Showing posts with label Judge. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Judge. Show all posts

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Out of Hand!


Things are getting out of hand. Or probably not. But there is something going on these days which could be termed as odd? Don't beat yourself up before I get the chance to shake things down by explaining? Or probably just tell? Explain it is! I am a vigorous writer, not in a good way though. Sorry to disappoint.

I have always been fascinated with caffeine. I get around like 4 times a week to the same coffee shop that is there in my vicinity either it is to read or write or just about anything. So, I am a loner that way. The guy at the coffee shop knows better than I do. He knows me because there is the same person almost every day of the shop. Earlier it was on a rotation basis, I guess, or probably the gaps between the visitations were quite large. Well, that can't be true. But anyway that dude over there knows what I have. I could just walk up to him and saw "My regular please" and I would get it to my table with in 5-10 minutes. Now, the other day I witnessed a problem. My regular that I mentioned earlier didn't include just the kind of coffee. No Sir, No. I don't just satisfy myself with a King size cup of coffee. It has its additions, like a big cake piece/ pastry with extra chocolate syrup (thats' the name and also it changes with the location)  and then something spicy or normal like a French croissant. Has anyone tried that French croissant? It is so soft that it just melts in the mouth. So awesome. What? Yeah, it costs a little too much for too little of a thing(s), but why does this have to be about money? Anyway, as I was saying the problem! My so called regular is apparently very regular that once in a while I drop one or two things but the third one remains constant. But whenever I do that, oh I forgot to mention something. As I enter the shop, the guy behind the counter kind of already has an idea of what I am going to buy. The other guy literally starts preparing the coffee or slicing the cake. I walk up to the counter tell what I wanted to have as if I was trying out something new and he is like mentally praising himself for being right. But whenever I decide to just have one thing and tell the same, he just looks at me as if I forgot something. In the meantime, I think that the computer is just a little bit more time to complete the order. But then he asks me the obvious question, "And Sir, chocolate fantasy with chocolate syrup and that". I turn my lips into an awkward smile and say "No, not today, Thanks!" and he could see his face frown probably he was mentally un-checking the most obvious order. I feel good that he remembers what I have, yeah genius, no kidding, it isn't a inverse relative theory formula (wait, there is no such thing, don't beat yourself up please) but a little bad for disappointing him in some way. But the other day it is again the same routine. The worst of all is when I decide to have just one and tell just that one, but then again he continues to tell the remaining things of the most obvious regular order as he always does when I don't mention it, I get attracted to it then, if I had decided earlier not to have it. This is not good, right? 

Starbucks! The bucks factory. No, not the place were money is created but, collected. It came to Bangalore like an year ago or probably less than that. I was / am a coffee addict as we all know, even that guys at "my" "regular" coffee shop also know plus a few other people, umm, the bottom line is everybody knows. So, I wanted to try this just like I tried at all other coffee shops, most of them since it is not as easy to go around searching for a coffee shop. Wait, nobody does that, right? But I had not been to Starbucks till two weeks prior. I wanted to go, but some circumstantial work or something like that. So I went into the shop and since I had a laptop with me ( a planned coincidence) because well, I wanted to write something. Keeping that mind it might take a while for settling down my mind and then get down to business, I ordered a Cappuccino Grande, the largest cup of the lot. Now, I wanted to spend some time there. But I don't remember saying him that it was a takeaway, but he gave me in a takeaway cup. That is what I hate about exploring places on my own, I have to visit the same place just to get familiar with how the things work there and what to tell. So anyway, I grab my Grande cup after a loud shout of my name along with a couple of sugar packets and head out to the open area just outside the Starbucks shop where the tables were there. I settle myself, open my laptop and pretending to appear busy and "geeky",  though miserably failing and saw a few eyes directed towards me with a question "Is this guy for real?". Oh, I didn't mention that I was trying to act smart and hence dressed according, but I wasn't meeting either of the criteria and hence the awkward eyes towards me. Anyway, I pour two packets of sugar mix it and then close the lid. The takeaway cups come with a lid which has a tiny hole for letting the vapors out and another for drinking. So, I fiddle with my laptop typing something which most didn't make sense, wait, it wasn't English or any language that I know of. After pretending to write for something, I take my grande cup of coffee and take a sip. Only that I didn't take a sip but was greeted with hot something on my stomach. I wasn't quite sure why I wasn't able to take a sip, so I pulled it up a little more and then I realized that I was feeing coffee to my stomach and slowly went down from there. I didn't look up, I didn't move as if I saw some ghost, as if I were dead but in a sitting position. After a  minute or so, I placed to cup as if I had a nice sip of coffee and was pleased with it and pretended to look at my laptop as if I just received an important mail just that very second. I slowly saw up and there were people all around, some passing by, some having coffee, some just sitting. No wonder it was a big mall and this was in the open in the center of the mall just outside the shop. Nobody I could see was laughing or may be they were laughing or I didn't notice properly. I just wiped out as if the stain would just go. Not to mention I looked like I just peed. That damn lid. I did close it but not proper enough, clearly! The rest of the time I just stared at my laptop cursing and my plan to write something just went down the drain again. I did write but it involved more swearing and just F words like the tape stuck at that word in the stereo.

