The Sting.

To start with, I am at loss of words as I am feeling my mind ceased to work. Yesterday, I didn't post. "Why?", I asked myself. Because I had no idea about what to write on. But my drafts gets multiplied each day. I start something and leave in the middle. Why? , I ask myself again. Because there is something more interesting on TV or I have to complete that TV series which I downloaded the other day. Mingled are my thoughts as my mind finds freedom to write with the little instincts it catches. As the day dawned in the darkness, I sat in front of my laptop mustering the little thoughts to form them into some sensible and make some sense. But I failed and they went straight to the drafts. Well, so hard it is to think at this point something meaningful, I side-tracked to something easy. Easy! As in, "How was you day?", I ask myself and to the dear readers as well. For my day...

The Sting

Last night, as I am an Insomniac, I was up late. The time was around 0230 hours. I was feeling low and thought of writing something. The mind got eluded and my writing ceased to move forward. I was sick of that feeling. The feeling when I start to write and in the middle I am no where. So little bit was I frustrated, I thought of taking a walk in my house and freshen up a little bit. I wash my face when I feel excruciating pain in my leg, on the foot precisely. So I ran to my room to check what on earth is it that it pains so much. There was a bee embedded under my foot which died though. But it stung. And it pained like hell. I mean like real Hell. So, I shout at the top of my voice in Silent mode, because everyone else were sleeping and I didn't want to disturb them. It lasted for half an hour. When I thought, it is not paining as much as before, I went off to sleep. Though I had a little trouble sleeping in the beginning but I drowned to sleep in my cozy anyways. Next morning, a big swelling covered half of my foot and I clearly could't take a step. That did hurt a lot. And it still does while I walk. The worse part is I couldn't find the exact point where I got stung. Well, I did some creepy yoga moves to get to see my foot's bottom but still I couldn't. So, I ask my brother to help me with this. He couldn't find it as well. Later in the day, I go to meet up the Doc where she also couldn't find it and says it might not have been a bee sting, else the point where it stung would be clearly visible along with the swelling. But My Bad. That tiny little insertion point where it bit me with its sting wasn't quite visible. So, I get a little pain-killers for that. The rest of the day on with nursing that swollen foot of mine. And Still it isn't fine by now. My mom says Its Poison which spread through my foot. Though I don't want to hear such kind of thing while I am being attacked my pain from one side and not getting well from the other. She even adds that it must have been the nerve/vein/or whatever that carries blood on which that tiny insect might have stung. So little but too much pain. I was thinking if I were to be a spy (or undercover agent, this sounds cool though), and the enemy were to capture me somehow then I would be dead with the pain of torture. This was when my brother was trying to be a doctor and trying to get that poison out my foot. So, I clearly can never be spy in the first place. So, 

Pain, Pain go away. 

Put my foot to rest. 

Tired it is of so much Pain. 

(I didn't even get this right, Damn!)

(Do I sound too childish? )

Sting Part II

Well, this is about another insect biting me and injecting its venom into the pure body of mine polluting it with insufferable pain. So, today while I was stalking my Facebook while the red balloon seems to have left my notification area, one notification pops up in the lower left corner saying that a friend posted something my class group. So, I stalk to there. And find it is about the Posting details for the Training for Job . For a moment, I was shocked a bit and was wondering that they sent the mail rather too early. My cousin got the mail in the mid June or something near that date. So, I check my mail. I get a little impatient as my Internet had to suck its life at that precise moment. My brother was using the broadband and I was using my phone to connect to the internet. It is some other story that It has been acting like crazy for a couple of days. And today even more. So, he calls, I didn't pick it up. Remember, I was stung and the phone was in other room. So, finally the mail completed loading in the bit format and I was wondering it took all the time the world to load this time piece of information. So, Trivandrum on June 4th, my place of training for the Job which I got during Campus Selections. The stingy part is the date 4th June. Thats' too early, Man. Rather too too too too early. I had plans this Summer and the worst part (as it seems now) is that I would have been free from 3rd of June as that would be the last exam I'd be giving under the name of higher degree. And then I would have gone back to the place where I lived for seven years and very too fascinated about it. Well, My dad got transferred to the same place where I was for seven years. I had plans to meet my tenth grade friends and the best part was I moving back to the same house where I lived before. So, damn!^100 !  Seriously ? That was to happen to me only? And once I get back to that training thing, I won't be having Holidays, right? I mean the working clad has very less Holidays as compared to the students, isn't it right? So, yeah Not cool, Dear TCS (The company where I got the Job). NOT AT ALL COOL ! If I say more, I'd be spoiling this page with the curses which I promised myself to speak at all ever again.

P.S. : I thought of putting the photo of the bee that bit me/stung me, but thought it won't be so good. 

A Tiny War.

The incandescent light flickering in the limelight of my soul when solace and peace of mind are betrayed. The multitude of desires overwhelmed with compassion. The heart is just a mere object which desires endless often stimulated with little attractions. Little thoughts pestering the mind. 

There is war. War between two unlikely things. The Good and the Bad. The Brain and the Heart. People say Think with your mind and Love with your heart. The lesson so vivid and clearly consumed by the heart that it loves everything. But the mighty brain persuades to think before proceeding. But the mind fails to control this only part of the entire human system despite the warnings. 

The brain warns of the senseless consequences of the actions of the dear heart. And what crime did the heart commit except than just showing a mere love and affection. A tiny war between mind and Heart where the Heart stands out and justifies the title. When Love is in the air, the heart gets all excited while the brain is in its best to maintain its dignity. But the heart sucks it down the pit hole. It falls in love, the inevitable feeling which the brain can never understand. But then again, the brain isn't just a piece of useless thing. It still warns of the gave-pit. What greater loss can it(the brain) endure?  The little difference between 'liking' and 'loving', the brain tries to explain. Then again there is infatuation. Another deadly poisonous sting in the back of the tail. 

While the Heart desires, the mind eludes from those desires. But who is stronger? The human will is nothing in front of the heart-ly desires. The mighty brain also has to kneel before it. Baffled is the brain, when the heart flatters itself for mere gestures. Period. Amazed is the heart when it finds the relief in the little moments of bliss. All is well that starts and ends well. But perfection is a distant land to seek. For the definition of perfection changes with each episode of life. And so does the desires of the heart. Then the disparity and the pain that the heart endures is painful as the mind tries to evade such  a distress. While the mind suffers with disillusion of what's happening to the heart and knitting the broken pieces. The heart is young and attracted.  

