A Joke! #Z2AChallenge

A Joke, not really!
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"I joked for 45 days. If that doesn't prove that I am a great comedian, nothing else will".

- ak

I was busy staring at her trying my best to keep a straight face and still admire her and not slip into some day dreams. It was the English class and the class was sort of silently reading a book, probably the next chapter in the textbook and be prepared for any surprise questions that might come our way. We, as usual were fooling around and passing chits with jokes or comments, which basically read as 'If you read this you are stupid'. So here's the deal : Passing chits was sort of cool. We didn't have SMS to text the guy in the first row while we were in the last or middle row. So we came up with the idea of conveying "important" messages over chits folded so that the people on the way cannot read it. But the people in between passing were getting curious what these guys were talking so back and forth. They would just peak in to look what on earth is so important. And they do. Because curiosity is what didn't it actually killed the cat. Anyhow they come to face with a realization that the guys made this person stupid, literally. "If you are reading this, you are stupid". Oh boy, that burned. Some take it casually and while others shout "Ma'am", proving what we said the right thing about it.

So, we were in the process of trolling people while I silently stole some glimpses of the big time crush. Oh boy, the heart raced whenever I talked to her. But all this daydreams and fooling around came to an abrupt halt when the teacher shouted my name out loud. I was in deep shit, and I know it.

The Summer vacation ( also known as spring break) passed by like one month ago. Usually the vacation assignments are supposed to be submitted just after returning from the vacation. But our English teacher kind of went on with the usual curriculum and after nearly a month, she shouted Assignments. To our amazement, we realised that we had to do an assignment during out vacation. It wasn't so hard actually. The task was to write a diary entry for the nearly over a month vacation. "Bring it on Monday", she said which lifted our spirits a bit. Because if she had told to bring it the next day itself, we would have died. The whole weekend, we wrote the 45 day vacations. I had forgotten most of it. The reason would be that all those 45 days felt like a day. So, I did exactly that. The same routine I copied and write for the while duration of the vacation, cleverly skipping some days and adding something I didn't even do during the vacation. 

"AJAY!" *with and agitated look* (I was already scared what I did wrong. I mean I did write the whole diary of 45 days just in 3 days. I might have made some terrible mistakes. The worst being it was the same thing for 45 pages) ( Now you might be thinking that I'm a blogger, so writing that diary wouldn't be that difficult of a task and it could easily be termed as a piece of cake. I will just go ahead a throw water all over your opinion by saying I was a blogger then. I was the last person you would want to talk to in English or write. Not that I have improved w bit over the years. But don't you start judging).  I was shit scared already and the whole class of 38 people were staring at me. "What's the spelling of jogging?"

I used to think I was good at spelling the  English words. How hard could it it be, right? Just break the word down by the syllable and spell it. For example alphabet : al-pha-bet. Lets take another example, joking : jo-king. So, apparently I went for joking for 45 days during my summer vacation, every morning. I started off with one lap of joking and gradually increased to 3 laps of joking. It used to tire me a lot, but still it was for fitness and I started enjoying it. Okay, may be I was stretching it a bit too much, but that was the gist.

I spelled the word "jogging" for my English teacher, the exact same way in the example above. As you might have guessed, I did a terrible mistake. I pronounced the word jogging so wrongly, it made her furious. So she asks the girl between me and her to spell it and give a tight one to me. She spells it correctly, of course and being a little hesitant to give that tight one, she gives a slow one. 

"I didn't quite hear it", says the English teacher. So the girl gives me another one, a bit more harder. I was glad I didn't have any beef with this girl. Or else she would have completely enjoyed it twice. I was already numb when I heard my name resonate in the classroom earlier. I didn't even feel a thing, not the first time, neither the second time. I am tough that way. Not only did I spell the word wrong, it was sort of quite embarrassing, that too in from of my crush(es).

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#Z2AChallenge,

because I can spell the alphabets in reverse.

#Joke #Jog #School #RealTalk

#AlphabetM #LetterM #Day14 ( Day 16)

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This is written under the series "Real Talk" wherein I finally talk about my real life and share some (not so) scandalous short (and sweet!) stories. To follow from the start click on the "Real Talk" label below for all posts in this series. The initiative is first started by IQ, who blogs at "Supercalifragilisticsexyalidocious". Do check out this blog, for some more awesomeness.

