Friday, September 30, 2011

Dear Player.

Dear Player,

I am confused. You are confusing me. The thought you are generating, I never had before. Then I ask WHY? WHY ME?  You aren't to blame. Is it? or Is it your actions? or Are you like that only? I have never imagined that I would one day end up writing like this. But for you information, I am What I am. Though I tried changing, but its very difficult. And now I am tired of changing according to your requirements. What is that you want from me? hmm, I guess wrong question!! You made your point clear; very clear so many times. But it was me who wanted to tell you about it. But you never ever cared to listen. All that you were interested in was bullshit to me. The problem is that I never Imagined that it will be so complicated. I tried to unfold the mingled-up strands, but it is difficult as hell. Why should it always be me to suffer and think about it wasting all the time in the world and even writing about this nonsense. What for ? That I have never understood. You are playing it safe and sound. If you lose the sinking game, you have made the exemplary options ready for the next flight. You know me very well. That's why it is so easy for you to play. I never told you to stop playing. But at least give little notice of the work done by the other person also. Dammit man, I am so done. This is all shite. I am wasting time unnecessary. I should invest this time in writing more purposeful. Just that you get of my head, I would be relieved. So I am trying to find the freedom from you by writing about it. Still it sucks. But as far as you are concerned, you wont even give a peek even if I tell that I wrote about you. Damn. Just end it like you ended it with the rest and get off my head. And next time you wont hear from me for sure, if everything goes as planned. 

Irritatedly Played One. 


Dear Not-So-Concerned,

Please Ignore this post and most importantly ME. Still? But Why ? Are you really interested or Are you at least concerned? Frankly, No other person is concerned about me except my family. But then again, why do you pretend to be something as if you care? You purpose is the need / a work / or something which you might need when in need. Then, why do you make me swear promises which I am most likely to break and never-the-less they are extremely hilarious. And once in a blue moon, you appear as if some urgency is needed and ask the stupidest of the questions and unfortunately if I didn't do as I promised, I get to hear the annoying conversation ever. It really SUCKS. And you really don't know about it. STFU. Enough. I had all that I needed to have. So please stop it before it gets worse. I am nearly one hundred percent sure that you don't give a shit about me. So why should I ? If it is what they call biscuits, then I had more than enough. This time, I will be on my watch and it won't be like you expected. And if everything goes well, you won't even hear from me. Please don't show me that fake unwanted concerned-attitude of yours. It arouses the interest and then you suddenly break it like an old glass mirror. Smashed. Broken. Scattered. It seems so real when you speak those words as if you are really interested in helping by showing the concern, but the very next moment it strikes me What the hell ? , and tell me frankly, do you really give a damn. NO, I don't think so. It is till the time you get what you want, then why the hell would you care? Just think about all the favors you asked me and tell me one thing that I asked you to do! Just get back to those things, if in case you tend to remember. If I am not wrong, you wont keep such things in mind. Because your purpose was met and what is the use of me after that; until there is something you have in mind. Well this is another useless post, because this doesn't reach the person intended. At least I don't want to keep much memories of these nonsense and bloody nuisance. I can't take it anymore. You have to stop or I have to. Moreover its absolutely difficult to tell you. Better option would be I. And if everything goes as planned, then you will have to search for some other person for making a bakra. I am pretty sure there would be a lot many people in list just for you. And in case you get a new one, just don't play with them your nasty game. Show some respect to their emotions / feelings. I think I said more than enough (to no one ) . Anyways be on your watch, someday you might as well be on the same road ( about 5% chances ). Else you WIN everytime. 

The Hurt-ed-One.

Monday, September 26, 2011

A Post.

I have just crossed the 150th post in the timeline of my 2 years of blogging. Two years and just 150 posts, you may ask. Yeah, that was the most I could do. Now that I am bringing new changes to the blog everytime, I think it will take some time to stabilize. And don't get confused by looking at the followers number. That is based on the policy, You follow mine, I will follow yours. Stupid, though. Most of it is from The Blog Frog, where everyone is interested in increasing the follower count, no matter what the content may be. When I crossed the 100th follower count, I stopped adding people. Now I am actually following more than 500 bloggers, of which nearly half of them are mom-bloggers, I guess. And when I looked at the hit counts, I am very much pleased to see the number; not only pleased but shocked also. How could this happen? Later I found out that I had registered my blog in many sites which I myself don't remember. And whenever I post a new blog-post, as it goes through those sites which basically do the publishing thing on facebook, twitter, buzz, etc., the count gets increased. So actually anyone reading my blog, I get nearly 30+ page hits, if just I post. So, I can say, you people have been deceived. 