The above picture is just what the heart needs. Well, we don't have to say anything to it. It does its work without prior consultation. When heart desires, it inflicts the mind and persuades it to think more often about the desired. The mind becomes the prey for the desires. The little game is played perfectly by both until one has a disagreement on something and the heart cries in despair which the mind is accounted to pay for. The mind suffers for the betrayed love which was so pleasing till that moment. There are sleepless nights while the mind tries to overcome the little agony of pain. The sum of the heart which the heart has to pay. Then again, the same story continues. 

P.S. : I drifted away a little bit in the ending. 

Mindless Thoughts.

The dull morning light peeking through the slight openings in the window elating the morning after-sleeps. The perky little dreams are withered as the bright light hits the lazy eyes. The innocence of the lazy eyes being laughed by the sun-beamed rays. The promise of yet another day and the enthusiasm to work it out. The time keeps running, fast enough while I mend the time according to the need.

The thoughts are broken. Ideas are scattered. There is a melodrama in the brain. The disparity and the confusion driving the little mind crazy. The lucid summer and the varying thoughts mustered. There is an insane feeling. The feeling of one losing a mind, the feeling of being locked up in the dark room. The sea is vast and the mind being a ship is set sail. The thoughts being the wind drive the ship. Thoughts being unclear, the course is unclear. The ship is lost among the confusion. The hurled thoughts has caused a cyclone. Suddenly there is calmness and the wind is silent. The sea is at peace. The ship has stopped. The thoughts have stopped. The mind is in search of the relative peace. The ship is nowhere unknown as for the thoughts are being ridiculed with the vivid situation. They need a course, a path, a guidance and a light in the darkness. 

Life is such. An aimlessly driven ship wasting the human force of mind on the quest to unknown. Dreams and the ambitions set the course. For my course is ever changing, following the path which ever may please 'n this has led to an isolated land. Lost in the unknown and desperate to know whats' to come. In times of trouble, God is the only solace one can seek and the only path one can follow. The anguish cry is unheard, the desperate pain is not felt & the loss is engulfed by self. Mind is consumed by the thoughtless desires of freedom, the freedom from pain, the suffering and whatever that causes the dilemma in the state of mind. 

Is it a game of Chess? I ask. For every move defines the state of winning and an equal chance of losing the pretty little game of Life. For every move defines the loss or gain of the little space of freedom. For every move defines the chance of being hunted down. For every move defines the glorious victory. For every move is with held by another subjective move. For every righteous move rises an equally cruel-some opposition. When it all ends there is only one winner. The game of Life is such. You may not agree with me. Or You may agree with me. Aren't we the different pieces of this little game?

Is it a Puzzle?, I ask. For every piece is needed to make it a complete set. For every piece draws a connection between the other. For every piece holds an important place in its attire. For every piece signifies us. Doesn't it lie in the hands of the player, Us ! The little decisions we take, the little difficulties we face align the pieces of the puzzle in its rightful place. And when it is all done, aren't we the one to complete our puzzle of life?

Baffled with the questions and the heated argument with self, I lay down to look upon myself in a different perspective. All I find is a hollow space. A puzzle unsolved, a game left out. What is Life? Do you know even a bit? Somewhere the voice echoes in my mind as my conscious tries to warn me of the unknown. The echoes subside in the mist of the foggy thoughts as I try to find the answers. The questions fade and I become relentless. I ask myself what am I? Just another human being trying to find a place in this society. A society where work is wealth, where patience is money and perseverance is a peace of mind. Not only that. A society where deceit is precious, fake is real and hard work is undermined. 


Oh pretty mind of mine, Let the thoughts rest in peace and let it find its own way out. Don't just baffle it with the insidious of the future yet to come. Don't cease the present with the fears of tomorrow. Now is the moment. Let it live in the present. Future is a distant world. Tomorrow is just another day ahead. Today is the moment where your actions can define the actions of tomorrow. So worry about now and not the undisclosed-unknown-ever changing future. Live the moment and let the thoughts capture the situations at hand. The Present it is then ! 




Foot-Note : Wait ! No ! No no no ! You didn't ! You did read the whole part upto here? My mind is pretty messed up, for the holidays are killing the thought-provoking neurons in my mind and all I get are these thoughts. Warning : "This is just the beginning". I was just saying to myself that now I got some decent people reading my blog and taking time to comment. And now this !?  I shall try to apprehend my mind somehow and set it straight before its too late. But don't curse me if I get a little more stupider. I can't help it sometimes ! My Bad ! :(

Help a Little.

Summer is my Lazy month where I do things all lazily(Wait a minute, I don't do anything at all). For the moment I am jobless and also nothing in hand to do. But still there are some  exams which I need to give in the name of Higher Degree. And also Summer is pretty HOT, weather-wise, don't get me wrong. I get all sweaty in a matter of a few minutes. Though the Air Conditioner is kept on for the most part of the day, but I don't like the idea of AC. It just fires up the current bill. Do I sound like a money-minded person? May be I am. But still AC is not my thing, well atleast not all the time. But sometimes, it does save lives. So much for pep talk, lets get a bit serious. 

Last month, we had a Get-Together Party. I said I would write about it, but on second thought it doesn't seem to be that much important. So, on that day each one of us was called upon the stage and told to give a little message to the rest of the group. There is one guy who told something like this. Well, I don't remember the exact words or for the matter of fact, nothing. I will just say the gist of it. "We should not only live for ourselves but for others as well. We should try to help others when they are in need. We should take care of the society and the society will take care of us is trouble" So something like that, though that was a pretty lengthy than what I wrote here. Perhaps, that was the only message, a good one indeed, that I heard on that day. To start with this person is the most helpful of the people. And he goes to an orphanage on his Birthday's and helps out the little kids over there. The quality which we see the least these days. Need I say more ? 

What caught my attention more is the Group that was created in Facebook. Its titled "MAA AMMA VODI" [In Mother's Care/] (This isn't the exact translation. I'm not that good with translations, Sorry)! Well, the description might help : 

MAA AMMA VODI is a Service Organization established(in the year 2005) in the interest of raising orphan children. The main ambition of this organization is to ensure the street children particularly orphan boys never go astray but make them good Citizens of India and to stand on their feet without becoming parasites or dependents on others, to live in the society on par, with honour and dignity without any inferiority complex. This would help to reduce child labor and increase literacy rate of the society around us. If we want to live happily, there is only one way. Construct a world which shows no difference between haves and havenots. Lets help poor and orphan children to stand a chance on their own feet, who could in-turn help other children and continues as a chain. Feel proud to be a part of this organization. You can contribute in any way you like to. You can donate books, other stationery, clothes, food, or even sponsor a child in a monthly based scheme. You can sponsor a child with just Rs.600/- per month. We provide you total performance analysis of that child during the period of your sponsorship and you can directly or indiectly interact with the child during the same period. Your contribution to the organization will be acknowledged with a receipt, which can be used for the purpose of tax exemption.

