So far-Till Now.

It is over. Almost over. This is the last day of the year. Glad, I am still here to write this post. I feel it was just yesterday that I wrote a post claiming my new resolutions and a greetings about the new year. A year has passed by then. Does it feel like the same to me? Nah. Not even a bit. Its all mixed up, crazy doodly-voodly in my mind. What was this year all about? Yeah, there were some tough days. Were there? I don't remember. Am I getting forgetful? Oh, yeah! Sure I am. There were really crazy turn of events lately this year. Some gave me a fine solid blow. Do you want to know ? Well, I am all yours today. I will tell anything you ask. All that you have to do is ask. (I am laughing inside, hehe, because at the end of the day, No questions will be asked, I guess may be no one reads). Well, Whatever!

The first hit was a JOB. Oh, yeah! The job in the mighty TCS. Seriously, I didn't expect it, even a fraction of the minutest possible chance. Lets say for the sake of readers, I was lucky enough to get it. :) .  While the events which led to the possible conclusion of me ending into a job is quite obselete as I have already told in my previous post. Nevertheless the unseen has been seen. No-Can-Help over there. 

The second was self-immoralization. Yeah. I am quite bit of order right now. Once I used to keep track of things I used to to, now I am losing that track. And also, I used to remember what I used to do and at what time(not precisely though). But now I am a total blunder. The reasons are several and probably you all don't want to know. 

I came to know a bit more about the crazy people around me. I thought all couldn't be the same. Yeah, no one can be same. All are crazy F6's in their own way. Count me, if you think I am too. But if you ask me whether I am in it, No I am not in that list. Some are intelligent, very intelligent, more intelligent than you can ever imagine, but when they act like AH's, I sure can't handle it. Seriously, grow up. There is this person, who has nearly double IQ than me, or probably more, but when he asks the silliest question, I wonder is he playing with me or he really doesn't know. Later I understand that he doesn't know, when he doesn't understand after explaining it. And the thing that I find totally amazing is that he first 'googles' it before asking. Well, sure he is increasing his IQ over here. 

And there is one more thing I never wanted to tell. But what the hell? No one gives a SugerHoneyIcedTea. So do I (from now on). In the early month of August, I got a call. When I say I got a call, it is probably from a girl & no need to get excited because I wasn't. I remember the day because that was the day, when I had the worst thirty minutes of my life. Did I tell you about it.? NO, I didn't , right? Do you want to know? "NOOOOOooooooo".  No need to be so loud, I get you. But I am a crazy insane person. So will brief about it. I had to give a powerpoint presentation of the Industrial Training which we did in the Summer Vacation. And I was like dead, because the last thing I ever wanted to do was getting in front of a crowd and give a speech or presentation or whatever. I was stage-sick. I bunked classes for completing the presentation. I thought I prepared for the presentation. The moment came when I had to finally give the PPT. Firstly, the room in which we were didn't had a good projector. So I had to un-wire it because we came to know about its condition after I made all the connections. My Bad. I was already shivering by the time. Again, I make all the connections in the projector room and start it. The four terabyte memory just went blank. Hung up, I guess. No rebooting. Nothing. A part of the mind was still in tact. So I read all the presentation slides without even looking at the faculty or the students. And the worst part is that I was the first in the class to give a presentation. My Bad.  If there were atleast one person before me, it could have given me some kind of perspective of how to deal with it. But no. So I kept on murmuring till  completed the presentation dumb-faced. I also couldn't reply to most of the questions asked by the faculty. So totally, It was a blunder and a great disaster. You can't even imagine what I had done to escape this very moment. But something deep inside me said, You can do it. And yeah! "Oh, F, I did." And that was it. I thought no more. So where was I? Yeah, the girl. Firstly I thought it was a prank that some one was playing. It sure was a prank. But this had far wide limitations. Seriously, out of coverage imitations. As this person says that she has seen me in the college. Firstly, I was a bit shocked. My friends only don't notice me when I am around them. Then she claims to know my name and even my facebook. Obviously, if anyone knows my name, it is sufficient to find my facebook and also everything else. Now, look at the connection as of how this very person came to know my number. A guy from Computer Science seems to know me. Serious bullshit. Frankly, I know only three guys from CSE and that's it. I am in contact with only one of them. God only knows how the hell did this fourth person who happens to be a Junior came to know about my number. Firstly, I don't publicize my number in the public. And secondly, I hate pranks. I was very well convinced about this that it definitely is a prank. But wanted to know how far it goes. This was a short termed. So, there is nothing much to discuss about it. The only thing that still bothers me "How in the name of God, did they get my phone number?". And if anyone wants what exactly happened, I would be happy to tell. So, please drop it in the comment section. 

