me. I will still not understand the complication unless I row that boat myself. So, please spare me. I beg of you.

#ThatSevenThings

Disclaimer : This is not for the faint of heart / stamina. Treat yourself with a bottle of Nimboo ka paani / Coconut water before reading, or I can sponsor you (of course after reading and believe me, you would need it). Extensive use of hashtags (because I can) and random names ( to screw it up for people to read and follow the context). [Pro Tip : Use a notepad and a pencil to keep up. You are welcome]. And ... yeah.. this is my fascination with words and an experiment involving myself as a critic.Let me allow you to be the judge of it. Any relevance to either living or dead or fictional is totally coincidental. 

Disclaimer P.S. : Red Alert - Don't read if you haven't watch the movie titled : "Fast and Furious 7" or you happen to be a "Die Hard"  fan of it. Yes you, don't, just don't!

#kuchBhi #kuchBhiMovie #FreakingKuchBhi #theKuchBhiMoments

Fiction has always been a fascination. The words that do the magic of converting an idea into a reality for the imaginative mind to ponder around in building a world around its structure. It is just a bliss in a way. I am fascinated by it. As a matter of fact, I even attempted to write some fiction. No, not everything I write here is fiction. Seriously, it is not.I did give it a try a few times. I just couldn't proceed with it. Why, you ask? I didn't have the foundation for the story, a comprehensive proof. Sure, I could make things just around, break things or even bring upon a purple wedding. At the end it should make sense and be justifiable, well like that purple wedding. Most of the South Indian movies could defy physics, biology, chemistry, all you mean to say is "Science", yeah, Science. If you are thinking why I jumped from writing to movies in a beat, it is because I draw information from everything. And the people around me have become monotonous, by which I mean getting married. Speaking of married, what's up with people and marriage. Hot cakes, I say! This year alone I attended five freaking marriages. I mean, umm.. okay, let's leave it at that. So, fiction writing and movies. As I watch the movie, in my head I would be reciting it as if I am reading it, trying to pen down how an author would do if he / she were to write the movie as a book. Now, the main point we are discussing here is logic. I have stopped mid way a lot of stories because I couldn't get the logic right! Yes, the fact that I haven't experienced a lot of things is another debatable topic. But logic, in general. So, here is one story.

The story begins with a classic revenge - the kind of revenge that big brothers take for their younger siblings, in a high end car chase kind of big way. So...

#One : In the process of collecting the information against the people who put the younger sibling in hospital who will eventually end up in a jail, Mr. X kicks the ass of a heavy weight champion, umm supercop. Bham, wham, boom, the supercop guy whooshes out of the window and falls down from a three storey building. He ends up with a fractured hand and a sprained leg. #noScratchsAllowed

Mr. X knows about all the people in the "Hero" gang from the information collected from the supercop's computer and decides to eliminate one by one, or all at a time which ever was convenient. Just as then, he leaves a warning message by blowing their house. The Hero 1 gets hyper pissed off and is determined to set things straight. Meanwhile, the Hero6 gets killed my Mr.X as the other heroes encounter a blast in their home. H1 sets out to Japan, just like that to get his chain, which he had been wearing from the Day 1 of the sries start. How did it even end up there? Well anyway, he is determined to take revenge for his dear departed friend. All the heros attend H6's funeral where H1 senses the presence of Mr. X. He takes out his super car and chases him down into an underpass where they face each other. Wrooom, wrooom. The super cars accelerate signaling for a combat by hood-fight, hood-to-hood. They go at full speed or over 100 miles in like 3 seconds and ram into each other. #NotASingleScratch while the two super cars are now junk after the head on collison. Mr X takes out his gun but doesn't fire ( this would just end the movie, just like that). May be he had the safety on. Or may be he was out of bullets. Spider soldiers drop from no where. Yeah no where. It was a underpass, but well, no big deal there. Mr X escapes.

Superop guy recommends a special task force, an old friend of his to get that Mr X back, who happens to be a kick ass (literally) ex-soldier who was tried to be put down, but it was just next to impossible. The old friend recommends an alternative deal to H1 for his help on something - If he succeeds in bringing the required item, all his soldiers will be at H1's disposal. But H1 wanted his own team. H1, H2, H3, H4, And H5 (H1's {spoiler alert :}wife, but she doesn't know yet) set out to get a person who has created Big Brother, in other terms a Virtual tracking device, which is called Gods Eye.