There may be many Social Services who are trying to help the orphans out. This is one among them. I really appreciate the Initiation of this awesome guy who is trying to bring about a change in the thinking process of the society. Need I say more about this guy, the words wouldn't be just sufficient. And also as this is the Regional Social Service, all the text will be in the native language which is Telugu. If there are people willing to help, I would be more than pleased to translate it to them (well, not to the exact point though, but can still try). 

The reason why I wrote this post is that I was quite inspired by the idea. And more over what great writings am I giving to the fellows readers, anyway. If you feel inspired, do help the people who need help. You don't need an organization to start helping. Just the right amount of care and sympathy can help in the laying the stepping stones for a brighter future. Please just don't sit around and pity the helpless. It always takes a little inspiration, a little Initiation. Then the world will be a better tomorrow. If at all we fail to create a better world, at least we tried to make it happen. A helping hand doesn't need to be given by someone worthy only. Any person with a helpful heart can extend a hand for the needy.

Influential Few.

A week ago, I updated my status in the Facebook page of this blog that I would bring out the wilderness in me starting with the truths about me and the thoughts I have about others that directly or indirectly affect me. So said, I was confident about telling all about me and the feelings that have been mustering me all the time. Perhaps, there is still some time to write about me. Let me start about the people who have influenced me during the four years of engineering either in a good way which helped me or them. I would very much like to tell the name(s), but I am following a code not to reveal the name(s). But if that person reads they will surely know its about them. So, I am keeping you readers at bay and if it helps just imagine or just ignore.

The Genius 

So, this guy is totally different. Different from the others in all aspects. He reads a lot of books. I bet he might have read atleast 200 times (or may be more) the books I've read so far, mostly novels, stories and so so. This guy is totally intelligent, but won't accept the fact.  He wants to know the concept which most of the students fail to understand. Most people are only interested about the marks part (... count me in.. yeah! sounds awful though.. But hey! Like I said only truths.So! ). He is the most helpful of all the guys. I still owe him some money but everytime I try to return the money he just refuses to take and I fail to submerge the money in his pocket somehow. I Shall return the next time I meet him. He would call himself Lazy. May be he is. But what ever is in his mind, I don't have a minute fraction of it.  And also he is a great motivator. If at all you read my previous posts, I mentioned something he mentioned which was quite inspiring. If you haven't read it, here it is :

What is world but a stage to show what you are. If you don't step on the stage you don't have a world. Your world ended even before it started. But you are still hanging to it by a rope. If you want you can pull yourself up or let go.. thats' your calling. It's in your hands to decide"

So, in short, I can just say that he is a total genius. So, I tell him to write a blog. He says he would but then again he says he is lazy. That's not an excuse buddy.! And I am quite confident that his writings would be far more interesting and inspiring as well. I Bet. There is a lot to tell about this guy, but words don't seem to reason with me. 

The Questionnaire

OH MY GOD! The questions this person asks are innumerable. If I could count, the easiest number I can tell is Infinity. Mostly the conversation with this person begins with "Any works for tomorrow".  I reply with a suitable answer at that moment. Then again, this person would message me in Google Chat or Facebook asking another Question whose answer is better given in Google searches. I sometimes wonder "Why Google is for?". The reason for this is the lame questions which I get. The first time this person asked me about the "Green rectangle and triangle symbols" in Google chat besides the names of the people. I didn't understand it the first time. So, when I checked it out, I was literally LOLing. It resembles that the user is using a web-cam and that he is online. And that the symbol is of a Video indicating that he could be contacted using a web cam. The symbols clearly show a video symbol. And God! help me, this person couldn't figure that out. This isn't just the only case where I had to laugh my arse off, there were many more. And this was just one hilarious incident. The reason why this person asks his friends is that "Google fails to give him a reasonable explanation". And I am wondering,"Does he know how to use Google?" Every single thing should/would be asked. May be Google doesn't have answers to the questions. I don't know whether it is just me or everyone in this person's friends' list experience the same. I have to stop here and control my laughter, because if I start quoting all the questions, It will take a lot of time. But nevertheless, this person is super genius. Thats' why I always wonder "Why he is asking me these questions? Does he already know or really he doesn't?" Or is he testing me? I still take time to answer all those questions! Don't know why, though. So, please use Google to the fullest. It does sometimes answer your questions. And the most damnable thing I have ever heard on Facebook is,"Hey, please like my comment" , "Hey, Please like my Status". Firstly, I've a nice big laugh and wonder, I would like it if I like it, Isn't it how it works? Does someone has to tell me? God, Help me and the Genius people, but help me more. (Just Kiddin')

The Egoist

The less I speak about this person, the better. I'm so pissed at this person than anybody else. He stays under my shoulder most of the time. Firstly, I never understood why he targeted me in the first place. Then I came to know he would go after the brainy people or lets say people who manage to secure good marks. And then he won't leave the rest either. He goes after them also. The reason is unknown to me. And I clearly don't care either. I lost this person's interest the moment when he planned to go out for a dinner and went off without me, when he planned to go for a morning run and didn't get up that early, when he took my notes and didn't return until I asked him to, when he deliberately snatched the chair in which I was about to sit making a scene over there. And the list goes on. And I still wonder Why I still try to help him out and make a fool of myself in front of me. Well, I am not such a cruel man to just leave people to diminish with their ego. This person would disturb me in the busiest hour and ask the silliest of the questions. Seriously? "He came knocking at my door for that?", I wonder. He could be deemed as an example of a Perfectionist, or lets just say a wannabe perfectionist. Well, atleast in his self centered mind, he is one hell of a Perfectionist. Need I say more, I would be spoiling my space here with all the crappy words and curses. But I still don't get, "Why do I still help him out?". What's it called actually ? Innocence? Stupidity ? Whatever, it is called, I seriously should stop it. 

