A Labyrinth called Life!

You are at the bottom of the deepest ocean and have hit the rock bottom and it can' be any deeper. You struggle under your own breath, try to pinch yourself. You weren't dreaming. This was happening for real. But still, you choose not to believe and stay up for a fight. A little something called hope slowly makes its presence and you wait patiently for a miracle to happen. A miracle that might wake you up from this terrible nightmare. You never believed in miracles. You have been such a logical and considered yourself to be an intellect. But now you have changed your opinion. A miracle is the only last resort left now for you. You close your eyes and pray for the first time in ages for a miracle. And just as then something happens. A miracle, but not what you had expected. The rock bottom, the deepest depth just dug itself and there you are drowning, again. You battle for a pint of air just to see the bright sunshine one more time.The time slows down while the depth clouds your thinking, your judgment. You are stuck there, in that darkest depth for reason unknown. But the only thing you know is to fight, and fight you do. You feel tired. You feel the energy draining out with each frozen second. You know that you should be dead by now but you aren't. You want to give yo. But there is still some strength for a little more battle and you fight back, even when you know that you are stuck there, until a miracle were to happen.It gets a little darker and you stop suffocating under the weight of a million gallons of water. You aren't dead. Thank God. Yes. You are very much alive. Slowly, you open your eyes as you lay still in the silence of the depth. You lose the only hope you had, the faith you had left in you. There was nothing good at all, you conclude. You say you give up. You cry your lungs out. You shout till the silent depth makes ripples even under that depth. You made a choice. You chose to give up. Of course, you couldn't take it anymore. You just want it to end. You want to be free.

You wake up to the bright sunlight burning you up. You take deep breaths of life, for your life. You realize you just had a bad dream, or was it? You look around. You see the bare naked sun glaring at you with all its might. The cold of the depth vanishes under the sand. You are all alone. This wasn't you home. This is a nowhere. You fall down on your knees and try to take it in, slowly. It's just barren land without a sign of soul. Just white gravel for miles all around. You are just lost. Which way? The relief that you felt from the water just disappeared in the thin air. You are becoming weak. You already lost hope once. You already chose to give up once. You can't find any other option. I am dreaming. I am dreaming. Wake up. Wake up. This is just one terrible dream. Just wake up. You see yourself on your knees, lost in thought, under the burning sun. You feel the warmth turning into burns. You can feel that burns all over your body, only that it looks normal but it actually isn't. You close your eyes to pray. Pray! you exclaim. To whom? For what? You are just totally lost. You curse under your breath, you shout. Its' just you. Only you could hear your voice turning into silence while you give up. You give up, once again. You just can't do it anymore. You couldn't even fight this time. "GOD!" you call him after what seems like ages. You question his existence, his faith, him being a beacon of hope. You finally ask him to show himself, for once. You ask him to do something, that was the least he could do after all this. You final resort just didn't pan out. You ask him to leave you alone and just stay away from him. "Give up, give up", the voice shouted in your conscious. I can't take it anymore, you shout. Just leave me alone, you plead. It's over, I want it to be over, you hear me. You make a choice. You feel so right. You have lost yourself in the process. But you don't care anymore. You gave up, so you chose to ignore everything else. Your eyes become weak under the blazing sun. 

You see the world. You are in the crown. People swirling around you. You are just a spectator. You gave up. But then what is this? What is wrong with you. Suddenly, you feel the eyes, the people around you. Then you see the fingers pointed at you. You can feel them judging you."What is wrong with me?", you shout at the top of your voice, the voice entrapped in the conscious of the mind. You feel the anger raging inside, the blood boiling within and you know that you are at the verge of exploding. Massacre, it would be if you let your demons out. But you don't! You ignore the pointed fingers, the awkward looks and get into your own bubble. You question yourself "Why did I stop myself? Why not beat the shit of him? May be there is some morale left inside me. Perhaps, I am still me!". You stare into the oblivion.