#Two : The plan was to grab a person from a highly secure transport facility but they couldn't just drive up to there ( They were going green, saving fuel. Wait, they were wasting it. How ? read on ..) They decide to intercept the transport mid way at some point "p" on the map which is the best possible way to grab the person, I mean the hacker person who was still faceless, unknown and a mystery. Instead of driving upto there in their super cars, they decide to para-jump from the aircraft sitting in their super cars. What the whhhaaaaatt...! What the hell was that for? I have no idea! They make a safe landing, well almost everyone, just where they wanted, duh! Machine guns, hook and nook, and human jumps become order of the day. H2 gets into the machine gun infested, heavy vehicle and grabs the package, oops sorry, the person who happens to be a hot girl with curly hair. Mr X finds the whole gang trying to do some stupid stunt. He tracks them down without the help of Gods Eye or any tracking device. This H-gang was sloppy as hell. Our hero gang was risking their life for that Gods Eyewhich was supposed to be used to find Mr X. 

I guess Mr X is a super hero here. He didn't need anything and he was coming at them alone, and he was coming with full force, full guns blazing, armored vehicle like no other. Skid, jump, drag, accelerate - the girl is now with H1, who is being chased by Mr X. H1 eventually manages to cripple Mr. X's vehicle. Just as then H1 along with the hot girl are pinned at the edge of the cliff by the people who were transporting her for the God's eye drive ( They had freaking helicopters and drones equipped with missiles - This was way too high end to be transporting by road!)and eventually they lose the hot girl.

#Three : Now, the hot girl and our H1 are in the car pinned down by the Villains and they had no where to go, except down the cliff. H1 tells the hot girl to wear a helmet, does a 360 and jumps off the cliff. It tumbles down and down and guess what ( you already know, don't you)H1 is literally without a scratch while the hot girl has a few (for namesake) and she happens to be unconscious due to the tumbling down.

Upon interrogation  about God's eye, they realize that the item in question was "supposed" to be safe with the hot girls' best friend since she didn't "trust" anyone else. The hot girl's stupid happened to be in Dubai. So, the Hero gang, the old friend  along with the hot girl (of course) fly to Dubai to retrieve the drive from the best friend. Unfortunately he happens to have sold it. "Take care of it until I come" means sell it to the Prince without telling me. But nothing to worry. He was a Prince, lives in a penthouse with the highest security, the best fastest-bulletproof( this is convenient) car in the world and he happens to have hid the drive inside the car ( What was he thinking in the first place?)

#Four : The hero gang get entry, hack the security camera and are good to steal the drive. But as then someone gets sloppy ofcourse, the Hero(ine)5. The lead security officer is a lady (obviously, right? who wouldn't have a ass kicking heavyweight champion has a personal security guard). An epic (girly/cat) fight with heels-on happens between H5 and very strong security lady, who also happens to raise the alarm of an intrusion before entering into the fight. So the guys who were trying to steal the drive from the secure place are eventually getting trapped. There was no time to waste. H1 and H2 hop into the car and break the wall through the narrow escape on the closing walls just in time. The Prince gets angry and they start shooting at them. Well, the car is bulletproof and no bullets could do any good. Instead of taking an elevator down, they choose to fly out. Yes sir. H1 is an expert driver and he made the whatever-calculations-needed and accelerates the car and rams it through the glass window pane only to land on the adjacent building which was undergoing renovation (luckily). This was a blindest perfect jump ever ( If I were driving that car, I would end up hitting between the two floors and eventually have a flight straight down. May be that's why I am not the leading character).But Houston, we have a terrible problem. The brakes wont work, for some reason. Guys, the costliest, fastest, bulletproof car just for you, oh wait, the brakes might not work sometime so you have to learn to jump out of it. And in order to escape this horror, the H1 again speeds up and takes it through the glass again to the third building where a old monument convention was going on ( on like the 80th floor, who would take all that trouble to take those things up there?). They manage to destroy every piece of it, smash-smash-smash and get the drive out and also manage to jump out of the car just in time while the car takes an express flight straight down. ( Oooh damn. The car which they called Beast is now literally nothing but junk). 

