The K-Factor.

Who would have thought? Something as concealing as it can be and filled with a package of excellent goodies. A power-packed mind with a magnificent knowledge and unseen to the naked eye. Who would have thought? I would have. 

I always tell a friend that he is just too good for this company we are working in. I always knew he had potential and I am not lying. Ask anyone from my class, they would probably say the nicest thing they know. We sit side by side and we chat over the internet. Crazy, right ? And then I get busy doing nothing and he gets busy reading - Like Manga-Reader, some novel or a textbook from the the library. You assign him a task and he will get you what you asked for and also more. His mantra is always mysterious to me. He doesn't even look at the assigned task at the beginning. And when he starts, there is no stopping. While I might take a day or two or even more, he would do that on the same day and earlier. But he still works on it. And that is adding more. Look at that. I would be struggling to understand the question in the first place, while he would have finished and starts reading.

Highlight- SpotLight.

Your mind would blow, (in a appreciating kind of way). I mean seriously it would. We had a presentation today and that was the final presentation. As this is the Onam Season, we had a Cultural Program and later that we had our presentations. We were supposed to give the presentation and also the demonstration of the project, but due to lack of time we were told to give only the presentation. But what might be called as luck-bad or good, (bad for me, good for the others - that you will understand later). One of the faculty came by to inspect what we had done regarding the project. And my batch was in the hot seat. We started off the presentation and were suddenly stopped by the Stream Owner (the one who checks,inspects, etc) asks a question. What came to me as a shock was that he suddenly calls out my name and asks a question. And I didn't knew the answer. I was busy in my own tension and that came as a wake up call at the midnight and I was blank. But I told something which I don't myself know. (Feels like pointing a gun at my head and just pull the trigger). But as compared to the previous presentations, I think I did well, not as good, but manageable except that question. I know what people think, so I have been trying to get that out of my head and it seems impossible, somehow. Someone falsh the MIB flash which makes people forget things. Someone, anyone! Oh, no this this is not the highlight-spotlight. This is just the opposite of what happened. The real story begins now...

The Project to which we were assigned to has to be improved. We did most of the things. But we did some things which others didn't. Later this morning, this guy says that he wants to add something also. He adds it in no time, which was quite difficult or so other people said about it. My presentation part had this part and I introduced it as verbal introduction and when it came to his time to explain, he just swept everyone off their feet. Most of the things were not understandable by anyone, but he kept everyone intrigued and finally he just did an Awesome Job. And when I say awesome, it is (AWESOME)^infinity. Everyone was all praises and what else, he was too excited and was very happy about it. What more ? The Stream Owner even coined a name for him- Einstein. Well, Whatever I say would be less! Believe me, when I say it. I mean it. 

To conclude with, Mr. Einstein would be busy with some theories which just swing above my head. And a round of applause for this Genius. I am sure some day, he will be on the Google Doodle and may be he is one creating it. :D . I would have missed a great deal if he was in some other batch. 

Now the 'K' in K-Factor stands for Karthik. Also nick named as Kindle. And a recent name Einstein, wish it started with K. And a special thanks to him for being my batch-mate, or lets say, his batch-mate and a good friend/buddy/dude/pal who along with me just keep-cracking-jokes (I too am a part of that). Fun Times, I say. Real fun times.

- Chat Buddy / Batch-Mate / Friend / Pal / His-Blog-Follower / FAN.

The Idiot I am.

Some day last week : *Bangs the head to the table* *Bangs the head at whatever is in front of me*

Some other day last week : *Bangs the head on the table*

" Its' better to stay calm and be stupid, than speak and remove all the doubt"

So goes a line which I read somewhere. Exactly is the situation with me. So, I manage to make fun/fool of myself today completely. If there was any doubt till now, I just removed that. So, you get the gist right, I am Stupid. 

