The beginning of the end.

6 years. 560 posts. 129000 pageviews. 6 years sounds like a pretty big number. But it isn't as scary as I say my age out loud. I am still in disbelief. Why, you ask? Not that it is a huge number compared to the life goal I am supposed to be doing, or partly it does matter. But this that I have survived for so long. I started writing exactly 6 years ago and I don't know how but I just loved it. I loved it so much that I started recommending to other people in my college, my cousins, my cousins friends, even left the blog url on the tissue papers and accidentally ( I mean consciously) left my blog name or the url in the places I had been to. But guess what, no one gave a damn. Seriously, no one. But I didn't care much. I loved writing and hence I continued to do so. 

Then again, I wasn't a reader either. Truth be told, I haven't read a novel or the likes of it till I hit that writer's block in writing down the lane a few months after I got into writing. Yes, I did read most of the Super Hero and all of Tintin comics and that was the last of it. My dad used to buy books, like autobiographies of famous people such a Mahatma Gandhi and Nehru, and the likes of them. He even bought the book 5 point someone, which apparently was doing good at the Crossword book store. But I was rather interested in wait, what did I do in my free time? I guess nothing. There was no internet either and that DSL internet was the shittiest thing one can ever come across, the dail up freaky tone. Anyway, lets not bring the past to the present. So, where was I? Yeah, writing and reading. I started reading because I wanted to know things, I wanted to have a different perspective on things, I wanted to know how the people's mind worked and how they saw what they saw. I followed almost every single blogger whom I came across, and tried to fit into their shoes or perhaps their mind. Believe me, all this drama did teach me a thing or two. And to add to the list, it also gave me a few good, great friends whom I might not have met but know me a far better than any other person I met(in person) along the way. So, thank you for that.

And this year. This year just doesn't feel so right. Something has been off lately. Optimism hasn't really been my strong suit. And neither has planning for something remotely turned out to be okay. So, I decided to not make plans either it is to write or read or anything as a matter of fact and do things along the way as they come to me. Turns out, that didn't work either. It just feels like I am destined to be doomed, in ways not yet known to me. I told a friend of mine, "When I make some plans, everything in the universe tries to stop it. So I decided not to make any because you know since making plans didn't work out. So not making and thinking that I didn't make any might just yield an outcome which in turns benefits me.". So, in light of all these atrocities against me, I have decided to put this blogging on hold for an indefinite time, until noted. May be, I will just start writing from some other place or with a pseudo name or a different blog. I don't know man. I don't know what to do. Anyway, I came up with this quote or whatever we call it. 

"All good things eventually end. And all bad things should have ended sooner."

- Ajay Kontham, 2015

[Analogy : The text is quoted and there is a name below it and there is a year also for reference. Thats' what we call a quote / quotation. And you are welcome for the enlightenment you recieved.]

This brings the post to the end. The end to (refer the quote and pick a choice)

And... you know what it means.

Thoughts Concealed.

Totally lost it..Wait! What's my name.

- Reporter from The Daily Blogger

Get me an aspirin. This is giving me aches, head ache.

- Blogger News Crew

Oh darn! Why? Why didn't I just ignore?

- People from different parts of the world

He drank the emptiness of the thoughts. He was lost, or so he thought. One after one came those thoughts which made no sense. Or were they even thoughts or just empty vessels which made annoying noises. Its North at one time, its Flemings left hand Rule the other or South one time, and its the improper shaped amoeba the other time. He didn't had a firm ground to lay his feet, a firm pillow to lay his head or a firm book to pen down his thoughts. Thoughts? What are they? I started doubting myself after the fleeting events of drifts in this person's imagination. So, what am I thinking? Skydiving (No, I read it recently), hmm...yeah yeah, Love...or is it swimming or is it the new game Assassins Creed . What was I thinking? Wait, let me come again. 

The night lay illuminated by the sodium vapor lamps and the shiny building names that sparkle and dance their way in the emptiest darkness. The cold breeze is obstructed by the window plane which was shut to avoid the the treacherous insects from getting inside. But he went out to let of some steam. Steam? He just came out of hot shower! Lol No.The misguided thoughts which made no sense of what were leading him to. It was one peaceful night and the cold breeze was refreshing. But he tried keeping his mind at rest without thinking anything. The more he tried not to think anything, the more he thought. The result? The steam just got hotter. 

He was at rest. His mind was blank this time. The full bass of the music plugged in ears was unheard. The songs ended, the people's chatter started but he was unconscious to their speech and sound. He was steady and motionless. He was lost this time, like for real. Or was he sleeping. Yeah, he slept. Thats' what I thought. 

He was laughing. Laughing looking at his cell phone. Some weird text may be. He replies to it. And then frowns. He smiles again, like a child. He again texts back. It continues until he gets no reply. He throws one nasty swear at the phone, pays the bill for the coffee, plugs in the iPod and off he goes back to his well... umm... splattered thoughts.

He looks attentive. He must be planning something. A person, may be his friend is explaining him something. Oh, he is listening to whatever he is saying swinging his head. Why doesn't he reply then? Why just he keeps nodding his face. Another person precedes over the former speaker and continues. Oh, there he speaks for a brief moment and then the former person continues with his explanation and then there is a brief silence. Like the one after the baby stops crying.