#Five : Now that the worlds greatest tracking device is in hand, they could find anybody in the world in a matter of seconds. Mr X is tracked down to an abandoned factory, of course! The H -gang preps up and sets for a surprise invasion and eventually wither kill / capture Mr X. They set out in the night with lights blazing from the SUV's (that's called stealth mode) only to find Mr X having a nice dinner. PLease note that Mr X is a highly trained operative with no mercy at all and he fast and strong and awesome. They have him right in sight, but can't shoot ( duh! the movie would get over) only to find reinforcements in the form of Villains from whom they stole the package. Fire, bullets blazing, grenades blasting. The God's eye falls from the H-gang, and another member is shot. To rescue him they leave without the God's eye. (They could have just destroyed it instead of leaving it there. They still had the creator who could totally create it back. It's not like she was old and took decades to build it. Remember, she is hot?). What I didn't understand is why didn't Mr. X kill them then and there? It wasn't like they became invisible. They had a dying man and a Black SUV. And they were running away in the night with lights on. Anybody could chase them, literally.

Anyway, the old officer dude was hit pretty badly in the crossfire and tells them they are on their own. So, the H gang want to take it to the home town where they the streets better or whatever! So, the villains track using the God's eye, and even though they have the best tracking software, they still wanted the hot girl.

#Six : A small car chase ends up with H1 facing Mr X in the abandoned parking lot just like the scene an hour earlier in the underpass. Vroom, accelerate, clash! They hit each other face to face with a bit of a twist. While these guys were going head on, the hot girl has a plan to hack her software and take back the control but that requires her to in the close proximity of the God's eye. The twist here is that the Villains were in the chopper and they deploy a drone equipped with missiles. They use the god's eye to pin point their location and shoot missiles at them to kill them? They wanted the hot girl but still they were throwing missiles. They jump out of super cars going at great speed, they switch cars, they do all the stunts that could have been possible. Oh, yeah! Not a scratch. I had paper cuts while eating popcorn. I had to bandage it, literally.

#Seven : H1 finally manages to knock Mr X, and he even manages to place a bag full of grenades on the chopper used by the villains by jolting himself at about 80 degrees angle and falls down. The H gang rush to check him whether he is alive or dead. H2 confirms that he is dead. H5 (the still-not-disclosed-wife-of-H1) finally speaks to him about getting out of coma, umm, no.. it wasn't coma... oh yeah, getting her memory back, which is a miracle actually since there is no "Science" involved for this. H1 finally wakes up from his sleep. Yay! 

Let me break down a little secret here. I am a big fan of Mr X. And that is one of the reason why I wanted him to win this "War". He may be the bad guy! These H-gang weren't any less. 

No more people died. Thank God. Except the 230 cars that were presumably used and destroyed while making. The extravaganza! 

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P.S. Few things worth mentioning I guess :

a. Yes, #iAmAHashTagFanatic. No, I don't tweet much. I just #Retweet tweets. It is much easier than thinking what to tweet and ending up with nothing to tweet. 

b. Yes, I am a lousy critic. Look at me as a logical person. And no, don't say it is just a movie and it is a work of fiction. Yes, it is. But that doesn't mean anything can happen for the benefit of the movie. At least make it look real.

Friend's Opinion on the movie : "I felt like I was watching an animated movie". Well, that would have made more sense, wouldn't it?

c. If you decide to kill me (for ruining a "supposedly" good movie or whatever) now? Get in line, okay? 

d. There might be a ton of grammatical mistakes. This whole correcting the grammar thing on the internet has messed up my mind. I guess I am remembering all the wrong sentences and assuming that they are right! What the hell, right? That feeling is mutual here. *shakes head vigorously to snap out of it*

#FF7 #Fast7 #FastAndFurious7

Image Courtesy 

Critique, I am.

Welcome the critic, hmm.. critique sounds good, I guess. A big round of applause for this freak who involuntarily speaks about other people rather than minding his own god damn work. So, I am back with all myself and some new things to add to the existing previous posts in which I seemed to have been going on and on about the people and their whatever-it-is-called/ attitude. Now, I have some more. I just can't get over it, can I ? This time I will mix the good and the rest. So, lets start my melodrama. 