Let me take you to a week back. Now that you know I reached this place called Trivandrum, Kerala a.k.a God's Own Country. I wonder why they kept such a name. I mean seriously, Man; here the food is made from coconut oil and god knows who manages to eat it. Well, keeping aside the talk about food because its' just waste of time or lets say I don't want to. I would keep myself without eating rather than buying and leaving it again. My mom says eat whatever is available. But the hell!, nothing eatable is available here. When rice is sweetened by pineapple pieces there is no spice in the food as a matter of fact no salt sometimes. That was the scenario for the past week. This week we changed to the place for eating and this is far better than the previous location. 

So going back to the joining date : 4th June onward...

I reached Trivandrum on 3rd June. I was picked by my cousin brother. Where ever I go, I have someone or the other especially relatives. It is good in some aspects and not so good in other aspects. So, I thought of going to my room and checking in my room and then go back to their house. But, I being the less talker, my cousin bro did the talking and I went to their house with all that huge luggage. And I forgot to tell, my cousin sister had a daughter last week and what would be called? Uncle, right? So, I went to their home, saw the kid. She is cute and very small. I mean very very small. She was just 11 days by then. Getting back to me. I thought I could get back to my room, have some privacy and some Me-time as well. But, my bad. The next day I had to report by 0745hours at the office. After all the hush-hush, I start exactly at 0720 hours despite my knowing that the journey takes over 45 minutes. The car was fast and the traffic was minimal which helped me to reach on time which was exactly at 0800. I get into the line while my bro comments on looking at the line which had only girls. I too was shocked and wondered whether I was at the right place or not. Seriously, that was a pretty big queue. And I could't see any guy anywhere. But I didn't care so I didn't worry. I complete the formalities and next I am led into a seminar hall. As I entered, I was shocked to the core. The hall was filled with girls. But I acted as if I dint mind and went on casually. The thing that was bothering me was that I didn't arrange my documents and so I dint mind any of the other big shockers. 

A guy comes in and says that we get some time for breakfast. So, I get out first only to find that all the guys were in some other room opposite to the hall I was in. Then they collected Phase I of the documents. And they dint collect the remaining documents so far. The Next two days were similar while they killed us showing the boring videos. And there was a test on the second day of the joining which was used to test us obviously and the top 10% of the people i.e. 40 people would have the privilege to choose their stream. Me? Duh! I wasn't in the list. They dragged it to the third say as well and then they divided into batches and also gave the posting after the training, the base location. I got 2nd preference which was Bangalore. I was having mixed feeling at that tome. My parents were in Ahmedabad, which was where my dad got transferred recently. And my first preference was Ahmedabad. But unfortunately, my bad was at it peaks, so yeah, *sad face* and mixed crazy thoughts.

On fourth day, my training classes began. I thought what might happen in the starting classes. They will just explain about what they will be doing for the next 60 days. After the first period, I got a blow when a Business Skill faculty comes into the class and tell that we have to choose a quality and we will be paired up with another person who should not belong to the same gender or same college. That was a real hard thing to do. All the people were paired while I and other guy were remaining. And God, this guy kept on talking. You got the task right ? - Sir gave small cut outs on which there was a value or quality that a person has. There were like 50 something. The task was to speak about the partners' quality and the reason why he choose that value. I choose the value 'Helpfulness'. And I didn't think when I selected that value and I don't think I am that much helpful either. So, this guy choose Determination. So he tells about the Sir and his problem with communication and stage fear and ends up saying that he is determined to improve himself or somewhat like that. And he told me what I should be saying about him. So this Sir comes into the class and smiles at everybody and tells that we should smile at others more often and we should give a smile at other people irrespective of what they are or where they stand. And continues saying that all the people of this organisation were one big family. Sir : *Coughs*  and Looks around. and continues that he isn't much concerned about the other relations among the colleagues. 


