Rock n' Rolla.

"Rock n' Rolla" 

This word was on my mind while I was having my semester end exams. I precisely don't know where I got this word, I mean even during the busy hour of the exam-tension. I got this word and it started humming itself in the mind. And it eventually led to a dance also. Though, this was a short dance, but it energized me. And to add to this, this was a short lived humming bird. After a exam, it disappeared. 

After the exams were over; here with exams I mean the semester end exams, but I still had two more exams. Unlucky me. So I had to stay back at hostel. Staying at hostel isn't a problem for me. The problem was the Laptop. It gets a disease every time during exams. I call it "Exam-sick". Seriously, for every semester end exams, this shows up with this annoying behavior. It gets hung up, sometimes crashes down and sometimes the keyboard doesn't work. All this ultimately leads to the laptop disaster and much more complex thing that it generates is the anger in me. I get real pissed off, when such things happen. And much more when its just before the exams. 

In order to pass the time, I went to some movies. I watched four new movies during a period of 3 days. Well the first one is Rockstar movie. That was a beginning of the new Rockstar, which I call myself now. The other two movies were out of passion and the last movie was because of boredom. Yeah, Boredom. I was getting real bored staring at my partly working laptop and the 'no notifications' on my facebook. I did write some wild posts lately. And I am really proud of it. I don't really give a rats' ass about what others are thinking right now. Once i used to give precedence to others thoughts than mine. But this whole world is a ruthless inglorious and sick. Being good is just a character who would be mold to others interests, just because that person doesn't want to hurt others and obviously he's nice. FTS (mln). 

I wanted change. And I will bring change. I didn't intend to hurt others. Really. I didn't. But those people don't give a damn shit about others. Even then I was nice. And they still didn't give a shit. The level was crossed. My patience was tested. I changed. I had fantasized many times, how I would be if I had changed. And frankly speaking, I never fantasized what I think I have changed to. This is new and out of my league. I know I can't bear the atrocities and beat them. Whats' wrong in trying? When the world is busy with their "own bloody problems", what in the name of god would any one care. I don't know and I don't care. "People may get hurt". This thing maneuvered in my mind as I was writing the previous line. "Who are these people? They didn't care about mine. Why should I about theirs?"  F'em. Well, okay. I am nice; most of the times, but if someone crosses a line, I would be the worst, or lets say its' their luck and won't give a damn thing about what you / others'  think. Thats' when I call this feeling "Rock n' Rolla".  \m/ ! 

Mid-Night Rampage.

The time was half past twelve and the day was 29th September. And we haven't yet started for the destination. The destination was "Yarada" which was quite far, rather too far. And the journey as I did hear was a big bumpy as we have to pass through a hill. I actually thought it was at the hill top. The occasion was a friend's birthday. I was actually invited. Yeah, I was. Most of the times, I am not. But this time I was. There is a little history behind this. Anyways, the history remains as history. 



That day I was busy exploring the city of destiny, Visakhapatnam. I wanted pictures. I took my camera and started wandering down the beach road. I went as far as I could till the point where it ended. It was the ship harbor. I was actually inside the ship harbor wandering on my bike. Anyways I didn't know that. So I took my camera out and started the burst sequence. I took a few and while I was returning back I noticed that it was the ship harbor. By the time, I almost got out. And the rest of the road was a bit crowded and the smell of the dried fish covered the arena. I had to hold my breath until I came out of the place. Then I got a call from a friend of mine, asking me whether I was interested in coming to the party later that night. I would have actually said NO, But I didn't, because I had my  reasons. 


So, finally the hour came and I was at the meeting point. The birthday boy had already arrived by then and the time was past twelve. We had to leave right away in order to wind up quickly. So the vroom and zroom began. The empty streets were lit by the engine sound. The silence of the roads were broken. One after the another we headed towards Yarada. I was a little bit excited. Or was I? I don't clearly remember. Because if I wasn't I wouldn't have gone. Or, may be I couldn't have said no and was going under dire situations. Never-the-less I was on my bike and was speeding in the lonely National Highway-5. Usually, this is a very populated road and that the time was quite some time past twelve, it was all calm and dreamy. I passed through each signal, following the bikes ahead of me because I didn't know the way. Whatever. I was following them. After a long journey, we had to stop for a moment just to clarify the route. Well, this moment took rather long time to find the way. Again, we started and headed towards the desti. I was still thinking it was at the hill top. Because I heard people saying that we have to climb a hill and the road is not at all good and sometimes its steep also. This was for the ca actually, which I over-heard. 