• I sometimes wonder what the hell is this guy doing here. I mean this company is far too good for him. And with his knowledge and persistence I am sure much better companies would hire him. He reads a lot and has a device for the same and thus, he is nick named after it- Kindle. Whatever I say would be less, but he is just awesome. I mean in every way. He has the required capability to grasp everything in his premises and analyze it perfectly. I could also call him a genius-geek. He is funny and  equally cool guy. Sometimes we just laugh at the jokes we crack at others. And he had told me twice something about that he wanted to see me talking to a gf. My instant response was , that was not going to happen at all , at least not in this lifetime. If you are following me regularly on this blog, you might have read in one post that I laughed like hell for no apparent reason and I was along with two other guys. Well, one of them was this person. I kept laughing because he was laughing and also that we had no idea why we were laughing. So, the reason seemed funny, I guess. There is nothing much, I can say about someone a little too perfect. I could give away my stupid-nick name which I don't deserve to this deserving guy - Mr. Perfect. I can bet that this guy would be more than successful than he can even imagine.
• Now there are people who usually like other people. Some love, some have a crush and some just like people for what they really are or whatever. There is this one guy and I really appreciate his openness and his frankness. He seems calm and may be he is. And in addition to that he talks a lot most of the time explaining his mind. So, he says to me while we were on our journey back to hostel- You really can't tell/know when someone like you. I was take aback for a second and thought he was speaking about girls. Phew!! Girls and Me ? are more like east and west, which never meet. And I tell him the same thing, No one would even dream of it or as a matter of fact take me into consideration. But it was after a minute or two of explanation that I realized that he was speaking about him. As a friend, I too like him for his uniqueness which he withholds but when he asked me directly an indirect question I was rather puzzled about how to answer that and I kept quite which he regarded as something opposite to what he had anticipated. Now I was there puzzled and confused and it kind of feels gay-ish to reply him that I too like him, isn't it. And as a friend I too like him as I already mentioned, but how does one say that, I mean it is more like proposing, is it not? "Hey, man I like you too!" .It would be better to follow the flow and mention that, but not after a hefty explanation, it might just sound awkward. I really don't know how that sounded to you, but for me, I just can't say that. But I can very well be a good-silent-friend. 
• I am a stubborn silent guy. I speak out when I crack jokes. Oh yeah, I do. Some one must have seen me in school days. I was a multiple-disorder guy. Both silent and whatever-the-antonym-is guy. I mean, I would crack the meanest of the jokes. I mean meanest-MEANEST. And we buddies had a nice laugh at it. And I was very young also. Now, I feel like a teenage wasted because I don't find that kind of friends any more and the people now-a-days are effing SoB's. No one knows my funnier past and its not very pleasant also because I might get a little cranky also at times. I don't speak much, deal with it. For that to happen, a total change over has to take place and I don't think thats' possible in the near future or as a matter of fact , it's not at all possible. So, if I am not saying anything doesn't mean I-don't-give-a-eff-what-you-are-saying, it just means that I-effing-respect-whatever-is-on-your-mind and I-really-don't-have-any-direct-comments-on-it. (Too many dashes) . And people really don't know the reason why I keep myself away from everything or say most of the things. People would be shocked if they hear my only wish. Now you don't have to ask me. I won't tell. But its on my personal blog which also contains more sugar-honey-iced-tea like this. And like I said, you really don't wanna know. 
• Now, I've mentioned about this guy over a million times in the recent posts. Just one a-s-_-h-o-_-e. I dont' want to swear but if I start, it would be endless. Wait a minute, I don't know that many swearing-words. Actually, I am fed up of writing over and over again about the same bullshit about some people and I really wanted to stop this. But the cr*p never ends and its stinks like hell and I have to let it free. Thats' in my mind, if you happen to realize. So, today, a guy tell me to take the food for him also. First of all, there is a big line and second of all I don't really eat, thirdly, I decided to let it go and eat this day, fourthly I stand in the line to collect two person's meal, fifthly where the hell was he when he was supposed to collecting his own god-damn-food. At last I find him talking to a girl, obviously, how did I miss that? And he was discussing about World-Hunger, no?.... then Poverty..no? not even that?  The girl is very into helping orphans,...well... then Stock Market,.. not even that? .... then... Renewable Sources of Energy, (well, he can give a lot of bullshit) ... not even that? Come on man, what else could be that alarming that he is standing mid-way and talking seriously. Lets recap a little bit. Last saturday, a movie after planning a little about the Ripples( An art kind of thing which brings out the creativity of people as a group and they have to work on any kind of idea whichever interests them, it could be a drawing, painting, graphics printout and the list goes one). Yesterday, as per the latest news, I heard, another movie. Well, good. Because I kind of missed the yesterdays movie- Step Up Revolution. Those SoB's didn't call me yesterday, while this guy jollied away with the remaining people who he admired the most, if you know what I mean. So, the point here is that, he would do something he hates doing if I tell but won't refuse if that comes from the opposite gender. Need I say more, I would be wasting your time as well as mine. I mean, come on man, grow up. He would reply, I am grown and doing the what-I-effing-like. Why are so bothered about it ? That would leave me dumbfounded, won't it? He already gives no-sh_t about me and makes the worst of me all the time, is it anything new to him?  Somewhere deep down, I think why do people just be like that - Like swingers - Just swinging to what interests them and dump the rest or to use something more sensible use the rest. 
• Someone knows everything. And this special someone thinks he doesn't know that much. He appears as silent as an owl apart from his interactive mind and friendly nature which attracts most of the people, sometimes, it feels like waking a sleeping lion. No matter how much we grow, we still remain the old fashioned-new college teenagers. Or such is the thought of most of the people. I have to hit my head with a steel rod and wake myself up. There is this Professional Grooming session where people are taught how to be effing Professional. Why does that fades away just as the person-who-taught leaves the room. The momentary lapse makes me feel that these guys will start behaving properly and be something more like a professional. I recall the little and long trips and take back my thoughts and bury them deep beneath. It is just so naive to think about someone changing on an overnight. Don't look at me, I know I am an exception. (No Kidding, okay fine, I am kidding, may be). I want to see how professional people(read: friends) travel long distances. Do they get a little teen-aged and do something crazy? Don't tell me that "Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara" story. I meant like crazy-crazy more like stupid-crazy or whatever crazy that isn't professional. I get really pissed when someone just crosses a line and I still stay the same old me ignoring all the bloody nuisance. You tell me? What should I do ? Man up and hit him? Sometimes people get physical also, but I don't. Because at that moment, I think in my mind - This ass-O is going in my blog for sure, no doubt. 
• PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DON'T OVER ACT (for the sake of humanity and for god's sake) . It really kills me, when people act so well that their over-acting just kills me. Just like stab-me, stab-me-now. So there is this guy who is a gem in over-acting and he really does it so well that you can clearly make out that he is effing overacting, rather too too tooooo much. And if you know what biscuits mean, it will be much more clearer. Usually, puppies are tempted by biscuits. Similarly, the word is used as an metaphor and is now used by people to mock other people are trying to impress  other people with flattery and all that stupid-stuff. So, this guy has a huge collection of biscuits, sorry correction, cream biscuits(now you know the intensity of flattery with cream in between the biscuits). I something get confused whether it is flirting or just flattery. Whatever it is, I don't give a  sugar-honey-iced-tea about it. Well, why am I writing if I ^(above italics). It is really saddening or let me put it this way, it is really irritating when I hear even if I don't want to hear. What can I do, I have big ears ! My Bad. :/
• He is calm, composed, silent, stupid, behaves funny with a long hair with gel and oil, I guess. He is really an as$ in his own way. He totally pisses me off when I try to talk to him, he just listens like a effed-up idiot. He doesn't respond. He just throws a fake smile as if we don't know thats' a fake smile. And when he gives presentation, I just feel like throwing whatever is in my hand at him. He totally sucks, in all ways possible. (If you know this guy, you would be surprised to know that he composed this sucking post).