What's more? One last thing about this coffee thing and I am done. At my office there is usually free coffee. Earlier during my training there was a coffee machine in almost every floor of the building and yeah, it was free. Now this coffee machine had various options that we could choose from, like we would just ask the guy at the counter looking at the list of different items available. Exactly the same but self service plus it was totally free. We could have any number of times in a given day, though during trainings most of the time was restricted to the labs and classrooms, but still. But afterwards when I started working in the actual thing, they limited the number of coffee intake. How, you ask! They started this system with a small booklet which contained like 60 odd leafs and that was it for the month. Then the revolution of clean environment BS like Save Paper thing came up, which was a good thing actually since we didn't had to stand in the queue to get that petty small leaflet. Now the policy was to swipe our ID cards and each employee has a limited number of swipes which is 60 per month, no carry forwards no borrows. It is not a shocker when I usually get a mail regarding the same that I am only left with 15 odd swipes after the tenth day of the month. Then again there are various options from which we could choose from. A Bru Coffee which is kind of odd since my organization has a Tata Tea under its pocket but no Tata Coffee. But anyway, I chose that from among other 10 different varieties available there. Looks like, I have become just too obvious these days because even the guy who serves us the after taking our choice of order, I get mine before I even say it. Lucky me, right?

It is quite clear that I am more than a coffee addict. I have succeeded in establishing that with almost everyone even with people across time zones. No wonder there was a story based on me and specifying my encounters with the Coffee shop. Though this has turned out to be something that people nowadays mock me with. Like when they ask what did you do on the weekend, I would probably say that I hung around at the coffee shop most of the time. The next obvious question is all alone? to which my obvious answer is Yeah, which then leads to the primary question or rather a statement "Oh, you are waiting for your dream girl, just like in the story"! No. Because I know that it is most unlikely to happen and my dream girl is not one person to start with, umm, lets not get into the details of it. But come on, where has anyone seen a girl just walking up in the coffee shop and talking to a perfect stranger. However badly I want that to happen, there is no way on gods' green earth that is going to happen. Ever. 
_________________________________________

So, is this going out of hand? Or I am just afraid of change? No, I ain't afraid of no change. Oh God! That sounds horrible! Too much TV *sigh*, I confess! Let me try again. No, I am not afraid of change, it is more concerned about the other things that I am not big of a fan. Though however badly I want to try new things, I can't do without a guide? 'cause mostly it deals with the procedure of how it is done. Last time i ordered a Irish coffee, I had one hell of a time drinking that one large beer-cup-with-narrowing-bottom cup or whatever it is called.

Monday, March 17, 2014

The Conclusions.

People are amazing. Just simply amazing. I have strived to understand them. No, please don't get me wrong. I am no alien here. I have always tried to be able to understand what they say when they say. Oh no, I ain't no perfect. But let's keep me aside for some time. Its not I, that jump into conclusions. Is that right? Does anyone agree to that ? Or do you want me to point it out. Dude, come on. Please, don't kill my vibe.

And this is partly related to girls. Oh boy, girls. GIRLS! (with an exclamation mark). Okay. Have you ever seen a guy not talking about girls in a daily routine? Umm, would you call him gay if he didn't? Probably. But there might be some people who might be so busy with themselves and their lives and work and untold reasons that they overlook to talk about girls. Hmph. I try to imagine such a guy. All get is a alien picture with round big eyes staring right back at me. (Aaah, Not a pretty picture) *Snaps out of it* . Unless a guy is busy playing some fascinating game, a major portion of the time is dedicated to girls, either it is how to win them over, or learn some cheesy flirtations or whatever, to impress perhaps! Am I wrong? 

