Reason.

I have been a little preoccupied lately. Preoccupied? I don't even know what the word means! Well, let me say, I haven't written anything worthwhile in this month. And I know there is this May Challenge that I am doing, I mean confessing and all. I mean come on, who wants some guy's confession, well that too on a repeat mode, each day. That sure does drive people crazy, believe me. You don't believe me, do you? Okay, here's a little proof. 

Well, okay. That's my cousin. And I gave her a link to my poetry. Now see what's happened to her. May be, it could be that you still haven't realized yet. And I am afraid it is inevitable. You just dived too deep to get out. Wait, you are not actually believing this, are you? Well, that's up to you to ponder over it. 

The thing is that, I have been on an edge lately. A slight flinch can cause some dangerous/unwanted things. I really don't know the reason.  Or there are too many reasons  I am not so sure about it. I have been in a constant conversations with myself, sometimes cursing every little thing that happens in front of my eyes, sometimes shouting/screaming in silence, sometimes ranting about the same and sometimes questioning God. But that leads me to nowhere. The day ends, another begins and the same continues. That could be the reason for my irregularity in the blog posts and as well the decreasing quality of my writings. Oh, boy! Something is seriously wrong with me, isn't it? Yeah, I need help, I guess or like figuring out a solution or something like that. Well, I ended up with the solution, but it doesn't seem likely to happen anytime soon, as a matter of fact it is not something one would wish to be a solution.

I wish I  could  write what I actually wanted to write. I am just at loss of words in that case. You could say, I could just pen it down and get over with it. Yeah, that sounds about easy. But somethings are such that that however deeply one wants to express, the words don't seem to find their way. I question myself about what is that that holds me back and why is it so hard and again I am in an isolated place screaming in silence, breaking things and doing everything that I despise doing. Why? As I write this, even then I feel myself in my mind saying - Vent it out. But then again, all this seems too good to be true. All I could do is cry in silence. 

I don't want you people to understand what this is all about. It is me, an agitated mind and I am clearly unsure about how to vent out something that has been buried so deep and yet surfacing at the very verge of my lips, a moment's gap. I might just pen it down someday and that day you would know about why and what all this is about. Frankly speaking, I have no idea what I am even writing, I am still trying to find words from the confused mind. The only thing that bothers me is that it is a difficult task to find solace with that, and the day when I do, everything would have ended. Everything.

P.S. That photo may be uncalled for, but I just of writing something else at the beginning but ended up with something entirely different. May be we should just exchange places because that would be the perfect situation. And one more thing, the topic doesn't make any sense either. I thought of warning you people at the beginning like Read at your own risk but I don't know why I didn't. 

Ponder.

Day 12, Sunday

What do you miss? 

(A person, a thing, a place, a time of your life...)

___________________

Hmph... I ponder and look back at the days or the places or anything that I would like to revisit or lets say miss. I don't quite seem to jump on one single thing. As a matter of fact, I got none in my mind to even start with. I ponder again What do I miss? ... hmm.. What do I miss? Just plain blank. Now the question has changed in my mind to Why don't I have one? Or did I just forget? Well, if I had forgotten, then it is something that I never missed. Thats' plain a ans simple logic. So, back to the second question - Why don't I have one? as in like Why don't I remember anything that I miss? Too many times, I have asked myself and I feel dejected since it was going no where. 

My Conclusion - I guess I am just a heartless, feeling-less soul. 

Well, I better stop here. 

Sell ?

Day 11, Saturday

Sell yourself in 10 words or less.

___________________

Wow. This sounds interesting. I will see how much I am worth. Hehe. So, let me bring out the best, hope you don't find any of the bluffs.

1. Creative. 

2. Photographer.

3. Helpful.

4. Imaginative.

5. Thinker.

6. Sensitive.

7. Funny.

8. Silent.

9. Writer.

10. Friendly.

Ok. I have no idea what to write here. I hope you don't find any of the bluff cards on the board. 

Wait! I just realized, I could never be sold. In fact, if there was something like that, I will have to pay for myself in order to sell myself. Yeah, that's right, I will have to pay and be sold. :P 

Spill the beans.

Day 10, Friday

Most embarrassing moment (s). Spill. 

________________________

Ah! I was just trying to run away from this question. I tried almost everything to dodge and hide away somewhere deep just to avoid this question, or lets say this topic. I am still thinking whether I should just spill them out or give it a pass. Because if it's one, I wouldn't even have had this discussion in my mind. On thinking really hard and banging my head on the wall, I think I will spill. 

1 .The Wrongly Accused : It sometimes happens that we are in the middle of something we don't want to be, but unfortunate circumstances make us to be there. Or in most cases we aren't even aware of something that has happened. And then suddenly we see some fingers pointing at us. Well, I am in a state of confused dilemma looking at the fingers being pointed at me and the reason behind it. When I accustom myself with the knowledge of those pointing hands, I feel like When did that happen and why are even pointing at me? I disagree with their accusations and try to jump into a safe land, but those people keep pulling down. Similar things happened to me.

