Innocence.

Innocent Childhood

Playful at heart

Sweet Memories

This Haiku is written for the Carpe Diem under the prompt 'Sweet Memories'. 

The IndiBlogger Meet.

I don't usually wake up early, especially on Sundays. Come on, who does ? Well, Not me. But I had to wake up anyway because the newspaper guy wanted me  to pay the monthly bill. So, I woke up and what came first to my mind the next moment- The (Original) IndiBlogger Meet. Yeah, I was excited. 

So, the Meeting was scheduled at 1330 hours. So, I had to make a time frame. I made the mental calculation with all the mathematical expressions flying around and calculating the time taking various factors like the distance I have to walk, the distance the bus has to travel and the speed, the traffic - feeling like a math-genius. All was set and the result came out that it would take me at least over two hours. So, on the safe side I added 30 minutes to it. So, I had to start at 1100 hours. And I did exactly that but 30 minutes earlier. Yeah, to be much more safer side. By the way, if you must know, I like to be punctual. The aftermath was that I reached in one and a half hour. I patted myself for the awesome calculation (Sarcastically). Well, may be thats' why I couldn't crack that CAT exam. It took me another ten minutes to find the Fortune Hotel. But I thought it would be really weird to go in around one and a half hour earlier. So, I scoured the surroundings and ended up finding nothing. No malls, no CCD (Cafe Coffee Day), no Burger joints, No Pizza Huts. It was practically a tightly packed road with flyovers and uncountable vehicles hovering around. So, for the next hour I was just roaming around & window shopping (Looking through the window) since the shops were closed. I strolled up and down and the time wasn't moving at all. Finally, I decided to go in, whatever! 

I entered and found out that the meeting was on the second floor. By then I was thirty minutes before the scheduled time. I was told to wait in the waiting area in the first floor since I was a little early. So, Punctuality is not always good. It makes us wait. Lesson learnt - Lesson Forgot. 

The HP IndiBlogger Meet

The registrations were done. Time was around 1400 hours , but people still came until 1430. And then there was the first event after a brilliant song and some awesome music- 30 seconds of fame. People were sharing about their blog and telling a little bit about themselves enacting their favorite character in books/television/movies/anything and some others sang. And Anoop Zombie who happens to be an IndiBlogger was giving away freebies for some of the good introductions while in the middle there were some free distributions such as like when someone got a book for having an exam the next day, for having less hair on the head, for having a broken wrist, for tweeting about coughing, for being scolded by their Mom, etc etc. Well, I was just sitting and wondering how to get a freebie as like most others. The first freebie that I got was a book, for having no Stripes shirt at the round table of an odd six people. The goodies were so handy to get, I mean to be given away, I felt. I was sitting there wondering how many were there? I thought there couldn't be that many to accommodate a near to 150 people, if I am not wrong. 

Then there was a seminar by the HP guy about the use of #Original products. At the start of the meet, I met up with a guy who asked me what does that hashtag saying #OriginalCopy mean? I thought,  "Isn't it obvious?" That to be Original & maintain originality. But I wasn't sure to what it was actually related to exactly. At the end of the seminar, there was something to learn and something to share, which I would be doing. 

And it was time for a High Tea. There were a lot of items and I tried almost everything, not that I was hungry. Just tasted all, and they were quite nice. Then there was this photo session and the best photo wins a HP Printer. Yeah, So, Photo? I am a little bit good at taking pictures but not at all good at getting clicked. Not a photogenic face, you see. So, I didn't opt for that, but anyway some of the guys I met walked me to it. And the photo was quite literally awkward. The other guys had no idea how to pose, neither did I, but I didn't overdo. Anyway, the photo was clicked and its on FB now uploaded by IndiBlogger.

The miming was a fun part. We, a team of 15 members were to do Harry Potter . I mean come on, its as simple as that. But we had to do something different - A Quidditch game. All was set. It was supposed to look awesome with Voldemort fighting the Harry Potter. We even made a mark on one of the guys. The stage was too small for all the 15 people to fly around on their brooms and playing the game. As I was enacting, I saw the people watching us confused. But the end when Voldemort used his wand made it much easy for the other people to guess it easily. We got second for miming and the prize - A book and a Pen Drive. Pretty cool. :)

And the meeting ended up with discussing some seven odd and random questions and the most brilliant answer which was applauded by all was for the question - "Why this Kolavari Di ?" The answer to which was given by Mr. Balasubramaniam - "After 12 years of marriage, that is the only question I can ask my wife". And that won him a HP printer. 

