"Houston, we have a problem!"

Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder. I always liked this quote. Everyone has a unique quality that they possess and not everybody sees it. It always comes to the other person how they perceive and interpret things. I do that almost all the time. I perceive the things as they are and in my mind I interpret what I have seen. Do I stop there? No, I take a step forward and try to connect the dots, only that there are no dots to connect. And what do I do, I create the dots. A story for each dot and what is left for me to do is to just join then. Eventually, after a lot of creating and joining the dots, I end up intermingling them. Like the one you find in your pocket, yes, the earphones. And in the process of setting those intermingled lines, I end up messing it up. Eventually, after to much hard work and whatnot, I wake up. " Wow, that was a beautiful dream", I react to the morning light preventing me to open my eyes. A moment later, that dream just fades like the million other dreams that faded away. Or darn, I hate that feeling. 

What I hate more is when I am in that spot where I want to do something and I am just not able to. The reason, you ask? If I had known, I would be trying to battle it, wouldn't I? To escape all this melodrama, I turn to fiction. Lets's write some fiction, let me just create stuff out of thin air, or may be break?, or may be I will fly or, perhaps die. But I will live, in words, for eternity.The pen is refilled with new ink and it beams with uber freshness to let the beholder exploit it. The hourglass is turned upside down. A few moments passes by, the pen firmly between the fingers wait patiently in silence. The hourglass is turned over a hundred times now. The ink feels disappointed, drying in the thoughts that never made a move, the pages left hungry for the precious touch. Progressively, or perhaps with no progress, the sky loses the crimson red only to be followed by the dazzling starry night who lay in the soft clouds in anticipation to be etched, or be an inspiration. Like a kid eagerly waiting for a story to be told, they wait with hands on their cheeks. Patiently. Slowly it also fades as the slim streak of light make its presence over the horizon. I rub my eyes to the soft awakening from the beautiful dream, to be crafted on the eagerly waiting pages. 

As a last resort, I bury myself in the pages of a book, the world of the written word.Fascinated is too little of a word to be able to comprehend that feeling. It is much more than that. Though it doesn't take long, when I want to be a creator of a tale that lingers in the sub conscious. I try to find words in everything. Everything I see, I feel needs to be put down, put on paper. Every walk I take becomes a narration of the story that was thus far imprinted, only to be faded in the misty wind that blew. But that side of the mind which speaks inside describing in words, striking, rewriting whatever is seen never leaves me. Admiration takes a front seat when the eye catches a beauty followed by the words that silently try to tell a tale. But then " staring" is not advisable. They don't understand that I was admiringrather than staring. As the only remedy for it being "keeping it to myself", I am bound to withdraw myself to something called imagination. I let it drive its course. But the fuel, the fuel of inspiration is empty desolate.

I still try to let the thoughts take the shape of the vessel of imagination. Usually, I'm an addicted to the motion pictures. I claim myself to be a photographer, but the world- karma-whatever-whoever says otherwise. Anyway, there is a fascination in the those pictures as they capture the moment in a frozen version. A moment which has a story to tell. Well, being the inquisitive creature that I am, I am bound to learn the stories they sing. So, don't mind me pondering over those stories in the confinement of my mind. And like I said, the motion pictures, they have a different view. When the books are adapted into movies, or even if it their original adaptation, someone has to bring those words into life, drag into their world and let the people see things the way they see. Isn't that great. And what do I do? In my sub conscious mind, I re-write the story in my own words and I look for the details to be put in alphabets and words. I observe the details. I create new stories, I try to find that inspiration that I have been missing. And by the end of the movie, I don't really know the story of the movie as I was more into the screenplay, the characters, their voices, the background score, the dress, the expression of the people, almost everything but the story. And what am I left with? You see those casualties that get caught up in the crossfire, what is their story? The main lead, the hero takes the revenge or puts an end to (almost ) all evil. He stays happily ever after, unless of course there is a sequel. But those nameless people who are caught in the between, what about them? What happens if they die for no reason, what goes around in their family, what course of action they will take? No body really thinks about them. "That's the price they have to pay". "A war has casualties". "There is nothing that can be done!" The just fade away, don't they? Forgotten! Thats' exactly what would happen if we are the by-standers in our story! 

