Yesterday. #Z2AChallenge

"Today is the tomorrow, you dreamed of yesterday".

- ak

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Dear Yesterday, 

I don't know where to begin. Let me start by saying this that I am glad to have outlived you. Oh, I am sorry, I am terribly sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. But everyone told me to move on, that there is always a tomorrow and and that the grass will be greener, the birds a little chirpier, the sun a little warm, the wind a little more pleasant and all those good things which were supposed to happen will happen.  I just floated in the boat that everyone so happily jumped into. I was glad I did because I felt that there was still some hope. Well, that's what everybody kept telling me. I just felt that it will take its course and that sharp turn in the stream will be a turning point for me.

Oh, come on now, please stop crying. What I actually meant to say is I miss you. There you go, I see a smile somewhere there. Thats' better. I will admit it, I really miss you. I wasn't looking forward for a brand new day. You see they lied. That sharp turn which I thought would be a turning point, turns out it was. No wait, hear me out. It turned me upside down and I am, off the course completely lost right now. You know how difficult it is to keep in lieu of the new days, the todays, the tomorrows. These days are so uncertain that I sometimes even have nightmares. Believe me, I have had sleepless nights about what the new day would bring to the table.

So, before anyone would put forth their idea of what an incredibly great today and a great life they are living and how each day is a bliss, I would agree with you too because I believe you. It's your life and you have a right to have an opinion on your life, however splendid or otherwise it may be. You like it, you are happy about it and it's all that matters. So, you will be looking forward to your wonderful today and a even better tomorrow. But there are some rotten tomatoes. 

The problem with yesterday is that people discard it as something we can't do anything about. Some leave it with great memories, while some with bitter. "It was in the past"... "It happened a long time ago", "It was a bad day" - We have either learned to just forget about it. Or better, learn from the past. I would really want to take the latter one into limelight. 

Learn from the past, is something every one us do. First of all, we are not an experts at knowing what life is, what we are supposed to do and what our actions will lead us to. There is no rulebook, per say. It is basically a trail and error method. So, when people say learn from the past, its' basically that each bitter experience gives us something to learn and use the so gained experience to avoid any such in the future, the today and the tomorrows to come. Of all the yesterday(s), this is the only good thing I see. Well, there are memories too. Memories are cherished always. Th bitter ones are the experience, the better ones are something we talk about over coffee tables (or tea ifyou are a tea person) or tell it to the grandkids.

Tomorrow (why bother) : I will do this. I will do that.

Yesterday (why bother) : I should have done this. I should have done that.

Today (why bother) : I am doing this and also that.

We see a difference in the tone, don't we? So what does yesterday offer us? A chance to learn, a chance to remember the good, a chance to improve ourselves, a chance to be a better person. So, take a cue and take that shot at being that better person you had always wished to be.

Every today will a yesterday and the power is to you. The power to make that today, this day the best, so you can have a better yesterday. Tomorrow is a bit far and lets not dwell too much into the future. But today is passing by. Look around. Let it sink in and feel the air. Live in the moment as you feel the symphony of your breaths. Enjoy and get busy living.

So, dear yesterday, I haven't forgotten you yet. Remember I said I really miss you. That's because, I wanted to be a part of you, I still do, everyday. Just you and me, in the yesterday. Hopefully, one day we will meet and stay together for eternity, until we are completely forgotten.

Until that yesterday.

Yours' truly
ak

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There is a world that rhymes when you sing.

- ak

#Z2AChallenge , because I can spell the alphabets in reverse!

9 Day Streak.

Day 23, Thursday

Things you've learned that school won't teach you

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The things that I was so intelligent to  learn on my own that school was unable to teach me? Let me point out one thing when I am on this topic. School has taught me a lot of things. But the thing that I don't use half of it, or should I say anything at all is another story altogether. So, what have I learned on my own? Frankly speaking, I don't recollect anything as such. Or is it something like I learnt everything on my own which I wasn't able to do the same at school. The pin-pointing is something a little too difficult. Because if not all, a little bit role is played by school also. After all, I ain't no genius. 

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Day 24, Friday

Your top 3 worst traits

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1. Less Talking : I usually talk. But I do that on a very calculated, or should I say less than necessary. I really don't know the reason. I just happened to be like this. And if you comparing me(outside this blog-space) with this person(again me) who is just writing and think that 'This guy is a chatterbox here on his blog, so he should be the same everywhere' , just let me stop you there. I am exactly the opposite. I find it better to exaggerate things here that are not totally present in reality. So, you see, you can assume that I am telling lies half of the time, or all the time. You caught me. 

So, last weekend I went to a movie with a new friend. And he offered me a lift back home. After the movie, while we were returning he asked 'You talk less. Why?' To which I replied the same answer the millionth time that I am like that only. But he didn't stop there. He continued saying, 'Are you having any troubles, life problems or something like that', and before I could say anything, he continued saying, 'We all have problems'. I just laughed and replied that there was no such thing going on with me. 

2. Stage-Fear : I guess I have talked about this a hundred times over. Consider this as the worst trait ever. I have tried my best and that turned out to be the worst. May be given some time and repeated exposure may help, but as of now, I still suck.

3. The People Talk : I have a habit of writing almost everything that comes to my mind. I repeat everything. So, sometimes I write centering some person or the other and explaining my side of the story how I feel and believe me I don't hold anything back. So, I an idiot that way. I don't intend to change myself. So, my advice - Stay away from me. 