The Meet was simply awesome and as it was my first, it was a great experience where I met with a lot of famous bloggers and had a chance to see the faces behind the blogs that I follow. And the IndiBlogger team seriously needs a hats off for conducting such meets and organizing it so well. And I would like to go to almost every other meet that is possible without fail.

#IndiBlogger [ Indian by Birth, Blogger by Choice ]
#HP #OriginalCopy

- Ajay Kontham

Dark Nighty Sky.

Sparkling White Dots

Different Story, Each Tell

In Dark Nighty Sky

In Dark Nighty Sky

Falling Stars, An Exquisite view

Make your Wish.

This Haiku is written for Carpe Diem's Imagination .

P.S. I tried the advanced Haiku/whatever it is called. Hmm... 

The Puppets.

Source

Playing our Roles

The Puppets, that we are

A Circus of Life.

This Haiku is written for Carpe Diem under the prompt Circus.

Hug Me.

Source

Cold Winter's Blast

Freezing and Shivering, Hug Me

A Little Warmth

This Haiku is written for Carpe Diem under the prompt Cold Winter's Blast.

New Beginning.

Source

Melting Snow

Revealing Blossoming Crocus

A New Beginning

This Haiku is written for Carpe Diem under the prompt Crocus.

Wake Up.

I wake up each day to the morning beautiful sunshine but I find myself in the middle of a everything where there seems to no humanity, no peace. The last month of the previous year has been horrifying and it shook the very roots of the whole nation. Nation, you say? And the whole wide world too. The Rape of a 23 year girl has vandalized the humane nature of the people. Where does that come from? The thinking? Who is/are to be be blamed?

Darwin's theory suggests the transformation of an ape to a social animal called Human Being. But it doesn't suggest the man becoming cruel exploiting other people. Will they be called humans? Where is it written? Where is the origin of the thought, that being cruel? Does the Bible, Bagvadh Gita, Quran etc etc say anything about people becoming inhumane, forgetting human values, behaving like pigs/morons. I don't think so. But then how are these people's minds getting drowned in such cruelty?

When a Person can't tolerate a little remark on their personality/or whatever it is that we could tell about a person, the person's ego gets hurt. So, just imagine the plight of those victims who are suffering the pain caused by some ruthless people. When you are waking up each morning and enjoying the morning breakfast and getting ready for work, somewhere on the other part of the country some person is ashamed to come out of the house because she was raped/humiliated. When you sleep happily at night hoping for a better tomorrow, somewhere else some person cries to sleep hoping for a better tomorrow. Is it that we don't care about what other people are doing to this world/this society/this country? No. We care, but not that much. We care enough to talk about it. We care enough to write about it. But when it comes to doing, we don't. Because it is none of our business. Right? Unless someone in our family suffers the same horror. 

Who is to be Blamed? 

An alarming question, it is. Whom can we blame? Lets' start with the creator - GOD. God created humans, and somewhere down the road, people lost their humanity/the good nature and the result is today's world. It is so easy to just sit in front of a Laptop stroking the keys and blaming each other for the crimes and the rising inhumanity in the society. 

The Questionnaire(TQ) : What about the politicians, the leaders of the country ? 

AK (Me/My Alter Ego/Conscious) : Right! Blame them. For the heinous remarks that they gave against the recent national outrage. But let me ask you something. Who are these so called leaders? Aren't those the people who promised a better change to the society ?   Some idiot says that the dress provoked the men. Some other says its' the western influence. Some brainless maniac says Victim should have surrendered. Are you out of your mind ? Aren't those the people you elected? So ask yourself first. We Call our country the largest democracy in the world. Seriously, I am Ashamed. When we can't respect a individual for what they are, I am sorry to say but they don't deserve to be called humans and part of the society. And we call those people the leaders of the country who would transform the nation. Yeah, surely they would transform. From rags to riches making the poorer suffer. From being sane to insanity. But I don't think they could be blamed or not !

