What have I been upto ? (Cont...)

I was standing at the coffee counter in office. And this colleague of mine who is kind of an incharge of whatever I am into pats me on my back and says "What are you doing here?" I pointed out to the coffee shop and signaled him coffee with a grin face. But he asked me again saying, "I was asking what you were doing here?". You must have seen that advertisement in which a guy who is in a movie theater asks his friend what he was doing there and everybody starts clapping at his pure ingeniousness. I did the same thing in my mental thoughts.

The other day, as usual I was wasting time again. And then I realized that it was already morning when I got a call from the cab driver for the pick up. I was like "Wth, I haven't even slept yet and this guy is calling for the pick up place". Again, as usual, I didn't pick up the call. Not because I did not sleep. But because he was calling nearly one and a half hour late. And also in another half an hour the normal shuttle service would be started. And I had no big deal of a work at office either. So, I was awake for nearly 24 hours. This was not the first time I was awake for such a long time. I have been upto 3 days (plus or minus). I felt like its' not big of a deal. It wasn't, until when I realized that I wasn't able to walk properly. I managed myself upto the bus stop, but again I wasn't able to stand properly. Because this sleep was kicking in so badly that it was totally not under my control. But I still managed to stand and get into the bus somehow. I was like swinging like a drunk man. 

I have spent so much on food and coffee that I felt like I was giving salary to them, but in installments. I didn't think much about it until one of my friend asked me. What do I eat for dinner? The locality where I stay has access to a few fast food joints, like the KFC, Subway, Pizza, Coffee Shop plus a few restaurants. No, they are not beside my place, but I can manage a little walk. So, I told the same thing to my friend when he asked me for the weekly dinner plan. I am junk addict, am I not? Its' not like I am a junk addict. The food at my place is not good at all. One time, I felt like I was wasting too much money on food and that too not so healthy food. So, I thought I will just eat here where I stay and I would be able to save a few bucks. But the one time I ate, I made a vow kind of thing like never to eat here again. Even if its' unhealthy or costly, I am just going to eat out.

Sometimes, I feel like I am drifting away. Like into some place unknown and foggy and blank and I-really-don't-know. Exactly, it sounds crazy right? I know. I have felt the same. So, this guy was speaking to me and I was listening to him. After a period of 10 minutes, I realized that I was here, but my mind was somewhere else. And I would have been happy if I had known what I was thinking. It is totally normal, unless the other guy asks a question and I am still like he is saying something and I nod agreeing to whatever he was saying with a "Yeah". Believe me, it is totally awkward. If that awkwardness isn't enough, I have some more tricks in my sleeve. Someone asks me my opinion or something and I start telling my opinion or explaining. In the middle I realize that I am thinking about something else like what I am doing now. And then I have no idea what I say, but believe me it doesn't make sense, in no way possible.

People are always trying to tell something that they know or don't know. And when it comes to future, they can't be stopped. Oh no, not about theirs, but others. Almost every other person is interested in sharing their piece of mind on how to live my life, what I have to do, what I have to change, what could be done! Dude, just shut the fish up. I know everything and as a matte of fact, I know a little more also. So, I don't think your intuition or whatever is of no one's concern. The only problem with people telling me do something is that they haven't done any of it. Before you tell others, at least do that from your side and then you can talk shit.

Oh Boy, Could it be any worse?

I feared as much. I had this coming. I kind of waited for it, it seemed like. So when I wrote about what I felt the other day, I was in the limelight with light foccussed on me while the questions were bombarded at me. I tried to justify my actions. But I think I went a little too far when I wrote. I thought I got that under control. But clearly I didn't. Because when the questions came, they were the ones I least expected to be. And I came to a point where I thought I might have written something and left it in the middle that gave the concerned people a little thought to ponder over.

I always wanted to be that go-to-guy where people would ask my opinion or advice or even tell stuff or call me up late night just to talk. I know I was expecting a little too much. But what was wrong in trying. But I couldn't be that. Because. Wait, I will have to explain this in detail. But, I blew it off. Right off the roof. Now I am one hundred percent sure that people hate me more than ever. There is no beauty in holding back, I thought and I was wrong. 

