An Apocalypse.

Concealed beneath those grayish-blue eyes is a life long agony, a misery hidden , making a void in the vastness.  She can't hide. She can't run. At the end of the day she cries to death. She isn't weak. They have made her weak. But still she isn't weak. She fights every single day. For herself, for the people who still believe in her. 

She might not know but she is an inspiration to a lot of people. She seeks justice. She doesn't fear death. She just wants equality. A place for the kind of her. The society has annihilated them , media has flaunted them as helpless souls who thought that these people need sympathy. A place where they can be normal. Normal ? You say. How can anyone be normal? When I can't even forget a white lie that I told to save my ass, which bothers me every single day. How can a traumatic incident be forgotten over a few weeks or months or years?

They left a scar, that can never be removed. A scar that reminds of the horror past. A scar that, in a way makes her possible to live every single day. That is a constant reminder of her past that the world isn't safe. The safest places aren't safer any longer. That the people who were once dear to you now stay a million miles away. She did not make a mistake. She was perfect in her own way. She is a successful woman. Yet, the society sees her a little different. Because she is a she, a woman. When the nation bloats about equality, one shouldn't get excited about what a great nation we have. It is like a myth. No, women aren't denied anything. But there are places where people have the same mentality that people are discriminated on the basis of gender. That woman are supposed to be attached to the kitchen and do the chores. 

When will that discrimination stop? When will the atrocities on women stop? Women aren't weak. Just that they weren't given a chance to prove themselves. And now that caterpillar is finally breaking out of the cocoon and the society treats her like she doesn't even belong here. And to the men who take advantage, what kind of a beast are you? 

_____________________________ 

There is an unseen apocalypse on the rise. The human mind. Though it hasn't infected the major lot of people, but it sure is spreading. 

Now lets take a step into history and see what history has taught us. There are these three monkeys of Mahatma Gandhi which depict the nonviolent way of living. These as we all   of us know are "Don't see bad", "Don't speak bad", "Don't hear bad". The non violent way of living. Easy , isn't it? So what's happens when something really bad is happening and someone is really getting hurt. Should we just close our eyes , close our ears and do nothing while the people do whatever they want to do.. What about the third one ? Oh, we do speak bad don't we. There is this media in the name of whatever-that-is-called just takes out the best bad in anything. I don't see whether they are praising or seeking justice.  

Our politics is corrupt. No doubt. The whole justice system is corrupt.  No doubt. We as people try to find justice in this half baked society where everything feels so wrong, even fighting for justice. It feels like a crime to voice out our opinions while the culprits have it their way enjoying the freedom that this democratic country have bestowed upon us. They walk away, the culprits while the people fighting for the same justice go behind bars. Because they voiced their opinion? Because they are criticizing the whole political system? Because they are blaming the whole justice system? The candle marches, the reforms to the safety of women for the betterment of the women go in vain when they are held more often. 

Lets keep aside the justice seeking and justice giving ideologies aside for a moment. And lets speak about the people. Like I said, an apocalypse. I thought that the people who are responsible for any heinous act against women were uneducated people, that they had no knowledge of how to respect a women, how to live in a society. But I was wrong. I knew I was wrong. I wanted to blame that on something. But lets stop the blaming game for a moment and see what's really bothering the society. Educated or uneducated - The same things happen. People are just out-of-their-minds. The other day someone shared something related to the rapes that are happening in India. I didn't see the photo but a guy in my room was sowing the other guy and talking about it. So the picture was like even if the girl is fully dressed or naked, she shouldn't be violated. So what happens is that this guy laughs and says if a girl is naked how can anyone control themselves? THAT. That thinking is the apocalypse that I was talking about. No matter how educated one is, there is still that thinking that is corrupting the minds of people. Is it really a reason? How can one control themselves? Seriously, what is wrong with people. If you don't know how to control, learn to control or just die.

How can anyone even think like that? And that thoughts that revolve around in the minds of thousands other people saddens me. How can this thing, this apocalypse that is spreading like a wildfire be stopped? How can one man, or even a million men bring a change in the thinking when they don't even care to listen? I have lost hope. In a couple of years, I would still be furious and angry at the people probably writing this same thing, but change, the change in that thinking, that I so wish to see would never happen. Is there a way, writing this could change the thinking of people? Then I would be writing every hour of the day. But, there are people like me, writing for a cause, for a change. And there are people who are struggling each day to see that change happen, working on a noble cause. But I don't see it. I don't see the change at all. Is there a simple way, or even the hard way to stop that thinking process, that apocalypse? 