TQ : The Western Influence ? The Transforming Indian women? The Dress? 

AK : You are not being serious. The British ruled over us for over a century. And as united we overpowered them. Nothing was wrong then. Let me ask you something. What clothes do you wear? Have you ever worn a traditional Indian Dress? When you can wear a western dress , then what's wrong with women wearing one? It has nothing to do with the western influence. Look at me for instance. I am a bit influenced. So, that doesn't make me do heinous crimes. It is all the human perception of whats' good and what's bad. People have just lost their mind. And blame who ever comes in the middle. And Does our Constitution promote inequality ? Or Racism ? No, Right. Then what's wrong with women working? What's wrong with women working late? Come on people, Grow up. Is it that hard to respect a women? Is it that hard to shut up your mouth rather than  promoting vague ideas and insulting remarks on the opposite gender.

TQ  : The Media? 

AK : Now there is this media. With its Tehalka and other sting operations, it has to spread the news as fast as they can. For TRP ratings, of course. For money, of course. But can media be blamed? I don't know. Every morning I wake up to find some more rape cases in the other parts of the country. Media is doing its part. But most of the times it gets out of hand. It exaggerates everything way too much without thinking the feelings of the other people. Journalist, they say have to be bold and should ask straight-forward questions which no matter personal or not, Media doesn't care. "I just want answers!" and if some one refuses to say, they take it in the whole other way and just exploit the very roots. Its good or Bad? I don't know. I can't say. It is for each one of to answer for ourselves. 

TQ : The Police ? 

AK : Police is just another scapegoat. No! Not a scapegoat. It is somewhat responsible. I myself find over alert when I see a Policeman. I don't know. But even though, I haven't done anything, but still I do. But does this Police take care of us? HELL NO. Does it exploit us in every possible way it can? Hell Yeah. Policeman fighting over jurisdiction, the corrupt money changing hands below the tables. What is this ? The Star of our Nation. The Protectors of the Country. And we respect them. There are soldiers dying protecting the country and these policemen feel the same but what do they do - Thinking that they Protect the nation by corrupting and literally doing nothing. Are they to be blamed? Yeah, I think to most extent. But that's not all.

TQ : The Society ? The People ? The Culprits ? 

AK : The Culprits of course. As I mentioned earlier that I have to wake up to the morning to more rape cases. I mean Come on! The whole nation is outraged and protesting against the very cause and in some other part of the country , wait in Delhi as well, the cases never cease to decrease. Each day, I find myself pained with at least 3-4 minimum cases. What the Hell is wrong with these people? As I write this, I feel totally ashamed due to the helplessness and inability to do anything to stop. But those people, those culprits - "Do you even think ?", I ask. That is a 4 year old girl for God's sake; and even less. She doesn't even know how to speak. How could you ? Are you even Human ? And that is your daughter for heaven's sake. What are you? Is it that hard to respect an Individual ? Is it that hard to be HUMAN ? 

Why do they keep on doing that instead of so many protests, so many reforms, so many steps taken. Is it this society ? The court, which takes eternity to solve a simple case ? The police who are negligent enough to care the least. What is wrong with these people? 

TQ : You ? Us ? Me ? 

AK : I am afraid but have to agree with that. Yes. I am to be blamed. I am a part of the society. I vote for the people to rule over me. Practically, I/we am/are to blame. What am I doing? I am writing pages and pages of posts regarding the incident like most other people sitting at the liberty of my room. And that's it. What am I contributing to the nation? What good am I doing blabbering what the Media has already exploited to its roots. Where do I stand in this society? What am I?  And this thinking makes me sad and I feel ashamed about it. 

The society has changed the normal thinking of an individual. The people have changed, some got even more cruel. I wish there was a specific person to be blamed but, then we all are those specific people. I, We, and everybody is to blame. Just not a single entity, but we as a whole. But this has to change. We, being united can achieve anything. We, as one can break barriers. We are the largest democracy in the world. Lets just Wake up to Reality and GROW up, as a Nation Fighting for all the causes which hinders the normal person's life. Whatever the evil the man has created for himself, lets just kill it, destroy it before it lays any more eggs. Change is what we need and I am afraid to say, it has to be done from Scratch. So, lets put our hands together for a better cause, for a better tomorrow, for a peaceful nation, where fear has no meaning, where women are free and not afraid, where we prosper as a nation as one. 