The Player

Now, this person is totally different from others. You will find a mix of little martini in a normal coke. That much different! You with me? Whatever I say would be less for this peculiar person. Oh! By the way this person happens to be an online friend. And if you don't know about me, I don't talk much and GIRLS! phew, no way! I have told in my earlier blog-posts the reason probably some 100's of posts back and I am pretty sure no one would have read it. ThankGod! So, as I was saying this person is a very good player. Player in the sense, the things this person wants to be done gets done, obviously the other people do it and I am one among them. I sometimes feel awkward to have been played but then again there is this sweet talk which just melts away people. But me? Sorry! I am a bad-ass, a real one, indeed!. I play the little game and there is some feeling that the person would somehow learn that its' a bad habit using others to get the work done. But that chapter in this person's book is far away, I suppose or may be there is no such chapter. And if you are wondering, this is the person who lost my pendrive two weeks ago. A common courtesy of an apology would have helped, and not the online chat machine with a sad face smiley and a 'sry' tag. Seriously? That doesn't ease my mind, and I don't know about others whether it helps or not. That was the last thing, Thank God. Before that there were many such incidents, but I assumed that people learned from their mistakes. I think I was/am wrong? So you tell, "Do people really learn from their mistakes?". So, this person sends another person to return my thing when I had the minimum sense to hand it myself. I was bewildered at that only. Why is this intermediate person working out the mess of some other person? So, I tag this extraordinary person with the name Player. So, I've been played and the Player had their time enjoying & playing the pretty little games.

This is not about criticizing the people I know. Like I said earlier, when I look back at the faces, I get this image in-spite of whatever the good was done. If you're reading this hope you don't get into similar situations in the days to come. If you think I am wrong, Just ignore it and move on.

What I have learned ? 

To work more often.

Not to be an egoist and be like a ass.

Not to be a Jerk and care less about others while keeping my interests at the top. (I've learnt that a while back).

Not to ask so many questions. (My sister doesn't ask so may questions. ) (Wait a minute, I don't talk at all, so this is out of question :P ).

P.S. I started with some other intention and ended up like this. 

Dear Brain, 

Y U No follow one thing at a time? 

College-Aftermath.

I don't feel it. I don't feel the turbulence, I don't feel the anxiety, I don't feel anything. I don't feel satisfied. I don't feel completed. I don't feel sad. I don't feel happy. I feel nothing. What might be the reason? I asked myself. I didn't feel the answer as well. Well, literally I can say that I am done with my Engineering. But still I am done with it,right? Why don't I feel anything?  The Facebook status of my friends were just beyond my idea of what I should be feeling. Some are missing the others while some are tagging the BTECH  word at the end of their name. What should I be doing?  No . No. Don't look at me and serve the question back to me. No. I was thinking I should also do it. Whatsay? Ajay Kontham,X,XII,B-Tech. So far so. So what do you think? Don't tell me it sounds lame. It does?  I don't think so. Even if it does, just go with it because it is true to the fact and probably I may print my visiting cards like this only. And any additions will be added if at all I get a little lucky just like you, yeah! like you. 

So, my Engineering is over. I wanted to post a Kick-ass Post and also wanted to create a meme. Well, I am not good at meme's nor at writing a kickass post.I was just thinking. So now the question : How was my BTech Engineering Life? (Something like Self-Interview) so that I can reference it from the future when need be. By the way I wanted to tell another thing. Out of a class of 66, hmm...err... say about 1 or 0 people would remember me a decade from now, or as a matter of fact 2 years from now! I can surely bet on the decade part, but the 2 years part is little bit difficult because these guys have amazing memory power. Then what about a decade from now? No, I am not saying that their memory would deteriorate or something. Its just that they would choose not to remember. Yes! I am not a popular guy. And also, I will write about each and every guy I can remember. My friends don't know but I have a very bad memory power. I bet they would disagree with that, but 'fact' is a 'fact', right? 

So, coming to the question about the four years of explicit engineering. Let me start with the experience and the extent of knowledge I might have engulfed. I think its' a lot. And also that's a lot to take in! My dad would have studied the half of what I had studied in the whole 4 years. But still when he says "You are saying as if we didn't study Engineering" , It just pisses me off. That was well over 15 years, somewhere near 20 years may be and still compares with the present. Not good. Wait a minute, I got off the line. 


Now coming back.. My friends got a little sentimental. Some did give a speech about it in the Get-Together party. He was getting all emotional and all, and I was dumbstruck. I had a camera in my hand and I had no idea what to do when he was getting all emotional. And some of the other people also in my hostel haven't revealed it, but they are all senti from inside. Seriously, I don't feel a thing. Must be something is seriously wrong with me, right?  I second your thoughts. Well, whatever, my Engineering Life ended at the blink of an eye. Seriously! There were days when I thought when this day would come. And now I feel like it was just yesterday that I joined the Engineering and now I am leaving it. Most probably, what I am gonna miss is the BEACH. No other place has a serene beauty as this. Well, so far I haven't been to any other beaches. So, yeah! This is the best so far!

The post ended at the earlier para. This is an extension. I am writing this because, I didn't get a topic for my post. So, i googled "Person with no feelings is called?" and the results showed 'Sociopath', 'Heartless', 'Insensitive', 'Cold-Hearted' ,etc ! And now I am wondering....

'S-c-r-e-w-e-d'!

Note: The continuation of the teaser. Well, not a interesting one though.

Last week when I sunk back into my chair after the semester end exams were but still the laboratory and other things were left, I was waiting for this very moment. I just wanted this week to be over as fast as possible and hoped it to be a good end. If you remember or not, I mentioned myself as a superstitious person and indeed I am. So, my fate was such that my bad luck was too bad enough. 

Last week after the semester end exams I get my things to get the Project done and complete the report asap. I do complete it, somehow. Later this last Sunday, I manage to prepare a presentation as well. I was wondering what my project batch mates would be doing! That would be a rhetorical question. Anyways, moving ahead. My mind was messed up real bad by then. And also to add to my mental tension accumulated with mental pressure, some one lost my pen drive as well. So, lets say I was dealing with not-a-good-time kind of situation. I was like I did all the work and lets see whats' gonna happen. So, the two things which was really sick or from the beginning just happened to be more sickening of all.

Before I say anything, ROLL NO. 1 is not at all good. Seriously! NOT AT ALL. The four years of my Engineering Life I had to deal with the elements of the surprise(s) all the time. If there was a Viva-voce and I would be the first to be sacrificed. I clearly don't have any idea about what topics they might ask, on what they would stress more. I would be just helpful for the people following me as they can prepare themselves for the tangibility of the situation and act accordingly. I have no such choice. So the previous day, we had a comprehensive viva-voce where they were supposed to ask us about what we did in the whole Engineering Life and the questions about what we studied. We were allotted a Sir and I was quite sure that he would be asking us. But like I said My bad Luck was supposed to be the worst. There was another professor who was fond of killing(technically) students by his questions. And when I heard that he was the person who would be asking a certain part of the students the questions for comprehensive viva, I was a living-dead person. I froze within myself by looking/imagining the situation and got hyped up to the extremes. I was the bait-rat here. I was tested here. I was experimented. I was the bloody effing Roll No.1 . So the moment which I never waited to come finally came. I was totally screwed up. He asked and kept asking when I mentioned him my aggregate. I was a little high than my standard and so he kept the playing of one-sided-questionare while I looked blankly at him and din't even knew where to look. So, yeah, effing Screwed Up.

