Adieu.

So Far - Till Now.

The year has almost ended. It is over. Almost over. This is the last day of the year. Glad, I am still here to write this post. I feel it was just yesterday that I wrote a post claiming my new resolutions and a greetings about the new year. A year has passed by then. Does it feel like the same to me? Nah. Not even a bit. Its all mixed up, crazy doodly-voodly in my mind. What was this year all about? Yeah, there were some tough days. Were there? I don't remember. Am I getting forgetful? Oh, yeah! Sure I am. There were really crazy turn of events lately this year. Some gave me a fine solid blow. Do you want to know ? Well, I am all yours today. I will tell anything you ask. All that you have to do is ask. 

So,like everybody else would probably say.. This year has been great for me and the year yet to come will be promising and I would like to do each and everything I wanted to do that I couldn't do in this year. But lets rewind back and see what this year had for me which I wouldn't have thought of. 

So Mr.AK (a.k.a AJ) How has the year 2012 been? 

In short, Nice and Unexpected. 

In Long, the year has been nice and a little bit unexpected. There you go .. in long. #JustKidding

I did a lot of things, wasted a lot of time, bought a lot of things, spent a lot, roamed a lot, bla bla. Let me summarize that. 

• First of all, I completed my B-Tech Engineering. Yay. Cool. But I didn't feel anything. I mean come on, I have a Bachelors degree and the percentage that I scored was also nice. I mean pretty great for a person like me. And whats' not to celebrate that? But I did't feel a thing like the sort of attachment, or the sense of achievement or whatever else the people would feel about completing college. No. Nothing. You are stone-hearted person, dude. Sorry, what-hearted? Never mind!
• In the process of completing my engineering, a lot happened. I will make it short. I was the project leader for the fourth year last semester. Yeah, No kidding. Me? Serious LOL. So, the project was a total bust and practically and theoretically we didn't do anything. The little work that we did was done by me. But at the last, all went fine. We got our grades. Phew! And there was another incident where I was about to be beaten up by some of my classmates just because I wrote something about them on the blog. Yeah, that's me being INSANE. And did I stop? Hell No. And that was just before the college was about to end. Look at me! Well Don't. And Phew! to that also. All was over in the first quarter. 
• I joined a JOB and my dad got transferred on the same day. Totally UnCool thing to happen to me. I started working and earning also. Well, technically speaking that wouldn't be called working yet, because I still haven't worked for the company so far. But I have been earning since I joined. So, I tell my friends that I am practically 'Jobless with a Job'. 
• I have spent a hell lot of money. You wouldn't believe if I say I have zero balance in my bank account. And the fact that I am home for holidays just saved me for the last week of the month. 
• Of all the things that I bought 80% of them are online. So, you can call me a online-shopaholic or may be lazy. 
• I traveled a lot. I mean I have to a lot many places that I could ever be in a year so far. So, this gave a chance to click more pictures than I usually could. So, traveled a lot , clicked a lot. 
• I made a lot many friends. Keeping aside the fact that I am one extremely calm guy and the one who doesn't talk unless provoked, I managed to make a good number of friends. Though the amount of friends made would probably be less. But still I managed some. 
• To be precise, I might have wasted a total of may be about 5 months. Though I have got a job, I haven't been to office like forever and thats' three months of forever and the remaining 2 months are the time that I wasted in the remaining 9 months. 
• I have been on flight the most this year. Something I always like. 
• The second was self-immoralization. Yeah. I am quite bit of order right now. Once I used to keep track of things I used to do, now I am losing that track. And also, I used to remember what I used to do and at what time(not precisely though). But now I am a total blunder. 
• The only thing that I might have done least is Sleeping ! No kidding there.
• The End of the World didn't happen for which I was eagerly waiting. But that day, I didn't even remember and all that became a big practical joke of the millennium. 

To summarize, I have outlived what I had never expected. And hence 2012 was one great year. Yeah, of course each year has its ups and downs, but at the end of the year I can just remember only the ups'. The harder I try to find the down's, I just can't find many. 

Now, Resolution Time ! Wait a minute, what were my this year's resolutions? Hmm... Let me think.. Nothing strikes... hmm... lemme check my blog post where I might have mentioned some of my resolutions. Oh, Darn! I just can't find any. I must have written them somewhere. Or may be you just didn't even make any. No. That's not possible. OR May be you are so obsessed to make a resolution list that you totally forgot about. Dear Mind, Give it a rest. Let me think. *Thinking* ... *Thinking*... ! Told ya. Ya, Ya, right! If I am not wrong, I made the resolutions in my mind. And If I had ever done any one of it, I would know. But the fact that I don't remember any makes it clear that I didn't strike anything of my list. So, this is what I am going to do. I will make up a list with exactly opposite of what I want to do and since I won't be remembering what those were anyway on the 1st day of the next year. No worries there. But if I do remember, I could gladly strike down the list one by one because it would have exactly of what I want to do. Didn't understand. Yeah, me neither. This guy is crazy. 

Most Awesome Moment?
I don't have some awesome moment, some sad moments. I just have moments in which some are good, some not. Wtf was that? Just answer the damn question. hmm, okay... At the top of the Ponmudi Hill Station covered in clouds.

Most Saddest moment?

Thats' a long list actually, but there are so many that I just can't find the right one. And what is with the question formation? Just like your answers, these questions are also blunt. Deal with it. 

Most Horrifying Moment?

The Delhi Gang Rape Incident.

The thing that you would recall when the year '2012' is mentioned? 

2012, The movie. No Jokes man.

Ok, fine. The year I got my first Job and first Salary. 

