P a u s e.

"Why haven't you written anything?" #askingForAFriend*

#askedByAFriend*

"Why haven't you written anything?", asked a friend. The reason is quite simple. I mean I am quite good at blaming, I always have been. So, this was not a difficult task. The culprit was "Writer's Block". You know they say there is no such thing as a Block or Writers' Block. It's just what people say. To justify that claim, I am no writer. So, telling everyone that I am on the crucial setback and am going to pounce back anytime now is just preposterous. How preposterous? Like those few people, who happened to be versatile bloggers writing almost every day and praising you that you are a good writer, but they haven't even visited your blog, yet keep on saying that they know how good of a writer you are and you listen to that, flattered, flustered and with a new found ambition to write more, only to realize that you deleted your blog a long time ago. Preposterous. You want a better example? I am sorry, that's all I have, I guess.

I have another friend, a girl. Now, for an introvert talking to a girl is kind of difficult. You wouldn't understand even if I tried to explain, you extrovert playboy philanthropist and some other cute six-packed words. So, for a conversation to break, one needs a common ground. Of course, you need to communicate in terms you understand or at least you pretend to understand. If a person was into rocket science, I could probably pretend, but when two neutrons hit each other, I am not sure what exactly happens. Nuclear reaction. Destruction. Yes, that is what I was searching for. Having said that it's a real shame that I can't even crack science being a science student. What if I told you I just did it to get out of school? Anyhow, I found the common ground. Blogging. Here, I could be a pretend artist, a freaking Picasso, I mean William Shakespeare. Damn, I should do my research in writing. 7 years into blogging and it looks like high school all over again, stuck in the same class. So, I get acquainted and become online friends, with no benefits. I know right, its' such a big bummer. Eventually, I would get a text at 3 AM asking for a push, since she is stuck at writing something. I look at myself, I have to go to another room since the mirror is there. I look at myself for a whole damn minute thinking when was the last time I wrote, do I even have a blog anymore and I realize never keep a lady waiting even though she never reads even one, I respond giving that motivating speech like the coach gives in the movies to the team in the final round. It's mostly gibberish but it has a great background score, the really motivating, hair raising one. I am not sure whether I have helped or not, I get cut off. I do try to followback by sending a few more messages. But damn, this friends with no benefits is such a drag, I tell you. And there's goes away my motivation. 

I have another blog. I have been fairly irregular. I have had it for a year, now. I don't have a reader base there, but I know a few people, like I do here. After reading a post, my intention is to leave a comment. Because writers and bloggers love comments. Its what keeps them motivated. If you don't know, try it. Leave a comment and see a positive impact on the person writing. That doesn't mean you have to leave a harsh and rude comment, but your opinion, positive or negative, just leave one. But I am amazed at the people leaving comments, mostly guys on girl's blog, which is nothing short of flirting. I haven't flirted or seen anyone in real, but I can just feel that itch in the throat, like that vomiting sensation, you know. Why? Because I have had my eye for quite some time and someone is applying a Tatkal. So, unfair. I even forget those lovely words I wanted to say to impress them. I just close the tab because that itch turned into a cough and I needed water.

I haven't written a single post in May of 2016. Do you know what the Blog stats say about my alleged visitors? As of today, 15000. That's like thrice of what I used to get when I wrote for the whole freaking month. I see that there is something terrible wrong with my blog. I have been trying to delete, move, customize and host it. But as the president of "The Procrastinators Elite", I just couldn't get work done, I had to postpone, like I am now. And that adds to the demotivating factor, finally making me unfit for writing.

"Why haven't you written anything?", asked a friend, not once, not twice, but thrice. This post is dedicated to him. Because despite being a shitty writer, he is checking my blog, whenever possible for a new post. I wish I had more friends like him. The Bloggers elite group could learn a thing or two from him, keeping aside your ego and whatnot. 

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ακ

Unrequited Love. #Z2AChallenge

Love is a beautiful feeling. Well, I don't know. That's what I have heard. 

Prove me right, may be?