Enough for today, I suppose. So, is my mind at ease now? I hope so. So, this should be the last human-disregarding and downgrading post. I hope this is it. I mean come on man, for how long will I be pissed off at myself and other people. Now who the eff said said Eternity? Message for you : NONE. Message to self : FML, seriously do that.  

Soo..Corked up!

I already shot him, but he is still walking lazily. Why doesn't he just die and go somewhere called hell, may be. A small clip is being continuously played in my mind and I know I messed it up big time, and I just want it to get over with it. So, I had my presentation and surprisingly I was cool and not tensed. May it was the empty stomach. Now lets back up a bit. Last time, I remember having breakfast, that to be I don't usually have breakfasts was yesterday when I went out to get some tabs to cope with the torturous throat and running nose and realized those are not to be taken on an empty stomach. So, I tried some breakfast. Then had the tabs. And then at office, we were shifted to a new campus which has something worse food and I had no idea of walking half a kilo-meter just for food. So, I dropped the idea though some of my friends insisted me on having something to eat. Then later that night, we were made to stay up a little late, and if you read my previous post, I mentioned something about it as well. So, no diner yesterday. Today, morning as usual, I don't have breakfast ever so this was just another normal day except that I was having a pint of fever, a running nose and a soar throat. I started with some biscuits but found out that these were already being consumed by ANTS. These ants are just awesome, they can even make holes into a perfectly sealed packet and have some delicious biscuits for themselves with out paying a penny to the person who bought it. Obviously I threw it in the dustbin and pick up another packet from my biscuit collection. Wait a minute , you don't know, right ? I am sooo lazy that I buy a weeks supply at a time and keep munching the rest of the week. And the shop is just besides my hostel, so now you know how active I am . So, the afternoon went by and then there it was , the presentation. 