And I also wanted to tell that there are some people who think I am good, and some even think I am great and awesome. Seriously, don't believe it. I am exactly the opposite. I don't know what made you think like that, but I am not whatever you think I am. So again, where was I ? I was speaking about people. Yeah, frankly speaking I am fed up of the artificiality of the people and the preposterous acting skills. Damn, they are really good actors. I did try my best to look behind the masks, but like I said they are good. Some get caught at the wrong time and some never. Hmm, err.. Like I said, I am fed up of that. 

And another exciting thing that I did this year was the Night-Ride. I wrote about it in the Midnight Rampage. I agree with you that I didn't quite write well. And speaking of that night, it was awesome. Care for another ride? Hmm, may be. Not confident about it. 

And there are so many things that happened, I think. I don't remember any of those. Didn't I mention earlier that I am losing track of myself and forgetting things. This is one of it. Like everybody say, in this year there were many ups and downs, there were many mistakes that were done and some good things also. Learning from the mistakes and moving ahead, I would like to be prosperous in the year to come. Serious LOL!! Well, So far-till now. 

Take Care. And Happy New Year, Twenty-Twelve. :)

Round the Clock - December.

I am trapped in the brain waves. Everything seems fuzzy, blurred. These days have been a kind of rough. I agree. And I am out of my mind also. Am I thinking too much? Oh, Yeah, thats' right I am thinking too much. No offense but its' one of my quality. For the past two weeks I had been sort of busy. Hmm, Busy not in the sense of studying. I was actually watching movies and English TV serials.

Twilight Saga : Breaking Dawn

Mission Impossible

Puss in Boots

Rockstar (Hindi Movie)

Rise of the Planet of Apes

The Warrior

Crazy, Stupid Love

Garden of Eden

Born to Race

The Whistleblower

Friends with Benefits

Penguin Poppers

Don2 (Hindi Movie)

Good Old Orgy

Shark Night

Veera (Telugu Movie)

Animal Kingdom

Restitution

A Perfect Teacher

Freebie

The Waiting City

White Collar. (TV Series)

House M.D. : One Season (TV Series)

And some more which I can not recollect. Almost it was my daily routine unless I am fixed with some lousy work. Why am I writing this? No Idea. Just wanted to tell, what I had been doing this whole month. What I actually wanted to do this month wasn't actually this. I wanted to start a fiction in my blog and later develop it into a novel or lets say like-wise. But I seem to be completely obsessed with these movies and frankly speaking I still have some in the pending list. 

Anonymous

Columbia

Cat Run

Punture

International Playboy

The Howling Reborn

Triangle

and after I get back to hostel I will be downloading some more. 

Why I told about all these movies which I watched was to tell something about it. I wanted to tell something more relevant to the present situation that is being happening around me. And I wanted to relate it to the movies which I actually saw. But i guess I failed in creating the link between my actual thoughts and the reality. My Bad. Like I said earlier I am trapped in the brain waves. I don't know what you understood from it, but I meant that I am not having a clear idea of what I am doing. All the movies are just wavering in front of my imaginary eyes and all I can see is nothing, literally speaking. What I mean is that I am not having a clear peace of mind for thinking. Hence this bullshit. Pardon Me. Probably, I will come up with some more exciting or atleast not so repelling posts. 

Take Care and Advance Happy New Year. :)

I will be Damned.