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It was a late afternoon and the silence beheld the chatter of the lunch break. He was late for his lunch. He had a meeting he had to attend and it got extended a little but longer than he had thought. As the stomach made noises and pleading to be fed, he slowly walked up to the food section of the canteen hoping that there is still some food. He thanked his stars as the food was there, however a little cold, he could calm his crying stomach. He took his plate and made his way to his usual spot at the canteen. Usually it is always filled during lunch time. As he got busy gulping the food as soon as he sat down, he stopped in his tracks. Something, someone caught his eye. He froze as she went past him, talking to her friend talking animatedly and with that cutest smile ever. The heart took over his body and there was no hunger. He had not even taken a proper bite and he completely forget about his wailing stomach. As she went to the far end of the canteen to get a coffee, the mind gave the hint for him to wake up and tend to the crying stomach. He wasn't hungry anymore. Even though he continued taking slow bites and stuffing the stomach, he was not aware of what he was doing. Clearly, the mind had no chance convincing him to get out of that trance. The phone beeped. It was a message from his colleague asking him to join as soon as possible. He didn't realize he had got the message. The phone buzzed again with another message to hurry up. He was completely awry of that. But the buzzing never stopped. Apparently, it was important. H woke up from his trance, finally realizing that he had already finished his lunch and he didn't even know about eating it. "One last good look", he said to himself. But she turned to the other side right at the very moment. "Arrgh", he sighed audibly. He wasn't sure he was going to see her again. He was already scared of losing her, her memory, however momentary it was.

On his way back to his meeting room again, he was cursing his colleague for not giving enough time to sink in her thoughts when he could. May be he could have talked. He was already scripting what he would have said and how he would have approached her. And he told himself not to be too cheesy on the first time. May be a little of introduction and compliment. But before he could get a perfect script, the client greeted him. He brushed everything aside at once and turned that lost face to a smile and greeted back. He was still recovering from the trance, which was quite evident by the way he was missing the words and not looking to be all over the place. He somehow managed to pull off the meeting without much damage. He walked back to his seat shaking his head about the almost blunderbuss meeting. Then as he settled he thought about the reason for this. "It was her", he exclaimed, quite audibly that the person next to him gave him a confused look. He exclaimed as she walked past on the other end of the room. She was in his floor and he had completely missed seeing her till that very day. He was in that trance again, only to be woken up again by his confused colleague who was asking what he was mumbling.

That day marked the start of silent stares and contemplating about how to make a great first impression. His days and nights we re mostly spent on thinking how to make it happen. One fine day, there was a team lunch and some good soul introduced her to him. He wasn't sure that she was part of the team. Well, it was a big team and their line of work handled different part of the project. He introduced himself and she reciprocated the same. He finally could put a name to the person who kept haunting his thoughts. And that marked the beginning of a new friendship. As he get to know her a little more, his feelings for her started increasing. Though he told himself that it was just infatuation and this will pass. But it was not just her thoughts. He started seeing her everywhere. Everyone looked like her. Every voice he hears, he wishes it was hers. Well, she also invaded his dreams as well. He finally concluded that he was in love.

While he was contemplating how to express his feelings, as scared as he was, finally got a shocking news. He was needed elsewhere and he had to stay there for half an year. His task was to set up and get the work started. He couldn't leave now. He was at this crucial stage of love where he can't go past even a single day without looking or talking to her. And 6 months was a pretty long time. Even though he wanted to hand it over to someone like... Oh snap...there was no one else to hand over the task to. He was eventually given the responsibility. With a heavy heart, he moved to the new place and made sure that he did not bid farewell to her. Because he felt if he did that he could not meet her again. And how long can 6 months be. It will go in a jiffy, before he knew it. As time moves by, he has a hard time adjusting to pass the days without talking to her. He had thought that he should have proposed before going. And this very thought haunts him everyday when he looks over his cubicle only to realize that he isn't in the same city as she was. And something keeps killing him inside. On one side he has "Just propose" and on the other "What if she rejects and I would lose a great friend. And she is not into stuff like this". "But I think I should". "No. I shouldn't". "I can't compromise the friendship". His friends knew about this and have always encouraged to take the leap of faith. "See, if you love her, you should propose. Two things can happen. One, in which she agrees and two, she doesn't agree. Now, she is a good sport so, you can still be friends with her. But if you don't and keep staying in such a dilemma, you will never know. And down the line, you will definitely regret not trying. So, take the leap of faith", one of his friends said. Eventually he has finally come up with a plan, even though he was dead scared.