So, I get back over a messed up head and think about the next day. The coming day won't be promising at all, I say to myself. No. I am not an optimist. A pessimist to the core. And when situations like these favor my pessimism, its' not at all good. Nevertheless, I thought of showing the best in whatever situation it might be. I prepare not so good, but good enough to cover my ass. My batch mates were on the same page with me. The difference was I did the whole project and I made the presentation as well, but those guys seemed to know more than me. Well, lets just say they have more tactical approach than me and they prepared really very well when compared to me. So the moment comes when we just get in between and grab a place and start our presentation when the other faculty who was invigilating throws a comment on out project. Saying that this was nothing and they just copied it from the textbook. And also it contains more pages of result than the actual content. The reason for he saying all this is that he is my internal project guide. So when we were showing him the project for the last time he made the same comment. And this very person didn't even let us finish the presentation, wait a minute, didn't even start the presentation. The fastest to complete at the Project Review was ours and ours only. And after it was over, we called our project sir (incharge/guide) and we complained about what happened. He told us not to worry, but still my mind is a unstable freaking substance. So, I can't help but repent. And also my batch mates are totally awesome. What would the small courtesy of Thanks have done to them? I can't tell them anymore. And also they don't care me anymore for they are done with me as well as Engineering. 

After all this, and the total mess my mind still thinks about movies. So I went to this freakingly awesome movie.

So far the best movie this year as far as I can remember this years movie list which I saw. 

P.S. Bored? at my screw-up.?  Should have warned you in the beginning.

A Teaser.

A teaser. I am going to write about it, but now is not a good time or lets just say I am in no good mood. Reasons seen very small but still thats' how I feel right now.

SCREWED !

'Little'.

Note : This is not a poetry of any of that kind. No! I would rather call it 'Worambling' (word-rambling or lets say rambling with words).

Little did I speak, Little was I heard.

For Silence kept my company along.

Little did I see, Little was I seen.

For Darkness weaved a cocoon around.

 Little did I feel, Little was I felt.

For in despair the heart broke.

Little did I teach, Little was I taught.
For knowledge never ended in its part.

Little did I love, Little was I Loved,

For the heart played a game of Trickery. 


Little did I lose, Little was I lost.
For I walked the path of deception.


Little did I appreciate, Little was I appreciated.
For I was taken for Granted.


Little did I know, Little was I Known.

For my friend was myself alone.

- Ajay Kontham [2012]
P.S. :  By the way, I am no good at poetry or even this, I confess.(Wait a minute, you already know?) 

Time-Game.

Note : Skip down to the earlier post or wait for some time for another post. No! Not this. Another PP (Personal Post) and probably you won't gain anything but a waste of your time. 

A week more. I have been saying this for the past few days. Why ? Because then I don't have to worry by then, or so I think as of now. And then as I updated my status on Fb that I would be unleashing the wilderness of me, I shall definitely do that. But for now, I am worried sick. First reason My Project ! and the second reason the remaining lab exam. Though my friends would tell that there is nothing to worry and also might laugh as well. I actually don't post things like these probably lets' say I am superstitious, (Oh! Ya, I am). But my mind is kind of exploding in itself over and over again. The pas week wasn't good at all. Firstly someone loses my thing and don't even tell until I ask them to return. And boom! they lost it. May be its' easy for them to deal with such things. But not me! I am totally different and in most cases people won't have a clue about me. And I was like Banging my head over the wall, the table and everything that was in front of me. And the person who lost is a real serious genius about whom I will get back to you in my future posts. Oh! I sure have to mention the smartness and my bloody dumbness ! 

Time Game

A part of the project report was over by yesterday. But there were many too many mistakes which I realize obviously after I get back. So, I say to myself, *Beep* it, " Whatever is done, that's done and its final". Another part is left. I sure said one of my batch mate to do that part of the work. And I say that was pretty awesome. I had to do it all over again. Last night I started and calmed myself that its' not a big deal of a thing and I can complete it within an hour or so. Time was just past 12 last night. For Next one hour, I try to understand what was in the presentation that my batch mate made. I draw the conclusion on what needs to be changed which I came to know as the whole thing. So quirky did I get and along with me was Facebook. I try to ease my mind in the middle with it, still it didn't help, though. I got sleepy and haven't started what I intended to do. So, next thing I know I got a wake up call from my mom at around 7 in the morning. But still, I don't wake up. Next thing I know, its 9. So the time limit was set to 12 in the afternoon. I jolly-ed around for sometime with facebook, iPod(uploading photos) and looking at the wall unknowingly thinking about *void*(nothing). Well, I slowly started making the presentation. Time went past 12. "That was fast". Next time-limit was set to 3 ! I thought 3 hours. That would be more than enough. I start after lunch, gets pissed off, take a break, again get back to the work. And poof! , time was half past four ( my snack time) ! That was fast-fast (bullet-fast)! So, I set the next time limit to 6 ! I was pretty sure and determined to complete it by 6 ! But my determination was taken down and I lazily doze off trying to complete by 6. But no! My work never ends. Now, I was about to fix my time limit to 9, but then again I dropped it saying to myself that "It isn't helping me at all". I finally get to something near the completion and thats' it. "I can't do anything more !". That was a weird time game where I seldom changed the rules for my sake and still lost. And time was playing unfair as well. Its' not at all fair when seconds behave like minutes and minutes like hours.

 And now its half past twelve and I have to prepare/study for what I had done since last night for the presentation which is due tomorrow! I am pretty much out of order right now and my mind probably can't take anything. Thats' why I am posting this so that I can get over it and start the preparation. But now I feel sleepy! What happened to my Insomniac ability of mine ? 

P.S. : No, No. You didn't ! You did ? But why? I already warned in the beginning itself. Well, whatever! Sry for your time as I am for mine. Next Post then. :D

It is what it is, Life !

Note : A post which I started writing long back now completing it. Don't know what I intended to explain. Here it is. A post from the drafts. And the post-title, I know its no justification to this post. So, at your own risk, go ahead...

Where do I live? What is happening around me? The life is uncertain and is bound to changes, some are real serious changes and alterations. But life is not something which we can leave it on its own to ripe, grow old and die. We are the caretakers of our life. How we design decides how we live. Struggle, Hard work and so affiliated terms decide the charm-ness in the lives. Do we stop when we think we can't do a thing? We would rather take up a much easier job than running naked, drinking and restlessly sleeping. It is never easy, nor difficult. But, we keep up, while some give up. What's your life's worth, if I many ask, What would you reply?  