a. Some of the guys, friends took something of like a tazo (heard of them? I guess you have-those Pokemon thingy on round or rectangular cards of plastic a few years back). I reason was like he was being overly smart and pissing off these guys in every way possible.  And I happened to the spectator of that and that these guys were my friends, the blame game started once the victim reached his home. Unfortunately, for me, that guys' parents are acquaintance of my parents and they lived down the road. And one more thing, this guy is way younger than us, like 4-5 years younger. So, this guy brings their parents to my house. I was shocked and they accuse me of stealing of something that I was least interested in. These are some desperate times when I try to justify myself, when that kid starts crying, crying over a few freaking tazo. And I am being dragged into the middle for questioning. 

b. It was lunch time. As usual some of the guys were playing in the classroom, throwing things at others like of stuff. A while later the Principal enters the class and address the few of the people to get out of the class. What happened was one of the guy who threw a chalk ended up someone's tiffin box. And I had no idea about that ever happening in the first place. I was just aware that people were throwing chalk pieces at each other. Again I am in the fix and had to deal with the Principal for something I didn't even do. And then there was this punishment to stand for the whole day. Totally insane on their part to not to know the exact deal over here.

These were a little uncalled for circumstances and that I have been a victim of the same. Moving on.

2. We were supposed to write a diary for each day spent in the summer vacation. I was so involved in doing mostly nothing and enjoying this doing nothing thing that I totally forgot to write the assignment for the summer vacation. The summer vacation ended and a week later we were supposed to submit the day to day diary for like 30-45 days. Oh, cr@p! I thought, I didn't write a single thing till that day. So within the next few days, I scribble all the way and submit it. Then, the teacher takes some time to read each and everyone's so called diary entry and then my book comes up. I made a small mistake, or rather a little big one, or whatever. I got a spelling wrong. And I kind of repeated the same thing in most of the pages. Because I thought that was the right spelling. So, what do I get for that? ...Umm...er... A slap, from a girl in my class. That's insane,  right? Okay, now don't ask what was the word which was wrongly written. 

I guess that's enough for now. I will write along the remaining ones in the posts to come. I usually do that, don't I? Now I am thinking why I had to reveal these things now. Hmph. 

Workaholic.

Day 9, Thursday

A moment in your day 

(This can be just a photo or both a photo and words.)

_____________________________________

That's an excellent topic. Too bad, I am not regular with my camera. I think I have packed and kept it deep inside some hole somewhere here or there. So, I went through a few of my old clicks and came up with the following. Though the topic says, just a photo, but you must be knowing by now that I am an excellent rule-breaker. 

Ok, that is me being too damn slow.
Believe me, I am way faster. 

This my friend is called a watch.

That's me having a stupendous meal.
Yeah, You are right. Every Night. 

Okay. Now lets get down to business. That was me putting up the nice act so far. So, here comes the actual thing.

Damn you, Alarm.

Yeah. That's Right, I am the hardest working guy at office....

The Workaholic Ajay

Ok, this is the last one. Enough bothering you with too much of truths in one day. 

Reaction to the People posting on Facebook and Twitter.

P.S. :  Dear People,
Don't get side tracked by the topics. If you see the topic and feel that there is something great in the post, then I am sorry to inform you that it's not true at all. My topics are so selected so as to attract people. Guess what, I am doing my job perfectly.  Sincerely,  The Topic Master-Genius. Ok. I have no idea what this word even means. Topic Master-Genius? Phew! What am I even thinking?

The Rogue.

Day 8, Wednesday

A piece of advice you have for others. Anything at all.

_____________________________

Well, lets be clear here. Advice? Me ? Yeah, Yeah, I too am laughing. Let me try. But also get this that I am the last person who should be giving any advice, keep aside the good or the bad thing. 

The recent incidents have triggered a lot of thoughts in my mind and they keep revolving. Yes, this is about the the present day society and the atrocities that are happening. 

The Judge : So, we have to ability to think and say our thoughts. That's the freedom in democracy. When I hear someone judging someone, I wonder who are they to even do that? I mean why does one even have to think about others, what they do,  what they wear, what they will do; when one has a swarm of problems with themselves to take care of. And one just can't go up to them and say, 'Buddy, Why don't you mind your own Business?". People don't listen to that advice. Who doesn't know to mind their own business? I know, you know, everybody does. Then why don't people do that? Are they bored to themselves that they have to think about others? May be that could be the case, else why would anyone do what they do? We might have heard this from a lot of people, 'Before you judge other people, look at yourself'. And let me say that we are not what we look like when we see ourself. We pretend, we act, we despise, we conspire, we do every shitty thing to make ourself look better. (Okay, you can replace we with my name). And at the end of the day, we are just the same old person putting our mask beside on the bed table. So, don't you dare judge. Yeah, I know you already know not to, but its human tendency to do that, though one doesn't want to. 

The Pervs : 

Dear people full of shit, 

Why can't you be just some nice guy admiring the beauty or if that's not your way the mind works then, why can't you just ignore? People have the right to do whatever they like. Again you are no judge of anything and your opinions don't matter to anyone. That being said, you just can't blurt out every fcuk'd up thing that goes in your mind. You see someone nice and you can just admire. Why is there a need to pass irrelevant and inappropriate remarks? Is it so hard to stfu and don't care? 