The people whom I hang out with are a little temperamental. I was actually trying to write a story on them most of which is supposed to be fiction. I was just done with the introductions. I am still in the process of writing a story, which I presume I will write in the days to come. So, yeah. Temperamental! People usually get angry too fast. It is a human trait. If something they hear about themselves is something they didn't expect or when someone starts teasing them, it is a little know fact that people will get angry about it. But so is not the case among friends. Friends are one, where we can be ourselves besides our home, and even if they crack a few jokes or tease it is not a big of a deal. After all they are friends, a second family, I could say. So, the problem with a little temper is that people get angry for the silliest of the reasons. Like if I say, I won't come for something since I am held up in some other work, people get angry. If I say something or start teasing or however small the issue is, people get angry and leave the group. I was disturbed by this persistent leaving the group. It is I, who have to add them back every single time. I had no problem doing that. But leave in the first place! When we consider each other as friends, we talk, we say things to pull each other's pants, tease and what not. Isn't it supposed to be taken in a jovial manner rather than get all hyper and leaving the group? I had a lot many chances where I wanted to leave this group so bad because this was getting out of hand and like everybody else I was also losing my cool. Once, it is fine. Twice is also acceptable. But for every silly reason, it doesn't look cool. But I could never. Even when I am mentioning about leaving the group, at the back of my head I am like, "Who? Me? Am I kidding myself? I could never do that!". For god's sake these are my friends and I could never leave them even if I wanted to. 

I was asked whether I was comfortable in the group. I seriously have no idea what I wrote that gave this idea/impression. I could gladly say, Hell Yeah! I have never been so free with anyone. Sure, people judge but it always stays among the group. We have that confidence. I remember mentioning something about the dissimilarities and similarities among people. Let me clear that air. I am a very reserved person. Believe me, I don't talk much in person. You could ask my parents, or my relatives, or my previous acquaintances. So, if I am talking with you, that itself is an indication that I hold a special place for you. I have been among a multitude of people who came from different places and to add to that I have traveled a lot many places. I don't have many friends, to say the least. You might have heard the term 'Friends for Life' or 'Best Friends Forever'. I can never really associate myself to that title ever. And I felt that it is basically the similarities among people that bring people close to each other and that they end up such a title. But I was wrong. When I met this group, half of the people didn't even speak my language. That is the least of the concerns. To  add to it, we were of different age groups. Three people are a year older to me. And like I assumed the similarities was one important factor. It isn't. I was wrong about it. Though I may not expect them to hold a special place for me, I can gladly tell that I hold a special place for all these guys. So, when I look back I could remember them and say, I had a very nice batch of friends. And if were still friends after a couple of years as well, hell, then I would be holding that title I so longed for. 

Dear R,

I know I wrote a little too much. I exaggerated way too much and probably I should apologize for that. So sorry about all that I wrote. Since Su had come up with the question that I kind of explained in the previous, there is a very good chance that you might also have a couple of questions. I went a little too far when I was writing. And after a few minutes of talking about it, Su advised me to open up and be free with you all people. Though I told her I was an open book but she wasn't so convinced when I mentioned the same. I wrote the prevoious post to mention about people leaving the group for petty reasons and then I remembered that shirt thing. Seriously, it's totally okay. No worries there. I mentioned that too because I was kind of a little shocked. From the beginning of time since that group was created and we all started hanging out as a group, I was always on your side. So, when I got the first blow kick, I was a little shocked and then when my clothes were covered in chocolate, I was a little more shocked. I got carried away and wrote something I didn't mean to write. Then I realized among friends these things happen on a regular basis or else whats' the fun in that and there is nothing to make a big deal out of it, like I am doing now and like I did yesterday. I realize that whenever you might read this, you might be feeling bad for that, but its' okay and there is no problem at all. Believe me. I am just writing this to get this out of my mind. So, please don't mind.