No more questions. Thats' it for now. Yeah, you are spared. Because the answers are hard to digest. 

Thank God. Whatever! 

There are so many things that happened, I think. I don't remember any of those. Didn't I mention earlier that I am losing track of myself and forgetting things. This is one of it. Like everybody say, in this year there were many ups and downs, there were many mistakes that were done and some good things also. Learning from the mistakes and moving ahead, I would like to be prosperous in the year to come. Seriously Kidding!! No shit. I was just shocked when I saw you write that. 

So, Looking back to 2012 in Style. :D

What the hell was this photo for? You're just impossible.

Whatever man! 

Anyways, Wishing you all a Happy and Prosperous New year. May this year bring you many surprises (good surprises) and add a lot of sunshine to your lives. 

Happy New Year 2013. 

Source

Take Care and Have Loads of Fun. :D

Bidding Farewell to 2012.

AK (Ajay Kontham) [2012]

How are you feeling ?

How are you feeling, Ajay? Like this goes the Facebook status before we write anything in the status box. And there's this one also. Whats' happening, Ajay? 

So, What's happening in your world and also How are you feeling? 

Anyways, I am back home just 2 days before Christmas. And it has been like 2 months since  I was home. So, when I checked in the Foursquare(A social client which shares the Location where I am at, online i.e. Facebook and Twitter) at Bangalore International Airport, Chatrapati Shivaji Airport (Mumbai) and Sardar Vallabhbhai Patel Internaltional Airport ( Ahmedabad), a message popped up for each check-in : "You are back after three months.. These are few suggestions for you..." .. so went the message. Last time I checked, I spent around 25000 bucks for a 3 day stay at home. Insane, right? I totally agree with you. Well, What else can I do ? *Sad Face*

So, The topic at hand... How am I feeling? And I totally forgot, "MERRY CHRISTMAS... & ... HAVE A PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR fulfilling your dreams." "Have Fun and Take Care." Hmm... Finally I said before the day ended. Thank Goodness. :P

Yeah, How am I feeling?  COLD. I guess. I mean it is freezing cold out there. My jaws are aching a bit for the constant tapping of the teeth (or whatever it is called). And though it is warm inside I am doing a fashion show inside my home. You wouldn't believe if I say I am writing this post with a HAT on top of my head, a watch on my hand (though I can clearly see the time on two laptops in front of me.) Yeah two laptops. One is mine and the other my brothers'. I use it to play games. Haha. No kidding. My laptop doesn't have enough graphics. Dear Santa, Give me a High End Gaming Laptop. So, presently I am feeling warm and cozy. And Christmas is almost over. But the Christmas spirit yet stays .

Another thing : What's happening? Literally NOTHING. I mean come on, It has been over 2 days and I haven't written one blog post while I was keeping myself busy on the flight busy as if I am a great writer. That's a funny story. I was on the flight and unfortunately, I kept my travel-novels in the check-in baggage. And this is even funny, I checked in the baggage like 3 hours before the scheduled departure time. I thought of clicking some photos so I checked in the baggage but I didn't take any photos. All security personnel were looking weirdly at me. So, I declined the idea to avoid any complications. Later on the flight for 3 hours, I took out a book and a pen while others were on their tablets. But I kept my headphones on and started writing. That was mostly ranting and nonsense writing like some fiction story which I started a long long time ago and some sort of poem, oh sorry, it isn't called a poem - Worambling. I was looking damn funny. But I didn't had anything else to do either. So, I thought I will be writing stuff once I reached home. But home is one place where all plans fail. Well, look at me - Eating, Sleeping, Facebooking, Gaming, increasing the weight - REPEAT. And I thought of making a six-pack body. Yeah, who was I kidding? I mean seriously! Me? Six-Pack! I sleep at 4 in the morning, wake up at 11 in the noon and then I eat and take rest and if in case I get hungry and my Fridge is empty, order something online. What's insane is that I don't even know where my dad keeps his car and my two-wheeler. Well, my parents shifted to a new apartment and 3 months back when I came home, I helped them move the stuff from other house. So, I have no idea where the vehicles are. So, I can forget about the six pack, presently I am developing a big family pack. You bet! 

So, what else is happening? Well, this is a surprise. I thought of not disclosing the name. But then it wouldn't be me - Insane. So the other day, I received this : 

Dear IQ, 

That was very generous of you. Thank you so much. Merry Christmas and a Happy & Prosperous NEw Year/ Whats' interesting is that you created a e-card for New Year and Christmas combined. Who does that these days ? So, Thank you  again and thank you for the effort you put in it, though it may not be much ( as you could say). And I have a little hard time believing about 'me being inspiring' thing. But thanks for that as well. And lastly, thanks for bearing with my wicked, nonsense and hilarious (are they really hilarious?) posts/ranting. 

Truly, 

Your Blog-Fan-Friend

AK 

Ajay Kontham

P.S. Finally, I wrote something. Phew! And Happy New Year. :)

The Outburst.

A National-Disgrace. 

I feel helpless as there is such a heinous crime being committed and there is nothing much done. Last night there were candles at the India Gate to question the Delhi Police about what they are doing and what actions are to be taken to further reduce such crimes. But I feel the hype is just temporary and the media covers it for a few days or a few weeks. And that's it. May be the people are hanged, or as they newly say Castration is the answer. Is this the first time we have faced with such a case ? No, right ? The brutality of humans have reached their peaks, even crossed it. 

Now the issue at hand is not the women being the cause, but the human thinking which is so degraded.What the hell does this mean : "The women provoke the Men". What the FUCK? Seriously what is the matter with you people. These people just need a scapegoat. And that being the weak, it just makes it easy right ? Grow up people. Come on, Seriously.