The whole debate of the girls surprises me (especially when guys have). When I say surprises me, I mean like one of the moments when you turn your head and accidentally spill a little coffee because you forgot that you were having a coffee and leave an expression of "What the hell did I just listen to?". We might not debate, but there sure is a lot to talk about. And I wonder why we keep our minds full with the thoughts of the inevitable. Look, that girl in the blue dress is never gonna look at us, keep aside the smile you were expecting. That girl in the bus who did smile at you may be was thinking about something funny and you were just in the way and you misunderstood that. That girl with the blue eyes was so friendly that you started falling for her, but come on lets wake up to reality. But still a little hope has never killed anyone nor did it hurt anyone. So, when people admire or crack jokes or discard them for their looks, it is not such a big thing. But it sure is when people start making conclusions or should I put them as vague comments about them. One can never know a person by how they look, by how they talk, by how they walk, whatnot. If that is the case then GOD made a pretty big mistake by making people different from each other. Seriously, if God is the creater of all life forms he made a big mistake. He made each one different. The purpose or his intention may be to live in harmony but it's people we are talking about. They judge. They draw conclusions. They are the worst critics ever known. They spread what they think is right. People.*Sigh* 

So the other day when a friend asked my casuals talks with a few friends as flirtation, I was taken aback. I have never even thought that this kind of thought might cross somebody's mind. But it did! And I didn't see this coming. Believe me, I am no good at flirting, because it sounds so stupid, like really stupid. So, when I was put in a spotlight, I contemplated the ideology of the people. People! How did I not see this coming, I wondered. Then I got down into drawing the points that might lead people to think like that in the first place. 

When a friend asked me about a girl whom they saw hanging out with a friend of hers whether that guy is her boyfriend or not. I was like, "Why do you want to know?" Guys are so obsessed with girls, are they not? I asked myself, why? I think I might have an answer to it. 

When a friend eavesdropped on me who caught me talking to an old friend from college, he responded like, "Oh her, isn't she a bi*ch? She used to hang out with *so-so* guy. If I were you, I would stay away from her! You know right what they did!" I really didn't know what they did because it was none of my business. And dude, what the f**k? . Come on, seriously. First of all, you don't get to pass judgments on someone you barely know. And second of all, why do you even care what she does! 

When a person is friendly with another, does that mean that he/she is hitting on her/him. The people are crazy for sure. We sure have to draw a line over here and put an end to this crazy think tank of these people. 

Like I said, people. They think more than they should about people they know the least about. To put it bluntly, it is none of their god damn business, but they make it their business. Is it always about love/infatuation? Does it always get down to it? Or is it people being jealous? That could be the only explanation. Else why would anyone even bother about others? Why can't just people leave others alone? Why do they have to think about them, about what they do, about whom they hang out with, about whom they love? Is it their business or work or part time job? No. But people make it their business, more like a money making part time job, only that it doesn't fetch even a single penny, nor is their mind at rest because they will keep banging their head about what they might be doing. 

I'm no different. But I don't go to the extremes of what people think. I am basically a shy person and don't open up often. And I find it rather interesting to talk to a complete stranger than to a person whom I know. Because again people judge. So, I have a bunch of people whom I talk to, either it is on blog or twitter or through comments, and I found it rather fascinating. And all this is on the social platform. If any of the people whom I talked to over the internet/blog/twitter meet me, I am sure they will put a question mark face  and wonder whether I am the same person they talked to. 

And yeah, I do draw conclusions. I am no perfectionist. But I could gladly say, I am little different. So, when I come across some person however random they might be, I do pass judgement. I would probably say, she got nice eyes. "She has beautiful hair, may be she should let it loosed." "She looks perfect in so many ways." "God, why are you so unfair to me but beyond fair to them?". "She has....", wait a second, are you judging me now? You were, weren't you? Probably thinking, what a creepy guy this person is, or what is wrong with him, or something? And did I just mention your comments as well? Ah, great! I thought I was the good person here. Clearly, I couldn't prove that to myself. *Sigh*

People jumping into conclusions and judging others, Stop. Why do you even bother? (yeah, yeah, I am telling myself also.) Seriously though, you have no business or right to judge or pass comment on them, (got it boss! Can we just end this now?) 