_________________________

And there was one question I have been meaning to ask. But some other day, perhaps. I need some coffee now. 40 hours straight without sleep is kind of foggy. Though I don't usually sleep. These days I am just dozing off into sleep in the middle of the night. But last night I couldn't sleep at all. I have been thinking a lot of about this (post), about what to write and how to write and what not to write and whatnot. I know I am still dizzy and have no idea what I just wrote. I hope this doesn't spoil more than the mess I already created. Second cup of coffee right here. Finally.

P.S. : Phew! I wrote something with my sleepy eyes. And you should consider one thing, when I write I think the least about what others think or feel. Because it is just a ramification of my idle brain and its misadventures. So, please when I write something don't take it seriously and personally. I don't mean half of what I write unless it is about me. If I am writing about others, I write in different ways I don't even imagine I could write about. I know I can't sleep today as well. And yeah I am kind of starving but I can't eat anything properly. Damn! When will this pass ? 

Waking up.

I am not usually a morning person. Really, I am not. People reading my blog know that. So, the past could of weeks I have been able to make these comic strips, based on my situation called - Insomnia. 

And finally the last but not the least and also the instant waking machine...

Besides all this, these days I have been sleeping early. I mean like at 1am or 2 am. I think someone has cursed me to sleep early. Phew! Who's that? Who would do such a heinous thing? 

P.S. : Created using BitStrips app for Facebook and Android Phone. 

One Aftermath.

I have been blurting about my Insomniac problem. Well, it actually isn't a problem as I am an active part of it . I mean I am the one leading myself into Insomnia by engaging myself into some or the other activities which could be trickled down to either watching TV series or playing games. I think by now most of the people reading my blog would know about that. Not only these people, the people at office also know that. And also the people who are in a totally different state and as a matter of fact , people in other countries also know about this. Whoa! Wow, I sound famous. But alas! It is just a distant dream. What ? Being famous, of course. Being insomniac doesn't make one famous. 

As I have already mentioned earlier about some of the incidents that happened to me when I was being sleep-ridden over the whole night. Let me point out a few and come to the latest one that happened just yesterday. Let me just skip to the latest one. I don't have much time now. I am attending a colleague's marriage. And in order to attend it, we have to start here as early as 4 am in the morning. So, yeah my so called Insomniac problem will help me better this time. And also I have to go to my friend's room since the pick up will start over there and I live on the other side of the city. So, yeah, I am writing this as fast as possible. Why the hurry, you may ask ? No reason as such. Umm.. well, I want to write a total of 200 posts by this year end. And with over a month remaining I still have to write 30 odd posts. 

The night before yesterday, I didn't sleep as usual. Nothing new there. And the odd thing was that I wanted to go for a movie the other day. So, by keeping in mind my insomnia I planned that I won't be able to go to the movie in the morning if in case I don't sleep the whole of the night. But that's a known thing that I won't be sleeping the whole of the night. So, I didn't sleep. The odd thing that I did was that I booked the ticket for the first show which I felt might give me some encouragement to sleep or not sleep at all till I had completed watching the movie. Everything was going fine till seven in the morning. That is the time I wash my clothes (on a Saturday morning). I completed that and the time was eight. No biggie since the movie was at 10:10 am , I still had over an hour to get ready. I was feeling a little sleepy by now. I really don't know why! May be because I hadn't slept the previous night as well. So, I get myself into the hot shower. But after I come out, I don't know what I did. When I opened my eyes, I was in my bed and the time was twelve. What the hell happened in the middle? Did I watch the movie, came back and slept on my bed or I just slept after the bath. The time in between is lost. I really don't know what happened. One thing to feel nice about is that at least I wasn't sleeping naked in my bed after the bath. Now, that would be disappointing when my roommates find myself in that situation. 

P.S. Okay, I gotto run. Bye.

Mash Up.