P.S. I have tried my best not to use slang(s) but if you find them, my apologies and please ignore.

Disclaimer: And this is totally my opinion and anyone referred is purely unintentional.  

This post is part of the contest Who is to be blamed? on WriteUpCafe.com

Phoenix.

Source

Symbolizing Hope

From Beneath the Ember

Rising Phoenix.

This Haiku is written for Carpe Diem under the prompt Ember.

Lost & Drowned.

Source

Lost and Drowned

Tapping thy Feet, Forgetting

Melancholy to the Blues.

This Haiku is written for Carpe Diem under the prompt Blues.

Masked Faces

Source

Masked Faces, 

Hiding Naked Truth

Deceiving Friends.

This Haiku is written for One Single Impression under the prompt Naked.

P.S. We can write Haiku, right?

Helpless Soul.

Source

Selfish People

Ignoring Helpless Soul

Humanity's Death!!

This is written for Haiku Heights under the Prompt Death. 

Mystical Beauty.

Source

Mystical Beauty

The Depths of the Cave

Seeking Adventure!

This Haiku is written for Carpe Diem under the prompt Cave.

And ... Then it Stopped!

And then it stopped. There and then. 

I woke up this morning, and no, not with a full of promise. I had to do a crazy thing - Take Shower in COLD WATER. Can you imagine that? On a winter morning? Yeah, That was insane of me to do. But anyway, I did. Like I did for the past three days. But today was much early. Well, anyway that was over and I was in my crazy outfit. And told my roommate that I was going to the office. But, I was going to a movie. Don't actually know why I had to do that. Well, in this part of India, People are Die-Hard Fans of some Actors. I mean Really Die Hard Fans. Any thing said in the minutest possible word or letter as a matter of fact against them, they will come to beat the shit out of you. So, may be, that could be the reason.

So I was watching a movie when I find myself busy with the mobile and iPod when I receive a call/text message regarding the meeting at office. Holy Cow! I was in the middle of the movie. But that wasn't a big deal, it never was till now. They call to come to office and when I go, I come back with a message to meet them tomorrow. Well, thats'  what they call the #LifeOfAPersonOnBench. Hmm..er... So, I am guessing you people know what Bench actually means right? NO? If so, Bench is a place where people sit. I was kidding.  It is the group of people who haven't been given any project/ awaiting project. So, It has been like seven months and after three months of rigorous training in which I didn't learn anything, I am Presently "Jobless with a JOB". So, anyway I am here - doing literally Nothing. They do that all the time- Call to tell that there is some really important meeting, but that turns out to be... well, it doesn't turn out about anything. We come back and the routine continues. So, I wasn't that scared when a friend of mine called to tell me that. Anyways, The Movie was nice and awesome. And then I went back to the office where I found out the usual stuff. "You will get a mail soon". Something, they always tell. 

So, I was coming back to my room. And I was getting down the Bus and a scooter comes through me from somewhere-I-don't-even-know and I was hit almost. And the result - I almost got my headphones spoiled. And it did and I ended up angry. I was talking to myself and playing that scene again and again in my mind cursing all the way back to my room. Already, I was going through a bad week and to that this is added. I didn't had lunch, like I didn't had for the past three days. Eating when depressed really sucks, Big Time. And I just can't probably eat during such time. So, after I got back to my room, I found myself shouting, throwing shoes, bag, watch and other things all around the room. And the funny part, I was shouting at God. Where did he come from? :Confused But, Still :Angry and cursing. 