 As I open my blog page everyday with a thought of atleast comment, I find none. None. Though I dont care that much. At least it would make me happy. Later I speck the stats and the number seems pretty high. Like I said before, the publishing sites. Henceforth, the country which it shows in the page view list is nearly equal to India.

Now that I am planning the changes, though I know that nothing would change actually. So I am changing. I have said earlier about the privatization of the blog. This is due for now, but later with in this week, I surely will. And why am I doing that ? I got a reason, which I might tell after the Dussera Vacation, if you are lucky enough or say I am unlucky enough ( :P ) ! Though I may give the brief outline about what I may write in the blog afterwards. It is mostly the experiences which I faced and I didn't let the people know about it. The hard reality about me ( lol, as if I am a great person where I am having a mass following; funny ) which happened and wish to have happened. Though there will be no one reading except a few to whom I will give the privileges. Rest, even if you read, you will just mark it a  rubbish post. 

Till my next post then ! 

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Mind Game - Superstition

Dear Superstitious Mind, 

What the hell is wrong with you? Does that really help? I don't understand why? I have observed you for quite some time, now. Everytime it is not the same. Everytime you think if you same pen / pencil you will be getting the same result as the last time. No! Every-time you wear the same dress, some thing might happen to you, this too is wrong. Everytime you follow the same procedure so that it goes as smoothly like the previous time; this too never happens. What has to be done to make you realize this fact. Being superstitious doesn't make you Super. You are just playing with yourself, a game with same old rules which are quite outdated. How was it the the first time it went smoothly without your superstitious mind playing the mind games. How? Just think. Sometimes during examination, writing with a specific pen might have given you good marks. SO !? Does that mean that everytime you right with the same pen you are likely to get the same good marks. Really?, Is that so ? It is not only funny but a kind of weird also. There is some thing called  hard work which pays of correctly even if you use either a rupee pen or a million dollar pen. The cost matter over here, hard work does.

The dress you wear(same kind), the work you do (same way) doesn't really decide whats gonna happen next. If there is something you want / want to achieve , the only remedy I can think of is work hard, even harder. Just don't give preferences to those crappy things. 

Another Superstitious Mind

Friday, September 23, 2011

The Deceived.

Dear Wall-Seeker,

I thought for a long time to change your name. The wall-seeker isn't an appropriate word for you. I thought and thought; got some names but aren't rhyming so please adjust with the old one. I too realized that it is the weirdest and the reason too. Anyways,hope that you can ignore it. Now coming to the point. What are you, man? You have already completed 4 units out of 5, and are fearing that it won't be completed in the whole next month. Man, this is crazy. Look at out situation. One month left and almost 3/4th of the total semester syllabus has been on hold for a month and we are still bunking classes. I don't know how you are teaching the juniors the subject, but when it was our turn two years back, it was like a book-recitation competition. Every word that you told wasn't out of the book. And frankly, I didn't understand most part of it, while we were kind of busy making fun of you while you were teaching. And what, MicroProcessor is easy ? May be it is. And if it is so easy why do you still ask me questions which I don't know and frankly I just nod saying Yes Sir. The reality is that I had forgotten everything. And everytime you ask it is like a new story being recited to me. My Sincere apologies. Can't help it, when I don't know a damn thing. 

I thought you would observe me. But Bloody hell, you don't. I give you 1000 reasons that say "I am not interested in your bullshit". But it seems very difficult for you to understand. Because you are so busy explaining your over-my-hear crappy bullshit that you forget to observe the people who are supposed to listen to you. Till now, It was limited to the class, I mean the college. Yesterday, you breached it into the hostel also in the hostel-mess too. That's the point where you cross the limit. I don't usually eat. Once in a while I go, and some or the other person comes and start _ me like this. Yesterday, it was you. I barely ate anything because you didn't stop even for a while. Was that so important? And what was that you asked? Come on now, you have been teaching for more than 8 years, you still asking the students and that to be basic questions. Well, I am sorry that you think I am helping you. Sorry. You are completely mistaken in this context. If you want a good explanation, i will provide you with the names. He will make you crazy, because they know far more than me and even you. And don't you limit yourself with the academics. What was that you asked.. "You are looking good, did you just bathe and came here?" ! I was like ( !!? What). I had hoped him to leave as soon as possible, but he didn't. He stared at me, and talked all rubbish not allowing me to eat properly. Next time, I will try to escape from you, for sure. !