Anyways, the rugged hill did arrive at last. And believe me, it was not at all good. All ruggedness and unevenness and also the curves added to it. We forced the bikes and the car through the unevenness and was going up and up. The scene of the night and the lights from the top was aesthetic and totally awesome. But the journey wasn't over yet. This was the point where I came to know that the destination is a beach and not the hill top. Now the next task was getting down the hill. And the same type of road was ahead of us. The brakes were on, but the bike wasn't stopping. That was the steepness of the hill. Finally, when we did reach the bottom of the hill, it wasn't over yet. Now what lied ahead of us was another few km's of unevenness and ruggedness. I was almost sit-sick as I had been driving for almost more than an hour by then. The road never ended, it seemed like that way. We drove and drove and finally we reached the so called "Yarada Beach".

It was pitch dark. Totally dark. Even the moon wasn't able to provide the light. That was a beach by the way. And I came to know by the sounds of the waves. I frankly didn't know who came over here through all that road and found this place. This place was supposed to be a nice beach spot. But for me it was a dark beach where nothing was visible. And the party began. Actually this was for two people. One was Abhiram whose was the birthday boy and the other was Prithvinath, whose actual birthday was a week earlier but wasn't celebrated because of the exams. So two cakes, two birthday guys and nearly twenty other people. The cake was set and so were the candles. And the party began in the darkness. 

The birthday bumps were a common thing in these kind of parties, but these people invented another thing also which was dangerous though. It was setting the pants on fire using the foam or whatever it is called. I was busy clicking in the darkness and filling the lame dullness with the flash firing. After some time, the party was over , but none was ready to move. They sat by the beach and did nothing. It was nearly past three by the time it was all over. 


After a great deal of thinking and talking and cracking lame jokes, the return journey began. I would have cursed them if we had to go the same way back. But they were saved. We took a rather good one. I wondered why they didn't take this one earlier. This was a tarred road and rather smooth. The steep was never the problem now. I actually enjoyed the ride. I don't know about Prithvi who was siting behind me. Whenever I asked, he said he was comfortable, so does everybody says. And before I forget, there was a patrol on the road this time. We actually expected one in the way up and this wasn't a surprise though. We suddenly stopped and it took some time to find a way to get away without being noticed. This was rather too difficult. It would be easy to find the engine sound in the silent streets. We went through the streets and nearly escaped the patrol. That was kinda fun actually. Then we went acing through the NH-5 , disturbing the late night silence of the streets. Rather exuding feeling. By the time we reached back, it was nearly 4 in the morning. It was still dark like mid-night.

On the contrary, I did had a amazing ride and night out with friends. But, I am not going to do it once again. 

P.S. This is totally absurd on my part. There was a lot of things that happened that night and a lot of things I wanted to tell. I cut short it too much. My apologies. 

A Rule.

This is my Playground. And there is a place for you, here, referring to the readers, to play as well. I just set up the pitch and the ground for the play. I clean the mess and sometimes I make the mess. But mind you, this is still my playground. I may keep it neat & clean or make it as nasty & disgusting as I like. Here are my rules. You may play, but the rules are still mine. Does this post seem rational? It is . What do you care? This isn't your place. Nor your party place. None. You like to stay, stay as long as you want. Party as long as you want. Read as long as you want. 

But mind you, there is a boundary. Everything that happens inside stays inside. This is the rule. No one talks about it outside this boundary. Got it. You got a comment section, fill it. Let you thoughts kill the post. 


You want to speak / tell / criticize / anything, you do it here. Nothing goes outside this region. 

This is the first rule of  TSS  is "You don't speak about this outside this boundary "! 

And the second rule is "YOU DO NOT SPEAK ABOUT THIS OUTSIDE THIS BOUNDARY" ! 



#Inspired

#FightClub


P.S. Does this look familiar. Yeah, Inspired by Fight Club. :P :D (haha) 

An Intended Change.

I have made a list of topics which I want to write. I know, I should have written then by now. But, just because I made a list, it becomes much more harder for me to write upon them. I know, its kinda funny. But, I can't help it. The best way to write is to not to select a topic. So all my upcoming posts will be changed. It will never be the same. I have been Insane. I know. My insanity shouldn't lead to a conclusion that I am totally insane. I will prove that I am insane and will also try to prove that I'm not, at the same time. So I am thinking of changing the performa of my blog. Totally. I will be including some things which I haven't seen and imagined. And these are the most common things happening in the world. Well, its a start. Don't actually know where it may lead. I would be glad if I succeeded in writing perfectly, well if not perfectly, at least fine. So, the upcoming posts will be random and totally imaginary. Though I created a blog especially for this. But what can I say, I don't actually know what to say. Well, now I get it. I will start over here and will continue over there when I think that I am faring well in my new dimension. 