Ya. Hell Yeah, "I will be damned". The daily routine of mine usually involves finding myself growling about something that happened in the day about which I am not so proud of. But let me tell you, I am actually proud of everything that I do. Its' just the feeling that bothers me a lot. So, as usual I sit at the laptop start downloading something and watch a movie or a TV serial. The best part is that time flies by like anything. The worst part is that I sit ideally in front of the laptop with my headphones and don't move a muscle. When I realize that it's time to sleep, I try to complete another serial. Ya, I am obsessed with watching. And believe me, I am started having a pot-belly. Another thing is that these are just short timed. They end up in two or three days. Then I get hyper-bored again. Well, for now, I still got a season to watch. Ya, I am happy. But the thing is that I don't usually post anything while I have a season or a movie at stake. No matter what, I usually don't. Thats' why I will be damned. Thats' just half of the story and also not the real part either. The reason why I am posting this one is that I got a visitor. Yeah, a real visitor and also that wonderful person left a comment also. Is this a start? May be or may be not. But just for the heads up, it just feels good. 

But don't worry, this wont be the last post either. I am still good at writing. No, This is seriously a joke. So, an insight of the work that I will be doing probably this week. Don't worry, I am not giving the details and also this is about what I am about to write. So, that narrows it down, doesn't it? Never-mind. Some while back, a friend of mine asked me about my blog. Well, I was honored. He even asked whether anyone was reading or not. I said that I had a bit over 100 followers. 100 followers? Me ? Seriously? So I thought. Actually, it was the truth. But the fact that no one reads this is something else. Well, there is a trick for raising the followers. I played it and it did work. But the guy didn't know about this. He actually thought that those people are actually reading my blog. So, he tells about his story, something the usual stuff precisely related to what actually happens in college life and his part of the life. It was just a formal talk. Later at the end of the discussion, he says that I got a new topic for my blog. I then realize that "Yeah, I got one for a new post". 

So this little story is on the list hot-list. And adding to that some of the usual stuff that we usually encounter on the daily basis which surely has a great impact on the people. A little history of the author, just for the readers to know the real insane me. Believe me, I was insane and hell yeah, so am I now. There is a paradox when I say "Life". Amazingly it has a number of meanings. There are over hundred billion people of which lets say 10 billion people are mature enough to understand what happening with them and so when we ask them "What is Life?" you will sure get over 9 billion different answers. Don't believe me? Try it yourself? Ask those many people and let me know if I am wrong. Just kiddin'. It just crossed my mind. Frankly, I don't know why I wrote it. Better don't ask me. Like I mentioned earlier, I am Insane. So, I would like you to rest now. Take care. I got a whole season to complete. See ya'. (Yeah, I was talking to myself). 

Not Surprised!

Surprise! Surprise! Look who's back? Yeah, its me. I have been lately murmuring the inside-ness of the brilliant me. Thats' nothing new, I suppose. I do it all the time. But I have been doing too much of the over-action lately. Well, yeah, I was.

What do the dreams mean actually? Is it just the illusion of the daily self? If so, why can't I do things which I dream. "May be its' because the dreams are an illusion of imagination. And believe me, you got a pretty awkward hell of an imagination." says the voice in my head. Oh, I see. I have been very very desperate to write a fiction story. I just have a summary of it like in pieces which won't add up even half of the page. I am thinking of making it into an online novel. See, thats' what I call too much expectation. Again the voice. Nevermind it. I just had a thought of this fiction for quite some long time. What does a story require? Imagination. Thats' what I thought. Case study, ground study, research, back-research, threats, consequences, live-examples, et cetera and the list goes on. OMG. Really OMG!!! That's why I haven't been able to make it at least to the ground level. So to be that good as I dream to be, I need to do a lot of work. And I am ready for that. 