P.S. : Well, now its your turn to think whether the post-title is apt and who got decieved !! :)

Lite (Bunking) !

Dear Bunkers,

Recently, I have been hearing this very word 'lite' too often. The reason is simple. No one is taking anything serious. The reason for being so ? Frankly, Ask them,I say. And there was an instance with me too where I was compelled to be the not-me. Well, here I am talking about something different. It is about today's class. It was pre-planned though, that these people planned to bunk the college today. Seriously. I want to ask you a question here, What have you been doing the previous week? And also what in the name of god, you did today ... anything useful / important / anything. Well, keep the answers to yourself. I am not here to judge you on what you did / will do / want to do / or do nothing / anything of that sort. This semester began almost about 3 months back and the syllabus covered in this period is just 2 units of the total 5 units. And only a month more is left for the final semester end exams. You may be geniuses and Einsteins, but is it any pain in the ass if you attend the classes. What ? Seriously ? I don't really know why always I hear "Lets bunk the class  / college ". MAN, seriously what other important plans you have that you have to bunk. Ask yourself. You may spend the time efficiently, I frankly don't know about it. But sometimes you have to think also, before you decide to bunk. Not that some guy is bunking, let us also bunk the college. WTH , man ? You got a job,  very good and congrats. Or is it that you are in 4th year, and you can decide anything you like as you are about to get the degree what so ever! Does that mean you can stop coming to classes and hop around instigating the idea of bunking in each and every other person? If you have genuine work, bunk. Else ( mln !!). 

Now, I understand the situation every time and then decide whether to bunk or not. I too bunk, but occasionally when there is a need or when there is a work. Else I am totally against the idea.

So the thing is that make your own decisions and analyze the situation before you do and think whether it is worth it. And most importantly think about the consequences. !!

And I gave the title 'lite' as many people think that the classes aren't that important and take them lightly (lite-ly) and not taking it seriously.

Non-Bunker (Atleast most of the times)  

P.S. : Bunkers here doesn't refer to sand bunkers or anything of that sort. I called the people bunking classes as Bunkers (No Offense) ! 

Thursday, September 22, 2011


Dear (Few) Readers,

This is a post regarding the privatization of the blog for the coming few weeks. So, if you think you can really bear the boredom in the future, then please leave a comment. I know that there are no more than three readers. Just in case if I have an unseen-unknown admirer of my nonsense, (no offense) ! Just comment / send a mail, anything. I too know that no one would be so concerned. I am just posting as I have to, unless its not so good to go Private without informing. Now the question is "Why am I going for a private blog?" . This is a good question. Just that I am planning for something after two weeks, which I think is the best, so in regard of that I am going private. I will be posting the related articles and hopefully I don't want readers to pour in their ideas, (lol, big joke, readers?! ) or say don't want to know about it. Just in case if any, waste your precious time here. :P

The Writer.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Guys/Gals on Facebook