So, where was I? Yeah, and then it stopped. My mind went blank and dropped me in a pit where there was questions shouting at me to which I had no answers. I skimmed through my previous posts- I wrote almost one each day, Whoa! Thats' something. And today(read: Yesterday) ? While I was skimming, I looked myself in the mirror and asked, "You sure that you were the one who wrote for the past week?" Confused, I was and hinting, hunting for some inspiration to keep me forward. I lost it. That which kept me going. Then and there. I look at the topic and I am like, "Wth am I gonna write for that? Come on think , think, think". So, after spending a great deal of time thinking about nothing, I end up with Nothing. My zeal just vanished into thin air as if it never existed. Wait a minute, it existed, right? I don't know. I am confused. I am Lost. I Need Inspiration and last call that I received an hour back just KILLED it. Like slice it with a Ninja Knife into countless pieces. Like a Nuclear Bomb that exploded and destrpyed every last thing that existed. So, the Slate is Clean - Perfect clean with a huge mess around and sweeping that is simply impossible. Bottom Line - FML. 

Troubled Traveller

Source

Troubled Traveller 

Seahawk, What message you carry?

Peaceful Journey

This Haiku is written for Carpe Diem under the prompt 'Seahawk'.

Relive.

Memories Fade

Beauty of Photograph

Relive Moments

This Haiku is written for 'Sensation Haiku Wednesday!' under the prompt Photograph.

P.S. : Well, It sounds so common. hmm..er.. But anyway- Still Learning. :P

Happiness, huh ?

Days faded away midst the mist as I slowly drifted from one place to another, one thought to another. Thoughts were haunted which scared the hell out of the pleasant mind, finally ending up in the thoughtless zone. But the mind was filled; never empty. While a thought advanced its step to grab the little space in the vast emptiness of the mind. But alas, thoughts got baffled by the unsteadiness of the mind. They left. 

The day seems fine, with a morning sunshine clearing the fog of the chilly night. I play with time, realizing it was moving fast than I would have thought. I realize I'm late. I become late. Late for what? I don't know. I am just late, hmm..er.. for everything. I try to reason, with time, with myself. I end up clueless spending more time. So, Life they say is Beautiful. I find it hard to believe it. So, they say, You have to make it beautiful. Well said, I reply. And I leave. After some time, it hits me. How does anyone do that? Life. huh, Life. 

It seems like an open book with empty pages. The book is to be filled and gets filled daily with the immense of the daily routines. There are moments. So open it is that it as vivid  & as clear, it could possibly be. But, then again it is our book where we can draw, create and make miracles happen. Its just what is within us. Miracles? I laugh. I say to myself, lets start living a normal life first, then we can decide about Miracles.

The empty pages are left empty as I lazy around each day trying to figure out how to write and make it worthy. Well, that seems to be a distant dream. My mind is actually playing a game, may be. The rules for the game are, what rules? . Just give me a break, will ya? I get up confused, I sleep confused. May be I dream confused. Oh yeah, I don't remember most dreams - So, am confused right! 

But then I realize, all this long, I have been criticizing about the things that should not have happened, but happened. And among those unwelcoming, un-forecasted things, some were good. But why bother about the good when we can just criticize the bad things that had happened? But they were BAD and we had a really really bad experience out of it. Human tendency to point out the bad, leaving aside whatever little good was done.

So just sit down, lie down, relax. There must have been a lot of good things that might have happened. But one bad thing destroys it all, either a small one or a very big one. Some might lose hope, some get depressed, some feel low, or whatever. But the countless happy moments just get lost in the thin air. 

Life is one such thing where we can do whatever we want. We can make the good out of the bad and make it right, given we take chances and curb the little sadness/whatever that is. Indeed, Life is Beautiful. We just have to find it, on our own how to make our life  beautiful. 

So, Where was I ? How does one even do that - that - Making life beautiful ? 

P.S. : So, yeah, I had nothing new to write, though there is like a library of things that the mind is thinking. So, just ranted out something which I have no idea what it is. Well, whatever. 

A Journey.

People. Different People. I see faces with expressions, thoughts. Some worried. Some just plain happy. Some innocence. Oh! No, I ain't a face reader. The mind perceives what it sees. It is a way to keep oneself at bay, away from boredom in long Journeys. Then there are those looks, which convey disinterest. Just the first itself, says it all. That's  what I was on a hectic-messed up Train Journey. I never liked Trains. And the journey in it. But sometimes, one has to travel in time of need. And no again, I had no need, no sense of urgency. Call it escaping, getting back or whatever. 