He looks irritated. He is with his friends at a shopping mall. Oh no, not that guy. He doesn't buy anything but checks each and every damn thing. He calls it research. Who the hell cares? He drags his feel and looks really irritated by this guy. They are in an expensive showroom and the price tags shows more than two months salary and even more and these geeks are there exploring the possibility that when they win a Billion Dollars in lottery, they may be able to buy half of whats there at that showroom. Oh No..Nooo! His friend goes to another crazy section. It is more likely that they are going to spend the night at the showroom only.

_____________________________________

Oh, yeah. I am super bored. No. I was just trying to get that sympathetic look. People don't give that look for getting bored. Whatever! But I sure hit that writer's block. So, here I am trying to make sense of things, known and unknown, familiar and unfamiliar, right and wrong, left and right, up and down, umm.. you get the point, don't you. Most impimportantly, I'm battling with words, the right words to say, to express, to vent?, to ramble?, to speak, to write. I do feel that this isn't the end of the road, but is it? It sure feels like it. 

This year...

A week is over. Another came by and went off in a dilemma. "Hey buddy, it's December", heard this while I was walking back to my room. I barely remember this year,2010. Its DECEMBER. It was so fast. I never knew when time flew by and left me to the last month of the year. What about the resolutions I made at the start of the year? Do I remember any of those? Frankly speaking, "I do not remember even a single resolution!" . I guess, it's time to make new ones. Right?




I am not worried about making a new set of resolutions by the beginning of the next year. I am feeling it quite awkward. It is because, when I try to make some things straight and absolutely nothing goes well, then what is the point in making such attempts and wasting time. I would like to make a long list of resolutions and with full determination to implement the very first day of the month January. But, sometimes things don't work as we think and always gives us a blow at the right and the perfect time. The new year starts and with in no time its December. It's hard to believe though, but time flies at the speed of light. Before, I could even think and even try to implement any of my so called resolutions, the year comes to an end and I write the same old thing. Another passes by and I question myself, "What did do this year?". The answer from inside me echoes,"Nothing".




Nothing. I just can't believe it. 350 days passed, just like a whoosh. This is quite obsolete. Some days were longer and some days were shorter, but none of the days were like, "Wow, what a day is today? Surely I want to remember this day. I had some bad hiccups last night. And some bad days this year. Sometimes, I wish somethings shouldn't have happened. I do not know how this year is going to end, but I can tell with surety that this was not a good year. I realized so many things. I wish they never happened. I am stuck with one thing. I don't know whether it is for good or for bad. But, I just wish that didn't have happened, but somewhere in my heart, I wanted it to happen. I am not telling it, margining it as my personal thing. So, please don't mind about it. Besides that many unexpected things happened. 




Firstly, I wasn't stable. Stable in the sense, I was never in a fixed place. Once I bagged a College Hostel seat, which I never wanted, I had to settle here. I had to move on. Frankly, I hate the idea of college hostel and when the reason is so weird, " I don't eat food well, if I stay outside". Precisely, I was in four different places this year, constantly moving a shifting the heavy load. I guess it was in August, when I reached the last stand-out and I was told to stay here for another two years, until I complete my under-graduation. Well, so it is. Four months have passed and stepped deliberately into the fifth month. About academics, it's hard to say. The higher the difficulty and and the meaner are the subjects. The tougher the job gets to subside the literal weight on the shoulders. And I had a very unusual experience this time, while I was writing the exams. A typical feeling overcame my pestilent little brain. I just knew that something was wrong, but had nothing to straighten up the things. 




I had been finding a bit difficulty in adjusting the sudden changes in places. "Did I overcame it yet?". The answer is still a 'No'. I had been trying to figure it out, but I being so poor at statistics, couldn't actually figured it out correctly. Now, leaving about the odd things of the, "Has anything good happened to me this year?" . Hmm, as far as I can think of, "Nope, nothing good". The college had started and the atmosphere is getting a bit turgid. With the new semester on the start and a way too long time for competence, look forward to this semester to be good, if possible. Anyways leaving about the odds and the evens, I hope to make the best of this year and the coming year. So moving ahead..

Puzzle of the day !!! : Puzzle # 2

If you take a marker & start from a corner on a cube, what is the maximum number of edges you can trace across if you never trace across the same edge twice, never remove the marker from the cube, & never trace anywhere on the cube, except for the corners & edges?

And answer to the Puzzle#1::

18

Assume that initial there were 3*X bullets. 

So they got X bullets each after division. 

All of them shot 4 bullets. So now they have (X - 4) bullets each. 

But it is given that, after they shot 4 bullets each, total number of bullets remaining is equal to the bullets each had after division i.e. X 

Therefore, the equation is 

3 * (X - 4) = X 

3 * X - 12 = X 

2 * X = 12 

X = 6 

Therefore the total bullets before division is = 3 * X = 18

P.S. : I am not feeling well now, so may be the post could be boring and off the hood like thing. If you have read it,  I truly appreciate your patience and thank you.