*Continuing the draft. And didn't read what I wrote before this. So this may vary a bit and let be start afresh from the moment I stopped*


So, we were given a choice to choose a value and the other person has to speak about it. We went at the start after 3 people-pair. Firstly, everything I had to speak was in my mind and still I was shivering, I mean my legs were shaking. And to add to it the AC got just cooler and my hands froze like a dead meat. Though, I stored what I have to say in the cache memory thinking that I will remember everything, but I was too bound to forget what I was about to say. My partner told a lot of things of which many were irrelevant. I had to synchronize with his thoughts and also I had to pick up what I had to tell about. I am not that of a speaker, I mean like normally also I don't speak. What I was supposed to speak in front of the crowd with the thudding heart beating like a full volume bass / dobly music system while I try hard to recollect whatever was supposed to be spoken. I go there speak out while I am told to speak a little louder three times. Everybody say I speak in a low voice. But I feel like I am perfectly fine and audible to others. But I think I need to crosscheck the pitch of my voice. Anyways, after stumbling and after I had made a fool of myself, I end it while my colleague continues about me. I took the value Helpfullness. I didn't say anything about me. But he stitched it up with the key points I gave him. So! Whatever I thought it was finally over.


After two days, we had to give a presentation. While I came to my relatives home that weekend, my batch-mate tried something to develop the presentation. The presentation day finally arrived and we didn't even prepare a little bit. Only thing that I was in the fifth batch added some time in which we had got time to summarize what we had to say. I selected a part and was pretty confident that I will manage to get through it somehow. But when the time came, I forgot half of what I had to tell while I was already babbling about the things randomly with consistent breaks and jumps and flickering voice. I end up while my mouth was totally dry and I couldn't even conclude the sentence. But my colleague continued his part with total excellence and presented it effing awesomely that I was shocked at first and thought I was the center piece of being a idiot. 


I was petty much in shock while I tried hard to get out it. The next day there, when the day was about to end and I was sitting in the class thinking that there is nothing today that I should be afraid of especially that BizSkill class. But thoughts were drained down the flush and I did get a blow like a tornado. Three topics were written on the board and we were supposed to speak about it. If I was told to write about it, I might have rocked but speaking is totally not my area. But still I made up mind to say as if I was writing a blog - Like total nonsense and full of cr*p and s*it. So, I start there something like confident and tell everything that comes to my mind without even thinking what I was saying and I end the topic. But Sir says to continue. I was like, I spoke for a long time and still what else do I have to tell. I fumble and finally sit down when Sir says to the next person to continue. 


Ok, Fine. I clearly don't know why I wrote this. I am guessing you already know how much of an as* I am and there is nothing new to it. So, you get the gist right? The Idiot I am. 


I also analyzed about me and why I am such a, such an Idiot. The primary concern I found was my appearance. I don't think I look at all good. Not even close to okay. I am the odd one out and its the actual scenario. So, thats' one of the reason. And my flow of thoughts is not properly organized. I should get it right. And yeah, I think I might need to undego a Plastic Surgery or something like that. Thats' a joke, you got it right ? 

Time-Game.

Note : Skip down to the earlier post or wait for some time for another post. No! Not this. Another PP (Personal Post) and probably you won't gain anything but a waste of your time. 

A week more. I have been saying this for the past few days. Why ? Because then I don't have to worry by then, or so I think as of now. And then as I updated my status on Fb that I would be unleashing the wilderness of me, I shall definitely do that. But for now, I am worried sick. First reason My Project ! and the second reason the remaining lab exam. Though my friends would tell that there is nothing to worry and also might laugh as well. I actually don't post things like these probably lets' say I am superstitious, (Oh! Ya, I am). But my mind is kind of exploding in itself over and over again. The pas week wasn't good at all. Firstly someone loses my thing and don't even tell until I ask them to return. And boom! they lost it. May be its' easy for them to deal with such things. But not me! I am totally different and in most cases people won't have a clue about me. And I was like Banging my head over the wall, the table and everything that was in front of me. And the person who lost is a real serious genius about whom I will get back to you in my future posts. Oh! I sure have to mention the smartness and my bloody dumbness ! 