Change.

Source

Uprooted Morals,

Exploit and disgrace. Change 

The Humanity's plea. 

This Haiku is written for 'Haiku Heights : April A2Z Heights Day 24' for the prompt 'Uproot'.

Time Passing.

So, Lately I have been coughing all day. And last time I tried to explain that, I was terribly on an entirely different planet. So here... 

Dying of Cough

Well, I had stacked my writing book with all sorts of topics. But that's it. I am adding lines after lines on each page. My book is completely filled with topics but all empty pages. And the weird part is that I can't seem to fill those empty spaces since long. I have been trying, but it just isn't happening. Either it was mindless talk, I used to keep writing. But now, I try to reason, but no answers. May be I don't want to waste my ink in the Parker Pen. Oh, with Parker Pen, I remember something. Back in those days, before I did Engineering, I started collecting the Parker Pens. Well, what can I say. They are smooth and look sexy. You can't deny that. So, I collected three little costly for me pens because my friends were happy with their two bucks pen, while I would be flashing my arrow shaped cap holder on the pen on the shirt. But I never used the Pen. Well, it is costly and yeah I didn't wanted to waste the ink. I locked them up in my drawer and kept it there for the next couple of years. Until the day I started blogging. So, I took out those pens and started writing a diary. Sometimes, I started taking to college. And then to office. Until one fine day, a friend borrows it. I asked him at the end of the day to which he replied I think I lost it. SoB. Lost it ? I couldn't ask him for another pen. How can I? Well, at least he should have the courtesy of making the wrong a right. But I guess, he thought it was just a Pen. I swore at him for the entire night. Believe me, that scene in my mind is not pretty at all. Umm.. Ok. You lost a pen. Sorry, a Parker Pen. So what? And now, why are you bringing it up? Are you really out of topics? I thought you just said that your book is filled with topics. Did I hear wrong or were you just lying about all that? Pick one dude. Don't kill the innocent people with ..umm... a PEN. 

Dear Mindless Talkers, 

I never understood why I didn't sit with you when were discussing the world problem(s) like the dress of a girl you saw at IPL, or when you were fighting over your favorite actors or whatever bulls#it you talked about. I am way too glad I never participated in your debates. Now, about the situation in hand - "What's wrong with you guys?" You don't like something. Okay, fine. You just don't have to shout in snooze mode for the entire day. Now the concerning issue. I am here writing about changing society, the way the society should act for the greater good, and keeping in mind the recent incidents on women. I am head over heels trying and a little bit agitated with the state of the society and most importantly, its thinking. But I seems to have failed myself in every step. The roots are here with the people sitting beside me. I am unable to incubate some sense into their petty minds. Come on, please don't judge a person by what they wear. And please don't throw remarks. You don't know a thing about them, so you got no right to say anything, you piece of shit. Either you stop whatever you think you are doing, else I will have to make you stop you. And no, I am not a kind of person who would indulge in beating the crap of others, but lately I have been feeling the ting to start doing that, courtesy of you guys. 

Seriously Pissed, 

The Guy in Your Room.

___________________________

In other news : TGIM. 

TGIM : Thank God, It's Monday. 

Well, I know what you are thinking. You might be thinking that I am happy because its' Monday. I am so sorry to disappoint you. This pic was supposed to be posted on Friday, titled under "Thank God It's Friday". Since I didn't and was busy doing basically nothing so am posting now because Friday again seems to be at week's length. And this was too good to be left out hanging there for a week. So, I decided to change and Post it on Monday. Anyways, The picture is perfect, innit? Well, not for me. But put your face there. Now, that's Picture Perfect. I know you guys are really happy for Monday, but you put up a face like you hate Monday. I know I am right about this. And I won't believe if you guys denied the fact. 

The Change.