Courtesy : GoStarted.At  

This is shocking. "You raped her because her clothes provoked you?" What the FUCK, fucker?  Why does the way people dress have to do anything with provoking? Isn't it just the human thinking that is at stake here? The depleting humanity and the sense of moral values in the minds of the people. Is there where we are headed ? Illiteracy doesn't teach anyone to commit crime. Whats' provoking the minds of the people? The question at hand is that "Why such a thought ? Why does anyone has to look/think in the wrong way?  Where is all this coming from? " 

Last Night I was watching the news all night. Some people say that the rapists should be hanged. Some say Castration is the answer. And the rest ask the government to take necessary actions to prevent such incidents in the future. The Indian Police sucks. Believe it or not, It fucking sucks. Dr. Kiran Bedi herself mentioned that the Police Stations do statistics analysis that they got these many number of cases for this month or quarter. And yeah, whats' new to tell about the situation of Indian Police. Its' the same old story repeated all the time. But if the people who have to protect don't even try to protect, who will then? 

There were many questions which followed. Like "Are the women safe on the roads?" "What are the actions taken by the government on this situation?" "What will be done to the culprits?" But will there be any change in the people's thinking? Yesterday, on tv they mentioned about some guys eve-teasing some tv-news-journalists. And it has been 48 hours since the heart-wrenching incident. What's more disgusting is one of my friends while I was watching tv saying,"First, Learn how to dress". At that point, I came to a conclusion that some people just can't be changed. Why is the innocent to be blamed for the heinous acts of some bloody bastards? And it more painful to hear when they blame the clothes that women wear. And we call it humane ? The thought itself is fucking sickening. When will the thinking change? When will the blaming on others change? When will the society grow? When? I question about how is pointless. Because some people don't just change their thinking. And its' totally pointless talking to a wall. Here are some other excerpts that I found people sharing on facebook.  

Exactly. Identify the CRIME and the people who did it.

"Asking for it" ? Are you out of your fucking mind? Where the fuck is your mind ? Have you lost it somewhere in the gutter or did someone just flush it down the toilet? 

Exactly! 

"How about calling her a women, instead?" 

"Grow up people! Respect others for what they are!"

"Sorry".  :( 
- For being helpless. 

"This is how your silence sounds like. Speak Up". 

P.S. : Images are from various sources and are not mine at all. And apologies for the uncensored words. 

Personality Trait - Sanity or Insanity.

I have always been a judge of other people. The people with whom I stay, the people I see, the people I talk to. In simple words, all people. That's my habit. I know I am Insane. But what can I say? I can't help with it. It is just how my brain works.  

I live in a metropolitan city. I come across a lot of people, a lot of different people and a lot of interesting people. I am judgmental person, you can say. I drop into conclusions and keep analyzing them over and over again. I get tired of doing that. I keep myself away from the worldly insanity and the hearth-pinching remarks on the other people. In my mind, I kill them several times. But I just give back a smile. If they do too much out of their insanity, I get a little agitated and exchange wordy disgust on their conduct. Some people piss me off. I am no good person, I know that. And I don't have the 'so-called-right' to judge people. So, myself and my conscious are always in a battle on this very topic. But the insanity of the people never cease to end and my unacknowledged brain never stops blabbering about it. So, what I do instead of what I do in my mind. I write and let off my guard and hope that it rests here. But I doubt that. People don't change. People don't read my blog, either. Seriously, I have over 150 followers and in that only 5% people read it. True Story. But why does the visitor count keeps increasing? Its' all Spam, like the people's mind. 

Come on, man. I don't recommend my blog to my brother only. Here some unknown stranger has told some other mad fellow that this blog is worth reading. Come on, don't kid yourself. 

So, Coming to the topic at hand. Why am I so compelled to write about this stuff? Some recent events have triggered my sanity held deep inside me by the unwelcoming-unspeakable comments on other people. What has triggered it? I will come to it shortly. 

We are humans. We make mistakes. We like some people, we hate some, we love some, we envy some, we really really hate some, etc. And now there are two types of humans-man and woman. I can't say much about women because I have no knowledge of them whatsoever. I mean look at me, me? talking to girls ? .. no way... But my mind sure does its analysis part on its own. But I have stopped that. I have even stopped thinking at least for a second. But what can I say, the mind does what it pleases. 

Recently, we had a new comer to our Hostel a.k.a. Paying Guest(PG). Since his room was not yet decided properly, he stayed in our flat. Well, he is mutual friend. Since 'boys will be boys', the usual topic/debate about the girls started. And I am no where involved in their discussion. I am the silent sitting duck in another room. And what more, we are all single guys. So, what does come to mind? A relationship! Let truth be told, I don't like the idea of being in love/ relationship kind of bullshit. Your opinions may differ with mine. Sorry about that because the worse is yet to follow. 

Whenever we go out for a casual snacks or shopping, the guys start checking out the girls all around them. That's common right? I used to, but I kind of dislike the idea now. I really don't know the reason. May be this could be the reason - I feel totally uncomfortable when someone looks at me and its even worse when I feel that someone is looking at me. I have to sit right, act right, bla bla bla things have to be done perfectly and this is all because someone is looking at me. Even if I am siting in the middle of a bus or walking on the street. So, I am stuck with the thought that ogling makes people(or at least me) uncomfortable. Let me give you a simple example. A guy is looking at a girl and that girl suddenly catches him looking at her. What usually goes in their mind? As far I know, that disgusts most people. So, that's why I don't even bother to give them a chance in the first place to get disgusted. May be some people like attention and want to be seen by everyone. And some really don't, I guess. But it is totally different if some guy catches a girl looking at him.