While there were days when he really wanted to propose and there were days when he thought that being staying as a friend was better than taking the risk. In one of such latter days, she informed him about the new developments in her life and that she was taking a step forward with her which was followed by a wedding invitation. He sunk into his chair, confused and telling himself that it is still a dream and he would wake up any moment now. Only that he was waking up. He pinched himself to wake himself up. But nothing worked. He just couldn't come to terms with it. He couldn't even go to the marriage even though he was completely free. He just couldn't bear the thought of her getting married to someone else. Eventually he seemed to have moved on, or so he thought! Even the six months planned stay was extended due to some new requirements and expanding the work. 

After nearly ten months, he finally got back to the city. His place is still there and even though he has moved past the whole love-thing, he saw her walking past on the other end of just like she did a year ago. All those bottled up feelings that he so secured buried, just came out rushing. 

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Express, before its' too late.

#Z2AChallenge,

because I can spell the alphabets in reverse!

#Day6 #U #UnrequitedLove #TheLetterU #AlphabetU

A shared emotion #2

Love needs to be shared. No, it wants to be shared. Little did he know what the world has come to. Aryan was new to the city and being brought up in a traditional society country slowly adapting to the western nomenclature in the name of ethics and social standards, he was on a expedition to explore, learn and transpire the experience. He isn't shy of what was happening in the country. But then again he wasn't ready for what he had to encounter. 

___________

A shared emotion #1 ...(continued)

Swiping the sweat from his forehead, Aryan walked away as fast as he could. from the elevator. The elevator door closed and but he was the only one to have stepped out of the elevator. He shook his head in disbelief with what just happened and hoping that it was all in his head he went on to call a cab. There were none within his reach. It was afternoon and a cloudless sky. The sun was bright. It rained the other night so the road was still a little damp. And he retorted to use the public transportation. He had to take a While he was crossing the heavily trafficked road over a pedestrian overpass he had another encounter.

He was taking the steps and when he lifted his head midway there were there in the middle of the overpass. Aryan had convinced that this wasn't all in his mind and it was happening all around him. But this time he had hoped that they would pause or walk away since it was a public setup. The girl had covered her face but that didn't stop these college kids. Aryan just walked away brushing that side from his mind. He got to the other side of the overpass and stepped down to find a park by the lakeside. Now, this had not only the college kids "busy with each other" but quite a lot of people. Though not sure whether it was the genuine love that was being shared or just an experimentation of their adulthood. But he was in for an unexpected surprise that evening.

It was nightfall and the stars fell into the ocean twinkling in their reflection. He finally managed to get the bus and as his awkward day might have it, the phone ran out of battery. He had no idea where to get down, but he was hoping that his memory would serve right and help him reach the destination. His memory did help, but he got down a stop early. Relieved that he didn't get down too far away, he made his way. It was again the lake side. There was no park, but there were benches on the sidewalk. About half way through, he stopped to take a break. He had been walking all round, standing and then again walking. So, he was fairly tired. There was a bench in a few meters so he stepped towards it. What looked like a homeless guy sleeping on the bench under the shade of a tree wasn't quite the same. As he was nearing the bench, it looked like two people. Or may be it was a very fat homeless guy covered in huge blankets. A few steps more and there were noises and now it was getting clear what was happening. One more step and he saw and heard what he wasn't supposed to. Or may what they weren't supposed to do or say in public. Without much ado, he retraced his steps back, went all the way through the sidewalk.

And that was the beginning of a sleepless night with the question that kept popping in his head "What have we come to?".

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#NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month) #Day2

#Explore #PDA #PublicDisplayOfAffection #newToTheCity #Day2

A shared emotion.

Love needs to be shared. No, it wants to be shared. Little did he know what the world has come to. Aryan was new to the city and being brought up in a traditional society country slowly adapting to the western nomenclature in the name of ethics and social standards, he was on a expedition to explore, learn and transpire the experience. He isn't shy of what was happening in the country. But then again he wasn't ready for what he had to encounter. 

Stepping out of his apartment room on the twelfth floor, he waited the elevator. It was a slow one for this tiny skyscraper apartment which had a very nice lake view. After what felt like eternity, there was a sound indicating the arrival of the elevator. He got in as the elevator started its descent. A moment later it stopped at the tenth floor. "Oh great!", he exclaimed. This wasn't the modern elevator which did things in a jiffy. It took another lifetime to open. A girl fairly well dressed, groomed and quite extremely good looking was standing as the door slowly opened like a opening scene of an actress in the movie, though it lacked the background score, Aryan played that music in his mind adjusting his jaw that was hanging in the air. As the door opened completely, she entered and a second later there was another husky guy, a bit taller than him and felt like he just swam in a pool of deodorant. 