@The IPL frenzy guys : You watch an exciting match, that's well and good. You bet on the players, that's illegal but could be given a pass since you lose most of the times. The match is over. Now deal with your money, will ya ? But no, you have to watch the aftermath when the anchor pitches onto the field describing what a wonderful match it was.. Now this is also fine. Do you stop there? No. What does this even mean : Hey look at the angle from which the camera guy is shooting.... (Damn! I can't say anything further) . Well my friend, it is not the camera guy but you thinking that in a perverted sense. Please grow up. And don't call yourself mature unless you learn to respect others. I don't know whether you know how to respect others and other's wishes also or not? No, I won't confront you on this or any issue. Because I know you will backfire at me. Well, that's what we get for being nice and telling that you are doing wrong. You have a best degree, a decent paying job. Good for you. But that doesn't make you a decent man/person unless you act like one. 

Sincerely, 

Some Helpless-Angry Guy

The Almighty :

Dear God, 

When there is good in this world, I don't understand why there is bad. Please don't tell me it is to maintain balance. Or is me saying that. Whatever! If that's not true, then my question still stands firm - WHY ? May be if there is all good, there might be a possibility that people won't come to you. Is that it? Or is it again me saying that? So, don't let me keep saying things that you don't want to hear. Do something then. Well, start with me, if you are confused from where to start. 

Sincerely, 

Some Guy in Pain

The Rogue AK

Oh boy! That turned out to be very violent one. Well this is me being/going Rouge. You shouldn't be surprised if you find a few guys in the hospital claiming to have been beaten by some helpless-angry guy. Okay, the last point, I added after writing all this. I think I better stop here before I go totally rogue and god really takes up my advice and starts with me. Phew! That's scary enough for one day. I never knew I had these thoughts in my mind. Okay, I was just saying to be nice. My mind is filled with such thoughts. What I did't know was that it could be used for giving advice? Wait! Does this post even sound like giving advice or just venting out the anger. Please help me out here, I think I am confused.

P.S. : Now the topic. I have no idea why I even selected that to be as the title.

L!fe.

Day 7, Tuesday

The thing(s) you're most afraid of.

_________________________________

Let me make one thing clear. I ain't no afraid of anything. When I say anything, it sure means anything under the sun and the moon. So, I must be invincible, isn't that right? May be I am, or may be not. So, I ponder at the thought and I kept thinking, what scares me more and what am I afraid of? I am left clueless. Actually No, there is something ; but I am not sure whether that called being afraid of or what. May be I should pen it down and then decide.

As I look deep into the empty night sky, a chilly wind sweeps across my face. I plunge into the thought of being afraid of. I leave a silent mocking laugh. Because the thing I am afraid of is such. Though I said, I am not afraid of anything and that I am invincible. Well, I ain't no superman or batman. As a matter of fact, Superman is afraid of Kryponite and Batman of bats. So, people are afraid of something or the other. So, a question comes to my mind. Do gods' have anything to be afraid of? At first, I thought what would be there for them to be afraid of as they are totally invincible. But then again, there is me. Though I am not a scary figure, but I guess I am just as much scary as anything else. 

So, back to the question. What am I afraid of ? Well, for starters, I am afraid of Life. I really don't understand that because I am not afraid of the so called death but life has been one thing that seems to surprise me all the time. And these surprises are not anything near nice or pleasant, but exactly the opposite. Not that I don't like surprises but at least once in a while there should be good surprises right? 

The Other Perspective!

Sometimes I feel I am being followed. Followed everywhere I go. As if they are tracing my footprints with a powerful dog like an Alsatian or a Doberman. Or like an Eagle eye. My each work being noted and briefed. My insight has been barred, the life gets to stake, when each step of yours leaves a mark, and everybody tends to look up at the mark not just as mark, but with all the known and unknown philosophies of unknown era.

I have been thinking about people these days. Hmm... Err ... Actually quite a long time, because the best thing I can do is understand a person with all their behavior and not to mention their character. I have seen people spring in the wake of life, just getting a brilliant opportunity after an unexpected twist in the tail story. That’s it. They get the base, foundation; perfect & deep; and what else is required for a better construction. They tend to become skyscrapers, high and steady, untouched and equally distinguished with distinction.

Well for this to happen to me there is still some time. I was speaking about the life in a general sense. So what is with the present people that make me think about them rather than myself? Is it jealousy, hatred, interest, dislike, likeliness, attraction, distraction, infatutation or whatever that fits here? Why does everybody try to point out the wrongs  in others rather than looking in themselves? This is an old saying, right? I know. I was just quoting it.

Are we perfect? Are we are what we wanted to be? Did we reach our goal? Did we succeed in whatever work we do? Are we happy? Are we satisfied with what we have? Are we satisfied with what we earn and spend? Did we make our parents proud? Are we proud of ourselves for achieving something that we longed so long? Are we? Or Did we?

We are still on the way, the path, which may decide our destiny. Then why do we have to think about others and pin-point each and every mistake, keeping aside all our goals or say the aforementioned questions. We are humans, social beings not any animal or something of that sort. We think, because we can think. We think about ourselves first, draw a near conclusion about what we have to do then we think about the person next to us. We think not to achieve something or derive pleasure out of anything. Thinking and analyzing makes us perfect. We look at the faults of others, sometimes make fun of them and deep in our heart we think we should not be in such an embarrassing situation or we should do anything like that person.Or sometimes we don't even think like that!

Life gives us many chances to live. Just one life is sufficient to live all the lives. Actually we do, either knowingly or unknowingly. “Life gives us lemons, so make lemonade”; is another old saying, basically to inspire us in the wake of life or something like that!