So, where was I? Yeah, guys checking out gals... If it just their beauty that they are bothered about I would have joined their cause. But they exceed the normal limits of sane thinking. They cross the line and let me say thats' totally disgusting when we hear those remarks/comments. They are also human beings for god's sake. If only they heard what these people say in whispers, the thought itself is disgusting. 

Recently we went to an amusement Park- WonderLa here in Bangalore. It was a great experience. So as usual there were water rides and all that stuff. The downpoint was that the pool was combined having both the genders. Now, need I say more about the insanity of the guys. One of my friends was totally head over heals moving here and there, not staying at a certain place. He says we have to enjoy every minute of it and his adrenaline-rushing excitement was a total creepy excitement.  He was in constant search of a better looking gal near the pool....I just can't say more... I feel sorry for myself because I stay in a world like that. Is this what we have come to? Are all the people like this? I feel sorry for them. Actually, I don't. Remember what my mind does to such people! I feel like that. 

Obviously most girls are better looking than most of the guys. Or that's what we tend to think. Of course they are Hot, sexy and they may wear whatever pleases them. They may like it, adore it. And that gives them personal satisfaction that they look cool/hot/sexy. Come on man, there is beauty in everybody, appreciate that, praise it if you like. Just don't pass awful remarks on how and what they wear! And also they can have friends of their own right? I mean the guy-friends. Now, having such friends is also seen as a crime by some of the people here. Is that it? No. They have to leave some sarcastic, most hurting, unspeakable comments on them. 

Yesterday, I was just shaken up by the brutality of some sick insane people when I read an article about an unfortunate incident to an unfortunate lady by some bloody bastards. Is it that difficult to keep in their pants or what. Like all humans, the unfortunate lady also has a life and those bastards had to ruin it. Where is the sanity of the people? Where is the humanity? Is this the only alarming case. Each day, we come across hundreds of similar incidents. In mind I have already started their torture. People say they should be hanged. What good does it do? I would show them hell, each day, every hour, every minute if possible. Because those people who suffered have to go through their life thinking about it every moment. And I sure believe, that is called living-hell. So, if I sound Insane or like a Psycho, deal with it. There are much worse people there out in the world. 

P.S. I am sorry. I got carried away by anger and the increasing insanity of the people. A simple thought leads to a greater invention. And that similar thought also ruins someones life. And that's why I feel sorry for my friends and myself. That's why I sometimes feel like I should be some sort of vigilante, or Dexter Morgan, may be. And I have no idea what the title has to do with whatever I just wrote. And also Sorry for the uncensored words. I tried my best to replace them with other words, but I just couldn't. 

Living Up With....

I have always been a lone person. Well, it means that I like being alone and taking care of myself. So, for the four years of my college I opted to be alone. Besides the fact that I am crazy, stupid and all, I always needed space. I have never understood the reason for myself being such an as$. I needed space just for the studying. You seem I am the bee, oh no that's not it, yeah.... a fly. It just flies away at everything. So am I. I get distracted with the minutest of the possible things. And the thing to get better grades was one reason I preferred alone. Because then at least I get to meet a little of the expectations, parents expectations. First year, I had a roommate, but he used to be out with his friends. So, fortunately I was alone. Second year, I took a single room in a hostel. It was one packed up box, but I managed it as well. Third year, my parents bought a home, so I stayed there for like a month or so and was kicked out because one fine day I didn't had lunch and my uncle caught me. And then I came to college hostel, which I hated the most. But fortunately, no roommate was assigned to me. Hmph. At the end of the third year, I had a roommate, who then cleared out to another room with his friend in the fourth year. And the fourth year was the same, no roommate. So, practically speaking, I have no roommate experience. And need I say, I am no roommate material. 

College was over and am stuck with a job. Fortunately, I made a few friends with whom I am staying right now. But still, I am same crazy-stupid guy that you will ever know. My roommates have friends, I mean like a lot of friends and Bangalore being the HUB of software industry(sort of) most people stay here and have to come here for exams. So, I have heard my friend mentioning that everybody finds you calm and silent and busy with your gadgets. And I got those compliments from a lot of people. Those are not called compliments, dumba$s. You clearly don't have a social life, or you have no idea how to live in it. I didn't just hear that from my conscious. 

So, how would you find me if you happen to be in my room? In front of laptop, headphones plugged in with full volume, to which the neighbor can hear the songs, a remote in hand and eyes shuffling from laptop to tv in precise amounts of time. If it is not called crazy, I don't know what is. Well, so you get the point right? I get a lot of questions about my being silent ( here I get implies that my friends get those questions from their friends). 

As of now, I stay in a one bed-room flat with a kitchen (which doesn't look like one, it looks more like a room enough just for the shoes) and a hall. I stay in the hall because I get the tv to myself for all night and day long. And in the one bed room we have there are 3 guys stay. Above us there live another three people who are friends of my roommates and spend most of their time in our flat. Enough of the boring pep talk about how crazy you are and how crazy are people about you. Get on with it and say what you wanted to say. And while you are at it, try to get a life. 

Living up with MARS. 

MARS is the acronym that one of the genius roommate gave where each alphabet is the starting letter of our names. So, the wifi also has the same name - MARS. These are some incredible guys ( not in a sarcastic way) plus there are three more people from upstairs. So, since I have a tendency to judge people and write stuff about them, I ma here again. And someone was trying to get rid of it. Yeah, I was. But unfortunately, I have a feeble mind. 

