A little thought dwindled as I slowly made my last stand at the end of the day. Now its gone. Its just silence. Radio Silence. I broke the essence of this obscurity with glass shattering loud music in my ears. I felt relieved. I still didn't. It was a while when I realized that I was still in the silent-zone which has magically formed around of me. What was that? Why was this happening? I wish I had any clue.
The music was loud enough for the person sitting in the next block could also hear and hum the lyrics. I still couldn't. I wasn't here. I was entrapped in a world apart. I wish I knew where I was. As the people around me started moving in slow motion like in the movies, I felt I was dreaming. But I wasn't. It was just my mind playing tricks, or may be not. I was still in the dilemma, a confusion which was getting fuzzy with each passing moment.
I settled in. I took the depth of the detail around me. Then it struck me, I was home. This is my place. This is where I live. It was lonely. I shouted at times. But it was still silent on the outside. I shouted even harder, and more louder. It was still silent outside. There is a war inside, inside of my mind. A raging, blood shedding war. But a pin drop silence on the outside. What was this? I had no idea. The war, that war, never ended. It is still a battle ground.
I tried to escape the obscurity and break those walls in which I am trapped. I wanted silence more than anything else. I was tired of this shouting, the shouting which doesn't bring any help. I wanted peace, a little silence. But I am entrapped in a world where silence has no place and on the outside its as silent as the depth of an ocean.
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We all are :)
ReplyDeleteIts a choice that everyone has to make. The silence inside or the one outside? This is more often than not the regular battle everyone fights.
I guess you are right.
DeleteHmmm.... Try connecting with the Almighty... He has the answer to your Silence!
ReplyDeleteHmm, Well I might put that up in the sequel of this.
DeleteIt's like you read my mind and wrote down my thoughts. Of late, have fought this battle so much and it doesn't end that soon. Life's hard!
ReplyDeleteWelcome to the club.
DeleteI have a premium membership. :P
Life's hard. I agree. I just hope it becomes easy as well.
Take care.
There's a war in my mind too, and it's been an endless one.. right now it's a silent one.
ReplyDeleteI can reciprocate your thoughts.
DeleteHow can you take one word and write so much on it ? How ? Both you and wanderer do it. If you gave me the topic "Silence" I would have written "nice silence" or "silence is nice" period.
ReplyDeleteI had to read this 2 times to really understand what you are trying to tell (I am thick sometimes) but what I understood from it was beautiful.. :) :)
Haha. Thank You. :)
DeleteBut I must clear something out here first. Wanderer is so much better than at this. She weaves a wonderful story/write up, where as I just juggle the words here and there and put it here.
Then again, I tried my best to be at par with her or any other writer as a matter of fact. Thanks for reading it twice. :P
Silence is something that has always held dual connotations. The other side of silence which you've reflected upon is apparently like the shadow of silence... That side that few of us experience and fathom. The silence that you expect to pacify and yet it drives you insane.
ReplyDeleteThat's how silences go I guess... I dunno, I guess it's the inevitability of duality in everything, be it human nature or abstractions like this.
And when I read the lines about the blaring music, I could absolutely picture myself in similar states. It's like we are in this state of mind that build silent walls around us that not even the loudest of music can penetrate.
That is what is defined as 'deafening silence' huh?
May be you are right. I too don't know.
DeleteExactly.
I guess so.