Till now I had been talking about me and the remaining so-called people around me in a general sense. But sometimes when we think about others it leads to ourselves. Didn’t get my point? We tend to think about others and the ‘other’ about whom we are thinking, are simply inclined to think about others, preciously us. Oh! You haven’t thought in such a direction. Better try it, and sometimes it teaches to understand people more effectively.  "What goes around comes around".  I can simply tell what the fellow besides me is thinking, because if he is observing me since a past few months, I had been observing him since the same period he did. I find different multitude of opinions about me, varying from person to person. I can actually quote what a person thinks about me, like I do for others. Or at least may be give a try. I may not be hundred percent correct, but I sure can guess.

Some people inspire others and some criticize others. The other being one, it may be you or me or any other person. But when someone is successful or say succeeding in his attempts; and more over he happens to be your friend or if he is not, even then; there is a thin air of attraction. We tend to observe their every move, learn their daily procedure and sometimes try to follow their ideologies. To get to know what others are thinking we don't have to look in their eyes, sometimes may be look at the heart. I agree with the notion "Eyes never lie" and I feel so do does the heart too. 

Jealousy!? It’s a convict. Sometimes we feel jealous about people, either it is due to their character, or what he/she has, and so so things. I could not see fire, but something was burning. I couldn't make it out until I saw the eyes. The eyes were red like blood, but they soon turned back to normal. I was about to ask “What was the problem?” but my inner conscience held me back from asking. And there I left thinking. What was the matter with him? He was fine a second ago, turned red the next moment. Sounding like peaches, the person walks with me, beside me making a plot. A plot? I wondered. Was that jealousy? I asked myself. But left it when I didn't had any response. There are ways of overcoming jealousy and the best way is to beat it in the same way that makes you jealous.

Attraction!?  Attraction is a boon. People get attracted to things like gadgets, some to people, et cetera. The attraction comes from heart, so no one can probably estimate it forehand, and derive dire consequences. When it comes to gadgets, we become obsessed, like our cell phone. Now I am quite sure, no one would even step out of their home without a phone in their hands. About people, the attraction sure exists and mainly on the opposite sex. 

Artificiality!? The objects are artificial, so are some people. The people tend to move so closely, following every track of whatever we do and in the end; we get a big blow, which is something out of out competence. But all that is not quite well with me. The eyes can never lie, even if he words that they shatter around to the others. The difference lies in identifying the prime factor. We consider them as our inmates sitting beside you and just being mendacious.

Egoists!? Egoists are the same as the ‘Jealousy’ type people. So similar is the so called mentality. They remain silent, yet very powerful in their thoughts and wait for the right moment. The moment for which we also would be waiting, but ultimately they would plunge just in front of you, get what they want and downsizing you.

Self-Obsession!?  Who doesn't like oneself? As far as I know everybody do like themselves. I am not talking about a little mentally-retarded people, especially like me; but in a general sense. What not the people do so as to make themselves presentable? Please don’t ask me. Mine is a different story. I have seen people of truly different kind. Self fascinating or obsessed with oneself. What do they strive to be so obsessed with themselves? They strive for the so called success. When the topic is about success, why do you talk or think non-sense in front of them. They won’t just give a damn look at you. So, are they totally self dependent and self taught? Unfortunately not. They aren't so well versed with this thing. They steal your thoughts coming like a shadow at night. Is it from just one person that they steal? Fortunately for them, the people around them are very kind enough to serve them when they need. But is it the case when someone needs a help back? Sadly, as told earlier they are ‘Self-Obsessed’. They won’t tell a thing, because there then they would be break the rules of being self-obsessed by letting the other person share the victory. Two persons docked in a single position-Truly impossible. So at last you are dumped, no matter how good you are. Because sometimes bad wins over good and the good has nothing just to congratulate them. So now the good need not be disheartened, because as they say ‘bad things happen for their own good’.

Oh boy, That was a lengthy post. Now, I would like to congratulate you for reading all the so-called rambling/ranting or lets just say it  and the cat out of the bag - ‘NON-SENSE’ . Well, Have a great day ahead, as if you haven't spoiled it already!

iDoNothing.

Day 6, Monday

If you couldn't answer with your job, 

how would you answer the question, 'what do you do'?

____________________________

My first reaction on seeing the topic was a big laugh. Even I was asked about my job, I wouldn't prefer saying about that. It is not something like a Google or Microsoft job to brag about. So, anyway, the question : 'What do I do?' I do a lot of things to start with. I sometimes do trekking, jumping, sleeping, umm.. drink, talk, umm..er.. Nike, iPhone, Mercedes..umm.. Wait! 'Sorry, what was the question again?' . Yeah, 'What do I do?'. 

1. Waste :  I waste time, like a lot. You have no idea. Though my to-do list(s) is torn a hundred times and remade after every five minutes. And by the time I settle with one thing, there is no time left. Another day comes and the process repeats.

2. Click : Though I haven't been regular at this, but this is what I do, kind of. Okay. Please let the boy brag about something nice, for once. I have just written about my passion  in the previous post and this is one of it. This time bound job is sucking all the time leaving me with no time to pursue anything that I like.

