Personality Trait - Sanity or Insanity.

I have always been a judge of other people. The people with whom I stay, the people I see, the people I talk to. In simple words, all people. That's my habit. I know I am Insane. But what can I say? I can't help with it. It is just how my brain works.  

I live in a metropolitan city. I come across a lot of people, a lot of different people and a lot of interesting people. I am judgmental person, you can say. I drop into conclusions and keep analyzing them over and over again. I get tired of doing that. I keep myself away from the worldly insanity and the hearth-pinching remarks on the other people. In my mind, I kill them several times. But I just give back a smile. If they do too much out of their insanity, I get a little agitated and exchange wordy disgust on their conduct. Some people piss me off. I am no good person, I know that. And I don't have the 'so-called-right' to judge people. So, myself and my conscious are always in a battle on this very topic. But the insanity of the people never cease to end and my unacknowledged brain never stops blabbering about it. So, what I do instead of what I do in my mind. I write and let off my guard and hope that it rests here. But I doubt that. People don't change. People don't read my blog, either. Seriously, I have over 150 followers and in that only 5% people read it. True Story. But why does the visitor count keeps increasing? Its' all Spam, like the people's mind. 

Come on, man. I don't recommend my blog to my brother only. Here some unknown stranger has told some other mad fellow that this blog is worth reading. Come on, don't kid yourself. 

So, Coming to the topic at hand. Why am I so compelled to write about this stuff? Some recent events have triggered my sanity held deep inside me by the unwelcoming-unspeakable comments on other people. What has triggered it? I will come to it shortly. 

We are humans. We make mistakes. We like some people, we hate some, we love some, we envy some, we really really hate some, etc. And now there are two types of humans-man and woman. I can't say much about women because I have no knowledge of them whatsoever. I mean look at me, me? talking to girls ? .. no way... But my mind sure does its analysis part on its own. But I have stopped that. I have even stopped thinking at least for a second. But what can I say, the mind does what it pleases. 

Recently, we had a new comer to our Hostel a.k.a. Paying Guest(PG). Since his room was not yet decided properly, he stayed in our flat. Well, he is mutual friend. Since 'boys will be boys', the usual topic/debate about the girls started. And I am no where involved in their discussion. I am the silent sitting duck in another room. And what more, we are all single guys. So, what does come to mind? A relationship! Let truth be told, I don't like the idea of being in love/ relationship kind of bullshit. Your opinions may differ with mine. Sorry about that because the worse is yet to follow. 

Whenever we go out for a casual snacks or shopping, the guys start checking out the girls all around them. That's common right? I used to, but I kind of dislike the idea now. I really don't know the reason. May be this could be the reason - I feel totally uncomfortable when someone looks at me and its even worse when I feel that someone is looking at me. I have to sit right, act right, bla bla bla things have to be done perfectly and this is all because someone is looking at me. Even if I am siting in the middle of a bus or walking on the street. So, I am stuck with the thought that ogling makes people(or at least me) uncomfortable. Let me give you a simple example. A guy is looking at a girl and that girl suddenly catches him looking at her. What usually goes in their mind? As far I know, that disgusts most people. So, that's why I don't even bother to give them a chance in the first place to get disgusted. May be some people like attention and want to be seen by everyone. And some really don't, I guess. But it is totally different if some guy catches a girl looking at him.

So, where was I? Yeah, guys checking out gals... If it just their beauty that they are bothered about I would have joined their cause. But they exceed the normal limits of sane thinking. They cross the line and let me say thats' totally disgusting when we hear those remarks/comments. They are also human beings for god's sake. If only they heard what these people say in whispers, the thought itself is disgusting. 

Recently we went to an amusement Park- WonderLa here in Bangalore. It was a great experience. So as usual there were water rides and all that stuff. The downpoint was that the pool was combined having both the genders. Now, need I say more about the insanity of the guys. One of my friends was totally head over heals moving here and there, not staying at a certain place. He says we have to enjoy every minute of it and his adrenaline-rushing excitement was a total creepy excitement.  He was in constant search of a better looking gal near the pool....I just can't say more... I feel sorry for myself because I stay in a world like that. Is this what we have come to? Are all the people like this? I feel sorry for them. Actually, I don't. Remember what my mind does to such people! I feel like that. 

Obviously most girls are better looking than most of the guys. Or that's what we tend to think. Of course they are Hot, sexy and they may wear whatever pleases them. They may like it, adore it. And that gives them personal satisfaction that they look cool/hot/sexy. Come on man, there is beauty in everybody, appreciate that, praise it if you like. Just don't pass awful remarks on how and what they wear! And also they can have friends of their own right? I mean the guy-friends. Now, having such friends is also seen as a crime by some of the people here. Is that it? No. They have to leave some sarcastic, most hurting, unspeakable comments on them. 

Yesterday, I was just shaken up by the brutality of some sick insane people when I read an article about an unfortunate incident to an unfortunate lady by some bloody bastards. Is it that difficult to keep in their pants or what. Like all humans, the unfortunate lady also has a life and those bastards had to ruin it. Where is the sanity of the people? Where is the humanity? Is this the only alarming case. Each day, we come across hundreds of similar incidents. In mind I have already started their torture. People say they should be hanged. What good does it do? I would show them hell, each day, every hour, every minute if possible. Because those people who suffered have to go through their life thinking about it every moment. And I sure believe, that is called living-hell. So, if I sound Insane or like a Psycho, deal with it. There are much worse people there out in the world. 

P.S. I am sorry. I got carried away by anger and the increasing insanity of the people. A simple thought leads to a greater invention. And that similar thought also ruins someones life. And that's why I feel sorry for my friends and myself. That's why I sometimes feel like I should be some sort of vigilante, or Dexter Morgan, may be. And I have no idea what the title has to do with whatever I just wrote. And also Sorry for the uncensored words. I tried my best to replace them with other words, but I just couldn't.