I think too much, don't I? Leaving all the necessary things that need attention. I run after the things out of my reach and I get tired real easy, may be its the breakfast routine that I don't follow daily. But, this is a problem, right? Houston, we do have a problem! A real one.

That 'thing' in Nothing.

A mishap.

It was midnight, ten minutes past twelve. The cold wind sneaked into the warmth of my room rendering it a cold compelling me to slide under the sheets. I was writing, as usual burning the midnight oil. I was sitting there covered in blankets to keep me warm, snuck my hands out to write. Just as then, the Internet goes down. Flash back 10 minutes minus one: The WiFi in the room is dead slow as someone had used up all the data for the month. What the hell is he even downloading? Its' not even 10 days and the Internet is at snail's space. Wait, the snail will be faster than my Internet speed. Just as then, the download speed boosts up to 2 MBPS. Holy umm wow, I put 3 movies in download in a split second and open my Blogger draft to complete what I had started a week ago after being inspired by a fellow blogger's post. Ten minutes plus one later : Just as then, the internet goes down and I immediately feel that void. That emptiness. I lost the flow of words and my mind went blank. Ok, I am exaggerating, but the situation was almost similar. The following day someone breaks the news that some may I quote 'Idiot' has cuts all the cables running from above their apartment. Now, who is that stupid? Three days down,still no internet and no tv. And there again, I really felt that void. And it was the very reason why I couldn't read anyone's blog or complete any of my drafts. 

Keep Counting 

Washing clothes has never been fun even when there was a machine to do all the work. Why? Because there is a greater evil called laziness and a much greater devil called procrastination. Yeah, I am full of both of it. So the last week, I fought my demons and finally made my way to the mighty (read : dumbass because it doesn't work when I need it to - as if it is programmed : if Ajay : Take a vacation) machine, I mean dragged myself and stuffed it with all my clothes and fast forward one hour, it was done. Phew! Later that evening, I collected all my clothes threw them on my bed and slept on my bed that night by pushing them to the corner. But the next day I had to make my clothes. Then when I was almost done, I was pairing my socks. Sock 1, no match found. Sock 2, no match found. Sock 3. Sock 4. Sock 5. Sock 6. Sock 7. Sock 8. Sock 9. Sock 10, Yay! Finally, the first match. I checked it all over again, if I made a mistake while pairing. Nope. I didn't. I have 9 single socks without a matching sock. What the hell, right!? What was I thinking when I was buying these many socks in the first place? But even more alarming question is where are my remaining socks? Now, I wear different colored socks these days, till the day I find its actual matching pair. Well, I could buy another new pair of socks. But then again, HOW MANY SOCKS WILL I BUY? 

The Kick.

I have this drug almost on a daily basis. But its not everyday that I get the much needed kick. Wait, before you get into any conclusions or assumptions, I am talking about caffeine, as in coffee. Yeah, you could burst your thought bubbles now. So the other day, I had my Caffeine infused drink and I was hyper, may be coffee with extra sugar was to blame. I had a sudden burst of thoughts, pretty good ones though. Instead of creating notes of it (on my blogging notebook, yes sir I have one) with the important points so that I could build the rest of the content, I decided to go back to my room and start writing those incredible thoughts on my laptop and immediately post it. Mind you, I was feeling that certain kick. I was walking, but the routine was monotonous so I decided to change the way I walk. I started walking backwards. Well, I double checked the road and it was empty. So, I was there walking from one street light to another backwards. I also added certain catwalks and not to mention the moonwalks. And then I stumbled on a stone and I had to turn around only to find three guys staring at me. I think one of them was holding a mobile taking a video. Did you get any video? No? May be he was from my apartment. Remember? Someone cut the cables! Hope the video gets deleted somehow! Anyway, I didn't look up and brisk walked back to my room. Oh, that kick wore out, alright. And so did that burst of incredible thoughts. 

An Advice.