The day was bright and shining. The sun rays kiss you with a breath of fresh air. The birds chirped in their soothing self. It felt different. It felt new. Something has changed. Something new is happening. You can feel it, in yourself. You feel that hope, in the shadows of the past, hiding, struggling to take the spot under the limelight. You see it. You see it clearly with your own naked eyes. With that hope plastered on your face, you take the step into the bright sunshine carrying a new self, new you. You open the door and see the water gushing at you like an storm. You swirl round and round, while the water drags you to the depth, the deepest darkest depth. You hit the rock bottom. This can't be a dream. You are a mess. You are in a mess. You are in this never ending labyrinth of endless despair where hope drowns in the deepest ocean and life lingers in the shadows of the dimmed shadowy past. No, you can't escape it. You know it. But that stupid conscious keeps saying that you can. And then you chose to end it, end it now before you live being stuck in the misery of life. 

The Snow Globe Theory

The night was young as the moon adorned the silver armor and shone in its adorning beauty. The luminous light so vivid that the night appeared day. Just as then a dark cloud ran the race from the outskirts of the capitol to eliminate all light, that dangerous evil darkness no one was aware of. Silence swept across the streets of conjusted homes, statues, palaces, whatnot. The silence was deafening. In the center of the palace was a child in a cradle sleeping peacefully without anything to worry about. The silent atmosphere echoed his small breath of life. *Breathe in* *Breathe out* *Breathe in*. There was silence again, that cruel deafening silence. 

A nostalgic expression with a hint of sadness and anger left my breath. Let me bring to you the movie - Exodus : Gods and Kings. This particular paragraph is a scene in the movie. It is so heart-breaking, so cruel. Well, I felt so. God! God! What is God made up of? Or what is God? Or who is God? No one has really ever seen him. He has always been that mysterious. Oh, come on theist, have you ever had the pleasure of meeting him or seeing him or umm never mind! Well, I do believe in your belief. But we have to agree that he is mysterious enough. Well, in this movie he makes an appearance to a person who never believed in God. That's the logic there. If you never really believed in God, he will chose you and you have a great destiny to fulfill, the God's destiny of course, for salvation perhaps. What fascinated me in the movie was the God and his actions. In the early mid 1000 BC, there was slavery, a sort of slavery which was unbearable to even imagine. We all know that, don't we? History did make that clear or was it the Bible? And there are many stories of God in that time period, his birth, his purpose, and so many other things.

So, as part of the greater good, what was the necessary evil? What was needed for the good to come out from so much evil. Life! Life was at stake. And this movie had put a big question mark on the God's intentions. Kill a few to help a lot? That was the motto. There was this phase in the movie when the God brings down his wrath. He kills all the fish, destroys the crops, followed by an attach by flies, frogs, worms, whatnot. There was a plague out of no where, and a deadly one. I wonder what happened to the balance of nature? And what shook me to the core was when he decides to kill all the children. While the children who are in the houses which are marked with the blood of the sacrificed lamb won't be killed. Death. If death was so inevitable, kill the few people who are the cause for that very evil. Why are the innocent lives at risk here? What kind of sick mind is this?

But come on, God is GOD, the mighty, the powerful, the graceful, the peacemaker. He has a purpose and he was just doing what he thought was necessary for the greater good. We are just supposed to believe that, blindly, or with logic if there is any or if anyone cares. Well, after all he is the God and he is right! Praise the Lord. So, we have come to a conclusion that God is the supreme and the creator and the protector and the everything invincible. But he had to start somewhere. How did he come up with the idea of this universe, this planet, the people in it and the everything around you and me, I mean us. So, I have this theory, a rough one though, but believe me I am getting it patented, just in case. I could be right after all.

The theory behind the mystery of how God created the universe. (This is awfully long title for a theory). Well umm, yeah got it. This sounds better : 

The Snow Globe Theory

Statement : According to this theory, God created the universe.