With a creaking noise the door finally starts to close. A moment later Aryan finds himself in the most awkward position ever. He had already occupied one corner of the elevator that could take upto 15 people at a time and was acting busy on his phone. He had to admire the jaw dropping beauty just a few steps away. His jaw did drop, this time to the floor but not the way he had anticipated it to. The other two members of the three people in the elevator were engaged in a make out session, kind of intense. It was like he was the left out person in a threesome. With each floor the heat was building up, in spite of the fan running at full speed. Aryan looked at the digital screen indicating the floor number which showed 9. He kept himself busy staring at the phone. After what felt like eternity the elevator was at 7th floor. At this speed when they finally reach the ground floor, there would be three people exiting the elevator with a new born baby. It took almost 9 months to reach the ground floor just in time, to find the Ambulance waiting for the jaw-dropping-lady.

To be continued ...

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#NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month) #Day1.

#Explore #PDA #PublicDisplayOfAffection #newToTheCity

The stranger you haven't met. Yet.

The morning is bright and shining its glorious light waking you up from your dreadful sleep. You never gave it much thought. It has always been the kind of feeling, that your mind and heart are at battle over something, which you are not quite sure what it is. You have been thinking, which is unusual. It is not like you don't think, you do think occasionally but you don't think too long on a something or to be precise about her. You are still not sure who she is, what she is, but still, you ponder into the oblivion trying to figure out what is it that you are feeling, what it is that is keeping you awake all night. You saw her a couple of times and you felt the same thing every single time she made her presence felt to your eyes. You are confused. 

You see her again. The first time was more of a glimpse, a blurred image dangling in your conscious and that, which left you sleepless. You are not feeling quite right. Something is happening, is it your mind or your heart? 'Argh',  You let out sigh because you feel that no matter how round the earth might be, there was no way you would be able to see her again. But may be it was your fate or destiny or some similar catch-phrases or perhaps say a miracle, you rub your eyes just to make sure you didn't slide into that small bubble called dream. She was real. She is real. You see her. You forget something, to look away. Your eyes trail her every move. You slowly realize that everything except her is in the colors of two, black and white. She was in bright colors, looking splendidly under the warm morning sun.

She takes a seat across you, but a little far. You have the urge to take a closer look, may be even sit just right across her. But you don't want to give her an impression that girls get when they realize that a guy is creeping up closer. You want to sweep her off her feet with the agility and charm and you realize that you need to work out a bit. You shake the thoughts and drown into the dream like reality. You are awake yet lost. You see the bright brown eyes shining with charm as of there is a twinkle in them and you realize that they are smiling. You watch the  eyes brimming with innocence and which could smile. You have looked at the mirror a million times and your's never did. She takes out her book to read and trails the spoon in the across the edges of the coffee cup. She drowns herself into that book. She is in another place, another world that the book had to offer. She smiles once in a while and your heart melts as if she looked at you smiled. You see the dimples in that brief moment and sink in the candidness of her perfection. You see the curve they make and  you feel the heart racing, beating loudly as if you had sprinted non stop for a very long stretch. Your eyes do the magic of taking it all in, slowly sinking in the beauty as the breaths become heavy.

Your phone rings a couple of times. Probably it was work or some customer care trying to promote their new offers on the network or may be it was your mom checking up on you whether you had your lunch or not. But you are too busy, or perhaps too lost to respond. You slowly notice the soft curls dangling, like a chandelier, bright, think and dark, shining and exquisitely beautiful. May be you are smitten by her beauty that you find everything beautiful, but no. You have never seen anyone like her who would keep your heart racing and on your toes and lost at the same time. You are pushed back to earth when someone stands in front of you obstructing a beautiful view. Your colleague tracks you down and literally drags you to work. You know that it was an important day at work, but you had forgotten about it. You shake your head and embrace the reality. You turn to give her a final look before you dissolve into the crowd hoping that she gives you a peek. You have this weird feeling, churning in your stomach that this will be the last time you will see her. But, hope is all you are left with.