I don't know what happened in the meanwhile, but there was some sort of air coming out or was trying to come out from my stomach. I had no idea such things happen when one has an empty stomach. Well, over a day of empty stomach. And I stand there feeling something strange in my stomach. But I cool it off with the thought that I have a presentation to give first. My time comes and suddenly I stop in the middle and I am like __________________________ ( a long pause ) I seriously have no idea what happened but I just paused. God, Kill me. Seriously, I mean it. Like I said, Only if he could hear. So, I had been trying to kill that guy, or atleast that awkward 5.. wait no, 10 seconds pause. 

I will get back to my usual self now. The one who always comments on how people tend to behave and ignoring all the stupid things he does. All seemed happy today. You can really see the glow in their eyes and in their attitude. Some are not be mentioned are totally hyperactive. And no matter what the other people do, they just get all hyper and all. And believe me when I say, Its utterly disgusting. Please don't get this into your mind. There is this guy who would get into every single thing and just piss off most of the people, if not most, well then me. And then he cracks a superb lame joke and some of the girls start laughing without taking into account that he was actually flirting. Didn't I mention? He flirts with every one present and more with someone he likes most. So, the last Sunday was a friendship day, and in the last moment we managed to get some bands from the roadside shop on which it was written the company's' that I presently working in. So this guy firstly tell everyone that someone tied that thing and pretends as if he didn't tells. So, now also I can see that on his hand so one might as well incur something out of it right ? 

And there is another guy about whom I mentioned a number of times on my blog, and he is second to him or I would rather say he is first in this own way. Now, I am getting pissed off at everything he does and when he comes near me and tries to tell or do something funny which he usually does, I simply tell him 'Don't waste your energy'. He even responds to it saying, I wont' where I was indirectly directly him to stay the eff from me, but which part he doesn't understand. 

Now another guy, about whom also I mentioned earlier. I feel like shouting 'GET THE POINT CLEAR BEFORE YOU TELL'. Clearly, I don't know what's on his mind. He comes and tells me, there is nothing to worry. BIG EFFF that. There is every reason to worry about it. And he takes it so lightly, that I am overwhelmed, seriously I am. Come on, give me a break. He is totally perfect at whatever he does and whatever he wants to do, just that he doesn't tell. Yeah no kiss-and-tell.. It does feel like that when he responds there is nothing to worry and I will take care of it. Again EFF that. God dammit, just tell what are you going to do. And keep us out from some sort of suspense because it is something like a group work and when he does that , it just pisses of whatever is in me. I don't usually talk back, but in these situations, I could even hit. Believe me, I can. I would be no more a stuffed toy who just sits behind the glass pane. 

Coming to me. Let me look at myself silently from one corner of the room. Now its my time. There sits some guy fiddling with his little-long hair and a little bit of showing off which no one observes. Wait a minute, he ducks down trying to escape something. Oh, he is reading something, may be a novel, I guess. And I wonder why people call him Mr. Perfect. I mean come on, it should be something related to that guy. He is silent and don't care what the worlds' gonna happen. And more over that guy doesn't even drink like in the movie where the hero does all the things and just pretends as if he is totally Perfect. I mean drink drink , not normal drink, I'd be glad if you picked that. Someone from no where answers me : Isn't it obvious that its totally a SARCASTIC remark/name. So, now I get it. He sits there silently and doing nothing most of time or so he says. Now, he's looking more like observing the people around him in a short little span of time. He makes a grin thinking something about the people he just observed. Let me guess.. 'This is so going into my blog'. And what else he does? His presentation skills suck to the core, I feel like my 5 year old cousin brother can do better (far more better) than him. And what is that with loose shirts? Why are his shirts so loose that he is wearing an oversized shirt and always struggling to set it right. He should rather buy something of his own size. If someone from the class reads his blogs, he would be so very much screwed. Or hmm... I leave it to you what might happen. 