Dear Fake Profiles,

It is really very easy to find that more than 1/4th of the total Facebook users use another account. And the funnier thing is that the guys are lured by the fake display picture and seemingly girly/feminine profile. Seriously? I don't really think the girls would have such large time to keep on adding 4000+ people to their friend list. Seriously guys, I know you do want to maintain a large following of people though you wouldn't really talk, unless its a girl. And the funnier thing is that the profile doesn't even belong to the girl itself. Haven't you observed that the same display photos are with other girls too just that the name changes in every other profile. Those profiles remain totally inactive, whether you buzz them or even curse them. What I think is that those profiles are created by guys only. No? May be not, but it's still my opinion. What happens is when I log in, there in the sidebar a list of people is displayed which says "People you may know" ! Well, that's fine that I don't know them. First of all, how did they come under that name. And second of all 90% of them are girls and the rest are guys with totally repelling dp's. What to say about the feminine dp's? You might guess right enough. The original is totally different or most importantly the profile isn't even theirs. I have observed this. I have another account, I tried adding all the people under the list People You May Know. The funny thing is the Facebook can very well differentiate between a guy's and a gal's profile. It didn't ask me anything while I was adding a guy, but when it comes to girl's profile, after adding two it asks Do you know? To prevent misuse of facebo... ! like message pops out. Well, I even ignored it and added. Lastly, got bored. And of all the friend requests I sent, 60-70% accepted the request; mostly girls. Really? I said to myself. Later after some days, I saw the same dp's with different names, different places. The conclusion I made was that most of the profiles which aren't updated daily and that which are being accepted (here I mean the profile which claim to be girls) aren't real for sure. So don't keep sending your friend requests and get blocked in the process and also if they add you stop those idiotic messages on their wall. It's spoiling my wall saying he posted on her wall like bullshit. And don't ever think that you would end up hooking up with the girl from Facebook. Later, you might realize that it was the guy playing with you and you will be the fooled one. Seriously stop it. Of all the chances you might actually have 0.0001% chance that it is a girl and again 0.0000000008% chance that she would hang out with you ! Stop that nuisance before it gets even worse.

The Observer

Sunday, September 18, 2011

DP on FB.

Dear Self,

You are not constant in mind. I know that. You have various thoughts pouring at the same time. And I also know that you want a change, real bad. What I have been observing is that you are insanely putting the weirdest of the photos as your display picture on Facebook. The only thing you know is that Its looks good, no.. totally awesome. If I am not wrong, this is your strong opinion. Right? But do you think the others also think the same. They got vexed with your top to bottom self-portraits. What ever you think, I have no idea. But these people who have you in their friend list totally hate it. And If I am not wrong most of the people might also have blocked my status updates just because I post some of the most non-sense and to get rid of the not-so-charming display picture. Dude, wake up and look around yourself. When other people having half the number of people than the people in you friend list get more than 40 likes for a similar post, what else would you think the reason to be. Just go to you profile picture gallery and look at the past dp's. They are insane, man. Recently, you changed to something else. That was new. But again, you got back to where you started. This was known. Well, if I am not wrong you claim yourself to be a good photographer. So do justice to yourself and get yourself a nice dp, not those top view, bottom view, side view etc views of self-portraits. Whatever ! Change it as soon as possible(ASAP) !!

Irritated One.

PS. : If in case you don't know; DP=Display Picture & FB=Facebook. I mean for KG students and people watching POGO, if any !!

The Interview-Drama!

On 9th of September, the drama began. Like everybody else I was also borne with the same role. But the procedure was quite different. Well, if you have read my previous post, though you haven't except for a few. And the number can be counted, I mean the number of people who read. For those who haven't, I will provide with the necessary link : Experience (un)Certainity. Hmm, really(?) you would go back to this link. I frankly think that you won't. Well anyways for the very few, I am continuing with this. And even if no-one is interested, I still would. :D .

We had two rounds of interview. One was the Technical Round(TR/ Drama Part 1) and the other Human Resource Round (HR/ Drama Part 2). There was long wait before we were to be called. So the person before me in number was getting kind of scary and nervous type. He saw me and I was not doing anything, like preparing or anything of that sort. I told him that I had lost interest and probably I might be rejected in the TR itself. Adding to this I even said that for getting rejected, I came another day dressed like a joker. This could have ended smooth and simple the previous night itself if you hadn't said anything of postponing to this very day. Dad called I said the same thing. Mom called and I repeated the same thing. I was about to attend just for an experience so that the I might know what changes I had to make in me before I attend the next interview. Well the hour came within no time. So, the Drama Part 1 began : 

Technical Round :

 As I walked towards the so designated place I had forgotten what I had to tell in the beginning and also that I was going for an interview. Lastly I convinced myself that this was an interview. And which went like this...

Interviewer: So, You are Ajay Kontham. Take you seat.

Ajay Kontham : Good afternoon Sir. (I said thank you, but it wasn't audible to me either).

Interviewer: Tell me something about yourself.

AK Sir, My name is Aja.....  I continued smoothly ... until he stopped me where I was telling about my academics...  specifically my schooling !

Interviewer:  So you know Gujarati?

AK : No Sir.

Interviewer: You can understand it.?