Yesterday I along with my friends were involved in a heated conversation. It was rather an alarming topic that we were discussing about. It all started with a small incident. We were to go to office yesterday and it was a new building with took a lot of time to travel than the previous location. And since we were new there we didn't had any access into the building/floor. The concerned party has to swipe their ID Card to allow us to make an entry. Some of the people were already inside and later some other came, but since they too were just like us without the access were standing outside. My friend(lets call him GH) being generous tried asking the other people who could open the door for the people to come in. But some other person had already initiated the process before him. He come back to us and says, We should give back to the society. I burst out laughing for a short while and reply Is this what you think giving back to the society is ? 

The meeting/training concluded in a couple of hours. But the training session was much less than the time it took us to get there. Yeah! That Far! It was almost lunch time, but not the exact time. In the meanwhile we took a cup of coffee each. We were three of us.  After a little while, they were hungry and ordered something to eat. While they were at it, the topic of Giving back to the Society came back. I have no idea where that came from. Actually I mentioned this phrase to my friend a long back. Let me recap that.

I was home for almost near to a month for Christmas and New Year with out applying any leave at office. And I had to return back because of the sudden meeting taking place at office. So the next day I came, there was a meeting - A meeting the progress we had been doing or what we have been doing so far. The truth - We were doing Nothing. We are famously called as the Bench-Guys (those who aren't given any project so far, due to less number of projects available). Some of us go to office daily to report, some once in a week, some once a month. But at the end of the month, everyone gets the salary. That's pretty cool actually. So, at the meeting, the Person in-charge inquires us about what we have been doing? And there is a company initiative which is mainly for the fitness of the employees - FIt4Life. That is a great initiative and the company would contribute Rs.10/- for each kilometer we run. And that too not from out salary. I have been a regular participant to that initiation. So, when he asked about that, he was not happy when there were only a few people taking part in it. And he inquired further as of what we have been doing sitting in room and in what way we were contributing back to the society? That day, my friend was absent to that meeting as he was still at home. 

Now, we were discussing about it. We three people sitting for lunch, discussing about the Society-Changing techniques. He came to the topic of Trusts where we donate the money to them and they take care of the people/children like their education and other basic needs. And there was a long discussion among us where one supports and the other denies. There was a question Would you donate to the trusts? Another friend (Lets' call him PL) of mine objected that idea and said that they make profit in the name of the trusts. Though, they use a little  part of the money for the welfare or whatever but still a large amount of money still goes into their pockets. He further extended his point by saying that mostly rich people donate huge amounts of money to the trusts and most of it is Black Money. 

The main intention of my friend(GH) was to be helpful and contribute  a little back to the society. But the truth, the society isn't good to us that same way we are to it. There is a specific element called 'Human' who controls almost everything here around. And there is another element called Greed. Human is a greedy social animal. Even though he may be earning a lot of money, the greed never ceases to decrease. May be after everything has happened or one becomes old, and banks filled with millions of 100 dollar bills, may be then, he will try to be generous. I am not saying that everybody is the same that way. There are a lot of people who are not greedy without having anything for themselves. But the usual tendency of human is to be more rich, ow every single thing. Though he may be very good or loyal at the first, as time proceeds there is still a possibility of he becoming the victim of greed. 

It doesn't take just one person. Every other person has to contribute. If you try to be good, and you happen to be the only good person and the rest the same, old, selfish, greedy people, you would probably be devastated as they would exploit the very goodness of the nice people. "This has to Change!" GH said. The Society has to change. If a person doesn't care to help the people in need, it is an alarming question as to where we are heading, to where the Humanity is headed to and what might be the future. My friend, GH was with the notion that when he could be good and contribute a little to the society, so can the million other people around the world. But what he missed was that People are not the same everywhere. I may be good, you may be good, not all are good. Else why in the god's name would the largest democracy has so many problems - financially, politically, religiously, etc etc ways. Because the root of it all is the human, who in-spite of having sufficient for himself still wants more (this is intended to the people who fall in that category). We are not satisfied with what we have. Now, this happens....