Time Game

A part of the project report was over by yesterday. But there were many too many mistakes which I realize obviously after I get back. So, I say to myself, *Beep* it, " Whatever is done, that's done and its final". Another part is left. I sure said one of my batch mate to do that part of the work. And I say that was pretty awesome. I had to do it all over again. Last night I started and calmed myself that its' not a big deal of a thing and I can complete it within an hour or so. Time was just past 12 last night. For Next one hour, I try to understand what was in the presentation that my batch mate made. I draw the conclusion on what needs to be changed which I came to know as the whole thing. So quirky did I get and along with me was Facebook. I try to ease my mind in the middle with it, still it didn't help, though. I got sleepy and haven't started what I intended to do. So, next thing I know I got a wake up call from my mom at around 7 in the morning. But still, I don't wake up. Next thing I know, its 9. So the time limit was set to 12 in the afternoon. I jolly-ed around for sometime with facebook, iPod(uploading photos) and looking at the wall unknowingly thinking about *void*(nothing). Well, I slowly started making the presentation. Time went past 12. "That was fast". Next time-limit was set to 3 ! I thought 3 hours. That would be more than enough. I start after lunch, gets pissed off, take a break, again get back to the work. And poof! , time was half past four ( my snack time) ! That was fast-fast (bullet-fast)! So, I set the next time limit to 6 ! I was pretty sure and determined to complete it by 6 ! But my determination was taken down and I lazily doze off trying to complete by 6. But no! My work never ends. Now, I was about to fix my time limit to 9, but then again I dropped it saying to myself that "It isn't helping me at all". I finally get to something near the completion and thats' it. "I can't do anything more !". That was a weird time game where I seldom changed the rules for my sake and still lost. And time was playing unfair as well. Its' not at all fair when seconds behave like minutes and minutes like hours.

 And now its half past twelve and I have to prepare/study for what I had done since last night for the presentation which is due tomorrow! I am pretty much out of order right now and my mind probably can't take anything. Thats' why I am posting this so that I can get over it and start the preparation. But now I feel sleepy! What happened to my Insomniac ability of mine ? 

P.S. : No, No. You didn't ! You did ? But why? I already warned in the beginning itself. Well, whatever! Sry for your time as I am for mine. Next Post then. :D

So far-Till Now.

It is over. Almost over. This is the last day of the year. Glad, I am still here to write this post. I feel it was just yesterday that I wrote a post claiming my new resolutions and a greetings about the new year. A year has passed by then. Does it feel like the same to me? Nah. Not even a bit. Its all mixed up, crazy doodly-voodly in my mind. What was this year all about? Yeah, there were some tough days. Were there? I don't remember. Am I getting forgetful? Oh, yeah! Sure I am. There were really crazy turn of events lately this year. Some gave me a fine solid blow. Do you want to know ? Well, I am all yours today. I will tell anything you ask. All that you have to do is ask. (I am laughing inside, hehe, because at the end of the day, No questions will be asked, I guess may be no one reads). Well, Whatever!

The first hit was a JOB. Oh, yeah! The job in the mighty TCS. Seriously, I didn't expect it, even a fraction of the minutest possible chance. Lets say for the sake of readers, I was lucky enough to get it. :) .  While the events which led to the possible conclusion of me ending into a job is quite obselete as I have already told in my previous post. Nevertheless the unseen has been seen. No-Can-Help over there. 

The second was self-immoralization. Yeah. I am quite bit of order right now. Once I used to keep track of things I used to to, now I am losing that track. And also, I used to remember what I used to do and at what time(not precisely though). But now I am a total blunder. The reasons are several and probably you all don't want to know. 

I came to know a bit more about the crazy people around me. I thought all couldn't be the same. Yeah, no one can be same. All are crazy F6's in their own way. Count me, if you think I am too. But if you ask me whether I am in it, No I am not in that list. Some are intelligent, very intelligent, more intelligent than you can ever imagine, but when they act like AH's, I sure can't handle it. Seriously, grow up. There is this person, who has nearly double IQ than me, or probably more, but when he asks the silliest question, I wonder is he playing with me or he really doesn't know. Later I understand that he doesn't know, when he doesn't understand after explaining it. And the thing that I find totally amazing is that he first 'googles' it before asking. Well, sure he is increasing his IQ over here. 