AK : Yes Sir, a little bit. Mostly, the people over there speak Hindi Sir.  
[ Frankly I don't a word in Gujarati except hai/hello. ]

[Long Pause! I didn't know what to do whether I had to continue my about myself or wait for another question]

Interviewer: Which place is better Gandhinagar or Visakhapatnam?

AK : Sir, My school is in Ghandinagar but I stayed in Ahmedabad.

Interviewer: (He repeated the previous question) 

AK : Ahmedabad, Sir I replied.

Interviewer: So, You are having good CGPA, I don't want to ask you any questions. I will give you a puzzle. Will you solve it.  

AK : Yes, Sir. 

Interviewer:This puzzle. (He hands over a book to me referring to a question number).
[ For a moment, sorry, moments my mind went blank. I read half of the question without realizing that I read the previous half. So I started trying to solve the question. Well actually the question was kinda tricky. And Seriously, me... under pressure... very bad combination. I got to a conclusion after trying for some ten minutes and I told the answer. Frankly, I don't know whether its the answer or not.]

AK : 60 , Sir.

Interviewer: mhmm, okay. I will give you another question. Try solving it.

AK : (Confidently, though I wasn't) Okay sir.

[ Damn, the question was not only lengthy, it was far far tricky. I wrote on the paper trying hard to solve it. I scrambled almost half of the page making rigorous movements and spoiling the page. Time was kinda running out. At least that was my feeling. If I am not wrong, I took nearly fifteen minutes. Later in the end, (to hell), I said a random answer. I don't know the answer, neither did I get anything from solving it. I just said it because the time was running out. ] 

AK : Allen sir.

Interviewer: (He looks back of the puzzle book for the answer). What did you say?

AK : Allen Sir,

Interviewer: (He looks like "? ! "). Are you sure?

AK : (Confidently, which I wasn't even in the slightest proportion) Yes SIR.

Interviewer: Thank you, You may go now. Nice talking to you. (Extends his hand for shaking).

AK : Thanks you Sir. 

Look at my stupidity. Is this even sharable ? If anyone asks me what he asked me in the TR, what am I supposed to say ! He gave me two puzzles! The previous night one of the girl whose father was there till the end told us all her questions so that we might prepare for our turn. That was an half an hour interview. She told us questions and frankly speaking I haven't heard of some of them. The person sitting to me was asking her to tell the answers and though I didn't ask; which doesn't mean I knew the answers. I gave myself a raised eyebrow sighing that the interview was pretty tough and I am sure to get eliminated. Now what happened? Puzzles ! , which I didn't answer correctly. After waiting for another three hours a list came which had the rejected people list. WOW! Mine wasn't there.  I didn't know what that he (*the interviewer saw in me). I was in for the next round. Good to know that, I convinced myself. After some time the drama part 2 also started which was like this...( don't judge me with that, I know I am kind of weird...)

Human Resource Round :

Interviewer: You are (while she was searching for my name by looking at the photo) Ajay Ko.....  This madam looked tough, I swear. She really did.

AK : Yes Ma'am. Good Afternoon.

Interviewer: Please take your seat.

AK : Thank you ma'am.

Interviewer:  What is the difference between 2G and 3G ?

AK : (What? Anyways, I knew the answer).. [ I started telling about it with all the stuff I knew.. GPRS... GSM...EDGE....2G...2.5G...2.75G...3G...3.5G... I told everything I knew, probably all mixed up. ]

Interviewer:  On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate yourself in terms of communication and why ?

AK : Ma'am I would give myself 8 out of 10. ( and continued with the stupidest of the reason available that I could think of... and I still continued..)

Interviewer: I think you didn't get my question clearly. I said (repeated the same question..adding to it..) a person or a larger mass of people.?

AK : Ma'am, In that case also, I would give myself 8. (Hell, I thought. What did I just tell.. '8' really? really? really?) 

Interviewer: How would you justify it?

AK : [I started giving the same but a little bit modified even more lamer reply.]

Interviewer: So, as you claim yourself 8/10 in communication, I will give you a topic. Speak on it for 3 minutes.

AK : (I am so f_'d !!) Okay ma'am.

Interviewer:  The topic is "Unity in Diversity".

[ I was completely blackened. What should I say? I thought for nearly 10 seconds or so. Still nothing stuck me. She peeked at me after 10 seconds or so.]