We were walking back to the bus stop discussing about how deep is the Society and how much has to be changed. There is a Coconut Shop where people usually drink Coconut water under the hot Sun. We have been there for three times, including this time as well. The first time, when we all drank the coconut water, the kind vendor offered my friend PL, another coconut to drink its water since the earlier one didn't had sufficient water in it. And he did't charge anything more to that. Day before yesterday, he offered me another one for the same reason. And again didn't charge anything. So, my friend GH says that you two people got an extra one. Next time, may be I will get another one. So, what happened yesterday was that, we did exactly what we usually do. But my friend GH after having his share says to the vendor that it didn't had enough water hoping to get another one. But he wasn't given one. And this very friend was the brains behind the thought The Society has to Change. I was laughing uncontrollably and pointing finger at him saying that "This is Human Tendency". Though he may have sufficient, we still want more. Though my friend refused to take another one immediately. But the thought is important here. And he was speaking about changing the society. Since, Human is such whose wishes never fulfill and even they are fulfilled, there is always new on the list. 

So, I wonder if ever we could see a world free from any of that S#it. I know its a distant dream and Yeah! I also know that it is not possible for a single person to be good and expect others to be nice as well, which is simply not possible even in dreams. 

The Society has to change. The People have to change and that has to be done from the Scratch. Well, Bring on the Apocalypse. Or Armageddon, may be. 

"Be Nice. But Don't expect others to be the same." 

- Ajay Kontham [ 2013 ]

Old Habits Die Hard.

There is void, empty spaces in the heart. The severity of human patience , sympathy, caring have bound the little fore walls of the heart. Clenched and it makes the heart heavy.

The memories fade as time passes by. But some don't. I look outside the window of my room. The clouds drifting apart, losing the nicely formed white cloud of some shape. The vehicles passing by. I ponder. I think. I wonder whether this would ever stop. Well, then life would cease to exist, won't it?

Life is a never ending journey. I don't know how many times I used this sentence. We come by a lot of people. The empty void spaces are filled with happiness, sadness love and care. The heart is fulfilled and enjoys its very state, or just burdens itself with the pain. The empty spaces are created again. But the cherished memories/moments will be remembered for ever. Life is too short to think otherwise.

A Hard Reality

I've never been happy with the way my life is and how it is going to be. The future is uncertain but its predicable, though not always. It tells me to learn from the experiences and be a better man. The question  : Am I not a better man, now?  No. I wish I were.

I am in a constant battle in my head. Trying to figure out what's right, what's wrong? The result of the tiny battle is undisclosed, though it stays in front of my eyes. But whereever I end, it's exactly the wrong choice. Life goes on, but I am still stuck here - Analyzing and rebuilding. But it goes wrong. My mind says, Eff it. And I leave it. 

I ponder over the lost moments and time. I feel I could have done more, done better. But again reality strikes me and asks me in hell raging voice "WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW?". I search for answers. After a lot of time, I then realize I was doing the wrong thing searching for the answers to which the question is so unclear, for it wasn't a question at all in the first place. My mind says, "Eff, man". 

I realize the question was the motivation for me to do, not find. It meant work, not fooling around. It meant realization, not constipation. I now feel time was left a long time back and I am still at the station waiting for something, something to pick me up. From somewhere unknown I hear a voice saying, "You are still doing it wrong!" Old habits die hard. I was still sitting there analyzing what went wrong and where & what did I do wrong. 

Then It struck me. I was just sitting. I was thinking. I wasn't thinking 'right'. I was wondering. I wasn't channeling the thoughts properly. I wasn't working. I was't DOING. I stand up and realize, its' time to Do. It is never too late to start afresh. Now, I walk the empty roads. Roads, which lead to different distinct destinations. Now, I find myself lost. 

"What's my destination? "

Old Habits Die Hard. 

I again sit down and think. I don't think right.

-  Ajay Kontham [2013]

P.S. : I thought for a long time about the title of this post. Many came up. My Insanity , Wrongly, Right, bla bla. So, at last I did select a weird one.

Should I Change ?

Disclaimer : A Personal Post. I say, Skip it. Also skip the words which are struck like this, just in case you come by them.

The time is 3'o clock and I am still up. Well, if you don't know about me, I am an Insomniac. And I also have a reason today for being up which will be mentioned in the later pat of this post. Unless there is an exam tomorrow, I never sleep, well most of the times. But when there is an exam the very next day, I get dizzy and my eyes start closing without any effort an hour before the strike of twelve. The next thing I know its' 8 in the morning. I say, 'm s-c-r-e-w-e-d. But today is like any other day but a little different. The phase I of examinations are over. Phase II is remaining and that takes place a week from now. Then I am completely done with exams and my Engineering as well. 