Recently, I advised a friend of mine who was supposedly having problem writing to write whatever comes to mind rather than finding a specific topic to fill the space. I was actually surprised that someone asked me that question. I was rather good at giving advices. Its' easier than following it, right? Thats' me again, lazy crazy idiot. Actually, I have never written anything useful other than picking up a topic and writing an essay on it. And the previous posts wouldn't tally with this statement. Well, I am back to the pick & describe essay writing competition. I will surely keep the fiction thing in mind and will definitely work on it. By the way, I am not that good at keeping promises. So I wont promise about that.

And lately I realized, it just needs just a person to figure out whats' happening and it is like a rapid fire in the forest. It just spreads like a fire. {Technically speaking} . How many people read my blog? One in a trillion people. Okay, fine add one more. The problem is not how many people read my blog! The problem is why does those people keep saying "Did they read your blog-post?"  And one guy even says that people are talking about my blog. I am pleased to know that. So, if that post was so much appealing in the wrong sense though, I am ready to do that. Anyways, what was the surprise about? That you mentioned in the opening lines. That was nothing, just to catch your attention. So I thought. I actually wanted to write a brief history of mine, which no one probably would know unless he knows me, I mean personally. Surprise! Not Surprised. I know you won't be. 

Another Random Post.

This should be it. I was wrong. I think I was. Or may be not. But it is still my problem. It is about me, so I don't want you to brag about it more. Kindly switch to Facebook. Yeah, with Facebook, I realize that I am completely obsessed with it. No matter what, I don't have a notification and even if I do, thats kinda crappy and the Ticker keeps ticking. Well, I think its a social problem. And my problem is that I am a complete Idiot. Don't you agree? I know you do. So, I just realized that I just  be-little myself. I get that more often. I have a kind of soft feeling for others. Believe me, I did. But these days I am getting over it. I keep bragging about my writing and about people, don't I ? So, I am giving the bragging thing on the writing thing. So let me quote, "I am an awesome writer". Most of you would disagree, sorry I mean all of you and if you don't then you are lying. Anyways moving on, yeah, about people, I get quite rational. And these days I am in a mood of kicking their ass.


Recently, I made a very lame post about my batch mates. Should I be sorry about it? "Yeah" *I hear some voices(shouting)* . Well I am sorry that I am not sorry because I meant it. Yeah, I am insane. But I will be more insane. Just make sure you don't piss me off. Well, I am kind of pissed right now. So, another chicken for the sacrifice. Am I not one lonely little  big freak? Fortunately, I am. And more fortunately, I don't really care whatever the hell you think about it. So,  buckle up. And kindly note, I don't get into anybody's way. So I would expect the same. Even if you cross the line, its fine. But pissing me off, would be quite hard for me to give a shit about you. Yeah, I am starting to swear. Don't be naive and don't make me do this. This is a warning for the rest of the so-called nicest people. But it's a bit late for the others. They are already in the place-of-selfish-B# and made hard on me.  



And after reading my previously mentioned blog-post a guy said that I have some guts that he hadn't known. Well, yeah, I do have some but it is trapped inside. And whats more is that I am writing this even after knowing that my dad reads my blog-posts. Still want more? My dad is on facebook also. Well, my debate ends there.

Random

Note: This is about a friend of mine.

It always takes a person to motivate to write. Sometimes, it happens to be yourself. And sometimes, it is always an other person. And frankly speaking it is not at all easy to accept the fact that it was because of that person. Believe me, I know. I have been through similar kind of experience. So, I am kinda familiar with it. I actually don't know why I am writing this post now, but anyways moving forward. I think this began in the end of November, when my friend wanted to post something in his blog. As the great critic I am, I started bombarding the elements for a fusion. Finally I did made him write a post. If I hadn't done that, he might not have written even that. What I did was challenge him and he accepted the challenge. But he did say that more were about to come. I knew that was hard to accept it, but still I backfired him. But this wasn't as effective as the earlier one. The earlier one was so powerful that he wrote away a post at that moment itself. And then no more as I had expected. 

P.S. This is totally random. I just wanted something to boost me into writing. Anyways this did not help though. I just had an awkward conversation with a so-called friend of mine. So, I am down on energy. But don't you worry, I will come up with a mind-blowing post. Yeah, I mean it to the word. Your minds will blow off, really and seriously. So, choice is yours. :P . Anyways, have fun this weekend, Enjoy. 