Requiem. #Z2AChallenge

Formulas were hard to remember, but she wasn't.

ak

#RealTalk

She ran towards me with a smile that could light up the entire world. We played a game called touch-me-not. Yes, I made up the name because I don't remember what it was called back then. I think the apt name would be 'Catch-me-if-you-can'. She smelled of jasmine. Well, that was her name after all. I had a struggle with my speaking as I was completely unaware of the language of communication - Hindi and English. I think I liked her. I probably liked a lot of people. I am a liker. But I liked her a bit more, may be. After all I was in second standard, and what did I know about infa...infatu...infatuation or luv...love, as we so proudly tag to everyone we see. It might have been a dream, it might have been very real, and I would chose it to be real, every single time. I clearly have a very bad memory. 

The next year the students were jumbled and we were put in different sections. I didn't like the change at all. Though I don't understand the need for changing the section. Though it wasn't a daily thing, I used to see her in the park where we used to play in the evenings. Can you believe it, the school used to get over by 2. 2 O' CLOCK! Now, I stay at office until 9 PM and then a hour long journey. What have we come to? So, anyway there was another girl from my section who used to sit on the other side of the class. So it was like this : I used to sit in the middle row while the former girl used to sit in the row on the left while the latter one to my right. I still don't know what was wrong with me at that time, it was her birthday. I was kind of excited and dragged my mom to the shop to buy a good gift. Because one time I wanted a scented eraser and I kind of borrowed a few coins from the jar which had coins but got caught because the Natraj eraser that my mom used to buy didn't have a scent to it and it sure wasn't blue. There was no jar on the fridge from that day. So yeah, my dad didn't trust his finances with me. But I had an excel sheet ready to help them manage better. If only! I don't remember what I actually bought. Probably, it was a book, because that's what kids love, right? Books! If I remember if correctly, it was a book along with something else. The something else is something I am not so sure what it was. The birthday was great. Okay okay, I don't actually remember how it was but I believe it was great. I used to see her occasionally. I believe I have never interacted much

We flew to a new place the next year and as new it was for me to see the new people as it was for them. But the class had a catch, quite a bit prejudiced, if I may say. There was a group where only the intelligent were part of. I realized this after my first half yearly exams, when the guy who used to hang out with the other guys like us started hanging out with a group which had the brilliant people of the class. Whoa, that's betrayal man. They used to have lunch together and play together. So, here's the funny thing : Whenever there was a games hour, there was basically three groups : The boys, the girls and the alphas (Yes, I am bad at choosing names). The alphas had a specific number of people and if I am not wrong it was eight, lets stick with eight. So, on a particular day one of the group member used to get absent due to some reason, they actually borrowed one of the people from the other two groups. They can't play their intelligent people game with the seven people. They just need to have a perfect number. And who wouldn't want to be a part of the alpha? Anyhow, I am not going to pull them any down because the "leader" of the alpha was such a cute person. Believe me, she was hot for a 4th standard. The mediocre people like me were always on the lookout for impressing them. This one time I think I did a great thing, but I believe the right word is I made a fool of myself. Have you heard of paper rockets? The one the used to have a paper folded and a three winged fan and would rotate when there's wind. I was one of the very few people who knew how to make it. My lunch breaks in the previous city came in handy. I realized that the pretty girl in the class interested in owning one. So, I made two and promptly put it in her desk, one for her and the other for her friend, because why not. I came back to my place and was looking from the corner of my eye as they came back. They saw those paper things, examined it, gave a peek at me and mumbled something to each other while I was acting as if I was reading something. And no, I never talked to them again. And no, I never made it to the Alpha team. See, I am not intelligent after all. Wait, you knew that already, didn't you.

{ If you want to read more under this topic, go to my website and subscribe and like and comment. No, just comment below. }

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Memories are a beautiful place to be.

#Z2AChallenge,

because I can spell the alphabets in reverse.