The  Perfectionist/Daddy-Figure/(the list continues)

This guy is the replica of neatness and a perfectionist. I mean come on, who has the time to clean up ones' room everyday? He has got brains, he has got charms, well... in simple words he got everything. But that's not enough. Probably one already knows how the guys keep their rooms and their belongings. Look at me for instance, I have everything on my bed itself - laptop, phone, iPod, iPod-charger, headphones, tv remote, Mobile Charger, laptop table, some books, my bag, bread toaster. And it takes like a life-time to clean it up every night. Obviously, right? But this guy has a perfectly arranger wardrobe, bed, books, plates and everything that he is concerned with. I don't know whom he is going to marry but I am pretty sure his wife would be damn happy. She wouldn't have to do anything. I mean this guy will take care of it, more like he will make sure that the work is done, if that has to be done by himself. He sure does the household stuff pretty perfectly. So, his wife would be one damn lucky person. Moving on... he got a bright mind and a fast imagination. And when he speaks English, suddenly his voice changes. There is change in is accent and tries to look like he speaks English very well and he stress most of the words he say. He speaks everything that comes to his mind. But sometimes what happens is that he wants to tell something and he gets cut off in the middle. Like someone making up the thing at the last moment and which goes terribly wrong. So he finishes up with some funny words that comes to his mind. He is an initiator. He would probably take the initiative and is the authoritative person among us. He leads the changes and the remaining guys follow it. And I too am compelled to follow it. Sometimes, it sucks, well most of the times. So, I keep it to myself  and get busy in my work of doing-nothing. I mean he gets all the crazy ideas and the others find it fascinating. Come on, I may be crazy but I don't do crazy ideas. He has got some unique persona which is quite difficult to understand and more difficult to explain.  Some of the guys nick-named him Daddy for various reasons including which I have mentioned.

Before coming to Bangalore, I was at a training in Trivandrum where this same guy was in my project team and he happened to be the team lead, since he is intelligent. And what more? He was my partner. I was much pissed off by his crazy ideas and more by his holding on to it, even more by his trying to explain what he says is right. Some people know something, but everything? Gimme a break please. And now I am stuck with the same guy. Well, he is a Genius for sure. But come on, I don't do genius stuff. Coming to the funny part. If the water is finished in the water tank, probably you can point your finger to this guy. We have trouble making time to bath one a day and this guy would do the same more than twice in a single day. And there are people without enough water in Africa. What's fascinating is what is does afterwards. His complexion is already fair and can be termed as white. But no, he would empty bottles of face powder. If you see something really really white on the streets, don't get scared. That would probably that would be this guy. And we wonder what would happen if he were supposed to be she. He would probably need a room full of cosmetics. 

The Shouty.
This guy is two years elder to us. But we don't usually keep a count of the age, I mean we don't mind who is elder or younger. Out of the Blue, I hear shouts and whistles. I mean like real loud. Don't know what gets over him but he gets excited, I suppose. He just shouts at the top of his voice. In other context, if the remaining guys in the room plan to go home, though this guy has no plans for going home, he would be the first one to go to home. That happens all of a sudden. The worst part is that when he comes back from office, we have to deal with some serious stink of his socks, even if the socks are brand new. 

Apart fro mall this, we are all allocated some domain for the projects. It was rumored that this guys domain have a waiting period of 14 months and they are not many projects. But fortunately, he is already mapped into a project while I am stuck with no projects. Yeah, I don't want any project for another month or at least for this month. I just planned to go home and the time doesn't seem to favor me in this quest. :[

A Little Unfortunate. 
There is nothing much to tell about this guy. He is really a nice guy except that he had a unpleasant experience. He was mapped into a project which he didn't like. So he talked to the responsible people and those people told him to get out of it. A lot happened while he was in the process of getting out of the project. Some unpleasantaries were exchanged with their immediate superior. Since they told him to leave, so he didn't go to office for 2 days. But when he didn't go to office for 2 days, the issue was escalated to the higher authorities and they told him to come to office from the next day itself. Now, that would be a little awkward to work where one just wanted to quit and everybody knows about it.

Those were my roommates. There are three more people to add to this. One of the guy is nice, friendly and all. While his roommates always brags about his complexion being black. One time, it is ok, 2nd time also one might hear but repeated expressions about the same just pisses off. And he would like something to be done, but he doesn't want to do it. I really don't understand what he thinks. He is the one initiating that we should do something, but then again he is the one acting all lazy and not willing to do that work. He doesn't think before he speaks. Sometimes he says something harsh, some times he tells his office password. And the last but not the least who is too much worried about the declining hairline and who never stops commenting on anything he has eyes on and he never stops questioning at all. And all those are silly stupid questions. 

So what do I do when I am being stuck in their situations. First thing is that these guys stay up most of the nights talking about their childhood and about other people they work with. Aww .... thats' cute. Don't give me that cute-thing. Last time I checked who would spend all night talking was my mother and her sister. And the real problem is when I can't here the TV because these guys are chatting about something. Come on, the TV volume is blaring out and I still have to read the subtitles just because I can't here a thing. When I get down to write some blog, I face the same problem. So, what I do is plug in my Headset and keep the volume at MAX and write. That's what I am doing right now. That's what I had been doing for all my previous posts. And what more ? I can't even read a novel, because there is always some jibber-jabber going around all the time. So, Music On, Novel Read. Music On, Write a Blog-Post. Music On, Think.Yeah, thinking also.  What can I say, I'm Insane & totally Crazy. 

Impression.