3. Write : This is no surprise, right? As you reading this, I was just typing the words. As simple as that, innit? And usually, I am a very lazy person. Believe me, I am. But these challenges make me write something or the other. Now, if you are reading this, you might as well know that how lame of a post this is. No. The topic is great. It is me, all me writing this and not putting my best foot forward. 

4. Spend : Oh, yeah. Give a million bucks and an hour or may be less. And you wouldn't find a single penny left with me. You don't believe me, do you? Well, lets give it a try. So, you ready with the million bucks? 

5. Lie : This might come as a surprise, but sometimes I am bound to lie. Not that I like doing that, but sometimes the situation demands it and also white lies aren't harmful, I guess. 

Oh wait! The topic wasn't about confessing about yourself right? Then why are you? Dude, you gotto understand the topic before you jump and keep babbling about it at length. 
So, I think I should stop here. Enough confessing for one day, I guess. 

What matters?

Passion. Compassion. Enthusiasm. Patience. Zeal. Here goes the list of doing something whole-heartily. Why is that we are driven by our dreams, a small dream which is planted in our young mind and we water it almost everyday for its fruits. The fruits of success which we had been longing since inception. And the fruits, aah, they are pretty sweet. Because, the fruits aren't artificial. They are real. They were not born or the trees didn't bear them just like that. They impersonated the work, the lifetime work, the HARD WORK. They are sweet, nothing artificial and nothing that we have to look back to point the defects. They are carved out of one's perfection and the never ending zeal and enthusiasm. Why would they won't be sweet when you had been with it the whole time waiting endlessly to see it evolve into what you had dreamed of long back? That's why PASSION matters.

We live in a world where we can define WHAT, WHEN, HOW, WHERE, WHY. 

"We can think and decide what to do when; how to do what & where; and why  to do what". 

I apologize. This might drive you nuts or consider me, but read it again carefully. You might understand. Any way, it was nonsense. Right? All I wanted to tell was that sometimes Passion drives us crazy. Doesn't it? No? Okay, I won't disappoint you. That was my opinion. I am here writing some non-sense, real-serious non-sense. It's more like, writing is my passion. Don't get me wrong. I am not a good writer after all. I know it and probably you might also be knowing it. It is more like my hobby. Let me get this clear. I find the pleasure in writing, though I accept the fact of all the non-sense facts and the rubbish theories which I tend to explain. The explanation has no end, but I keep on blabbering even when no one's there to take up my meticulous theories. But what is more non-sense than wasting time idly than writing something that crosses my mind. 

Everything that comes to the mind is artificial, artificial thoughts, artificial ideas, artificial theories. We need to channel the artificiality of the numerous thoughts and ideas and transform them into living entities. I mean we should transform them in such a way that the writings have 'life'. The life replicating the original essence of the prime inception. It's an art. The art of transforming the so called human thoughts into living thoughts and make the people understand and feel the real sense of the writings and the topic we choose to explain. But I don't have that art. This so-called art which I had just mentioned isn't so easy to achieve, or atleast for me. How does it feel when the whole world falls on you? It's too heavy, isn't it? I was talking about the thoughts. How does it feel when all the worldly thoughts just sprung onto your mind. I guess it would still be heavy, right? The over-burdened thoughts are to be laid to rest by creating a way where they could live happily in the form of writings. Sometimes, it's too difficult to catch up with the thoughts. We need to pick the best and forget the rest. Sometimes we forget. Similar is the case with me. I also get all sorts of ideas or say thoughts and when I sit to implement them I tend to forget. Even when the mind is at peace, it becomes too difficult to remember what I had thought earlier. But our peace in the mind never ever disappoints us. We get much better and much more adventurous thought revolutionizing the atmosphere in the peaceful mind. I sit down and pen those thoughts here, in my blog. And I find blogging as a passion. A statistical tool to channelize the ideas and thoughts into a meaningful and revolutionized writings. So in the way to achieve the so called goal, I end up making blunders.  Well, I am not holding anything back. So, this one is also a result of it. So what do you think about my posts. Excellent, Superb? Or Weird? Okay, you don't want to disappoint me and probably choose the first option. But unfortunately, I know about it. 

There are millions of people writing some on Blogger, Word Press, et cetera. Some write about topics related to education, business, technology, et cetera and personal. I actually belong to the last mentioned. I write  not because "I have to write" but "I want to write" and let the endless thoughts enjoy the freedom and share it with others. But there should be someone to share and probably to read all the thing that I write. Many expect a large number of followers to follow their writings/ blogs. And probably one would achieve that if at all the matter he writes makes sense and is good and yeah, not like mine. I kept on writing and didn't care about the others to read. Slowly, some got interested and some did not. In one of my summer vacation, I succeeded in motivating a person to write and who really took interest in writing. I felt happy as I succeeded in motivating a person in writing what they felt and let the others know the true sense. 

So, what was I talking about? PASSION. I went off the page. So, this is my passion. So you people also keep up your passion and strive for it. And the new thing on the block is photography. Though it seems easy, but believe me, it isn't. I feel like I'm not even an amateur when I came to know that there is so much besides pressing the shutter button. Well, I'll leave you guys to ponder now. 

So, what matters ? Passion does, right ? 

A Little Inspiration.

Day 5, Sunday

Publicly profess your love and devotion for one of your blogger friends. 

What makes them great? Why do you love them? 

If you don't have blogger friends, talk about a real-life friend or even a family member.