One of my colleague has a knack for speaking his mind, which is a good thing, but he doesn't think before saying something. It all comes back to him a good hour later and pesters the person next to him asking him whether it was the right thing he said. A few weeks back he was again telling one his many theories of what he might do, he realized that he totally forgot to mention one story of his friend. Now, his close friend from his town with whom he usually hangs around whenever he visits his home town is was kind of AWOL. The reason for his friends' MIA condition was that he eloped with a girl. Now he was in his early twenties almost his age, while she is a minor ( sixteen years old). The rumor has that they both were in love and they eloped. Now as my colleague is a good friend of the guy in limelight, everybody was calling him if he had any idea whether the guy might be. The guys' father was even begging him to tell if he had contacted my colleague. But he didn't and my colleague had no idea about him even doing this until he started receiving calls. Since she is a minor, it would come under the kidnapping case. That's not the whole story. A week or so earlier all this happened, the guy called my colleague and confessed that he was in love while he asked for any kind of advice. Now, my colleague was in his usual self of being speaking his mind advised him to elope with her and that he would be busy in his own marriage the coming month, so he could crash at his house. Fortunately, the guy didn't turn up my colleague's house. Though he admits that he just said what the guy wanted to hear, he was not the part of that eloping part. Well, someone did give that idea and who might that be ?

A Problem?

I never realized that there could be certain problem when the hair is long. Like how it just flies randomly menacing the perfectly 2 hour carefully tailored hair style (which still looks bleh!). Or like when in an attempt to get the 'crazily flying hair' back into place, all my hair comes off like that loosely kept wig. Or like how the perfectly straight hair gets that Clark Kent (aka Superman) twist but making crop circles all over the head. Or like when I am drinking a well frothed coffee, I have to worry about the hair going into the coffee while sipping rather than making a clown nose. Or like when a friend tells me check my 9 o clock and I can't because my weird crop circled hair is covering my eyes. Isn't there any permanent solution to this? Yeah, there is. GO BALD. No. No. No. No. Nonononononono. I am not doing that, ever. Oh, you will not have a choice. With the pace at which your hair is dropping, you shouldn't be surprised if one day you woke and shout at the top of your voice while looking at the mirror.

_____________________________

P.S. The title of the post makes no sense. I too know. 

Houston.....

Houston, Houston! We have a Problem.

The weather is cold, cold-ish. My Brains' completely Dead. Fading thoughts. Mindless circles/images/what-not on the notepad. TV playing silently in the background. Half Empty Stomach. Clock Struck One. Insomnia for past two days. Watching Movies. Window Shopping. Eating Junk Food, like everytime. Bottom Line - 

Houston, Houston! We Lost you! 

So, Ajay (I mean the so-called-author who brags about this blog) is Brain-dead. Completely, I mean it. He bought a couple of Novels last week. Wait, not a couple of.. but a couple of couple books. And just finished one with great difficulty. What's funny is he reads the novels while in the journey, in a tightly packed bus. But at the comfort of the home - No. I still don't understand what the hell is going on with him. And lately he is sleeping early, like 2100 hours, which is like 1800 hours in his time.  He has been a little different lately, or is he being his usual self - I don't have a clue. And my guess is - He himself doesn't know about it, for sure. Else I wouldn't be here, right? 

Waaiiittttt! Who the hell are you?

So, Who am I ? Well, I don't have a name per se. Hmm... How do I put this? Well, You could call me the Dark-Passenger for Dexter. Wait! That's sounds too villainy. Hmm... Batman for Bruce Wayne. Spider Man for Peter Parker. Whoa! Whoa! Hold your horses. Now get down to reality and stop exaggerating. Ok! Fine. Hmm... You could call me the Alter-Ego, or the stuff that you read in this blog which is italic-ed. Yeah! That! Those sane, or insane thoughts that sometimes keep popping in between the steady flow of the write-up, revealing the truths/facts/lies/what-not. [BTW in this post, if you find any of those "italic-ed" stuff, please note that its' not me, for sure; or it could be the Alter-Alter-ego.] Don't Sweat it and you; reading this, please stop banging you head to the wall/table/etc.

So, what has been this guy, the 'so-called-blogger' been upto? Lately, he is eating my peace-of-mind and filling it with, or lets say forcing me to think harder on broader topics, which could influence his writing and people to start with. And I just can't stop laughing when he does that. I mean come on, A 1st standard kid probably can't solve any MIT math problem, can he? Too lame, try again. A 1st standard kid probably can't reach the fruit on a very big tree, can he? This too, And don't try again. You are just insulting the term "Try Again" and making it much more worse. So better stop. Man, I was much better off myself. This guy, AK (author/blogger), ruined almost everything. And what is his obsession with this writing? Sometimes, it drives me crazy, you know. Yeah, I give him most of the ideas and the good stuff, but then he ruins it by saying - "I ain't a good writer/blogger. Probably no one even reads my blog". And thats' crazy, ain't it? And that's what sometimes keeps me from thinking out of the box. Though, I think of the box most of the time (No Kiddin') , sometimes I get into the box, just to see the contents as of how much I know or how much I should know/think. 