#RunDown #AlphabetR #LetterR #Day8

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This is part of the series "Real Talk" intiated by the ever so fabulous IQ, wherein I talk about my real life(as if I haven't already) and share some (not so, or so) scandalous short (and not-at-all-sweet! and long) stories. To follow from the start click on the "Real Talk" label below for all posts in this series.

Break a leg.

You will not know how weak you are, unless you break a leg or two.

-ak

There is always a thing or two or perhaps a word or may be a sentence that gets stuck in our head. Yes, like a song. You got that right. So, let's say if I said "I 'hate' you" all and also say "I 'love' you", Now, which one do you think has the most impact and you will ponder or may be even pester me. I'm one hundred percent sure that the majority of votes will be on the former side. Because that word, that feeling really gets stuck because it stings a bit. Now I'll be labelled as heartless, sociopath and a very cold person. But I also said the later, but who really cares, right?

Before we proceed, I didn't mean what I said just above. I was using it to make a point as an example. Coming to talking some real stuff, if you are reading my blog, either by choice or even if you have a gun to your head, you might have come across the 'About Me' widget on the side of the blog. There is a particular word called 'Dance'. If you have just thought it was some random babbling and boasting, you are absolutely right. But then again, why do I have to lie? 

I have always loved dance and always gave the world's best performance in closed doors and under the stream of water, while showering I mean. But being the socially introvert and naturally unskilled, was never the front runner for stage performances or even group performances. But, I would have won an award in 'So, you think you can dance', of course if they were hosted by me and I was the judge, jury and the executioner...wait, this isn't a court. I mean judge, audience and the performer. Having said that, it was my seventh grade. And being the first batch of the school, the school was implementing new things, experimenting and adapting. So, a new period was introduced - Dance. While some were excited, some of my friends just discarded it with a "Phew, whatever! We can have better periods than dance. And dance is so boring, so lame. I can't even move my hand." and I repeated the exact same words, even though it killed. It killed because the class was Hip-Hop ( say whaaaat!?) and I saw my awards crumble and melt away through my hands like sand on a beach. If it was classical, I would have been at par with these guys. So the deal was that they will select a random few based on the performance, which they will guide and form a hip hop dance team. Sweet, right?

It was a Thursday and we had our last session of the day as Dance. After lunch, everyone were already shy and feeling awkward and were planning to not-get-selected as the dance group required 4 people from each class - 2 guys and 2 girls. And we have decided not to embarrass ourselves by getting selected. And the final hour dawned upon us. As decided, a few people intentionally wronged the simple moves. It was so intentional that the instructor also knew that these guys were fooling around and intentionally did those. So the instructor made them do again. And it was my turn and you know what, I forgot about the deal we made- about being intentionally bad. Ok ok, I know what you are thinking that I am claiming myself to be a great dancer or atleast boasting about it. And my intentionally bad performance will haunt me for the rest of my life. Let me clear something up, I suck at dancing, like on a Richter scale you would get a rating of 22.5 because even the earth would crumble and plead me to stop. Wait.. Where was I? Yes, I forgot about the intentional deal and was normally trying to perfect the steps following the rhythm of  1..2..3..4..1..2..3..4. The selection process ended and only two guys were selected and one girl. Those girls really must have put up an ultimatum for their intentional deal. And guess who was not in the the dancing trio? Did you say me? I am disappointed. But like they say all good things end, we never even got to the second class of this. One of the instructor had an accident and it got sidetracked and eventually forgotten. And, I never got such a chance ever again, but I always felt that if I could have trained somehow, may be YouTube, I could have picked up some. Now imagine the YouTube through dialup. Yeeeaaahh, not gonna happen. 

Wait, you were saying something? That it's not too late? I agree, it's not. But, I am more concerned about you all. What if after my mind blowing performance you pluck out your eye balls? Too graphic, right? Well, now you know why I don't dance, for you people.

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Written under the #RealTalk started by IQ on her blog. 