The other day, I spoke at great length about the games that were being conducted at office. After two successful fails and losing in a manner we can't even speak about, the third day we hoped to change the tables to our sides. But as you might have very well guessed, the same fate awaited us. We knew it beforehand, but still we did it anyway. 

We had a DJ on the next day. It was the only day in over a year after staying in Bangalore that I actually sweat. I am not kidding. I had went on a marathon a couple of times. Actually, to be precise two times and I did not sweat then, may be because I was more walking than running. Well, okay now we are not here to judge my stamina. I also went on a morning jog. If you know me ( in case you are reading my blog or whatever!) , I am an Insomniac person. If I have to wake up at six in the morning, I sure as hell can't wake up even if I had a hundred alarms blazing in my ears. Been there, done that, got scolded by roommates. So, the only solution is to stay awake till six. One day when I saw that the time was six and my so called TV Series have magically completed, I woke up to the world. I thought lets go for a run and fulfill that six-pack body from my wish list. I came back panting, realizing that I didn't even run half a mile. Keep aside the half mile thing, I just walked and came back , umm, panting. So, what was I telling ? Yes, sweating! We danced like crazy, like mad crazy. Though we hadn't any dance moves in our grasp. But there was music, which was more than sufficient. 

Since we are on the topic of me being an insomniac. Let me extend the story a bit longer. The other day I wanted to catch the early bus to office. This bus usually comes at seven in the morning. Since you already know my story about my inability to wake up in the morning on time, I preferred to stay up all night. So, I was keeping myself busy with some movies and tv series. By the time I realized to check the clock, it was already seven. I seriously cursed myself for not keeping tabs on time as I wanted to be in office early that day. I got ready for the next bus, which is usually at nine thirty. But before that, I thought I could steal a little sleep since the time was still eight. The next thing I know, the time is ten. Believe me, I cursed me even more. Well, since this is also out of reach, the next and the final bus was at eleven. I made the weird calculations in my mind to come to a conclusion that I had another one hour before the bus comes. So, let me steal another quick nap. The next thing I know the time is twelve. No kidding! I just succeeded in missing all the morning buses and in turn had to pay my way to office. The only problem was that by public transport, I had to change two bused, walk like..um.. over two mile (roughly). "The day couldn't have been better". No, Seriously! 

So, today as I was about to start writing a post. I got delayed. No, I was lying . I was distracted. Thanks to faceboook for being successful in that every single time. Even though, I don't get any new notification for decades, I still open it to see if by chance any. I came across this video : 

I seriously had a nice laugh. So I continued watching other videos of same genre. By the time I finished, I mean the videos list got, the time is now. If you happen to watch the Game of Thrones tv series, you would like this one. Scratch that. You would still like it anyway. The lip sync is just too awesome and perfect. Hats off guys.

The other day, my friend introduced to an friend of his, who in turn turned out to be a person I already knew, but not that well. So he said, he was just telling about me. I was seriously taken aback. What the hell do I have that you are telling others about ? I asked the same. You write poems, don't you ?  he asked me. Ofcourse I do, I replied. He writes awesome poems and since you are also interested in poems, you too could sit together sometime, he said to his friend. I was feeling like acting like a great poet. Though the voice in my mind was keep telling me shouting at me "Dont flatter yourself". I accept that this is short lived, but still I could drown in it. So, I wrote one the very same day. The hope died the very same day. No, now you don't have to go to that poem. It really sucked. Take my word for it. 

P.S. I would be lying if I said that I am still trying to get my head around this writing thing. Because I ain't trying here, at all. I should get back to this, real soon. I feel like I am babbling on an on, without making a point. Umm... there was never such a thing ever though, but still I tried to, back in those days ! 

Sleep-Talk!

The Sleep-Talk

Somniloquy

I have had many encounters with Somniloquy. And what I have found is that this happens mostly to people who really work hard. Their mind gets to much occupied with the work that they are so deeply absorbed into. It is all random and clearly the other person won't understand what he/she is saying unless they are too involved in the same work. I could pick up a lot many people whom I had seen talking during their sleep. I guess it must be that they were working hard even in their sleep. What do we call those people? But I haven't seen anyone sleep-walking yet, I guess.

