Should I Change ?

Disclaimer : A Personal Post. I say, Skip it. Also skip the words which are struck like this, just in case you come by them.

The time is 3'o clock and I am still up. Well, if you don't know about me, I am an Insomniac. And I also have a reason today for being up which will be mentioned in the later pat of this post. Unless there is an exam tomorrow, I never sleep, well most of the times. But when there is an exam the very next day, I get dizzy and my eyes start closing without any effort an hour before the strike of twelve. The next thing I know its' 8 in the morning. I say, 'm s-c-r-e-w-e-d. But today is like any other day but a little different. The phase I of examinations are over. Phase II is remaining and that takes place a week from now. Then I am completely done with exams and my Engineering as well. 

The previous day during my usual meeting with my friends at the hostel canteen for snacks after the end of the exam, a friend of mine commented on the next days' exam (todays' exam) that "Tomorrow will be the end of writing stories in the exam paper". I replied back," When did you ever do that?". I hope you get my reply. NO? Okay. For the seventh and eighth graders, it means that he never writes stories in his exam paper. He studies well and writes to the point.

So my exam was as usual in the afternoon and got over within two hours time. But I stayed for another 45 minutes doing nothing but looking out of the window. Everything was going well. I even had a very nice dinner outside. I came back to my room. So I ask my classmate to whom I had lent my 16 freaking GB Pen Drive which had photos of the recent get-together and the last working day of my college. I didn't tell about those events in my blog, right? I shall do it asap.  So, I get a reply that it was lost. I was like "wth" and "wtf" at the same time. And I just happened to open the Dairy Milk Cabdury and just started eating it when I choked on seeing the reply. Thats' not funny at all! Really not at all funny. That pen drive had the updated project report and also the awesome tag which I had been saving for years. The person also claimed to get me a new one. And also says that it wasn't her fault. I am shocked when that message popped up in the google chat. WHAT!? Not your fault ? A week more and I thought I would have nothing to do with any of my classmates except a few. Not this situation pops up. I don't know what to reply. Well, thats' what happens when people take you for granted. Seriously! This isn't the first time something like this has happened with the same person. I now know that the problem is not the person. The problem is Me and Just ME. I don't get these people at all. I try to be NICE and just NICE and this is the reward for being Nice. Well, I don't whether people change or not, I will try to. Because it is Me at the end of the Road and Just Me who would have to deal with the loss. "I like my things dearly" because they are my freaking things and I shall love it till the end for they are entirely mine. And when I lend it to some one that means that I gave a thing which I consider dearly just because they also need it for the time being. And also 'I consider other's person much more dearly' not because I like them or want them. It is just that I understand that they like their things the same way I do. So, I need to be careful and extra cautious when it comes to other's things. Why don't people understand this? 

"You know you are screwed , when you are SCREWED"!

I don't know what exactly I need to say to them. Don't they know that? Seriously, don't they ? So, Should I need to change? And stop lending things and helping others because it hurts me more than it helps others ?

And if you don't know, I can be a critic regarding the people as well and I write about them what I feel. I used to do it by keeping the names anonymously but when I get frustrated about them, I get really insane. People would also sue me, someday! But the bottom line is that I speak what I know. And I wanted to leave this habit of mine. I say, Its' not good or kind. It is just cursing and cursing all over again. And I need to stop that. But, this incident makes me ponder over my decision! So, I decide that I shall write and I shall keep them anonymously and if they know its about them they know else they don't. 

Were you asking me,"Why I am awake at this hour of the night?" . This just happens to be another reason (read excuse) for today. By the way, the time is quarter to four in the morning.