You retire for the day to the same coffee corner after a series of endless seminars, presentations and meetings. You look around. You know that it was pointless, yet that little thing called hope never gives up. He reluctantly sips his coffee re-imagining the afternoon, her. Suddenly, you smell a lavender filled the air and you feel the silk brushing your hand and someone pretty stands in front of you. It was her. You don't believe you eyes. Yet, you don't want to pinch yourself. Even if it a dream, you don't want to end. You sink in the sweetest voice, like an enchantment that is binding you in comfort, while the heart starts racing so fast that you feel like you will pass out anytime soon. You stumble to figure out what was happening around you and she says, "Is this seat taken?" holding her vanilla filled chocolate pastry melting in its warmth. You try to appear calm and coy at the same time while your mind races through a million alternatives to say to her in response and you say "No,.. please .." gesturing her to take the seat. Your mind is now an unstoppable wagon draining out of words to say, to strike a conversation. You come up with a million alternatives yet you don't know where to begin. You curse yourself under your breath. You want to make a lasting impression, but how is haunting you to death. You finally make up your mind and as you try to say it you feel a gentle push on your shoulder, "Is there anything you would like to order", says the waiter gesturing that it was time to close up. You look across your table and the realization weighs you down. You can't believe it was a dream as it felt surreal. You dozed off to her thoughts after a couple of minutes and it had been hours while the coffee became cold. And deep down you feel that there is a chance somehow, somewhere in the near future that you would see her again and strike up the conversation that you have been building up and that the next time you don't doze off.

#IAmYouChronicles

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P.S. : This is a work of fiction. No, it hasn't happened to me. I wasn't describing my experience. Yes, I hope for that to happen someday to me. 

Luck - A Superpower.

"I am freaking LUCKY!"

-AK 

I am in a constant debate with myself about the supernatural entity called Luck.Well, it has helped me a lot many times, I think ( I guess I am just being nice). But it has also drowned me a lot many times as well. So, what should we make of this supernatural power called LUCK ? I have never, I mean I could never associate myself to being the lucky one. Because sometimes life's a bi*ch and there is nothing we could do about it. 

When I have associated myself for a random pleasure of playing poker online ( for fake money obviously) I realized how lucky I was when I lost over a million dollars in succession. And I can't imagine what I would have gotten myself into if I played that game for real. I can't begin to imagine my fate, or should I call it Luck, and moving a little further can I call Life.          

When after a week long debacle of keeping my hairstyle intact for a week since I feared that taking a shower might ruin the alignment of the hair (which was looking awesome by the way though however messy or dusty and need I say Dandruff might have been accumulated, if I should point out) and it would never be the same ( in perspective of looking good/awesome). So, when I finally decide to take the shower, a few moments later(while I was mid way) I was welcomed with air through the shower. I was like what the hell? Yeah, you guessed it right! There was no water in the water tank in the middle of the afternoon, when I or anyone would least expect it. So, I had to clean myself up with the little drops that were pouring out of the shower. It happened not once, not twice, but thrice in succession.Someone sure is pissed off at me. Can we call him God. Or is it just my bad, very very bad LUCK.

I went to a movie last week. And since all my friends were busy, I went alone. Plus my friends are not a fan of English action movies as much as I am. And to add to that they are selective about what kind of movies they would be watching. Anyway, I went alone and as I as waiting outside the theater since the previous movie stretched a little longer than expected. So, I came across this girl who looked like WOW, like really WOW!, not jaw dropping but just Wow! As I was the good guy that I am, I preferred not to stare creepily and started minding my own business. I really don't give the better looking people much of my eyes. If I do, there will be a well enough reason. So, when the movie started and grabbed my seat in the theater, I was smiling wide when that very girl sat beside me. The first thing I did was tweet about it. *People collectively shouting in unison WHATTT?* What did I do now? I was tweeting. So, what's wron.. Oh I get it. Your question is "What the hell am I doing tweeting at that time?". I missed the part where I forgot to mention she came with her boyfriend, who (uneasy for me ) was holding her hand all the time and never let it go even once. Lets get back into the theater. And wait, it gets more interesting when they swap their seats and now that guy is sitting beside me. Simply Great! 