"First Impression is the last impression". I have heard this for a long time. Almost everyone refers to the same thing. But does it really hold that long? I seriously doubt that. One might like something or lets say that someones' impression is good the first time, then probably it is a challenge for that someone to hold on to that impression he/she might have made. And then if that someones' impression after a period of time doesn't speak the the first impression, the first one is forgotten. Am I wrong? And vice-versa. But the problem is that if the first impression is not good the first time, it does leave a lasting impression. But all people are not same, and the behavior changes with time, maturity, et cetera factors. Recently, I have realized that. Lets say, I have been a victim. 

All happened when I was going to watch the Twilight Movie. At first, I liked the movie. Though I didn't read the novel, but I still wanted to watch the movie. What more? I even copied it into my iPod Touch. But then, there were some Twilight-Haters. And the Facebook was overcrowded with memes making fun of the Twilight series. Seeing that too often, I also changed my opinion. But deep inside, I knew I liked it. But I pretended as if I hated it. Don't really know why ? That just puzzles me. 

Then there is Justin Bieber. He is just a kid. But most part of the world just hates him and to add to their hatred, they say He is Gay. I am not sure what's true. But it does leave some impression that that dude is Gay. 

Then there is One Direction. I don't understand why people hate them. I know that there are a lot of people (girls) liking, I mean loving them. I haven't head to any of their songs. You ask why? Well, the impression that the other people left on me. 

Likewise, everything leaves a impression- a good or a bad one. And if I am not wrong, I always leave a bad impression. Well, for starters I aint Perfect. To be frank, I over-analyze people and I tend to end up writing about them which is what I have been preventing so far. But the circumstances and their behavior is compelling me to. 

I say it is a fluctuating phenomenon. Impressions change with time, people, behaviors and many other factors. So, is the First impression is the last impression? 

Sneak-a-Peek.

The Inspiration Thing.

Every author needs an inspiration. Every musician who composes needs an inspiration. Every teacher who teaches needs the same thing to keep going every day. And the list continues. Each work has to be unique and authenticated. So, this is not an overnight process. It takes time. But eventually, they complete. So, Whats the case with me? I have been searching for some sot of inspiration for like 2 months. I just cleared my bookshelf with some novels which I didn't read. But still, I have nothing. Usually, the exam time happens to be the best time. I really don't know how, but I mostly note the key points  more like ideas necessary for the upcoming blog/write ups. But now that I am doing a job, without even going to the office has just made me more of a couch potato ( hell yeah, I am gaining weight) and my mind numb. I mean like really numb, more like it is in some sort of coma. Almost everyday I open the Blogger and read the latest posts and I even open the comment box to comment, but then I have no idea what to comment. Everything in my mind seems obsolete to me and I end up closing the tab going back to my blog. I open the draft and the draft lies like that for another 10-15 minutes and then I close  it and watch some TV. And after an hour or so, the process repeats. So, I am still in the hunt for inspiration, I guess. So, recently I came up with an idea along with my brother that we suggest a topic each day and at the end of the day, we will read each others and after a week, I might get back on track and complete the lame story I started in my fiction-story-writing -blog. So, my bro comes up with the topic Snacks. Seriously, Snacks. Come on, man. When I get back home, he'll probable have to deal with me. I knew what compelled him to go for that topic. I asked him to come up with a topic by 5 in the evening and we will write on it by 10 and review by 12. It seemed like a nice idea, for me at least until he came up with the topic Snacks,  because 5 pm is usually the snacks time. Seriously? Here I am trying to get some inspiration and that topic made me hungry. Not cool, dude. Then I compelled him to think outside the box and not to tell everything that you see. Later the previous night, he comes up another topic, more like the 5th standard Essay topic for the weekend. Hmm... May be these days, children are doing that essay writing in much younger age I guess. So, I am back to the 5th standard.

- "Dude, You need a hobby" my conscious says. Hell, yeah, I need one. I got a camera which stays in my cupboard all day long and no matter whenever I try to go out to explore and click some pics, God knows how, but I have no clue how I get that lazy. I get 90% ready to pack up and go out for a photo-session, but then again I end up in front of the laptop open the blog and doing the same routing which is probably on repeat mode in my mind. 

- Have you ever seen the comedy TV series where after a every small joke, there is a laughter sound of a bunch of people. So, one of my friends says that they laugh to make us know that there was a joke/humor in the previous dialogue. Probably, they don't really understand the joke that's  why they ask for subtitles. And also, In reality there are actually people watching that show live. And those are the people laughing at the jokes. Not some computer edited laughter noise. 

- I got a mail regarding some medical consultation which read as : Free consultation at 10% Discount. Now what's free and what's that discount for? 

- It hasn't been a week in the December month, or let me put it this way - It hasn't been a week since I got my salary that I almost spent 75% of it, or may be more. Insane, right? Yeah, I have been calling myself that for long, but do I have to prove it every minute of what? I need to get a hold of myself. Damn you Online Shopping. :[

- Its December, so its the Resolution month. Like all previous years, I would make up the same old resolutions as always and probably break each and every one of it and even crush it. Wait a minute, what were my New Yea Resolutions last year? I don't have a clue. Since, I am busy breaking all the resolutions every year, probably this time I should add "will not/ shall not/ should not" to all that are there in my resolution list. So, that way I would be able to do each and every resolution. Seems like a nice idea to me. :)

- That's it, I guess. My battery is out, I guess. My thinking capability is limited to nothing, so this is where I should probably end before I mess up things.

- I stared at the laptop for around 15 minutes for a topic for this write-up. Bloody hell, I am not getting a single topic in my head. Sneak-a-what.....Wth was that? Come on dude, You can do much better than that. 