The previous day during my usual meeting with my friends at the hostel canteen for snacks after the end of the exam, a friend of mine commented on the next days' exam (todays' exam) that "Tomorrow will be the end of writing stories in the exam paper". I replied back," When did you ever do that?". I hope you get my reply. NO? Okay. For the seventh and eighth graders, it means that he never writes stories in his exam paper. He studies well and writes to the point.

So my exam was as usual in the afternoon and got over within two hours time. But I stayed for another 45 minutes doing nothing but looking out of the window. Everything was going well. I even had a very nice dinner outside. I came back to my room. So I ask my classmate to whom I had lent my 16 freaking GB Pen Drive which had photos of the recent get-together and the last working day of my college. I didn't tell about those events in my blog, right? I shall do it asap.  So, I get a reply that it was lost. I was like "wth" and "wtf" at the same time. And I just happened to open the Dairy Milk Cabdury and just started eating it when I choked on seeing the reply. Thats' not funny at all! Really not at all funny. That pen drive had the updated project report and also the awesome tag which I had been saving for years. The person also claimed to get me a new one. And also says that it wasn't her fault. I am shocked when that message popped up in the google chat. WHAT!? Not your fault ? A week more and I thought I would have nothing to do with any of my classmates except a few. Not this situation pops up. I don't know what to reply. Well, thats' what happens when people take you for granted. Seriously! This isn't the first time something like this has happened with the same person. I now know that the problem is not the person. The problem is Me and Just ME. I don't get these people at all. I try to be NICE and just NICE and this is the reward for being Nice. Well, I don't whether people change or not, I will try to. Because it is Me at the end of the Road and Just Me who would have to deal with the loss. "I like my things dearly" because they are my freaking things and I shall love it till the end for they are entirely mine. And when I lend it to some one that means that I gave a thing which I consider dearly just because they also need it for the time being. And also 'I consider other's person much more dearly' not because I like them or want them. It is just that I understand that they like their things the same way I do. So, I need to be careful and extra cautious when it comes to other's things. Why don't people understand this? 

"You know you are screwed , when you are SCREWED"!

I don't know what exactly I need to say to them. Don't they know that? Seriously, don't they ? So, Should I need to change? And stop lending things and helping others because it hurts me more than it helps others ?

And if you don't know, I can be a critic regarding the people as well and I write about them what I feel. I used to do it by keeping the names anonymously but when I get frustrated about them, I get really insane. People would also sue me, someday! But the bottom line is that I speak what I know. And I wanted to leave this habit of mine. I say, Its' not good or kind. It is just cursing and cursing all over again. And I need to stop that. But, this incident makes me ponder over my decision! So, I decide that I shall write and I shall keep them anonymously and if they know its about them they know else they don't. 

Were you asking me,"Why I am awake at this hour of the night?" . This just happens to be another reason (read excuse) for today. By the way, the time is quarter to four in the morning. 

An Intended Change.

I have made a list of topics which I want to write. I know, I should have written then by now. But, just because I made a list, it becomes much more harder for me to write upon them. I know, its kinda funny. But, I can't help it. The best way to write is to not to select a topic. So all my upcoming posts will be changed. It will never be the same. I have been Insane. I know. My insanity shouldn't lead to a conclusion that I am totally insane. I will prove that I am insane and will also try to prove that I'm not, at the same time. So I am thinking of changing the performa of my blog. Totally. I will be including some things which I haven't seen and imagined. And these are the most common things happening in the world. Well, its a start. Don't actually know where it may lead. I would be glad if I succeeded in writing perfectly, well if not perfectly, at least fine. So, the upcoming posts will be random and totally imaginary. Though I created a blog especially for this. But what can I say, I don't actually know what to say. Well, now I get it. I will start over here and will continue over there when I think that I am faring well in my new dimension. 




I call it the advancement of Insanity. Never mind if you don't read or read. I don't really care now. I used to. I used to wait for the people to comment. I used to wait for the people to read what I had written. I am getting over it. I am no more the same guy which I used to be. Now I am feeling like I am the "ROCKSTAR" when I am writing. And hell with the people who criticize. Who told them to read? And one more thing, I am not forcing you to read any of my posts. So you would be much happy if you left it in the early phase, else you would end up with a severe head-ache. That was a head's up. Just that you know.