The Explanation : 

There was darkness, everywhere. Like an infinite black room with nothing in it. But it was not how it was. It was how God felt when he looked around him. There was infinite emptiness. Just as then the god realized that he had powers (the gender is still inconclusive as I never had the chance to be in his presence, but let's say Male) to do anything, create anything, like anything. To start of with something interesting, he goes to his Drawing room(oh yeah, he has one, a big very big one) and to get rid of that empty hollow darkness, he plans to create light.  

Astrology 101. He starts of with a tiny white dot. But it wasn't enough to illuminate his drawing room, so after a million trials and errors he manages to create a source of light. There you go, sun was created. He then fumbles with different shapes and sizes and after "creating" multiples theories, he settles at the sphere shape. Round spherical and transmits light in all directions equally. Awesome. He pats himself ( Nah, he doesn't! I am just saying. But it could have totally happened). 

Chemistry 101. Now the temperature, the gases, the chemical reactions to sustain that light. Whatnot. (Okay, I am going to stop myself there. That's all my knowledge about chemistry. And I feel so tired already. God must have had a lot of stamina and patience. Literally!) So after all that chemistry, the sun was fully self sustained. And mind you, it didn't happen overnight. It took a lot of calculations and assumptions, theories (that you read in Chemistry and Astrology or the origin of sun books, whatever, right?)

Physics 101. Then came big irregular masses which we in modern day call planets. God's drawing room is now filled with calculations, chemical compositions, astronomical signs and all that  stuff ( that we are still unaware of). The shape was a challenge again, but again after a thousand trials, sphere it was again. He still had to get them to fill the space around that SUN. He covered the surroundings of the sun with these planets. They were dragged towards the sun and totally consumed by it. The concept of Distance came into existence. And not to mention another involuntary discovery was the concept of motion. Another a million calculations and carefully placing the planets , everything was set in motion. Okay, who has that kind of patience? I am losing my patience trying to explain my theory ( which *cough* sucks *cough*). Well, nevertheless, he pats himself (or not) for his accomplishment.

Biology 101. I wonder what his drawing room would have been, with papers containing the blueprints of the whole universe, what to keep where, with calculations and compositions for each planet, all that physics, chemistry, astrology, whatnot ( we/I sill don't know a million other things about his drawing room). After a few days of appreciating his creation and the revolving planets he felt accomplished. Years passes by and he kept staring at his arrangement. Though he created a million other such things, a sun and planets around it, he felt that he was still missing something. Then another concept hit his mind. Life. He put all his creativity and started with a million different shaped creatures and whatnot. He placed each one certain planets. Nothing seemed to sustain Life. He had to do something. He started off with water, then the vegetation, plants, kept those small creatures. After certain years that planet achieved ecological and environmental balance. But still it didn't look complete. Then he realized to create a creature in his own image. God created Man. His bravest and the most radical creation till date. Then came woman. He wanted to impart his knowledge, but he had to be careful because it could be misused, if not handled properly. The Garden of Eden. But he also couldn't figure out the future what it had. 

He(The God) had no idea that some ordinary man (me) could ever unravel that mystery, or should I say the secret of his. How did I do that? With his gift of knowledge, of course. I bet he didn't see this coming. This is a theory-in-progress and a lot of additions and new discoveries will be added to it as we(I) unravel it. Hence, I conclude my Snow-Globe theory! 

Ah, I bet you that question why is this theory called the "The Snow-Globe Theory". I have explained almost everything (most of it! Ok, a part of it! Ok ok, no need to get all hyper, a very small part of it), I still haven't told you where he stays, did I ? Aha see, I got you there. So, where does God stay? As far as I know all this infinite universe could be inside a snow globe minus the the snow (of course) in a kid's room given by his father, the God. There you go, the mystery behind the name of the theory. But there is no snow. So what? My theory, my name! And mind you, its' going to be patented. And eventually I will get that signature from God approving it. Believe me, that day is not far. Wait till he sees' that Snow Globe. 

And oh yeah, Nobel Prize is also not far away! Just remember my name.