Words.

Rumble, Mumble, Jumble, 

I play with the words, 

Despite they making no sense

I end up killing the essence.

I try, you know, 

But all I get is a space, 

So Void, So Blank, 

Yet, I try to paint anything but Black.

I see an empty vessel
Waiting to be complete
I put my thoughts to fill
Perhaps, it needs much more skill.

They say, there is light
At the end of the tunnel.
But where does the tunnel begin
And where does it end?

I try to reason
With Past and Present.
So I mention in assumption,
But, Its' just my imagination.

The pieces lay scattered,
I try to assemble them.
Easy as it seems, Much difficult it is.
After all, I just Rumble, Mumble and Jumble.

- Ajay Kontham [ 2012]

#Jumble #Worambling #Words 

P.S. : I think the title of the Post isn't that apt. Actually, there wasn't supposed to be any Post-Script. I felt like it was empty-sort-of, so I am filling this up with much more ... what do we call it ? hmm...er..yeah...Nonsense! 

Idle.

It's a one time thing. It always is. So, I finally hit the 150 number on the follower list and also the page view hit 30k. Yeah, that is something for me. Over 80% of those people don't visit often. But you would be wondering Then, how come that many hits. That's the point there. I am on a spree of publishing my blog as if it is a classic piece of work. And you all must already be knowing what kind of stuff that I write here. Yeah, That, which you just thought in your mind. 

Its' a one time thing. I have made, motivated and even sort of forced some of my friends to write a blog. Call me insane, for I am. So, some of the guys came up to my idea and started writing. And some other were planing to write but, never did. So, whenever they come across my blog, this is what happens. People woo when they read my about me. Seriously, it is a mix-up of all things! People get a bit amazed when they see the number of blogs I maintain. People get a little startled when they see the snaps I take. Though I try to tell them that I am not the best they have seen, there are a lot waiting for your eyes, they just think that I am a bit better than them. They ask me more about blogging. And then thats' it. I have a blog, do I? They make me feel like this. 

There is a difference between I and me. I am just the face I want them to see. The face that is masked by me. The difference is that they see something which they don't they have. They don't know themselves, like I don't know myself. I am no professional, in any of that stuff. Writing - No. Photography - No. I'm just other amateur learning to weave out of the silk, just feeling the depth of the water before I really dive in. I am confused. 

I am just lost. Lost ? I hear the conscious shout! My conscious believes in fairy tales, the happy endings. Hell No, it doesn't. At least that's I want to believe. That it would end and it would be something good. But the conscious has exactly the opposite thing in mind, though. My conscious says its a trash. The instability is so intense that it has long forgotten that it has lost its path and is wandering the path of unknown leading god knows where. Ever had the feeling that once you never knew familiarizes itself in a span of some days. So, this lost thing which my mind just wanted to overcome became so different that it feels like it knows everything. Practically speaking, lost is the new home. It just disregards the idea of being lost, though the actual thing had to happen. May be the time spent in it has familiarized it so that it feels like the home, but in a new way. Any way to convince would be just waste of time. 

I kind of drifted away into something which doesn't make sense to me at all. Wait a minute, what the hell did I just write? Does that make any sense? See, that what happens when you don't know what you are doing!!! Get a life, dude. Seriously, a real life. Not the one with the crazy-old laptop of yours and that one with the iPod. 

Everything at Once.

I have been running from whatever that is I don't have a clue about. I wake up each day somewhere around afternoon, don't even have my breakfast and by the way the breakfast that is served here is worst...more like yuk, but food is food right. So, I don't discourage others and I don't go for breakfasts. Sometimes I open up the toaster and get some bread and jam and get it over with it. But that is when I am bored. Oh, wait a minute, I dont have a job to do, so all that I do is fool around, more likely fooling myself. Whats' the deal with my job? Yeah, exactly, a repelling question which I deal with every f*king morning. Pardon my french, I might have gone crazy. I might have. I have seen some horror movies besides me hating them to the core. Some of them are for people called loonies/ lunatics. I might just be one of them, but I think I am a little sane. Because I do my work.... which is? Now, please don't bring that up... Because I don't have a slightest clue about it myself.

I open blogger. Yeah, today seems like a good day to write something. A month has passed with every morning with my mind filled with the same old schedule. But what happens afterwards, I have no idea. Time fades away and it feels like its kicking me with each passing second. So what is that I am doing these days. You might laugh. But I am doing more online shopping these days and you have no idea what I want and the list keeps piling up. Oh god, give me a million bucks though it is still not enough, but I will manage. And what the hell is wrong with the prices. Even the discounted price seems like reaching the skies. 

Shopping. Online shopping. Yeah. I prefer Fipkart. And it is the best I have known. Before the home delivery from Flipkart, I used online shopping back when I was in my 10th grade. Back in those days people used to go for Tutions for extra coaching and getting a higher mark/percentage. My whole class was involved in that except me. Now, don't think high of me. NO, I am not an exceptional student who excelled in every subject. No, not even near it. So, my dad bought those all subjects interactive CD's. And at that time, Indiatimes shopping did a good job packing and delivering it. So, for now Flipkart is quite awesome mostly for books. Not only that I also buy electronic goods as well. So, A few days back I was in search of a Sweatshirt with a hood, I searched all clothing sites but didn't find what I wanted. Finally I compromised on something near to what I had in mind.But I realized it exceeded my budget 2x times. But even then I bought it. Now, who wont call me crazy. 

Everything at Once. 