I call it the advancement of Insanity. Never mind if you don't read or read. I don't really care now. I used to. I used to wait for the people to comment. I used to wait for the people to read what I had written. I am getting over it. I am no more the same guy which I used to be. Now I am feeling like I am the "ROCKSTAR" when I am writing. And hell with the people who criticize. Who told them to read? And one more thing, I am not forcing you to read any of my posts. So you would be much happy if you left it in the early phase, else you would end up with a severe head-ache. That was a head's up. Just that you know.





Hmm, this was a quick post. There will be much more. And one last thing to all this, that I am changing the topics of the upcoming posts to totally random and rather insane topics doesn't mean that I am leaving the earlier non-sensual which I had been writing for the past three year (approx) . NO. Not at all. This new venture, what I it, is just like an added bonus to the people who are trying to waste (my apologies) spend time over here. Let's see if they like the newness with the insanity of not. And don't forget there is always a comment section over here. When I am writing insane, probably I would be getting much insane comments. And yeah, I am actually ready for all those. Bring it on. 



Regards
The Writer

Self-Moralizing.

Dear Self,

Don't you think you are over-reacting and over-acting at the same time? You write, that's well and fine. Why do you have to tell in every post that you suck at writing ? You make a post entirely for that purpose, and dont mention in the remaining posts. Well, now that people know that you suck and you have made plenty of space for them to think the same. So buckle up. Don't mention about writing in the future posts. Okay? If interested, people will read. If not they won't. Just that, you write that you are not good at writing in the beginning of each post doesn't make them read or leave. Ok? Got the point ? And what the hell do you care about the people not reading your blog? Nothing, right ? You too know that people don't read your blog, so that makes it clear that you don't have anything to worry about. So, chill. Tuck it, and let the words do the disaster. What do you care? And what does anyone else care? 




Sincerely,
The Writer.

Self Moralizing.

Dear Self,

Why are you singing songs loudly in SILENT MODE? The songs you are singing need to be loud enough. They are called HARD ROCK. So, shout, enjoy the rhythm, live it. ROCK IT. 


Sincerely,
The Singer.


P.S. : The shortest post ever. :D 

Overwhelm.

Dear Self-Overwhelming People,




You really suck at giving advices. Unfortunately people like are you are everywhere. It seems like the world is filled with advisors. You may be good at something or even know some stuff, but you are not god. MIND IT.  And what with some of the people, don't they understand simple ENGLISH or sometimes Hindi. Seriously, can't help those people. You are good. GOOD FOR YOU.  I am good too, "NOT AT ALL GOOD FOR ME". Being good is just a criteria for getting the works done. You want something, you ask it immediately, not planning when how to return the favor. Seriously, you don't want to return any favors also. And If i lend something, I have to ask it back myself. You don't even minimum sense to return it? I really dont know what to call you. 

And seriously, you are good at advising. But please don't give advices to me. You are good to yourself, not me. You really suck. And one more thing. "MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS"! You wont accept facts. You live with your own dreamy-creamy shitty world of yours and pretend you know everything. I really pity. Actually, I don't.  And what is with you guys? I seriously dont get your nerve. Buckle up. Sometimes its better to keep your thought to yourself than trying to be over-smart ! And what is up with you, why do you want to comment on the status which I post. When I am MAD, I seriously don't give a sh_t what you say / think. 

Again, Mind Your Work, if its not your area / workplace. 


Sincerely,
Advised one.


#iDontNeedYourAdvices

Struggle.

Where do I start ? I kept on thinking for a long time where and how to begin. Do beginnings really matter, when... what I am about is write isn't good. But a formal writing is considered to have a good beginning to catch the readers' attention. I have been following this mantra for quite some time. Really, I did try my best. But the fact that whenever I try to create such an impression, I utterly fail. Like this one. Nevertheless, I am on the good side because no one reads. :P .

Time is an elusive thief. I read it somewhere. Its really nice and a thought provoking line. Well, atleast I consider so; or lets say I use it the most. You got me. Well I will get down to the matter right away and leave you some time for your work. But Seriously? Are you still here ? [ lol; really? Please dont be such a stubborn person. Go to facebook and check the notifications or you can even play farmville ]. Thank god, you left me alone to my thoughts. I am telling you this is some crazy sh_t I am writing; call it stupid, idiocy, weirdness. I accept all kinds of abuses. Because I am in such a mood. The reason? Well, it is kinda complicated, but isn't that hard to tell also. Hope, you would understand if you read this in entirety. [ Dude, you still here. Com'on man. Okay fine. Your wish! ].   