I was home (Ahmedabad) for almost near to a month; a few more days and a month would have been completed. And my birthday could have been celebrated among the loved ones. But No, I had to do the hard way. Last minute planning, I set out and came back to the place I am staying now - Bangalore. And now I feel, kind of different. Something has changed and I don't know what the hell it is. :/ May it is the aftermath of a heinous journey, or so I call it. And the journey was hectic. I wished I had a Tab. I could have watched a movie in between besides writing. And though the laptop is packed safely in my backpack, I hardly opened it since it has a very very long lasting battery(Sarcasm). But I had to read the posts. So, I did open, read a few, commented on a few. So, anyway That was it.

_______________________

Children crying, Children playing

People talking, People shouting, 

I listening songs, I Writing down. 

So, here it goes...

A child I saw, Just aged three

Bid farewell to his mom

To stay with his father.

A old man I saw, Troubled he looked, 

With great difficulty in his oldness

Did his work without anybody's help

A young Man I saw, Smiling he looked

But confused he was, a bit

Talked to all, like all were his own.

An old lady I saw, too talkative she was

Had to carry, more than she could manage

A young girl I saw, Busy she looked

Keeping herself awake till midnight, 

Work she did on her laptop.

________________________

Between confusions and Dilemma, 

A game that the mind played

He took a pen and a book, 

And wrote, that he himself never understood.

Battled he, all way long, 

Keeping himself busy, 

With work unknown, But

Wished the time moved a bit faster.

Woke up in the middle, 

Baffled he was, 

Looked at the watched, 

And sighed! Not even five minutes?

Spent a sleepless night, 

For the situation was such

But he cared the least, In mind

He said someone else is happy. 

Okay. Fine. That officially sucked. I tried, but I guess I just failed. That usually doesn't happen to me. (Yeah, I was Kidding) Lets' call it the Jet lag... wait... Journey Lag...wait not even that.. whatever-it-is lag. So, I was sitting all the way with a pen and a book as if I was a big writer of some sort. No Kidding. People were thinking you were doing some homework/assignment which you didn't do. Seriously? Damn! But...I ... hmm.. err... (Nothing to say). 

Kiddin' :P

Anyway, here is goes the daily thing...

P.S. : So, I have been thinking about poetry, I mean worambling a lot. So, I ended up whatever that is I just wrote. And these Illustrative images that I am uploading are from the Internet, Don't know the exact source. 

Rephrase Script.

Source

Chronic Assiduous Life

What mere Joy it lay

Rephrase Script, I say!

- Ajay Kontham [2013]

This is written under Haiku Heights for the prompt Script.

P.S. I'm still learning writing Haiku. So, Bear with me. :/

Winter Trees.

Source

Lost in Delicacy

Melodious, The Snow Song

Winter Trees Dance

This is a Haiku written under the prompt 'Winter Trees (Shiki)' for Carpe Diem.

P.S. : Well, this is my first attempt on Haiku. So, Please Bear with me. :/ And suggestions are totally welcome. Bring them on..

'Why, God..WHY?'

It was a weekend. He was excited. Everybody at college was. The college has been hectic that week. The assignments were piled up. But who cared? He didn't. He stayed at hostel. A two day off was all everyone wanted. He planned to go out into the city. Well, He had two days of free time. So, why not enjoy? 

He set out. On his way he sat beside a cute little girl. She was small. She reminded of his cousin sister. She broke his chain of happy-thoughts. She took a pen from his pocket. With her tiny hands she asked for his hand. He was shocked, a little amazed. But he gave her his hand anyway.

Too tiny were her hands to hold that Pen. But she still managed to write. She wrote on his hand with a little ease, a little difficulty which read as - "Class" and made a questioning expression. He was left clueless for a moment. In his mind he thought how to tell he was going to college.  His sister herself has trouble figuring out numbers greater than ten. He hesitantly replied , "12". She didn't understand. She showed him eight fingers. He opened the other two and two of his own.

His stop came. He didn't wanted to get down, but he did anyway. He got down with a heavy heart, for he realized she couldn't speak. He was disheartened. She was so small and a whole life ahead of her. With some sort pain & a ton of sympathy in his heart,  he said, "Why, God...WHY ?"