I am an insomniac. So, I stay up late at night till the sun shows its face. Yeah! I sleep just before the dawn. Weird? I know. So, some of my roommates get into sleep talk in the middle of the night. I get startled. What I hear is a total blur, but it feels like they are talking to us, the one awake, may be needing something or some help. But then they are still wide asleep. Need I say more there is a special music in addition to my iPod playlist the snoring. Sometimes, it gets difficult to sleep especially in winters when the fan is switched off and the only sound is the snoring and it reciprocates and echoes like a million times in the room. What do I do? I sleep with my earphones on. Again weird? Yeah, I agree this time also, because I sometimes accidentally sleep on my earphones and the result is that one of the earphone doesn't produce sound. Well, I had to buy those apple earphones two times so far. :( . 

So far I have never had a dream about the work I do. May be I was just not involved in it. Or may be I had forgotten. But I can remember one dream. It was the night before my seventh standard mathematics exam. The previous two years we didn't had to give any final exams, due to the terrible Gujarat Earthquake and the Riots which followed the next year. So, I was giving my final exam after two years. And it was mathematics. I thought I studied but I didn't. And my dad is dead serious about maths, of course because he is too good at it. So, as always I was reading the day before the exam. Practicing usually meant applying the formulas for different sets of questions. Even if the formula was easy, the question was difficult to understand. So, my plan was to practice each and every different type so that I could fare a little better. I had studied sometime past mid night, but all the problems which I wanted to cover weren't done yet. I was small then so I don't remember whether I was an insomniac or not. But I slept sometime later. I started practicing maths again. And I did it till my mom woke me up. I was a little bit shocked. Because I didn't know I was asleep all the time. But I was studying maths, or so I felt because all those formulas and me scribbling on the notepad did feel real. Then suddenly I tried recollecting some of the problems which I did from my dream. Some seemed valid, actually most of it. But since I had that confusion for a slight minute, I had forgotten what I thought I studied in my dream. I still ask myself sometimes whether I really did study those remaining unsolved questions or was it just a dream due to too many numbers revolving in my mind. 

Moving On. That comic strip you just saw in this post is the most recent one. I had a couple of more incidents, but I have to make the avatars all over again for different people, which I could do, but a tedious and a long process. So, I am managing with this one. So, this guy usually goes to office early in the morning and comes back almost at mid night. This was the routine for the past two weeks. And this guy doesn't even stay in our room. He stays upstairs but he has friends in my flat, so hangs here most of the time. So, this guy comes early to my room and slowly drifts into sleep. My roommate has gone out in the mean time. Suddenly, he sits on the bed. And starts talking. I was the only one in the room but he still had his eyes closed. All my previous encounters with sleep-talking people, no one had actually sat up and started talking. But this guy did. For a few seconds, I thought he was talking to me. I was about to respond to his confusing talk, when I hear "Press ALT F5. Then a small window will come." I then realized that he was actually in a dream of some sort. He continued for about a half a minute more. Yeah! He kept talking. I even thought of giving him a bath with a bucket of cold water, but then I just dropped that thought. After he has finished talking about the code, some friend of his, something he did, something he wanted others to do, he went back to his sleep. And all this happened in the evening and the sun didn't fully go yet. 

The worst thing I remember doing in my sleeping was waking up horrified because I was about to get caught doing something terrible which I don't remember now and kicking the blanket over trying to get up the cliff while I was trekking(I think) when I accidentally slipped.

____________________________

___________

Aliens' Attack

This is totally unrelated comic strip. Well, take it as a complimentary one. :P 

So This guy was too impressed with my avatar that it looked totally like me, as he says, he wanted me to make an avatar for him. Well, I couldn't make the exact replica of him. 

And since I had made his avatar, I continued to make a comic strip on him. 

He is actually in US, so thought of relating to it. 

_______________________________

Ajay Kontham © 2013

_______________________________

Idealy Idle.