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Day 25, Saturday

Something someone told you about yourself that you'll never forget (good or bad)

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Someone always tells something or the other about me. And believe me when I say it is not good, all the time. But that something that will never forget? Nothing rings a bell. Sorry about that.

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Day 26, Sunday

Something you read online. Leave a link and discuss, if you'd like.

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Come on. Not again. I read a lot of things online. As a matter of fact I do everything online. I don't even read the daily newspaper that comes to my doorstep every morning. So, when I do the reading thing, which is practically online all the time, I am bound to stumble on something fascinating all the time. And if I were to link all those fascinating things that I came across online, this would be a never ending post. Believe me on that. You must see my bookmark list. That was supposed to easily access the links, but the list is that long that I have to scroll up and down like a hundred times to actually come to the one I was looking for. So, you get the point right. Again, I have to apologize here not being helpful to this topic in any way. 

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Day 27, Monday

A letter to your readers

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Dear Readers, 

First of all let me thank you for being so generous to drop by my blog every other day and read. And thank you for leaving your precious thoughts on whatever I write. I agree with you that what I write isn't the best of all, that I am still learning and that your comments help me to better myself. And in the course of time, I would like to better than what I a m now at writing. 

Now, I sincerely apologize for not being able to drop by your blog regularly, and in the recent past I haven't even visited any of the blogs at all. I regret that a lot. I try to make the best of time to read as much as possible but the thing that I myself am unable to write a post concludes that time is not on my side at all. 

Sincerely, 

The Guy-failing-to-read-your-posts.

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Day 28, Tuesday

 Only pictures

 This is what goes in my mind all the time......

Inside my mind - The Peace. 

The Rising Star.

Now, you must have realized that it is so wrong to ask a photographer to add photos. Because there are so many photos in the hard disk that it makes very difficult to pick one and just post here. I could go on and on and transfer all my GigaByte(s) worth of photos and that it would be too difficult for the server to handle that huge data flow by the server. So, I am leaving here with three. Okay, don't ask what? why? I just picked up randomly.

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Day 29, Wednesday

Five songs or pieces of music that speak to you or bring back memories. Use Grooveshark or YouTube to include them in the post

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Sad : Blues, Instrumental

Normal : Rock +  Hip Hop  + Electronic + Metal + Rap + Pop

Happy : Blues + Rock +  Hip Hop  + Electronic + Metal + Rap + Pop

Almost all that comes in that category. Are you feeling that I am just impossible, that I am just at all clear at any time. 

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Day 30, Thursday

 React to this term: Letting Go

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Recently, I have acquainted myself with a word which shouldn't be used. Though my resolution does say not to use that particular word. But yeah, F#*k. So, when someone tells me let go of something, seriously, F4 you. (Ok, I deciphered it here.)

Now on a serious note. You were being serious in the previous para, how much more serious do you want to be? Does that involve shouting at the top of your voice? or may be write in bold letters increasing the font size, huh? Letting Go. I don't usually do that so easily. Because when I start something, I get a little attached to it, even if it is nothing or doesn't need hmm..erm.. that much attention, you can say. So, letting go is not my forte. It will take a lot time to completely let go. 

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Day 31, Friday

 A vivid memory

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I am sorry. But who am I? I don't well remember my name. *Thinks hard* . *Thinks really hard*. Sorry, just can't recollect myself or who I am. So, when you ask about my vivid memory - which memory were you talking about? How will the people (the readers) possible know what your memory is? Dumbass. 

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In Youth we learn, In age we understand.

Dawned with innocence

I played at my will

Filled with arrogance

I got what I wished

With too much tender love
Everybody spoiled me
For they gave everything
That I asked for

I grew up, slowly

Learning about life,

Facing the difficulties

Feeling lost in love

Ah! Such an experience

The pleasure of knowing something

The contemplation of love

The fear of failure

Unaware of what the future has for me

I risked almost everything

Dared to do the impossible

Fought the little battles of life

Parents guided my ambition
Teachers nurtured my aspirations
Growing was fun, I thought
And I feel so wrong now. 

As time flew by

As fate dawn upon me

I had to be careful, of myself

Careful of the step I had to take

But among all complications

Among all struggles and difficulties

Among all the unpleasant setbacks

I fought each, one at a time

With a little victories,
Many failures
I stood steady, without losing hope
Overcame each hurdle, each failure.

Now, I am grown up and old

And look back at the ancient times

Happy I feel, with myself

With the life as the young.

I see the children playing, 

Screaming and Enjoying

I see the innocence, 

I see the child in them.

As a child I never understood

The reason for their candidness

The artful ingenuity

The adolescent confusion

And now I feel so lost
As I miss the tenderness
The innocence in the work
The wait for the unexpected.

Someone rightly said, 

"In Youth we learn, 

In age we understand" 

And I couldn't agree more.

- Ajay Kontham © 2013

Written for Carry on Tuesday under the prompt, "In Youth we learn, In age we understand". 

P.S. Oh boy. I  think I am getting too bad at this. I get almost one week, and I just can't formulate the thoughts properly. I need to work on getting to work my magic around the words. I actually jot down my thoughts like brainstorming, and then I go blank. How do I add and mix and color these words and give them shape and life to mean something, to signify something? And i am just lost at it. I really appreciate the people who write the moment the topic is out. You got some talent, Sir(s) and Madam(s).