9 Day Streak.

Day 23, Thursday

Things you've learned that school won't teach you

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The things that I was so intelligent to  learn on my own that school was unable to teach me? Let me point out one thing when I am on this topic. School has taught me a lot of things. But the thing that I don't use half of it, or should I say anything at all is another story altogether. So, what have I learned on my own? Frankly speaking, I don't recollect anything as such. Or is it something like I learnt everything on my own which I wasn't able to do the same at school. The pin-pointing is something a little too difficult. Because if not all, a little bit role is played by school also. After all, I ain't no genius. 

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Day 24, Friday

Your top 3 worst traits

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1. Less Talking : I usually talk. But I do that on a very calculated, or should I say less than necessary. I really don't know the reason. I just happened to be like this. And if you comparing me(outside this blog-space) with this person(again me) who is just writing and think that 'This guy is a chatterbox here on his blog, so he should be the same everywhere' , just let me stop you there. I am exactly the opposite. I find it better to exaggerate things here that are not totally present in reality. So, you see, you can assume that I am telling lies half of the time, or all the time. You caught me. 

So, last weekend I went to a movie with a new friend. And he offered me a lift back home. After the movie, while we were returning he asked 'You talk less. Why?' To which I replied the same answer the millionth time that I am like that only. But he didn't stop there. He continued saying, 'Are you having any troubles, life problems or something like that', and before I could say anything, he continued saying, 'We all have problems'. I just laughed and replied that there was no such thing going on with me. 

2. Stage-Fear : I guess I have talked about this a hundred times over. Consider this as the worst trait ever. I have tried my best and that turned out to be the worst. May be given some time and repeated exposure may help, but as of now, I still suck.

3. The People Talk : I have a habit of writing almost everything that comes to my mind. I repeat everything. So, sometimes I write centering some person or the other and explaining my side of the story how I feel and believe me I don't hold anything back. So, I an idiot that way. I don't intend to change myself. So, my advice - Stay away from me. 

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Day 25, Saturday

Something someone told you about yourself that you'll never forget (good or bad)

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Someone always tells something or the other about me. And believe me when I say it is not good, all the time. But that something that will never forget? Nothing rings a bell. Sorry about that.

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Day 26, Sunday

Something you read online. Leave a link and discuss, if you'd like.

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Come on. Not again. I read a lot of things online. As a matter of fact I do everything online. I don't even read the daily newspaper that comes to my doorstep every morning. So, when I do the reading thing, which is practically online all the time, I am bound to stumble on something fascinating all the time. And if I were to link all those fascinating things that I came across online, this would be a never ending post. Believe me on that. You must see my bookmark list. That was supposed to easily access the links, but the list is that long that I have to scroll up and down like a hundred times to actually come to the one I was looking for. So, you get the point right. Again, I have to apologize here not being helpful to this topic in any way. 

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Day 27, Monday

A letter to your readers

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Dear Readers, 

First of all let me thank you for being so generous to drop by my blog every other day and read. And thank you for leaving your precious thoughts on whatever I write. I agree with you that what I write isn't the best of all, that I am still learning and that your comments help me to better myself. And in the course of time, I would like to better than what I a m now at writing. 

Now, I sincerely apologize for not being able to drop by your blog regularly, and in the recent past I haven't even visited any of the blogs at all. I regret that a lot. I try to make the best of time to read as much as possible but the thing that I myself am unable to write a post concludes that time is not on my side at all. 

Sincerely, 

The Guy-failing-to-read-your-posts.

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Day 28, Tuesday

 Only pictures

 This is what goes in my mind all the time......

Inside my mind - The Peace. 

The Rising Star.

Now, you must have realized that it is so wrong to ask a photographer to add photos. Because there are so many photos in the hard disk that it makes very difficult to pick one and just post here. I could go on and on and transfer all my GigaByte(s) worth of photos and that it would be too difficult for the server to handle that huge data flow by the server. So, I am leaving here with three. Okay, don't ask what? why? I just picked up randomly.

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Day 29, Wednesday

Five songs or pieces of music that speak to you or bring back memories. Use Grooveshark or YouTube to include them in the post

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Sad : Blues, Instrumental

Normal : Rock +  Hip Hop  + Electronic + Metal + Rap + Pop

Happy : Blues + Rock +  Hip Hop  + Electronic + Metal + Rap + Pop

Almost all that comes in that category. Are you feeling that I am just impossible, that I am just at all clear at any time. 