And there is one more thing I never wanted to tell. But what the hell? No one gives a SugerHoneyIcedTea. So do I (from now on). In the early month of August, I got a call. When I say I got a call, it is probably from a girl & no need to get excited because I wasn't. I remember the day because that was the day, when I had the worst thirty minutes of my life. Did I tell you about it.? NO, I didn't , right? Do you want to know? "NOOOOOooooooo".  No need to be so loud, I get you. But I am a crazy insane person. So will brief about it. I had to give a powerpoint presentation of the Industrial Training which we did in the Summer Vacation. And I was like dead, because the last thing I ever wanted to do was getting in front of a crowd and give a speech or presentation or whatever. I was stage-sick. I bunked classes for completing the presentation. I thought I prepared for the presentation. The moment came when I had to finally give the PPT. Firstly, the room in which we were didn't had a good projector. So I had to un-wire it because we came to know about its condition after I made all the connections. My Bad. I was already shivering by the time. Again, I make all the connections in the projector room and start it. The four terabyte memory just went blank. Hung up, I guess. No rebooting. Nothing. A part of the mind was still in tact. So I read all the presentation slides without even looking at the faculty or the students. And the worst part is that I was the first in the class to give a presentation. My Bad.  If there were atleast one person before me, it could have given me some kind of perspective of how to deal with it. But no. So I kept on murmuring till  completed the presentation dumb-faced. I also couldn't reply to most of the questions asked by the faculty. So totally, It was a blunder and a great disaster. You can't even imagine what I had done to escape this very moment. But something deep inside me said, You can do it. And yeah! "Oh, F, I did." And that was it. I thought no more. So where was I? Yeah, the girl. Firstly I thought it was a prank that some one was playing. It sure was a prank. But this had far wide limitations. Seriously, out of coverage imitations. As this person says that she has seen me in the college. Firstly, I was a bit shocked. My friends only don't notice me when I am around them. Then she claims to know my name and even my facebook. Obviously, if anyone knows my name, it is sufficient to find my facebook and also everything else. Now, look at the connection as of how this very person came to know my number. A guy from Computer Science seems to know me. Serious bullshit. Frankly, I know only three guys from CSE and that's it. I am in contact with only one of them. God only knows how the hell did this fourth person who happens to be a Junior came to know about my number. Firstly, I don't publicize my number in the public. And secondly, I hate pranks. I was very well convinced about this that it definitely is a prank. But wanted to know how far it goes. This was a short termed. So, there is nothing much to discuss about it. The only thing that still bothers me "How in the name of God, did they get my phone number?". And if anyone wants what exactly happened, I would be happy to tell. So, please drop it in the comment section. 

And I also wanted to tell that there are some people who think I am good, and some even think I am great and awesome. Seriously, don't believe it. I am exactly the opposite. I don't know what made you think like that, but I am not whatever you think I am. So again, where was I ? I was speaking about people. Yeah, frankly speaking I am fed up of the artificiality of the people and the preposterous acting skills. Damn, they are really good actors. I did try my best to look behind the masks, but like I said they are good. Some get caught at the wrong time and some never. Hmm, err.. Like I said, I am fed up of that. 

And another exciting thing that I did this year was the Night-Ride. I wrote about it in the Midnight Rampage. I agree with you that I didn't quite write well. And speaking of that night, it was awesome. Care for another ride? Hmm, may be. Not confident about it. 

And there are so many things that happened, I think. I don't remember any of those. Didn't I mention earlier that I am losing track of myself and forgetting things. This is one of it. Like everybody say, in this year there were many ups and downs, there were many mistakes that were done and some good things also. Learning from the mistakes and moving ahead, I would like to be prosperous in the year to come. Serious LOL!! Well, So far-till now. 

Take Care. And Happy New Year, Twenty-Twelve. :)

The Disaster.

A week ago I was totally in the state of tension for the coming week. TENSION? What for? I will come to it later. Firstly as the academic year started, I was in a constant state of tension till now. Starting with the fees to till date. A trade of complexity of life just overwhelmed me like anything. What is the matter with the fees? Well, about the fees as I have told earlier in the previous post was a disparity in my knowledge and the actual value. I had to run helter-skelter for that while it got solved. But it was that only thing. All the classes I was haunted by the thoughts of the same and I couldn't concentrate on the classes, as if I would have concentrated. At least I would have heard the classes with out any sort of burden on me. As it got a kind of solved, it took a week off. It here refers to the tension. 