P.S. : I just changed my display name. I know I am so random and manipulative and unsteady and you name it! I know that it sounds kind of crazy and stupid, but lets see how it turns out to be. 
- The Blue Phoenix (AK)
#27

Thursday, May 9, 2013

The Rogue.

Day 8, Wednesday
A piece of advice you have for others. Anything at all.
_____________________________

Well, lets be clear here. Advice? Me ? Yeah, Yeah, I too am laughing. Let me try. But also get this that I am the last person who should be giving any advice, keep aside the good or the bad thing. 

The recent incidents have triggered a lot of thoughts in my mind and they keep revolving. Yes, this is about the the present day society and the atrocities that are happening. 

The Judge : So, we have to ability to think and say our thoughts. That's the freedom in democracy. When I hear someone judging someone, I wonder who are they to even do that? I mean why does one even have to think about others, what they do,  what they wear, what they will do; when one has a swarm of problems with themselves to take care of. And one just can't go up to them and say, 'Buddy, Why don't you mind your own Business?". People don't listen to that advice. Who doesn't know to mind their own business? I know, you know, everybody does. Then why don't people do that? Are they bored to themselves that they have to think about others? May be that could be the case, else why would anyone do what they do? We might have heard this from a lot of people, 'Before you judge other people, look at yourself'. And let me say that we are not what we look like when we see ourself. We pretend, we act, we despise, we conspire, we do every shitty thing to make ourself look better. (Okay, you can replace we with my name). And at the end of the day, we are just the same old person putting our mask beside on the bed table. So, don't you dare judge. Yeah, I know you already know not to, but its human tendency to do that, though one doesn't want to. 

The Pervs
Dear people full of shit, 
Why can't you be just some nice guy admiring the beauty or if that's not your way the mind works then, why can't you just ignore? People have the right to do whatever they like. Again you are no judge of anything and your opinions don't matter to anyone. That being said, you just can't blurt out every fcuk'd up thing that goes in your mind. You see someone nice and you can just admire. Why is there a need to pass irrelevant and inappropriate remarks? Is it so hard to stfu and don't care? 
@The IPL frenzy guys : You watch an exciting match, that's well and good. You bet on the players, that's illegal but could be given a pass since you lose most of the times. The match is over. Now deal with your money, will ya ? But no, you have to watch the aftermath when the anchor pitches onto the field describing what a wonderful match it was.. Now this is also fine. Do you stop there? No. What does this even mean : Hey look at the angle from which the camera guy is shooting.... (Damn! I can't say anything further) . Well my friend, it is not the camera guy but you thinking that in a perverted sense. Please grow up. And don't call yourself mature unless you learn to respect others. I don't know whether you know how to respect others and other's wishes also or not? No, I won't confront you on this or any issue. Because I know you will backfire at me. Well, that's what we get for being nice and telling that you are doing wrong. You have a best degree, a decent paying job. Good for you. But that doesn't make you a decent man/person unless you act like one. 
Sincerely
Some Helpless-Angry Guy

The Almighty :
Dear God, 
When there is good in this world, I don't understand why there is bad. Please don't tell me it is to maintain balance. Or is me saying that. Whatever! If that's not true, then my question still stands firm - WHY ? May be if there is all good, there might be a possibility that people won't come to you. Is that it? Or is it again me saying that? So, don't let me keep saying things that you don't want to hear. Do something then. Well, start with me, if you are confused from where to start. 
Sincerely, 
Some Guy in Pain

The Rogue AK

Oh boy! That turned out to be very violent one. Well this is me being/going Rouge. You shouldn't be surprised if you find a few guys in the hospital claiming to have been beaten by some helpless-angry guy. Okay, the last point, I added after writing all this. I think I better stop here before I go totally rogue and god really takes up my advice and starts with me. Phew! That's scary enough for one day. I never knew I had these thoughts in my mind. Okay, I was just saying to be nice. My mind is filled with such thoughts. What I did't know was that it could be used for giving advice? Wait! Does this post even sound like giving advice or just venting out the anger. Please help me out here, I think I am confused.

P.S. : Now the topic. I have no idea why I even selected that to be as the title.

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Bangalore, Karnataka, India
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