We  live at the expense of ourselves and burden ourselves with the lost love. Is life just about making money? or Studies? or Just Love? or Both? or Something else? Frankly, I have no idea about it. Its like looking at a ripe mango, until we find that its actually not when we start eating it. Its' rather a small blend in the looks appealing it as ripe. We get distressed and dejected. We have been played. Life as it sounds is short, yet a sweet memorable experience.  It depends on us and us alone. Isn't it? But sometimes, It sure does depends on others and their actions. What do we gain if we are depended on others. The fruit of their hard wok, the fruit of their sweat. Don't get me wrong, but its' very unpleasant. So, I think. But then again we are not alone in this world, are we? We need to depend on others at some point of time or the other. But it again depends. 

This very morning I had a conversation with a friend of mine. He was trying to inspire me. Oh, he did exactly well. I even told him that he should write an Inspirational Book. Friends like this guy are rare. I repeat They are rare. So he tells me, "What is world but a stage to show what you are. If you don't step on the stage you don't have a world. Your world ended even before it started. But you are still hanging to it by a rope. If you want you can pull yourself up or let go.. thats' your calling. It's in your hands to decide".  I was awestruck for a moment. He just did that! I was like in a deliberate silence while my mind thought about each word. But I replied to him as if I didn't care. So, I was saying LIFE is a blissful game of mystery. You never know what you will find at the edge of the road unless you leap, unless you take a step forward, unless you want to. 

There are people successful and people who have failed. We hear about successful people all the time. Take Bill Gates for instance, a college drop out once, now a Billionaire. A second richest man in the World. Steve jobs, Mark Zukerberg and (wait a minute, you all know these people.. So I am skipping that part). What is so different in them ? A small dream, a small step, a small initiation, a little innovation and lot of hard work. Like a tiny little spark can bun down the whole forest, just a tiny little idea would do wonders. 

A sweeter part of life it is, isn't it? What we don't see is that there are more failures than success. But who cares about the failures, when people can relate to the success of  richest, most intellectual person. The difference between failure and success is getting up. Who on this God's Green Earth hasn't failed, hasn't experienced failure? You didn't? Well, I don't know what to say to those people. They would be called Gods. For god is perfect, right ? Now, don't look at me and dart the question back to me. I don't know about that. I have always wondered why there is bad when there could be good. Didn't god create this world? Some say to maintain the balance. The needle should be at the middle, right ! Why is there two sides of a balance? Why not only one? Well, I rest my discussion there for I may lose arguing on the same. 

Yes, I was saying.. (saying what?)...'I have no idea' . hmm.. er..  Life, right ? Yeah, I remember a small video which I recently saw where Shah Rukh Khan was addressing the Yale University Students. 

Well, you can find loads of inspirational speeches over the internet. All that you need to do is Google it. So, SRK was saying the same thing which my dear friend told me. Life is like balancing on a rope and be like a funambulist. Need I say anything about the video which I assume you already watched? Moving on... .... .... .... ! C'mon, Move On.

So, I end this here. I don't see any point writing any further. If you are thinking I was writing some inspirational post, well I am sorry. I wasn't. 

P.S. : DONE ? You read the whole post? I would really appreciate your effort! Was it worth it? I mean worth your time? 

Should I Change ?

Disclaimer : A Personal Post. I say, Skip it. Also skip the words which are struck like this, just in case you come by them.

The time is 3'o clock and I am still up. Well, if you don't know about me, I am an Insomniac. And I also have a reason today for being up which will be mentioned in the later pat of this post. Unless there is an exam tomorrow, I never sleep, well most of the times. But when there is an exam the very next day, I get dizzy and my eyes start closing without any effort an hour before the strike of twelve. The next thing I know its' 8 in the morning. I say, 'm s-c-r-e-w-e-d. But today is like any other day but a little different. The phase I of examinations are over. Phase II is remaining and that takes place a week from now. Then I am completely done with exams and my Engineering as well. 

The previous day during my usual meeting with my friends at the hostel canteen for snacks after the end of the exam, a friend of mine commented on the next days' exam (todays' exam) that "Tomorrow will be the end of writing stories in the exam paper". I replied back," When did you ever do that?". I hope you get my reply. NO? Okay. For the seventh and eighth graders, it means that he never writes stories in his exam paper. He studies well and writes to the point.

So my exam was as usual in the afternoon and got over within two hours time. But I stayed for another 45 minutes doing nothing but looking out of the window. Everything was going well. I even had a very nice dinner outside. I came back to my room. So I ask my classmate to whom I had lent my 16 freaking GB Pen Drive which had photos of the recent get-together and the last working day of my college. I didn't tell about those events in my blog, right? I shall do it asap.  So, I get a reply that it was lost. I was like "wth" and "wtf" at the same time. And I just happened to open the Dairy Milk Cabdury and just started eating it when I choked on seeing the reply. Thats' not funny at all! Really not at all funny. That pen drive had the updated project report and also the awesome tag which I had been saving for years. The person also claimed to get me a new one. And also says that it wasn't her fault. I am shocked when that message popped up in the google chat. WHAT!? Not your fault ? A week more and I thought I would have nothing to do with any of my classmates except a few. Not this situation pops up. I don't know what to reply. Well, thats' what happens when people take you for granted. Seriously! This isn't the first time something like this has happened with the same person. I now know that the problem is not the person. The problem is Me and Just ME. I don't get these people at all. I try to be NICE and just NICE and this is the reward for being Nice. Well, I don't whether people change or not, I will try to. Because it is Me at the end of the Road and Just Me who would have to deal with the loss. "I like my things dearly" because they are my freaking things and I shall love it till the end for they are entirely mine. And when I lend it to some one that means that I gave a thing which I consider dearly just because they also need it for the time being. And also 'I consider other's person much more dearly' not because I like them or want them. It is just that I understand that they like their things the same way I do. So, I need to be careful and extra cautious when it comes to other's things. Why don't people understand this? 

"You know you are screwed , when you are SCREWED"!

I don't know what exactly I need to say to them. Don't they know that? Seriously, don't they ? So, Should I need to change? And stop lending things and helping others because it hurts me more than it helps others ?

And if you don't know, I can be a critic regarding the people as well and I write about them what I feel. I used to do it by keeping the names anonymously but when I get frustrated about them, I get really insane. People would also sue me, someday! But the bottom line is that I speak what I know. And I wanted to leave this habit of mine. I say, Its' not good or kind. It is just cursing and cursing all over again. And I need to stop that. But, this incident makes me ponder over my decision! So, I decide that I shall write and I shall keep them anonymously and if they know its about them they know else they don't. 