Was it all good ? I know it is. Obviously, right? But the people just keep piling up and I have no idea where to start and where to end! Wait a minute, if I continue like this, it won't end at all. 

If you are wondering what the hell does the title mean, don't bother, I myself have no idea. And when I am around stay behind the curtains because ... well... isn't it obvious that I am one lousy critic and make so much easy things harder. Am I not  and don't I  (respectively) ? :P 

Bloggy.

Blog, the word I have been hearing more often these days. Well, I am obsessed with the blogging thing, so it echoes in my brain trying to check the status. My browser automatically opens the Facebook tab and the Blogger tab simultaneously when I connect to the internet. But there is something else all together. In class also, I have started hearing the word blog and when I do most people point to me. First thing is that no body has eve visited my blog, as a matter of fact I didn't share the link. Second thing, I don't know what the others think what I write about in my blog, but they just stick to the fact that I write and that's' it. The other day, one of my Sir was asking something after a small childish activity which had a big logic behind it, Do you have any other blocks? And all of a sudden some of the guys from the class started shouting "AJAY". "Wth, man",I frown. Sir immediately corrects the wrong grasp by the people stating that its BLOCKS and NOT BLOG. Thank god, I didn't give any link to who ever asked. I said to Google my name followed by the keyword blog. 

The Critic

So, this was a rapid spree and the news was spreading fast, well, person to person , like once a month. The other day, a friend of mine came to know that I write from another friend of mine. So, we were in the library and I was busy with some novel on my iPod "50 Shades of Grey". This person sits beside me with a big book consisting of some 50 short stories. And he blurts out "You have a blog? A told me". "Yeah", I reply looking at him with a little bit of excitement. He continues, "I was reading some Blog and A told that you write Blog, what's the link?". Haha, my Blog is spreading. So, I tell him to Google my name. Actually, when I google it, the first that comes is my blog, but it didn't here. So, he scrolls down to the bottom and selects the link which has a tag blog after my name. All this he does on his phone. Later, I tell him the link and there comes  a list of four blogs and I explain what I write in each one of it. He goes to the poem first. I already warn him not to, but still he does. He asks me whether I copied the description ? I give a half smile and reply to him saying that if I were to copy something , then it won't be my blog . I continue saying my blog will have everything that is my own. He reads through the description and tell his views, well not the positive ones though. I thought he would be thrilled to see the way I wrote, but he was on a totally other page. He reads through the first 'worambling' which I call it as it is a crude mid of words to sound like a poem which clearly doesn't. Well, that not hard to find out, and this person comes out with his view. Still not on the positive side yet. He then goes to another blog- this one. He continues through the firs few lines of my previous post where I have used some mind-twisting-no-sense-making-irrelevant-words. He surely gets confused about what he is reading as one of my commenter rightly mentioned all seemed pointless. He stops in the middle and unable to grasp a word I wrote and unclear of where it was headed, he skips to my another blog- the fiction one. He doesn't make much comments on it. Wait a minute, he does and advices me on the same. 

The Reader.

We have already named this person with the gadget he carries along with him most of the time solely for reading purposes. If I am not wrong, you could make out that gadget. So, this person happens to be sitting beside me ad inquires me about the blog, which I write and which I mentioned in some of the classes. I tell him and he goes to another link which also has a list of my blogs but its not exactly the place where my blogs solely exist. He goes through the photography page, though I haven' uploaded anything for say like four months. Then he goes to the poetry one, which doesn't seem so pleasing as well. I know, right? Later the other day I posted in my company blog space one of my woramblings just to see. He asks for it and I tell him to search my name in the search box because its had to find the link as it is hard to find but he uses his geek-y mind and makes his way to my post. Strange Life. Inspite of other little easy ones and better one(I guess) I go for this one for my first post. He sits besides me in the last as we are from the same batch. And we chat. The rest of the group members laugh seeing us chat while we still sit beside each other. Actually, we are using the technology and the resources provided to us to the extreme. I ask him jokingly whether he is fine after reading my post, He inquires about the dark side of the poem. I myself don't know and I reply the same. I think that the first and the last that he has read from my blog(s).

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Well, I need to come up with something interesting and appealing. Something which I never did before and that idea should be mine alone. So, setting a new trend. I see. I laugh at my insight and the way I am going with this thinking. Well, I need to blog frequently and make up for the time that I have been wasting doing nothing.