__________________________

This is an interesting topic. It is more like the truth-and-dare game and its my turn and I am forced to tell the truth. And I am too bad at confessing. That too openly and about a blogger. If it were someone else, my dear readers won't have a clue about who that person is but not the only people here are bloggers and picking up one is just too difficult. Isn't it so. Now the question at hand, Who? , What? and Why?

So, I am not just picking one. I would be telling about every blogger whom I admire. And yeah, the reason will be stated as well. 

Dear SK, 

This blogger is the amazing writer I have ever met. Though I didn't see much activity on his blog for over 3 years(nearly), I still admire his writings. He then started writing on Facebook and believe me when I say they are beautiful, they indeed are the mind-blowing writings I had ever seen until he went off the grid. No Facebook. No Blogging. For over two years nearly, I haven't seen a post/write up/ anything. And you may ask why do I still admire even after 3 years of staying in the dark. The reason is the very reason I am writing this post. With a little (little is a too petty of a word here, hmm) inspiration from his writings, I started my journey into this amazing world of writing. Though, I am not good at this even after nearly four years of blogging and not eve close to the benchmark I set for myself, this blogger is truly and undoubtedly my inspiration.

Dear IQ, 

You know, I know and probably the whole world knows how amazing of a blogger/writer you are. The abstractness in your posts is totally awesome. I sometimes envy you and keep thinking, How the hell do you write so fantastically ? Though, it seems you have been busy or bored with my blog (nothing new there) I am a constant stalker to your blog. #NoKidding

Dear Keirthana, 

This person is new to my blog-space and the same goes the other way too. She is a constant visitor instead of my repeated telling that one day she might lose her mind reading my blog (I think I have told her, if not then I just did). And though she claims to be new and learning, the writings say something entirely else as if written by a prolific writer. You got a stalker too ma'am. :P

Hmm, on second, no, more like tenth thought, I figured out that almost everybody fits here. So, I think its better to stop here. I know though the topic says only one, but one is a little too small number. So, what I will be doing is breaking the already broken rule(by me only) and mention all the amazing bloggers out there. 

1. Green Speck   2. Srishti   3. Kiara   4. Maggie   5. Sivakarthik  6. Suresh   7. Me   8. Pragya   9. Kriti   10. Bushra   11. Anisha   12. Ruhie   13. Udita  14. Blue   15. PeeVee 

Oh boy, I thought this was easy. Just figured out, adding a hundred names and linking them is no child's play. One might even say I am insane and dart out a question that how I can be devoted to all these bloggers. Well, I admire each and everyone and their blog and of course their writing. And the reason why I feel that way is because every person has an unique way of writing and expressing their thoughts or ideas and that fascinates me. If you compare with my blog, my blog would be more like a plain text. But these bloggers writing have a tinge of the emotion that they have in mind and that is so damn perfectly expressed. That! I just love that kind of writing. So, now do I have to say I love all these bloggers? Well, I do love their writing and so yeah, I could say that. 

Well, I should be leaving now before I am bombarded with rejections/shoes/heels/tomatoes/eggs/whatnot. 

A Wasted Yesterday.

Day 4, Saturday 

 Favorite quote (from a person, from a book, etc).

 And why you love it.

____________________________

When I first saw the topic. I felt this is the easiest of all. And then started thinking and processing in my mind filtering the best. And then I realized each one I know are better than the other and I just couldn't land on a solid ground, Yeah. This one is perfect. Well, to start with my computer, iPod and Phone are filled with thousands of illustrative quotes. And I choose them in a way that I liked each and every one of it. So, what I thought for today is that I will post something that I wrote. No. These aren't the best. Come on, its me, how can I ever make something inspiring quotes? I don't really know what triggered these thoughts back in that day. But this is he best I came up with, ever.

So here they are 

And this is the last, enough with my bragging. 

Well, I can explain the last one. Te previous two are self-explanatory, right? So, this one came to my mind after I wasted the whole day, or day(s) doing particularly nothing. When I say nothing, it means nothing but includes looking at the ceiling or the rotating fan listening to the songs but not really listening. I spent a couple of days like that and one day I woke up and this struck me. I patted my back; no, not for wasting the time doing nothing and letting go off a precious day to waste, but to have come up with that short line. I really don't know whether someone already has said this or not, but believe me it is my very own. According to me it means, if we waste today, then it becomes a wasted yesterday to which we look back and repent on not doing anything. Not just this, I could come up with many meanings. But I will leave you people with this one and probably you people can come up with much better explanation/meaning, if any. 

In wrong shoes.

Day 3, Friday : Things that make you uncomfortable.

____________________

When I first read the topic, so many thoughts came flooded in my mind. I figured out there were many than I had imagined. And I an finding it difficult to just sort out the mess that these thoughts have made in my mind. My mind always deceives me into believing into something untruly natural but a disguise in reality.

1. The Stage : There have been many times when I saw the stage as the death trap. Seriously. Whenever I am supposed to be on the stage, the hour before that I make plans in my mind about the same. And these plans turn our to be the best. Until I wake up from day-dreaming and the person besides me tells that its my turn and have to take the stage. My hands freeze, my throat becomes dry, I look at the ceiling or something away from fixed eyes and I stammer at every single word. That pretty much sums up to the most awkward presentation by me.