As the monsoon swept the dizziness of the sky and made it splendidly vibrant with all the clarity, it was a matter of time that it was about to end. The reason being inadequate and irregular rainfalls. Nevertheless, the rains are refreshing though. It is a matter of time, that it ends so quickly without even giving you the time to feel its splendid presence. Whats' next then? The winters. Winters are chilly. If you ask me whether I enjoy this season; I still dont have a valid reason for not liking it other than wearing overlays of clothes to protect us from it. The nights are totally amazing, as I wrap myself in the coziness of the blankets and sleep like a baby. But this is not what concerns me. These seasons are eventual. My concern is about Life. What the hell is this  Life? Life.. hmm, has many meanings. Define it then? Thats what I am telling. Its a definition-less entity.You may find one in an Oxford dictionary. But does that really help with what you are? So, let me ask you: Who you are? What do you want to be? What is  you ambition ? What is you goal ? What ... ? What ... ? Questions !? Too many questions and too many answers. Is life just about asking as answering?

To give a life is as difficult as taking one. We cant give life to each and everything. But we can sure destroy or preferably say take life in this context. Isn't life a life-long struggle? Yes o No ? Be honest. Keep you opinions to yourself and think about it. And I was talking about people struggling, which most people do unless you are born with a silver spoon or you have a Empirical-Ancestral background where you have never ending money ($). Well whatever, Isn't it hard to live? The life long struggle to earn, make someone you love happy and even the people loving you happy and for your own sake. That's what Life is, right? I actually dont know, hence I am asking.! Life is the pleasure in the simple things; sometimes complicated also. Its the sweetness of the struggle when ultimately when we succeed, we are at the top of the world like No one  else in the whole world. Because there was an element of extreme hard-work. Life isn't just a god's gift. Its a responsibility. Don't you think? I think it as such. But the problem is that I never felt it like my responsibility. Thats why may be I am so stubborn and too idiotic. Have you read the newspaper? I sure know, you did. But I didnt. Anyways, have you seen the successful people profile? Arent the most famous and richest person drop outs? Now, imagine a situation of a drop out student in the present time, though he has the same caliber and the imaginative ideas as them. My opinion is that he might as well succeed but as high as them. Even if he does, it will take 2 lifetimes for that. Seriously, think about it! How much long does one have to struggle for survival? Survival in the sense not only food, also including the mere luxuries. By the time one does, isnt he too old to enjoy the same? Time decides when happens when. We decide what happens when. But by the we do realize we feel suffocated, drowned in despair, heated discussions fly around, heartbroken, extreme pain of tension, and so so so so so things. Well, Isn't this the Life we are talking about? I am quoting my own line here which I already wrote in the above lines, "Isn't Life a Life-Long Struggle"? Just ask yourself. I don't want you accept it. Debate about it. Also, I am not telling you to go with the flow. Just think for a moment. Well your decision doesnt depend on what I tell, do they? So, just a wild thought about it. When life is such a tiresome struggle and probably a never ending formula, I do sometimes think, Is it necessay? Is it really worth it? Everytime I asked myself, the response which I got isn't that good to hear. What else can we do ? Just end it ? Woah, woah ! This is at extremities. But, its a nice thought though. When the mind isn't well versed with the habit of working hard, how can it possibly think out-of-box things like this. Impossible ! As I said, its a nice thought, I am adding a little more to it. Whats better : A life of lifelong struggle ? or A short life with a little struggle? Now this is at extremities. Anyways, another wild thought of the daily innumerable meaningless thoughts.


What good is a failure, if you haven't learned from it.?
What good is an idea, if you haven't thought how to apply it.?
What good is knowledge, if you don't know where to apply it.?
What good is a dream, if haven't found a way to make them true.?
What good is money, if you aren't satisfied.?
What good is an education, if you aren't using it for the greater good.?
What good is a success, if you haven't worked hard for it.?
What good is a life, if you haven't struggled for it.?

Did you take this post seriously.? You shouldn't. Because it doesn't contain anything serious. Well, this was on my mind for a long long time. Haven't got enough time to write. And moreover, this isnt the complete idea I had. Just a small part. And believe me, I cannot write the whole thing. :P . 

P.S. : Told you, This is a weird post. One of the worst. And the one in the italics at the end is a modified version of something I had collected earlier. The original one is totally different and much better than this.
  .