When everything is going just fine, I start worrying, almost each day because it is an bad sign. Something bad has to happen, no matter what, no matter how good you(I) might be feeling or however lucky I might be. A day which goes without any incident(preferably bad/unlucky) is like a miracle. So, the day before yesterday was such day. I currently have no work at office ( remember my reference "Jobless with a Job" : THAT) and I was feeling pretty bored being at office. So when I called my friend who was also in similar shoes, he was playing caroms. I was like, Oh yeah, we have a games room in office right? When I went there, they were playing the game and I saw the empty Table Tennis table, so I decided to play TT from then on. That very day, I bought a pair, which I got for a cheap rate which was surprising. All this about the night before the actual day. So, I reach office leisurely and to check my hair I went into the restroom. It was okay, which was unusual because it is always messed up and I have to spend literally an hour to get it into shape and then I frown when it doesn't turn out into what I expected it to be. So when it was fine after a bumpy bus ride, I was like "Ah, my lucky day!". It was short lived when my zipper malfunctioned. It was fine in the morning when I started but now I have no idea what happened. It didn't open. And when it did open, it was gone, as if it was torn. I was just into office. If I were just leaving, then I could have covered it with something and silently made an exit. The problem was that I just reached and promised all my friends that I would play TT with them and it gets interesting as my next bus back home it in the evening after nearly 6 hours. And imagine my situation with an open zipper. Oh wait, don't (what was I thinking! My sincere apologies) It would be disgusting. I had hell of a time covering it. I think my attempts in covering itself might have given away what I was trying to hide. And well, I just couldn't leave it like that. Then I thought, I should have a spare shirt and trousers ready in my bag. Oh God! It is really not a good experience at all. Fortunately ( yeah, I missed the 'Un' in front of it) I didn't take the pullover which I usually keep ready in my bad or the sweater. None. 

Yay! I sure as hell am the LUCKY one! I have no idea whom should I blame. Wait, why should I blame anyone for the mishaps that happen to me. And with that I reveal my superpower : Unlucky! I am currently working on a symbol and done a rough drafts for the costume. It will out soon. Don't forget to buy then on OLX. Yeah,  I was kidding about buying them on OLX. Who wants to be unlucky? Stupid me! 

P.S. : I could go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on (ya ya! we get it. Dude, stop!) about all my lucky encounters. But let me tell you, the last one is the worst, so far.  I am not hopeful that it will be the last one. I am sure, I will be facing many more such incidents. If not, it is not me! It can't be. And the starting line which I wrote as if it was some quote or something, it isn't. I searched for some nice witty quotations. I didn't get any. So I made up a random one. And don't say, I know its the lamest. But it could never be lamer than my luck. 

Random Observation.

Among the myriad of busy people slumped in their own world filled with varied emotions, as the music faded despite the blaring sound that could shatter the glass window pane, the crowded diminished into blurred shadows. The sleepiness that haunted me for a while as I somersaulted in the bus sitting at the same place started wearing off. The reflection became clearer with each passing second as animated figures that were indulged in the chattered conversation on the technology's latest. Everything turned into dual colors of black and white except that violet dress that she wore. As the bus made its way through the crowded streets packed with more cars than humans, the hair danced on her cheeks covering that cute dimple. Those brown fiercely calm eyes looked as relaxed as it could ever be. There was this charm that radiated around her which lately is being lost in the people due to too much make up, may be. That warmness in the charm attracted me. Though however simple she might be, she looked perfect among many imperfections dwindling to be perfect. I wanted to absorb and sink in, but I had to go. 

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They talked in animated conversation, he snapped from one of his day dreaming session. She came and went. At one moment their eyes met. He just sat there and trying to recollect that face. Her smile. He snapped again, she didn't even smile. It was a brief moment. A very brief moment. He didn't knew her. They were in a function. He was in a group of friends, so was she, but different groups, per say. He searched for her again, he couldn't find her. She was lost in the crowd. He was lost in the dreams yet again. The only thing that troubled him was that he couldn't recollect the face, yet he knew how beautiful she looked. He just couldn't.

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P.S.  I think I owe an apology, to myself first of all and to all the people whose blog I haven't been able to visit regularly. No, I wasn't busy at all. Remember the tag line I used to tell a while back, "Jobless with a Job", well, that is back. And though I have all the time, I have just dodged from writing, every.single.time I wanted to write something. I am still trying to figure out what went wrong and where. There is this feeling that is awful, let me tell you, that there are thoughts, a lot many if I could point out, but nothing is coming out. I open the blogger every single time, I click on new post, I stare at it blankly for a while. Close the tab. Watch a tv series, come back, repeat. Something is really wrong with me, isn't it? And the worst part is that there is this self-indulged challenge of blog every day. *Sigh*. That doesn't seem to be coming right. Plus there is this A2ZChallenge to start in May. Ughh. I am so impossible. 