So, heard the song Everything at Once by Lenka, well the New Microsoft Windows 8 advertisement song. It is pretty good. So, I downloaded the song once I heard it and set it as my message tone. So, even if you had to text me with a single letter 'K', there would be a 4 minute song. So, this virus just spread into the other people in my room and it is their ring tone. I hate it when they copy from me. So, when the song plays four people check whose phone it is. Yeah, Pretty weird. Why am I mentioning this? Because 

I have just installed Win 8 Pro . Thanks to my bro. And it is awesome. I am still experimenting with it but still it seems pretty cool. 

Apart from that, Does anybody watch TV Series? Or is everyone like my freaking roommates? Please don't get me started on them. I could go on and on about those spectacular (sarcasm, huh?) personalities. But I will give them a pass for now. And this doesn't mean I won't. I will not because I hate it, but because I just want to tell that there are people like that as well. So, where was I? Yeah, TV series. And when I tell that I don't mean the soap-operas. God No! How does people watch them ? I am speaking about those on Fox and HBO and some other related channels. 

Dexter, anyone? 

The new season is pretty awesome. But what I hate themost is waiting for a week to download the latest one episode. There is a new twist and it just keeps better. And It seems like Dexter fell for a girl again. And this time, with other factors haunting about the Ice-Truck-Killer slowly surfacing just rises the anxiety. So watch out, who is he gonna kill next breaking his code. 

- Bones.

- Castle

- The Mentalist

And New on the Block, Arrow.

It is pretty clean and topping my watchlist. May be because I always wanted to write more on Vigilante stuff. And this just beats me. If I were to write, I had to beat this. And when I map my projections of my mind about the thought which keep unfurling before me when ever I want to write about such stuff, my imagination gets beaten down. So, all I have to do is think out of the box, cube, sphere; whatever it is. 

And yeah, before I forget, I didn't sleep last night. I had some trouble installing Win8 and more over I was getting pretty good internet download speed. So, I was hanging out all night and what more? I went for jogging. Yeah, after a long long long time, I finally went. But I hadn't slept for the whole night and after I returned back, I had a very little sleep for like 2-3 hours, I think. Well, who is keeping a count. 

And another thing. Kiara. Thanks for the comment. I was having a feeling that I was totaly forgotten and I had to build up my reign all over again. Well, one is down, I guess. Lets bag the remaining. :P #JustKidding

Well, See you. Nighty-Night.

I hope to be more regular from now often. 

Take Care. :)

Snooze.

I stare at the empty walls. I feel a little lost, a little absent. I have stopped giving effort. I have lost the sensitive touch of the hard life. There were times when I used to think about problems and dream about them to solve them. Now, I have an empty mind. I don't have a clue where to start, what to start with. I feel as if I switched off my mind or something. There is emptiness. There is darkness and I just added more darkness. 

The dawn broke down. The Sun rose up beyond the horizon and I still lay there on my bed hitting SNOOZE, every time. Tick Tock, the voice which I heard the least was lost in the morning bliss. Well, what worse could happen? I had no office, thank god for that. Yeah, No office since a week. One that's great, pretty great. I don't have to go to office and I don't have to get ready, I don't have to wake up early. Phew, that's a lot of things that could be struck out. Now, what great can I do staying in my room filled with the flying dust of the nearby building-construction site. The TV is ON, the moment I wake up and not to mention my laptop is fired up even before it, I mean I don't shut down it. It does its work , never the less until one day it breaks down, flushes itself into the deepest darkest hole and then its time for me to start cursing ans swearing. No, I am not kidding. You already knew? 

*Click* *Click* *Click* , I change the channels on the TV. Being bored of watching the repeated shows over and over again, I close it, I mean MUTE it, to be precise. I hand my laptop from my bedside, and it is already connected to internet downloading some TV Series. Oh, yeah, I haven't written a blog since forever. I better brush up my mind and get down into writing business. Well, the page is blank as a new fresh leaf shining white in its attire. I think. Think. Think. I start, not yet, I am still processing in my mind. Oh, god, I am slower than the Internet Explorer. What happened to me ? No idea, what-so-ever! I need a hobby. Writing is my hobby and its down the drain. Damn! Whats going on inside my mind. Am I losing myself? That preposterous assumption would be disheartening! What the hell? No, I am not losing myself. Or I already lost myself. Arghh.... I have no f"ng idea. The drafts are empty and I was shocked when I deletes 35 empty drafts for the last month. That's embarrassing but I am still bragging about it. 

The TV Series are better than most of the freaking movies. I feel they do more work in doing that 50 minute show to be telecasted every once a week, than making a regional movie, the movie in my language. Seriously, most movies suck. And more over the freaking (you read it wrong) wi-fi hasn't yet been set up, so I have to spend a pretty much more from my pocket which I wanted to avoid it so far. Damn you owners of this Paying Guest, why the hell don't you do your f"ng job properly? 

So, no social life, no other life, nothing. Just living in the dust which I spread on myself. But, I have developed to eat these days. I mean I could go without eating for a day and a half, even more but I didn't try over the just-mentioned value. Though breakfasts are a pass, but lunch and dinner are must, even if it is as small as a bite. Sometimes, I don't sleep and sometimes I don't sleep. Hmm..er.. I said it twice, didn't I ? My room mates call me the gadget guy and insomniac. Oh, hell they are right! Though, I still need to get a lot more gadgets. Only if I win a big pocket lottery. Yeah, you wish! 

Times Up! Wait for what? For your normal functioning of the brain. You have done so much  better than the past 2 months. Kidding. *coughs* This *coughs* guy *coughs* SUCKS *coughs*! Big TIME. Yeah, whatever! Time to set alarm. for snoozing. Com'on !!! Grow up dude !!