Were you asking me,"Why I am awake at this hour of the night?" . This just happens to be another reason (read excuse) for today. By the way, the time is quarter to four in the morning. 

The Art of Getting By.

The Art of Getting By. Well, Firstly its' an awesome movie. One of my new favorites. Don't worry, this post isn't about the movie. Thank God, right ? I could be the worst critic ever. Whatever! Moving on..

Life as we see, is a progressive development. We dream, make them come true and move on, live with the past and make some new marks in our life. And also Live in that. "But is it that easy?" ,I ask. Don't ask me back. I would say No, it isn't! What do you think? So, If everything were at the reach of our hands who would have thought of a difficult world. I sometimes wonder why did God ever create humans ? In his own form ? Giving him the superior post on the face of the earth. Literally, Man (here, I am referring MAN as All Human Beings) is the ruler, isn't he? Does my idle brain stop with that question? No! It searches for answers but all that it gets is more questions. Questions which remain as questions-un-answered. Why is there two sides of a coin ? Now please don't get into being literal. Of Course I know its an flat object and obviously it would have two sides. Yeah, I know that ! I am referring it as a metaphor. People often say there is Good and Bad just like the coin has two sides. The Good part is okay. I can live with that. But Why BAD? I ask. If god was the creator of all things, so does this count in that list? No, I am not being an atheist. I believe in God. I believe in what's happening. I just don't believe in Bad. Seriously, where did this 'bad' come from? When god had the time to create a man and write his whole life before he was even born, why did he just include the evil part in it? And again NO, I am not saying that all the people that are here are evil or bad. I am referring to those who aren't good and only those. Your Response : "God created Man and left him to make his own living " and "He had no idea that Adam & Eve would eat the forbidden fruit"! . Now again why ? Why did he create a fruit which contained knowledge? If he had the power to handle one's life then why didn't he stop them at that time. Please don't tell me Satan provoked them. Didn't God knew about the evil Satan in the first place? Why did he even create a soul. By the way Soul!, is this thing for real? I don't know Man. I don't know ! Oh! WAaaaiiiiT ! I am off topic. That happens a lot. Sorry! Close this tab and check your Facebook. Scroll down and scroll up, Like, Comment. Close it and take a drink, do something purposeful and off you go to sleep o study or whatever that is you do.

The Lie

I have moved a lot of places. I have seen people climbing up, falling down the small yet large road of life. They get up, never the less. They surely do. Its' in the path when some one come to you asking for help. In this case me. People see me as silent geek witting my way around calmly . Some like, some hate and some don't care. I am not bothered about the "don't care" people, because they don't really care and also they don't give a ____ about me! So I get by these people pretty easy. Because I've the same attitude. And some of those who hate are like trying to get me down. Dear Brother, You don't know yet but I have been below the whole time. It is just that you didn't realize that yet. So there is this one guy who seemed to have had my attention after the end of the first year of Engineering. Wait? I thought "How come he is after me?" . I don't know and didn't wanted to know. Time flew by and another semester passed. The whole year he used to stick around me I don't know why (Oh! I do know. I just don't want to tell). The third year as well. But something changed and I knew exactly what. But I was still the same person. But I planned to lie to him and the likes of his kind. So I plan. But when the moment comes, I don't know from where does the truth pop out. I am a good liar, you know? A very good one indeed. I helped escape myself from various situations a lot of times. But now I am no good with lies. Small little white lies are becoming difficult to tell and even if I tell I am messing it. Like I said earlier, Life is a progressive development, everybody needs help from others and it is like a pre-defined rule. But sometimes the help is undermined and thrown away. They helper is generous while 'the helped' takes advantage of the generosity. So, there it is where I need the lies to help me out. It is not that I like helping out people and mostly my fiends or acquaintances, its more like I said the help is taken for granted. How does that make anyone feel? Well, you say ? 

The Hardest Part

What could be the hardest part? For me its just saying 'NO' . Like I said, I like to help. It does gives a good feeling. But then again the world is just as it is. Some just need somebody else's help when they can't get something done themselves or want something. So, I being the less-talker and the inability to say No provokes people to ask me. When they do, If I don't want to give or help, I just can't say NO. Never knew why. I am bound by the situation and a mediocre part of my mind thinks inside itself that I say No then this person would feel bad. As I said earlier, I am glad to help. But that gladness turns into testing my sanity when it is asked over and over again. I have had a lot of such experiences. And the thing is that friends have an upper hand over this. As a friend I am supposed to. Thats' with the guys. Now coming to the opposite sex. Damn them! Seriously, I mean it. I never knew that they can be tricky. It is then you realize that you have been played. It starts with a nice-sweet talk and ends the same. Until when they get what they need. Then you are forgotten. And thats' not over yet. It again starts. And we feel elated that "Yay", I'm not forgotten, until they end up happy and we sad. I do realize that It was one nasty game and I've been badly tricked but then again I repeat the same mistake. And the reason the inability to say no. Though I am perfecting the word No these couple of days as I've changed my way of thinking to the indefinite bad. "Being GOOD is no Good, I say" Seriously, I mean it. Wait! "Being GOOD is Good for others Not to you or precisely ME". A conclusion drawn from my experiences. A good one though. But I still need perfection in that.

The Mighty

A month earlier we had an exam for a certification program. The invigilation was little less vigil. So, we decided to help each other out. We talked to each other about the places as to where we would be sitting and helping each other out. So I grab a seat when my friend comes and starts stealing the seat forcefully. He literally was snatching the plastic chair in which I was about to sit. I too fought back but he was like crazy; crazily hopping the chair trying to snatch it from me. I let it go. And that moment I thought "I call this person my friend"! I thought about what to do about this guy. This is the same guy whom I mentioned in the 'The Lie'. So, he gives me uncountable chances to deny his every request and I still can't say Bloody NO. Yeah, I know the problem is with me. Wish I were a little more BOLD and Mighty. And there are a specific group of people though they don't hang out in groups. My minds differentiates them from the rest automatically. These are the book-worms, though they never admit the fact and always get back at me. But thats' the truth that they study more and have more knowledge than me. And obviously best IQ. So, when these mighty brainy warriors need a thing, Its' a pleasure helping. 


So, all the people that I know always get by and I stay there stranded. And when I realize that I am the only person standing at the crossroads, it is rather too late to implement anything. I may never learn that art, for I am possessed with the art of 'inability to say no' on which I am still working to regain my senses before it gets worse and I fall into deep trouble. So, its an art, don't you think?


The Art of Getting By.
Ajay Kontham(2012)


P.S. : If you are wondering about why I wrote the second paragraph about god and stuff. I started the line relating to the topic but then again I got deviated to another because I wanted to write about it. I do agree with you it has no relevance to the topic.
P.S.S. : This is not about offending someone or pointing out anyone. This is how I feel about my inability when darted with a situation. 