Finally last week, it got a chance back again and struck right through me. I felt devasted as I am feeling now. This whole week I had been artificial. I could not laugh like normal. Last week I went to home with an elite plan. This plan I had since 10th grade. I tried implementing this plan over a 50 times. May be it might have reached 100 as I stopped counting. Well the point is that I couldn't implement my plan. And I had a Get-Together by my 12th grade friends hoping to meet one more before eloping with the jobs or higher education. I will write about it in another post. And frankly speaking I really couldn't enjoy because I had something else in my mind bothering. Later was the time for the plan. I think I made the point clear that the plan which I intended to work upon just failed. 


Now as my plan had failed, I was left with no other choice than to deal with it. Well, an unhealthy man needs an inspiration and positive motivation that he would get alright. A deranged person needs enlightenment. A jerk needs to learn moral values. Well, so I had to do something. The visions and the dreams which we have play an important role. These motivate and inspire us saying that the thing which you are about to deal with is a small thing only and it can be easily handled. So was the case with me also. This happened at night before the day I was to leave. I convinced myself to give it a try and try to make a beginning. Well it lasted for the night before I left for hostel from home. As I arrived at hostel, it was like a haunting ghost. I started with the process of creating the presentation slides. As days grew nearer and nearer, the light which I had ignited the spark. Well actually, that spark didn't last for even a day. I also had to submit the report in addition to the presentation. Well, the report was getting disastrous each day. I almost got the whole lot of the A4 pages. It's a pretty mess. Finally I was done with the report and was left with a mess of papers. Cutting the story short, finally the day arrived and as usual I was pretty tensed. I had been expecting this day since a week. But this day wasn't my day. As the seconds turned to minutes, minutes turned to hours, the time finally arrived. Just before I had the presantation seminar, I had to submit the report. I was pretty frustrated and kind of out of my mind sort of thing. The actual procedure was that on each day of the lab, Every five members have to give the seminar, which is on the Industrial Training which was supposed o be done by the students during the summer break. Unfortunately, there were only two who were giving the seminar. Of which myself bearing the freaking roll no.1, I was one of them in the first. Luckily for the other guys they took the permission. They just escaped intimating that they would give their presentation in one of the coming weeks. This left me the only one to give the presentation. But fortunately, a friend of mine volunteered to give his seminar on the same day as mine, as he had some exam on his seminar day. This left with only two guys to give the seminar. As I was in a 'out-of-mind'  state, I told my friend that we will also give the presentation next week. So, as I went to the concerned teacher to submit the report he told the same thing I told. But the madam was quite mad at that and we were left with no other choice than to give the seminar. 


With minor problems and also tackling them, the final moment came. That moment made me forget everything. Everything. Everything that I had prepared for the seminar. So I started with reading the presentation slides and with steady interruption of questioning and awkward feeling of mine while I wasn't able to answer the questions and the look of the teachers. I continued reading the slides, which when I was reading also I felt a kind of guilty or say shame or say (anything you like,) when I was pointed out that I was reading them rather than explaining them. I was quite embarrassed. Totally Embarrassed. I know that there is no escape from that. So, it was a big Disaster. Now, I feel like (I don't know,/okay lets say I don't know how to put the words/ or may be I don't know the words for such kind of a feeling) devastated. "__________ __________ __________ __________ __________ __________ __________". I don't know what I should write in those spaces. I feel like _________. Sorry, don't know again. DAMN. I can't write any more. If I do it would be very inappropriate. So, excuse me. I will catch up later with myself. I myself don't know where I am wandering. 


P.S. I don't why I wrote this. I just felt like writing. And I know that most of my friends would be thinking what an 'a_h_ 'I am. And though they would be calling me with more inappropriate word than calling me 'jerk'. By the was I am sorry, I've no idea what I am writing.