Rambling

A Life with certain desires. As time passes by, the life seems to be more meaningful and the struggle is inevitable. Life is such. In the process of reaching the clouds or the sky or the stars; there is fight, struggle for succeeding. But life isn't all about the goals and the weary dreams which seems legit at starting and become complicated as time flies by.

Sometimes we fall, sometimes we get down intentionally and the rest of the time people pull our leg. Because they don't like the idea of someone succeeding. The competition is healthy but ends up one sided and has all the elements of betrayal and inhumane thoughts. In all this time, we wonder sometime what we want to become and what want to do. We might love something and totally hate something. But we choose what we love to do. So, what don't we do to keep what we want. 


A Fight. 
Last week, I was at my Aunt's house as I had some exam. So, I was sitting and surfing the internet when my cousin brother aged 5 starts pinching his 12year old brother just because he changed the TV channel. And the older guy isn't such a soft one either, he keeps his interests to his own and don't care about his brother. Their mom shouts and the little one wins. There were similar such incidents where the little fight is won by the little one alone. Of course, right? He is so small and gets whatever he wants and the others like his brother has to adjust to pretty little things. That night, when the sky was dark I lay down to sleep after writing and publishing a post. All I could hear when I closed my eyes were the shouts/screams/squeals of the little guy. 


The above text has no much relevance. I just had that on my mind. So, I was saying Fight. Nothing is at the reach of the hand. No one is born with a silver spoon. No one helps when we are alone struggling. It all comes to us. What did we do when faced with a problem? What did we do to get what we wanted? In short, live for what you love/like. Fight for what you want. 

Impression. 
Well, this is something I wanted to write about and started with all the nonsense. So, Impressing and Impression. From school till so far, I have seen people including myself when we get to do things unknowingly just to impress or print a standard impression. So, how does one do that? Either flatter, or help or by getting involved. So, to impress teachers there were always bookworms who rise their hand to ask the questions(Stupid ones) and probably sit in the first benches. Isn't it so? One needs to be alert in the class to do that, I mean impress. Then there comes the students. Some find others attractive and what not they do just to impress.


I remember a guy from my school. I was in my 8th grade I suppose. That day was one of the girls' birthday and this guy who sat next to me was busy planning with a paper in his hand. And the next moment I saw him he was piercing a paper pin into his finger while the blood oozed out of it. "What the hell are you doing?", I asked (shouted). He calmly replied, "Wait for it". So, I observe him what he was doing. He covered the page on which he was writing and wrote something on it using his blood. Now, I was't that much dumb either to understand what he was writing. But I just didn't understand why blood. But he looses his confidence to face the girl as the lunch break arrived. Rest is history. For we were just children and the crazy idea of love is beyond our head or at least some of us except that guy.


Isn't it something which everyone strives to achieve. Though good or bad, each throws an impression on other which sometimes defines their state of mind or their behavior. First impression is the Last Impression. I'd truly go with that. Not that I make a good impression in the first time, just that I would like to follow this simple funda. If you ask me, sometimes the first impression isn't always ever-lasting. People change and so do the other people and eventually the standard form of impression is altered. The impression changes with just one wrong thing which shouldn't have been done, but under vile circumstances were done. Regaining that lost impression is totally difficult and totally impossible. 

Well, I am the silent guy. Ask anyone in my class, people wouldn't believe if I talk much. Nor even my relatives. When I was in college, I just sat there and watched people. You may ask, "Why don't I talk?". I'll make this short. Whenever I have something to tell or say to someone, my mind maps down what others might think if I say that and after series of algebraic mapping using some complex formulas, I conclude that it is better not to say anything and remove all the doubt. So, there it is. (By the way there is no formula of any kind, I just made that up). But I still try to do the inevitable thing. I try to. I had many instances when I was wrong / they were wrong. But I didn't care. I did what I wanted to do and at last I ended up being the scapegoat. It was then I realized that impressing means doing their dirty laundry. I am here speaking about the people of my age, my classmates and people I know. 
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In a totally unrelated topic, it seems that no one likes my hair style. First of all, I grew it a little long (not to long) intentionally. Because I look damn good. But everybody at home wants me to likes a professional hair duo with little hair. First of all short hair isn't my thing and it looks totally awkward and I look a big dumb, seriously I do. Secondly, inspite of my telling they don't listen. But, I really don't care about what they think. So, here I am imparting a bad impression on the people about me, aint I?. But then again, no one leaves me alone. Everybody just crawls up to my hair and keep bragging about it. Seriously, If I need to impress someone, I need to look good, right? And when I feel I look like a dumb in an army hair cut with porcupine style, how am I supposed to proceed? #JustSaying. So, yeah! I just couldn't get their prying eyes off my hair and their vague comments and so, finally got a hair cut. Now I look like a stupid. And I am kinda pissed right now.

I think I am being watched. So, I must be extra cautious. 

P.S. : I am in void. There is a lot on my mind and I just can't think straight. I might just explode any minute or break something. I think I may be a little hyper right now. There is a lot to do and I have no idea where to start. Thats' why I can't even write these days. :( :(