An Award Give-away.

Well well. Here come's the 200th Post. So, I will be hosting an Awesome Blogger Award give away to some or the deserving people who I happen to be following. There are a lot of people when they are compared to me. Well, truly I am nothing. And also selecting the people is pretty difficult because each one exceeds the another and the cycle continues. 

So, I am happy to start a new blog award for the blogs I follow and dedicate it to the writers. So here are the steps that are to be followed :

• Thank and link back to the Person who awarded this Award.
• Share 7 things about yourself.
• Award to 15 newly discovered great bloggers.
• Contact these bloggers and tell them about the Award.

And One more thing. This is a "Pass on Award" and feel free to award to the great bloggers you might have newly found. And the Award : 

Now the Four Duties :

1. Thank and link back to the Person who awarded this Award ::  Well, I made an attempt to create the award. After several tries, I ended up with this. Hell of a Photoshop Work. I know its a bit cranky, hmm..er.. may be a little too much, I agree. Please bear with me. Thanks. 

2. Share 7 things about yourself : 

• Well, I am Ajay and luckily don't have any nick names; none at home nor in college. :D
• I am passionate about Photography and writing as well, but I know I kinda suck. But Photography is like another part of me. I really enjoy it.
• I can be called Insomniac. I usually sleep less. You can find my room with the light On at any part of the night. If not, then my laptop. If still not, then it is one of the blue moon days when I usually sleep. 
• I am a movie/serial-addict. Not the regional tv-serials. Heavens' No. They take the life out of me. Mostly English! If I start, it won't end. 
• I have moved to a lot of places. Well, I can say I like travelling. And also that I have experienced different kinds of people. 
• I like to be on my own, like alone kind of thing. I also enjoy the company of friends, but I am too much of a thinker which makes it hard. I travel and party alone most of the times. 
• I am very less talker. Lets' say I am self-absorbed, soft-spoken or even shy. Whatever is convenient. People do ask me a question about this and I still don't answer them.

3. Award to 15 newly discovered great bloggers :: 

So here is the list. It is not like the best to worst. All are equally good bloggers. 

Sweet Somethingz

WHATEVE iT TAKES !

~Nil.

In my words....

Roma's Rambling...

The Daily Ramblings of an Eccentric

Looking Beyond Existence

little trinkets i drop :)

Translucid Graffiti

..Capturin' Life..

*Welcome To My World*

Mirage

Purple Chronicle 

The Silence Of My Voice.

Neha's Journal

4. Contact these bloggers and tell them about the Award .

It was a hard task, but had to do.

Thanks for your patience.

And Adios. :)

P.S. : Well, I had been trying to post this since long, but work and unable to create the award made it late. And also finally 200 posts completed. :D  And I seriously don't know how to tag people to the posts. Is it just posting about in the comment box or is there any other procedure. :-/ 

Mind Tricks.

The book was open and I was looking at it. After a while I had to turn the Page. It was then I realized that the page was over and my little dreamy projection in my mind was paused. I shouted holy cr*p! I seemed to have read the whole page which took something like 30 minutes while my mind was playing its own movie, don't know where. Mid-Semester Exams are over my head and I am like this since morning, err correction Afternoon, wait a minute, its' from the Evening. So, even after my patience running out, I start the same page all over again and seriously going through the first few lines, next thing I know that the page is over. i-Frustrated! Thinking that where does my mind wander away and to where in such short span of time. When I wake up from the small dreamy lapse, I tend to forget what I had been dreaming/thinking about for the past few minutes. I keep my books aside thinking that its'(Studying) not gonna happen now. So I log on to Facebook. No notifications. In the morning, when I woke up to Facebook, I saw a red balloon over the notifications which read "135" ! "WTH" ?  Well, the previous day I updated the photos of my Last Working Day at College and hence those notifications. And now no notifications, why ? Because I had been checking the FB every fifteen minutes while these studies are drawn back. Something in my mind says that I can complete within time. I hope, I do. But time's running like there's an Apocalypse. Wrong comparison?  Well, as of now, my mind is playing, I don't know what but its acting strange. Mind Tricks, I say. And oh, yeah I will ost the group photo of my class here. What should I write more? I want to write more, but my mind is dragging away to something called emptiness and hence I may have to stop here. Why did I write this?  The very same reason. Hoping that I grab a grip on my wandering brain and get back to studies and complete for tomorrow's exams. And btw there are two exams tomorrow. Well :-/ :( ! Still nothing in my mind and the topics are also skiing their way down. Now, I have to get back and get some hold of myself and the mysteriously acting mind. So, here's the Group Photo. May be I will write about it or may be not. For now, this is it.

So, now I seriously have to get back to whats' important.

Till then.
Au Revoir.
Night.
Prendre Soin. :)

"If only someone could read my thoughts, the next thing he would be doing is speaking to himself or a wall in a loony bin".

There is a whole lot of wasteland building up in my mind. May be they are called Neurons biologically. I wish I could access my mind like a computer and delete the unnecessary things which keep striking me at the Bull's Eye. Every-time! I could have given a little insight inside my brain, but then you would have to go to the L-bin. 

There's project that I have to do. Some part is over and a part is left. And this part is eating my brains off. My team combined as a whole has to complete the report but I am like a single person doing all the stuff. Another person seems to be helping but not enough. Its' hard to ask, you know. But then again, it should be done. The problem is that they assume that they are giving their A-game, but seriously no. And there are mids coming up. I won't be so worried, but this time I am. I don't know why ! And there is the stress of higher studies. Well I am completely blasted. Photography is at a halt and also there are quite some new rules in the College hostel . I am actually pissed off right now. Today was supposed to be a chicken day. But those morons they cancelled it and made some crappy substitutes to it. Thank God, I told my parents not to eat here at hostel today. Right Decision. Yeah ! :D 

I was about to cross the 200 mark of the posts, but then came along something which made me go back to 197. hmm, don't want to explain that. Stupid and Crazy, it is. I have been busy these couple of days. No NO! Not Studies. You might be thinking of yourself. Not me. I am with busy with downloads and some serials. Oh yeah ADDICTED! Spartacus-The Mentalist-The Big Bang Theory- How I met your Mother-Nikita-Supernatural- Rome - Camelot - Suits - and the list goes on. So, 'Im busy all day 'n night as well. And this hold some three quarters of my insanity inside my brain. That image on the right is a photo with slow shutter speed. : Infinity ! Your Question : What relevance to this post ? NONE. Told ya' , My mind is messed up badly.