It was pitch dark, as I  looked out of the foggy window. The rain had made it lusturous and incredibly clean. Predictably, nothing was visible. I lied down back to my too much comfortous sofa while I continued watching the TV. The clock showed nearly 0230 hours. It was last night. I could see the moon, as it was a Lunar day. Huh, anyways I let myself drain away with the battling tv channels as I could not stay on one single channel. The dark room made florescent colors blinking at each second. But who cares, everybody else was asleep. My  eyes are totally glued to the TV, as I was reading the subtitles. Why? I kept the volume to mute, so as not to disturb anybody. 

Suddenly, the wind made a comeback from the early evening blow. Literally, the windows were wide open for circulation of the air, and indeed, I hate Air Conditioner, I prefer sleeping under the fan. I quickly ran to shut them so as to avoid the blasting noise of the windows and the doors. After closing all the wind inlet and probable break-prone windows, I went to my study room where the download of some tv serials and software was going on. And frankly speaking, I haven't switched off the laptop for nearly a fortnight or even more. I lost the count. Well, mine is not a hi-speed broadband so that I could wind up all my bulky downloads in an hour or a day. I checked the status and returned to the TV and continued with the subtitles thing. 

I looked at my cell, while the advertisements were bothering the show, "NO NEW MESSAGES". Later I looked up the FABEBOOK, "NO NOTIFICATIONS" read the tiny blue transparent world picture. Though, I found people online, some 8 to 10 people, I guess none was interested in chatting at this hour of the night and more-over to a boy. HELL NO. I again came back to TV, while the show continued and I had to read real fast as the subtitles were moving very very fast. Later, I switched off the TV, though I wasn't feeling sleepy. I lay down and looked in the darkness of the room. The room was silent, literally meaning no sound of the tv and the flickering florescent light. 

I was led into thinking. Well, actually I haven't used my mind for over a month and to be precise, nearly 40 days. REALLY. I did attend the Industrial Training, but I didn't find anything to get my mind and learn something new. I was least interested in that. Almost the summer vacation is over and the 4th semester year is gonna begin in a week, I don't have a minimum of the tension which my colleagues are having. They worked hard, I could say. They were writing GRE, one of the many competitive exams. But I sat consistently in front of the TV and the laptop and doing the most easiest work ever, NOTHING. 

I recently started a page of my own for the bogus photography with which I am obsessed with. You see, I like publishing and frankly no one gives a s*it about it. But I still persuade them by uploading some of  my favorite pictures which happens to be of the same genre and almost exact location and nearly the same pictures. Well, you could find the page here on the right side. I really like photography, but when ever I find something interesting and fascinating, everything goes the opposite for me. My battery suddenly goes dead before I could even click. And sometimes, I don't even have a camera. And sometimes and most common, people around stare as if like they haven't seen a camera before, or may be probably thinking "What the hell is there that that dude is clicking photos". And moreover I haven't moved of my home, since last month, so I dont have anything fascinating to keep up with my photographic skills ( :P ). 

Well, "What happened to writing, blogging?" . I always wanted to write something new but how could I? I never used my mind, so gradually I lost the lust and the thoughts section of my mind and I guess its quite rusted now? Well, I got some questions for myself.

How many hours do you sleep daily? 

Nearly SIX hours. That's a lot for an INSOMNIAC person.

How may hours I spend on Facebook daily?

5 hours tops. That basically includes all the notification checking and messages, which frankly are zero.

How many hours does you chat shows that you are online?

Almost all the time. I never keep my chat to offline. So was the case fort the past 40 days also. So, it would be 24 x 7 .

 

How many hours do I spend on TV daily?

The rest of the time is for TV only.

How many people on facebook do you think have blocked my updates on their wall?

Nearly 10-15 people. This is a guess. Mostly, this would coincide with reality.

Well, enough questions for today and I got some stories to write. I was just trying to ease my rusted brain and let some thought flow as I write after two months gap. I suppose, I will keep up with my writing and the stories also.