Hmm, this was a quick post. There will be much more. And one last thing to all this, that I am changing the topics of the upcoming posts to totally random and rather insane topics doesn't mean that I am leaving the earlier non-sensual which I had been writing for the past three year (approx) . NO. Not at all. This new venture, what I it, is just like an added bonus to the people who are trying to waste (my apologies) spend time over here. Let's see if they like the newness with the insanity of not. And don't forget there is always a comment section over here. When I am writing insane, probably I would be getting much insane comments. And yeah, I am actually ready for all those. Bring it on. 



Regards
The Writer

Dear Readers ...

Dear Readers,

I am back. I had been a sort of busy with the exams. Though, they were completed a week ago, but I had been too much obsessed with the after-effect of these exams. God, it was like hell. The whole week of the calcareous insufficiency of time and exploitation of human brain. I actually wanted to write at length about it, but later called it off. I actually don’t want to remember that horrible week again. I actually don’t know what exams are for. Are they for testing our caliber and how well we know the subject and how well we can manage the knowledge we gained through it. If it is so, then they could have made the paper easy for testing the depth of the subject. Instead, they make it tough like they are preparing to fail all people. Secondly, they test our ability to make decisions under pressure. The syllabus is vast like the  ocean and the time is too little. It feels as if someone puts a gun at the head and tells to study. The ticking clock is the gun here. I look at the clock, it moves too fast as usual but it sure imbibes in me another new element called “Tension”. Damn, it is horrible to study under pressure and the newly added tension. The tension in mind that the syllabus can’t be completed on time. And to add to the new element just found are the previous papers. They are like counting stars in the sunny morning. Where do they get all those questions from?  I sometimes wonder what if I give the toughest paper ever with the least known questions to the students to the people who prepare the paper and give them a half-day to study. How would they write? They know everything, so they could write everything perfectly. But do they know everything?

Anyways, the exams are over. And the college was to begin immediately after the day of the exam. But, as a known fact no one turned up to college. But what was more to think was that they didn’t turn even after a week and some are enjoying with the self-declared holiday. And about me, I am a little worried about the consequences of bunking. We already got quite a good blow in the previous semester when all the students bunked. I just hope that it doesn’t happen like that. Well, coming to me now. Why hadn’t I been writing even after a week’s break? I reason is what I mentioned earlier. Adding to it, when I am at home, I surely can’t think anything when I am obsessed with TV and internet 24x7 hours. What about sleep? I don’t remember when I sleep, but I know that I sleep the least unlike during exams. I don’t know what happens during exams. Instead of my various activities to keep me alive the whole night, I tend to fail to study as well as keel me awake up the whole night though I really want to stay.

Leaving about it, next up is about my blog. Yeah, I planned a lot of things pre-exams. But, I am finding it a bit difficult in merging with my thoughts. I am thinking of changing the writing procedure and including new things for you dear readers. Please drop by your comments if there is any difficulty in reading due to the theme with which I dressed my blog, thinking that it looks good. May it’s just my opinion. So, if in case there is any difficulty in reading due to the contrast or anything, please feel free to drop by your suggestions.

I would like to thank all the new followers and my readers who take their time to read my posts. Thanks a ton. I would like to keep up the traffic and would try fascinating you with my new posts. So, keep reading and don’t forget to drop by your valuable comments. Now leaving you to continue with your daily chores, I am signing off. And as I mentioned earlier, I am changing the outlook of my blog. SO, I would be adding some puzzles, trivia or anything similar so that even if you get bored by the content above, may be you could survive with the ending lines of my blog. So, enjoy reading if you could. And today’s puzzle:

PUZZLE #1:

Three friends divided some bullets equally. After all of them shot 4 bullets the total number of bullets remaining is equal to the bullets each had after division. Find the original number divided.

Note: Answer will be written in the next consecutive blog. Please try your hand at the puzzle.

P.S.  :: Thanks for your time to read my post. If you have any suggestions regarding any changes to be me made, please drop your suggestions in the comment box below. Thank you.