Well, What else does he do? To keep himself sane and to keep me working he started that Haiku thing. Most of the times, he doesn't get much ideas/thoughts/whatever-you-call-it to write. And there is not much to write in that Haiku also. And that's what the best part! Few words- Big Meaning. So, he ends up with some words which differ just like North-South and he feels happy about it. Haha. You have no idea how he feels. As if his writings got published in a book- like that happy. And then again he re-reads it and try to understand what others have understood from his mindless boggling of thoughts randomly shuffled & arranged. Phew!

He sometimes gets angry. Angry at people/someone. May be he is frustrated with the laziness and literally doing nothing - physically and mentally. And may be that could be the reason for a slight shift in his personality and the thinking process. Someday, he might end beating the s#it of that guy who keeps asking bloody-nonsense questions all the time and who criticizes almost everything, where most of what happens to be women. So, yeah! One day, he might be picking up his teeth from the floor. 

Or It might be the Job. The Job where he doesn't do a single thing and yet gets the money at the end of the month. Actually, that's what he wants. Do nothing- Get Paid. But the money isn't sufficient. Must somehow he wants to double, no triple , no quadruple his current pay. And obviously without doing nothing. As if that's gonna happen. Whatever! 

Mayday, Mayday. 

Charlie Tango Going Down.

People are dying .. after reading this post.

Taking Cover - away from him.

Out.

Oh! Dear, God! 

We have a Problem. 

Big Time. 

Over and Out.

- The Alter-Ego,

[ a.k.a Ajay Kontham (Unfortunately)]

Till now ...

" Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow."

- Melody Beattie

I had been quite busy with the exams-thingie going around these days. I am very much thankful to the fellow readers for their wonderful comments, which generates an urge in me to write much better and much more. I am very much fantasied by their work with words in their blogs. I appreciate.

But even then, a substantial part of the exams are over, there is still a considerate part of the time to be spent with the loamy books. The period is almost a month starting from this very day. I almost got off my senses with my weird-performance in the recent exams two days back, on which I am likely to update tomorrow. More over I am having some problems with the old lazy laptop. I had been using it for more than three years and the hardware and software and all got old and is creating the unnecessary havoc in me. Recently, the latest problem with it is two alphabets stopped working. What the hell !? The most essential alphabet 'a' & 'A' went into coma unknowingly. Another alphabet is 'q', though rarely used, it generates a small chill in the spine when I find out that theses keys aren't actually working. 

Rather I overcame this problem by using an external keyboard, but my old sleazy laptop got affected with another problem. The battery problem and the 'hang-on-charging' problem. I guess may be its a hardware problem. Never-the-less, it just restricts me from doing anything. Simply, the laptop really sucks. May be I should get a new one. NEW ONE !? Dad is not not gonna buy me a new one, as I have already made so many petitions, which are pretty costly. Damn !? I need a laptop, a brand new one. At least the "Apple Mac Air" without the CD/DVD input will do. [ :P ] . *Gadget Obsessed*.

Well, anyways I have sent the laptop for repair which is much longer time than I expected. It's been more than a month. As soon as I get the laptop back, I am on the writing spree. FULL TIME WRITING. I have so much in mind and so much to tell and so much to express. But, I am not a person to take a step back and let it go until I actually get the thing. I will surely update as soon as possible with the latest ting in my mind. Well, till then I may hope to keep you entertained with my earlier posts. In case of an extra minute to spare on my blog, lend an eye to my previous blog-posts and do write your valuable comments. 

And these are some of the thoughts I had in my mind in the mean-time.

" The unpredicted, uncherished, unprotected, unbiased unraveled mysteries lie just in front of eyes."

 ~ AJAY KONTHAM

"Playing with people's emotions is a good game, until it is played by yours. Then, you might understand the real fun in it. "

~ AJAY KONTHAM

    More to come. Take care. Till then ...