Random Rambling.

Disclaimer : "You really don't want to read this one".

This was not something new. I am used to it. Was I crying ? No. I wasn't. Once I used to for situations like such. Now, I am not. I want to, but I really can't. It was a dark room filled with the hotness of the frustration. Why frustration ?  Something happened the other day. And the day before that and the whole week before that and the whole previous year. It just grew bigger and bigger, bolder and bolder. But what about me? I was just staring ruthlessly at it, even helping it grow bigger and bolder. There was frustration in me and there still is. I am the cause and I should be the remedy. But how? I tried. I summoned myself. It didn't help. It never did. I was lucky. Yeah, lucky to be unlucky. Somethings really don't change. And some people don't change either. I am not an exceptional. I am unchangeable. I disagree with the previous statement of mine. Some people can be changed and some people don't want to be changed. And some people try to change. This post isn't about change. I already wrote about it in the previous posts. 

How was this supposed to be dealt? I clearly don't have an idea about it. I feel like shouting at the top of my voice. Aaaaaaaargh. ! Seriously, I want to. I do shout, but it's silent mode shouting. So, I call it. Else, blow the heads off. I wish that was a lot simpler than it really is. Nothing is as easy as it seems. And also not easy when someone tries to tell that its easy. Its f'ing not. Whats' easier is to accept defeat and live hopelessly. But who wants to be like that. No one. Everybody faces a wall, a point when one has to stop and think the way out. Troubles are a part of life. Whats' life without troubles? Its' isnt a life to be lived. Actually what do you have to live if you do not have troubles at all. Trouble is a part of life. Just like a recipe, you need all the ingredients to make it worth. Sometimes, if the ingredients aren't in proper proportion it f'ing sucks. One needs to have all the ingredients and also in the right proportion. 

A part where sometimes the trouble rises is when we don't fit in properly. Everybody aren't like water to take the shape of the container and live with its dimensions. Thats really very difficult and sometimes impossible. The world would have been a much more better place if it was so. But unfortunately it isn't so. You can't make a solid block to shape of the container just by placing it. If you really want to fit in, you need to work in. Burn, melt, condense, whatever it takes to make it possible. The point here is to tell about hard-work. Who doesn't tell to work hard? Starting with you mom to the last person who you would see would always tell you to work hard to achieve whatever your goal is. 

Whats' my problem actually? I know that I have a problem, but does that really bother you? No, right ? Then why bother? I stopped giving a damn about it. So, telling about it is out of question. Whats' much more creepy is that I am under a kind of surveillance. I need to be alert and keep my thoughts together before I slip anything wrong. Yeah, I am holding myself back. I don't want to be a  good-boy-bad-boy dual personality person. Accept the fact that I am an idiot and if in case you are having some doubt, I will prove you wrong. Believe me in that,  I seriously will. But the unfortunate thing is that I make it a lot easier for you to believe it in the first glance itself so that I don't have to work hard later to prove it. Earlier the previous day, I had a sort of argument. Believe me, I would have kept my way quite all the time, but I am no same person anymore. I was firing back strongly. What happened was that I kinda blacked out. This doesn't mean that I fell down. I was sitting comfortably in  the sofa when the argument began. As it was going on ( lets say, it was their turn of the so-called-debate ) and were speaking their part out, everything around me went black. I knew that something was happening, but what that I really don't know. And when it was my turn, the sight was clear by then and again as they started back-firing (so I call it), I blacked out. But, this was no big deal as I ended it with a draw. :)

Why I wrote this post? I have no idea. What am I writing? No idea. Why are you reading this? I seriously don't have an answer to this question. Though I may make up some kind of explanation to the former two questions, but the third one has to figured out by yourself. Actually, I wanted to write something catchy, witty and something unusual hoping that I could attract some lot of people (Just joking) . Okay, now stop laughing. Move on with your other work.