Random Rambling.

Disclaimer : "You really don't want to read this one".

This was not something new. I am used to it. Was I crying ? No. I wasn't. Once I used to for situations like such. Now, I am not. I want to, but I really can't. It was a dark room filled with the hotness of the frustration. Why frustration ?  Something happened the other day. And the day before that and the whole week before that and the whole previous year. It just grew bigger and bigger, bolder and bolder. But what about me? I was just staring ruthlessly at it, even helping it grow bigger and bolder. There was frustration in me and there still is. I am the cause and I should be the remedy. But how? I tried. I summoned myself. It didn't help. It never did. I was lucky. Yeah, lucky to be unlucky. Somethings really don't change. And some people don't change either. I am not an exceptional. I am unchangeable. I disagree with the previous statement of mine. Some people can be changed and some people don't want to be changed. And some people try to change. This post isn't about change. I already wrote about it in the previous posts. 

How was this supposed to be dealt? I clearly don't have an idea about it. I feel like shouting at the top of my voice. Aaaaaaaargh. ! Seriously, I want to. I do shout, but it's silent mode shouting. So, I call it. Else, blow the heads off. I wish that was a lot simpler than it really is. Nothing is as easy as it seems. And also not easy when someone tries to tell that its easy. Its f'ing not. Whats' easier is to accept defeat and live hopelessly. But who wants to be like that. No one. Everybody faces a wall, a point when one has to stop and think the way out. Troubles are a part of life. Whats' life without troubles? Its' isnt a life to be lived. Actually what do you have to live if you do not have troubles at all. Trouble is a part of life. Just like a recipe, you need all the ingredients to make it worth. Sometimes, if the ingredients aren't in proper proportion it f'ing sucks. One needs to have all the ingredients and also in the right proportion. 

A part where sometimes the trouble rises is when we don't fit in properly. Everybody aren't like water to take the shape of the container and live with its dimensions. Thats really very difficult and sometimes impossible. The world would have been a much more better place if it was so. But unfortunately it isn't so. You can't make a solid block to shape of the container just by placing it. If you really want to fit in, you need to work in. Burn, melt, condense, whatever it takes to make it possible. The point here is to tell about hard-work. Who doesn't tell to work hard? Starting with you mom to the last person who you would see would always tell you to work hard to achieve whatever your goal is. 

Whats' my problem actually? I know that I have a problem, but does that really bother you? No, right ? Then why bother? I stopped giving a damn about it. So, telling about it is out of question. Whats' much more creepy is that I am under a kind of surveillance. I need to be alert and keep my thoughts together before I slip anything wrong. Yeah, I am holding myself back. I don't want to be a  good-boy-bad-boy dual personality person. Accept the fact that I am an idiot and if in case you are having some doubt, I will prove you wrong. Believe me in that,  I seriously will. But the unfortunate thing is that I make it a lot easier for you to believe it in the first glance itself so that I don't have to work hard later to prove it. Earlier the previous day, I had a sort of argument. Believe me, I would have kept my way quite all the time, but I am no same person anymore. I was firing back strongly. What happened was that I kinda blacked out. This doesn't mean that I fell down. I was sitting comfortably in  the sofa when the argument began. As it was going on ( lets say, it was their turn of the so-called-debate ) and were speaking their part out, everything around me went black. I knew that something was happening, but what that I really don't know. And when it was my turn, the sight was clear by then and again as they started back-firing (so I call it), I blacked out. But, this was no big deal as I ended it with a draw. :)

Why I wrote this post? I have no idea. What am I writing? No idea. Why are you reading this? I seriously don't have an answer to this question. Though I may make up some kind of explanation to the former two questions, but the third one has to figured out by yourself. Actually, I wanted to write something catchy, witty and something unusual hoping that I could attract some lot of people (Just joking) . Okay, now stop laughing. Move on with your other work.