#365Challenge

[ 18 / 365 ]

Day 189.

I took a walk to clear my mind. But I am too lazy. Still, I took that walk. I really needed that clear mind. I wanted to think straight. I went for a coffee shop, drowned in a cup of coffee and a pastry. As the mind was slowly clearing from all the fuzziness. I started hearing voices. The people who were sitting on the next table. "What the fuck is wrong with people?" "Hey, that's fucking awesome". "Where the fuck did you get that from? That is so lovely!" "You must be fucking kidding me". "That's fucking great man! How much does your mom get per month". Thank you. Just Unbelievably THANK YOU, for letting me have a great coffee experience and yeah, also for clearing my conscious. Now, I could think more clear. 

I plug in my earphones and stroll down. The wind is cold. Ofcourse, that is the after-math of the rain. The has been dark-ish cloudy blue when I started out. Now it is almost dark. The music playing in my head is just too inconsistent, as I was just not getting the right song. Vexed, I kept it on shuffle and left it alone to alone. Fortunately, the song was pretty nice - slow and soothing sort of. I walked as I enjoyed the cold air sweeping across my face. And the mind finally eased itself. The song was over and then it turned to some rock-pop song. I felt like this : 

Oh Yeah! I was feeling like that but there were no pretty girls though. And also the song wasn't Bootylicious. But you can't blame a man for the imagination and the so called interpretation in their own way. Well, I was on my way back though a rarely used road, giving me more space to hmm..er..think. I finally reach my room, feeling a little better than the usual and step into my room to find the gruesome problem of the bachelor that is killing the people. 

Well, you know what it is. If you were thoughts were something related to Love, well...you are nearly there. There are some other things as well. To start with, the looks. There is a constant fight...hmm..er.. delusional talks between the fair and not-so-fair people in my room. The fairer side don't do much because well you know they are already fair. The other side of the line people are much more concerned about the complexion. I am usually out of those conversations because they are just so boring like the TV soap operas. The problem never ends and everyday the story begins at the same point, the same problem, the same people and obviously the same talk. So, where was I? Yeah, the complexion. Now, there is something more. The receding hair line. There are people who are so worried about the receding hair line that they are afraid that no one would ever want to marry them in the future. I laugh to that, like ROFL. What could be the better of it is that a guy went to the doctor spending like ten thousand bucks, and now get this, that was just for consultation. Hats Off. You will surely get Aishwarya Rai as your wife, oh wait she's taken. Well, whoever is available just because you have an awesome hair, developed by eating pills and gulping unknown liquids. Congratulations. 

And another thing which is bother the youth of this century is the #ForeverAlone tag inside their mind. Well, we all know that it isn't remotely possible. But the fear still persists. Everybody wants to be in a relationship. It is like a must-and-should thing. Or so it seems. Now that I am pretty much jobless with a job, I just roam around the coffee counter in the office and skimming through the pages on my computer. And there are people like me as well. I am not much into the relationship thingy, because for starters I know That's never gonna happen for me. Even if it were to happen, from my end though, I am one thousand percent sure that it won't happen from the other end. So, anyway, there is this guy who keeps trying into getting into one where ever possible. He has a crush on someone, of course he does. But he is kind of afraid to approach. Clearly, I don't know a thing about that approaching, or those cheesy lines *ahem* lies *coughs* . I clearly cannot do that, Seriously. But he asks me for advice. Dude, I don't know a thing. You are asking me as if I am an expert in giving advice about the so called love. So, on a casual conversation with a friend I asked her about the whole concept of getting into it. The reply was something like - First of all you should keep talking to people, talk a lot. Or You should be Super smart. Then Talk about the things what the girl wants to hear. And it just happens when you meet the right girl. Well, isn't it pretty clear from the first line itself? Talk, keep talking? Me? Talk ? Me? Yeah, I can't believe it myself. So, there is no discussion further, is there? Period. 

By the way, what I realized is that the people reading my blog have started Hash Tagging in their blogs or in the comments. I am starting a trend, it seems. :P #JustSaying #HashTagging And I just hash tag everywhere - Blogs, Comments, FB, Twitter, Chats, SMS, everywhere. 

#JustRolling  #KillingTime  #Rambling