*Updated/Edited.
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Deceiving Lies
Be strong, Be Courageous. Stand
For Truth, For Justice.
_________________________
Deceiving Lies
Destroying Pity Lives. Stand
Courageously for Justice.
a. The First One : Original - Felt more like a statement than a Haiku.
b. Tried to mend it a little.
P.S. I seemed to have lost touch of writing Haiku. This one doesn't sound promising, I know - Sry. Have to get back to my usual self - to write better, of course.
Despite all that you said, I still loved this one as I admire your Haiku writing a lot :)
ReplyDeleteThank You. That's very kind of you. :)
DeleteYou are right. You do seem to lose touch of Haiku you used to write. This was kinda more like statement than a haiku.
ReplyDeleteBut it also did say one thing to me. Your attempt. You tried to write. Something. That is quite appreciative, and the words you chose, the concept or to be apt the thought, is like saying to yourself to be courageous and rise. So you do filled the basic criteria of writing - to express.
And well, what was that sorry for? That you didn't well? Not at all man. Don't ever feel sorry for the words you write, even if you think those are the worst ones. Coz they really aren't and sometimes they are the only expression we can express in most sane way when we are swinging in between sanity and insanity.
Too much lecture for the day. I better escape before one of my fav blogger runs away from the class :P
Yeah. I realized that after drafting the thoughts and could't make it any better after that. :[
DeleteThank You. I tried.
Thanks again for the lecture. No, I won't run away. Because I get to learn something or the other. So Keep'em coming. :D
So, you don't like what you've written. So, keep writing anyway--that's courage!
ReplyDeleteCourage
Yeah. Like ^adreamygal said It more like a statement than a poem.
DeleteAnd Thanks for the inspiration. :)
Haiku composing isn't easy, sometimes you loose the feeling with it, it's part of growing up a haiku poet. Keep on gonig be inspired and courageous to write your haiku. I am sure that you will get back your touch with YOUR haiku. Namaste.
ReplyDeleteThank You. :)
DeleteMeaning is there ~ rearrange words perhaps ~ might like it better ~
ReplyDeleteI too feel the same.
DeleteThanks, btw for the advice and dropping by.
Perhaps your muse went fishing and will return shortly with a big catch (cache) of poems for you. Meantime, I'm with Magical M. Teacher! Keep writing!
ReplyDeleteThank You.
DeleteI plan to ... keep writing. :)
haiku is a delicate balance between saying something and not saying something. Subtlety is key to this art.
ReplyDeleteBe subtle, be a little mysterious w/out going too far and becoming an annoying riddle. Balance.
Show! Do not simply tell. Be specific. Avoid speaking in generalities. Figuratively speaking, get down on your knees and really examine the prompt, courage.
king protea <----(a flower that represents courage)
all the lies he stopped
listening to
To some beginners the haiku can seem rather boring. There's no telling. One must tease out the meaning sometimes. There's no flowery and archaic language. But it's beauty is in its simplicity. The magic of haiku is all the learning you'll do.
Keep writing. Keep learning. Keep growing in haiku.
Thanks Lolly.
DeleteThat was informative and well thanks, I intend to follow whatever you just mentioned and try to get better.
Since we are all our own harshest critics, we rarely like our own stuff as well as others do.....About one out of every ten I write have me saying "ahh, good one"....
ReplyDeleteCourage should be the motto of our lives !!!
ReplyDeleteTrue. It should be.
Delete