- Ajay Kontham [2013]

{That "he' in this passage is none other than the Author.}

-A Page from My Diary

P.S. : Nothing more to say. Anyways, as usual the Illustrative Images ...

Soon, Love!

He woke up to the beaming sunshine which filled the room in its entirety. With his half naked eyes he saw her, the beauty so pure, so serene beneath the dispersing sun-rays that struck her. He was happy. She slept happy. He slept in devouring her beauty. He fell asleep. 

When he woke up, she wasn't besides him. He panicked. He searched the whole house. She was no where to be found. His heart missed a beat. He searched again. He went back to their room. He found a note. "Come and Get me. Love ." He sighed a breath of relief. He knew where she would be. She loved plants. She loved flowers. She grew them in their backyard.   

Years passed. He grew old. He stood in the backyard enjoying the shade beneath the tree which she planted years ago. He placed the flowers from their backyard on her grave. He held that note in his hand as a silent tear trickled down his cheek. At the Back of the note, he wrote. "Soon, Love"

-Ajay Kontham [2013]

P.S. : I thought I was writing too serious posts. So, I stumbled at this. Don't kill me now. And I found some illustrative images related to this. hmm... Bear with me... 

Okay, Fine. I will stop now. Last one...

Phew. Done. 

Is anybody gonna kill him or should I? 

A million bucks for his head. 

No Kidding.

*Draws the Gun from the Drawer.* 

*Gun Shots are fired*. 

*Takes a Million bucks and Goes away*.

Old Habits Die Hard.

There is void, empty spaces in the heart. The severity of human patience , sympathy, caring have bound the little fore walls of the heart. Clenched and it makes the heart heavy.

The memories fade as time passes by. But some don't. I look outside the window of my room. The clouds drifting apart, losing the nicely formed white cloud of some shape. The vehicles passing by. I ponder. I think. I wonder whether this would ever stop. Well, then life would cease to exist, won't it?

Life is a never ending journey. I don't know how many times I used this sentence. We come by a lot of people. The empty void spaces are filled with happiness, sadness love and care. The heart is fulfilled and enjoys its very state, or just burdens itself with the pain. The empty spaces are created again. But the cherished memories/moments will be remembered for ever. Life is too short to think otherwise.

A Hard Reality

I've never been happy with the way my life is and how it is going to be. The future is uncertain but its predicable, though not always. It tells me to learn from the experiences and be a better man. The question  : Am I not a better man, now?  No. I wish I were.

I am in a constant battle in my head. Trying to figure out what's right, what's wrong? The result of the tiny battle is undisclosed, though it stays in front of my eyes. But whereever I end, it's exactly the wrong choice. Life goes on, but I am still stuck here - Analyzing and rebuilding. But it goes wrong. My mind says, Eff it. And I leave it. 

I ponder over the lost moments and time. I feel I could have done more, done better. But again reality strikes me and asks me in hell raging voice "WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW?". I search for answers. After a lot of time, I then realize I was doing the wrong thing searching for the answers to which the question is so unclear, for it wasn't a question at all in the first place. My mind says, "Eff, man". 

I realize the question was the motivation for me to do, not find. It meant work, not fooling around. It meant realization, not constipation. I now feel time was left a long time back and I am still at the station waiting for something, something to pick me up. From somewhere unknown I hear a voice saying, "You are still doing it wrong!" Old habits die hard. I was still sitting there analyzing what went wrong and where & what did I do wrong. 

Then It struck me. I was just sitting. I was thinking. I wasn't thinking 'right'. I was wondering. I wasn't channeling the thoughts properly. I wasn't working. I was't DOING. I stand up and realize, its' time to Do. It is never too late to start afresh. Now, I walk the empty roads. Roads, which lead to different distinct destinations. Now, I find myself lost. 

"What's my destination? "

Old Habits Die Hard. 

I again sit down and think. I don't think right.

-  Ajay Kontham [2013]

P.S. : I thought for a long time about the title of this post. Many came up. My Insanity , Wrongly, Right, bla bla. So, at last I did select a weird one.