2. The Newbies : People who don't know me or whom I have just met. Sometimes, it often happens that these new people are very talented, knowledgeable and highly sophisticated people. These have the thinking level far above mine. So, when they talk and keep on talking about one topic, then another and then another I just stare at them nodding and smiling occasionally in agreement to what they are saying without understanding a single thing. All the time I lose track of what they are saying and then I don't know whether to look at them or just some random moving object at the back. And more over I am in a awkward situation when they ask me about my opinion. 

3. The Girls : With my past experiences, these group of people make me the most uncomfortable. Like I said earlier, my mind plays tricks with me. The scene inside my mind is so damn perfect and the execution of the same, not so nice. It was then I decided not to bother myself much about them. Now you know the reason. And the problem still persists. 

4. Loathers : The self centered egoist maniacs. That's what I call them. Actually, to start with I am not much bothered about them. I don't really care. But they happen to be in my way, walking besides me, and doing what they usually do, which is babble about themselves. I being a nice guy control myself, or else they might be in the hospital and myself, I guess you know. 

5. The Questionnaire : The viva-voce is undoubtedly on the top of list that make me uncomfortable. I skim through all the questions, all the topics, almost everything if I am interested in that subject; or else I don't even give a peek. Finally after an all-night-er, I end up satisfied with my preparation and rather too confident. Then it happens which I have no idea. I don't get a single thing to my mind and I am in the middle of the most uncomfortable situation having no idea where to look, at them or the ground. Not only that, when I know something about other people through other sources and in the conversation it slowly starts coming out, and they keep asking more about it and I have no idea whether to tell or just keep ignoring it.

________________________________

And a lot are coming to mind. I will stop ranting here. I think this should be enough about me for one day. The coming days have much more difficult topics and involve revealing more about myself. Phew! I hope people don't start hating me for that. 

#TheMeChronicles   #RevealingMyself

Empty Slate.

Day 2 :  Educate us on something you know a lot about or are good at. 

Take any approach you'd like (serious and educational or funny and sarcastic)

______________________________

Hmph. I looked at this topic for over half an hour and still am not able to figure out what I am good at or at least I know a lot about. I have to confess, I even tried looking at it from different angles. Believe me when I say that, I rotated/twisted my laptop but alas, no luck. So, after breaking a table (after repeated banging my head on it) I came up with the following things : 

Blogging : First point - All of you are better bloggers and writers than me. So, what more can I teach any of you about it. Though I can tell and preach about it at length to the people who have't tasted the fruit of writing or lets say blogging. Believe me I tried that too. People seem interested at first and then the next moment they give it a pass. Dear people, you have no idea what you are missing here. Blogging is just not something you write/rant about and leave it to the world to know, it is how you express yourself, the feelings, the thoughts which are your very own and genuine and that no other human being can ever have. So, in this process you can know a little bit more about you, a little bit more about others and a little bit more about the world. Period.

Photography : So, this was the second thought. I thought, Yeah, I think this is something to go ahead with this post. And then I realized I don't know beyond the A-B-C of photography. I own a DSLR camera and don't laugh when I say I don't know half (actually more than half) of the options it has. So, what does that make me? An Amateur. So, what more can I educate with the half baked knowledge? 

Being Silent : Aha, This! I am way too good at. The other day, I went out along with five other guys for a dinner and the only thing I remember speaking was giving the order and paying the bill. Ok, I agree. I am most awkward person you might have ever met( I mean seen, hmm..er.. known? whatever!). But believe, I can be the most silent/non-talkative guy you might ever known. So how does one do that? I don't know. Just be quiet and talk when necessary, I guess. And I know it is totally impossible to just keep quiet for most of the people. Well, I was just saying. 

Well there, the think tank didn't have anything else to go forward with. So, the conclusion that I could draw from that is I know nothing more than most of you people already know. Hmph. I must learn something. May be some Martian language. 

Sometimes.

“I was at the dead end of the world and looked back. I saw the trails of the journey. I saw the unsuccessful stories, the difficulties of the life. I thought I was at the end and looked forward again, I saw something similar. Something, which I had seen long back where it all had started there. I then realized that the World id round and I was at the very beginning.”

“Was it the beginning of the end?

 OR. 

Was it the end of the beginning?”

Life is a Paradox. Sometimes we achieve what we want and sometimes we get even if we don’t want. And sometimes we don’t get what we want. And sometimes we don’t want and we don’t get anything.

Sometimes I feel someone has put a gun at point-blank range and is getting his desired work done. I reluctantly accept with the fear of being killed or say love for my pity life. And sometimes I feel to let him pull the trigger and let it all end. This was sadness in me, the depression in me. Why am I depressed? Why am I sad? What is the cause, the reason? Well, I am not bothered. Are you?

I am at the hill top and feel the peace of the height and the calm wind making me forget who I am and leaving all worries I stand there for hours. But the mind is never at ease and neither is the heavy heart. It breaks the happiness into pieces and draws upon me again the inverted U face. It searches for the ultimate fault in me and strikes me back saying, “Don’t you remember this, that?” Somewhere deep beneath the heart, I feel like jumping off the cliff but cannot. Don’t ask me why? Because I too don’t know. I pause.