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Day 30, Thursday

 React to this term: Letting Go

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Recently, I have acquainted myself with a word which shouldn't be used. Though my resolution does say not to use that particular word. But yeah, F#*k. So, when someone tells me let go of something, seriously, F4 you. (Ok, I deciphered it here.)

Now on a serious note. You were being serious in the previous para, how much more serious do you want to be? Does that involve shouting at the top of your voice? or may be write in bold letters increasing the font size, huh? Letting Go. I don't usually do that so easily. Because when I start something, I get a little attached to it, even if it is nothing or doesn't need hmm..erm.. that much attention, you can say. So, letting go is not my forte. It will take a lot time to completely let go. 

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Day 31, Friday

 A vivid memory

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I am sorry. But who am I? I don't well remember my name. *Thinks hard* . *Thinks really hard*. Sorry, just can't recollect myself or who I am. So, when you ask about my vivid memory - which memory were you talking about? How will the people (the readers) possible know what your memory is? Dumbass. 

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Spill the beans.

Day 10, Friday

Most embarrassing moment (s). Spill. 

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Ah! I was just trying to run away from this question. I tried almost everything to dodge and hide away somewhere deep just to avoid this question, or lets say this topic. I am still thinking whether I should just spill them out or give it a pass. Because if it's one, I wouldn't even have had this discussion in my mind. On thinking really hard and banging my head on the wall, I think I will spill. 

1 .The Wrongly Accused : It sometimes happens that we are in the middle of something we don't want to be, but unfortunate circumstances make us to be there. Or in most cases we aren't even aware of something that has happened. And then suddenly we see some fingers pointing at us. Well, I am in a state of confused dilemma looking at the fingers being pointed at me and the reason behind it. When I accustom myself with the knowledge of those pointing hands, I feel like When did that happen and why are even pointing at me? I disagree with their accusations and try to jump into a safe land, but those people keep pulling down. Similar things happened to me.

a. Some of the guys, friends took something of like a tazo (heard of them? I guess you have-those Pokemon thingy on round or rectangular cards of plastic a few years back). I reason was like he was being overly smart and pissing off these guys in every way possible.  And I happened to the spectator of that and that these guys were my friends, the blame game started once the victim reached his home. Unfortunately, for me, that guys' parents are acquaintance of my parents and they lived down the road. And one more thing, this guy is way younger than us, like 4-5 years younger. So, this guy brings their parents to my house. I was shocked and they accuse me of stealing of something that I was least interested in. These are some desperate times when I try to justify myself, when that kid starts crying, crying over a few freaking tazo. And I am being dragged into the middle for questioning. 

b. It was lunch time. As usual some of the guys were playing in the classroom, throwing things at others like of stuff. A while later the Principal enters the class and address the few of the people to get out of the class. What happened was one of the guy who threw a chalk ended up someone's tiffin box. And I had no idea about that ever happening in the first place. I was just aware that people were throwing chalk pieces at each other. Again I am in the fix and had to deal with the Principal for something I didn't even do. And then there was this punishment to stand for the whole day. Totally insane on their part to not to know the exact deal over here.

These were a little uncalled for circumstances and that I have been a victim of the same. Moving on.

2. We were supposed to write a diary for each day spent in the summer vacation. I was so involved in doing mostly nothing and enjoying this doing nothing thing that I totally forgot to write the assignment for the summer vacation. The summer vacation ended and a week later we were supposed to submit the day to day diary for like 30-45 days. Oh, cr@p! I thought, I didn't write a single thing till that day. So within the next few days, I scribble all the way and submit it. Then, the teacher takes some time to read each and everyone's so called diary entry and then my book comes up. I made a small mistake, or rather a little big one, or whatever. I got a spelling wrong. And I kind of repeated the same thing in most of the pages. Because I thought that was the right spelling. So, what do I get for that? ...Umm...er... A slap, from a girl in my class. That's insane,  right? Okay, now don't ask what was the word which was wrongly written. 

I guess that's enough for now. I will write along the remaining ones in the posts to come. I usually do that, don't I? Now I am thinking why I had to reveal these things now. Hmph.