I feel like shouting and let the agony, pain, distress, misery in me vanish into the sands and let them dissolve in the ocean by the stream of tears. But, there is something supernatural beholding me which forbids me in doing anything. WHY ME? Sometimes I can’t sustain the acquisitions. I can’t take anymore. Sometimes the single mistake haunts me more than the mid night ghost. Sometimes I feel, I am burned to ashes, but I am the single piece of paper un-burnt with tattered pieces of ash.

Solace, comfort, relief, peace is what I am searching for. I searched everywhere, but not the place where they are available and I don’t know where it is. I can’t think anymore. The agony has swept away me from thinking. The darkness has overwhelmed me. I am in the shadows of the daylight and darkness of the night moon.

Sometimes… sometimes… Isn't there an end to these? I could hear a voice inside me say in a faint voice yet loud enough, “ NO ”.

P.S. : This post was buried beneath the numerous posts. I have been revisiting my old posts and felt to re-share this post. 

Recap.

The story of your life in 250 words or less 

(or one paragraph... no one will be counting your words... probably)

_________________________________

There is no story a such. But life has been in a way on its own, or let us just say I haven't given much thought to it. That being said, I don't really agree to what I just said. As far as I am concerned, I am still trying to figure out the whole idea of what this life is, what it holds for me, what I should be doing to make it ...say..beautiful.

I am twenty something software engineer who recently acquired a job, which pretty much  no one likes but me; I am still confused. I am a writer as all of you know. Ok. Not a great one, some sort of mid-crisis writer, per say. To add to that, I really enjoy writing. Though, I can give a million reasons why, but then again I don't have one specific reason. I am also interested in photography, still an amateur and learning the ways.

So, my story life has some interesting aspects which include travelling a lot. Thanks to my dad's frequent transfers ever three years or so. I have been able to meet up with a lot of different people from different diversities. I got a chance to make some nice friends from different areas. All this frequent travels and moving around has not helped me in learning my native language. Though I can speak because everybody at home speaks, but I have never leaned to write or read. This is one awkward thing when I get back to my native place and people give a surprised look when I say I can't read/write my native language.

That pretty much sums it. So far, I haven't able to understand life. Nor have I been able to understand love, for I haven't had a chance of it. 

_____________________________

Ok! I admit this is the worst I have written about myself. Looks like I don't even know myself . Seriously, I couldn't write a single line. What I did was just babbling and rambling. 

iLive.

"Always remember to slow down in life; live, breathe, and learn; take a look around you whenever you have time and never forget everything and every person that has the least place within your heart"

- Anonymous

" To live is the rarest thing in the world, Most people exist, that is all."

- Oscar Fingall O'Flahertie Wills Wilde

I live in the wilderness of man’s unseen, unknown and undesirable thoughts. I live with a stupid notion of the life waiting for when will it all end. I live in the craziest of the happenings when its hard to decide what actually I am doing. I live in the critical stage of life when I could see the time pass by me and I don’t give a damn care about it.

I live with the pejorative. I live in the whole ego world. There is a strong human alibi called EGO which sometimes never leaves the skin of a man.

I live with the stupidity of the people thinking something, telling  something and doing something else. I live with a greatest desire of achieving what no one has ever achieved. I live with the thoughts of my own, clearly uncared and untamed.

I live in the humorous society which have some principles just to giggle and make the hell out of it.I live in the complete boredom of today's unbiased work and the laziness of the next moment.

I live in the generous state where team work seldom means one does the work and the others take the credit. I live in the pronominal state where the people always have to depend on others for their and every single work. I live in a seducing society where money is given much more preference than the people and their thoughts. And people would get down to the meanest things for the sake of money.

I live in a diversified state where promises are broken like the old glass and blown to ashes. And as if no promises were made and cherish their own insignificant in-adolescent behavior. 

I live in a self determined state of achieving  where reaching goal is the limit. I live in an educational society where everyone is educated but doesn't act like one. I live in the complexity of the human character where the so called protectors  are themselves corrupt .

I live in  a human grooving incapability where a word given is forgotten.I live in a ever criticizing human artificiality and duplicity. I live in the mans stubbornness of in-perplexity. I live in the human obsessed and attractive world where there is desire for everything and if not achieved leads to fatal consequences.

I live in  a harmony of good company where they respect my ideologies and I accept and respect theirs. And there is mutual understanding among each other and everyone.I live in patriarchal society where there is  male dominance and the dominance is sometimes wrongly utilized. 

I live in a state-of-unknown where people realize their calibre only after they have achieved which they never thought could achieve and when pointed by a foreigner  I live in a excellence at extremities  of human thinking where one spends money for work and the other thrives for the same money.

I live in the complexity of the future which is unknown and optimism is a path for it. But sometimes ruled by pessimism.I live in the frustrating present and the ever criticizing un-laid future thoughts. I live in the rebellion of mankind who consider themselves superiors and the rest trash.

I live in the uncertainty of tomorrow and the gruesome of the ticking clock. I live in a multitude of people where there is every liability of wrong conception. I live at the edge of everyone’s wrongly guided  misconception.I live in the odyssey of human unlikeliness spending much time in the ugliness rather than creative.

I live in the whole rational world and awkwardness of reality. I live with the irrational, unbiased, critical and revolutionized thoughts.

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P.S. :: There are too many thoughts in the beginning. Ok, this is something I wrote like 2 years back. I don't seem to get the essence of the whole post. But now it is out , it is upto you to decipher/analyze/whatever.