AK : (So I started ...speaking about India .... the recent ANNA Hazare movement... then I stopped. Nothing came to my mind after that. She again looked at me sternly sort of. I was silent for sometime)

Interviewer:  What do you think you lack in yourself that you didn't give yourself 10!? (The actual question was somewhat different, but this was the meaning)

AK : [ I said something though, but she wasn't convinced. At least I knew that.]

Interviewer: What is your native place?

AK : Rajahmundry, I said.

Interviewer: Speak about it.!

AK : (What!?) Ma'am I haven't been in my hometown since my birth. So I don't know much about it.
[ What the hell was I supposed to say. I actually don't know myself what to tell which place my native place is. How was I supposed to tell about a place where I hardly stayed for 2 years. !!!! ]

Interviewer:  mhmm... Tell about your family.

AK I started speaking about my family starting from my dad... occupation... mom....till my brother.. and the so related things. 

Interviewer:  That even your friend who knows you or anyone who finds about you can tell ! What else can you apart from this ? 

AK : [ Now this is weird. I told almost everything. There was nothing left actually ! Still I told something from the previously told things. ]

Interviewer: So, which question did you prepare? 

AK : [ Actually I had this in my mind that I didn't specifically prepare for a question. I just prepared for all the basic questions equally. But you know, what I said? This was the weirdest-stupidest-lamest ever of all !! ]

               Ma'am I wanted to give spontaneous answers.

[ What the hell? Where did this come from? Man, I am ruined for sure. ]

Interviewer: Oh, you wanted to give spontaneous answers, (!!). And you give yourself 8 out of 10 in communication and can't even speak for 20 seconds! And You didn;t even tell know about your native place. Now, how am I supposed to evaluate you ?

AK : [ I could see stars, I couldn't even look into her eyes. For more than 10 seconds I thought what to tell. Finally I said ] 

                       Ask another question ma'am. 

Interviewer:  mhm, Do you know about Android?

[ Thank god, I knew about it. ]
AK : Yes, ma'am.

Interviewer: What is it? 

AK : [ I told everything I knew... about it.  ]

Interviewer: Can I use it in my phone? My phone is a Nokia. (Rest was my duty to observe...  It was Nokia C5 touch. I could at least tell that, but she didnt ask about it) !

AK : No ma'am, I replied adding that in the future there is a possibility of using  Android on Nokia ( Context changed to the farthest extent).

Interviewer:  [ Rest was the bond, in case of mismatch of documents...... etc et cetera !! ]

                Thank you, You may go.

AK : Thank you ma'am.  

I was very much sure that, I had to try my luck for the next coming companies. So, keeping that in mind, I even went to give my clothes for washing well in advance. 

PS. : If this post is in small text, I don't know what happened. Blogger-Error! (Too much editing, I guess ) Ignore it ! And If possible Ignore the POST also . Okay, Now don't make fun of me, you got it ?? 

P.PS : I still don't believe, my name is there in the list. Or may be I saw it wrong. If so, I would be the jobless guy.(!!) 

P.P.PS : For you information (FYI), AK= Ajay Kontham, if in case you still watch POGO !! 

Saturday, September 17, 2011


Dear Phone,

I know you are most eager to buzz in the most inappropriate time and always have the habit of not buzzing when free. Seriously, I have unsubscribed to all the SMS channels. So you will have the liberty to take rest for much more time. You don't have to expect messages from the Google either. The other day, my dad saw and said you have 25 unread messages. Oh, when I saw, I wasn't at all surprised to find that all the messages from the Google SMS Channels, which I had subscribed a long time back. And seriously, none of my friends would forward a message until its a national holiday or lets say a friendship day. Though you may receive some like one in a week or a fortnight, or even a month. Gone were the days when I used to send 20-40 messages per day to all the people in my contact list. It was just to finish the monthly message offer. Even now and then I recharge, I get the least to send the forwards. Even if I send, I am pretty sure, it would go directly to the trash after viewing. Never-the-less, thanks for the weekly/fortnightly messages from some of my friends. Thank you.  And now the service providers are also playing some stupid games mingling with the existing offer. So, I wouldn't over burden you with any more messages and its related recharges. You might ask what's the need of the existing 2500+ forward messages in you phone. Never mind. I will keep them for some time and forward one by one to the weekly/fortnightly messaging people. And the feature of the blinking thing on my Nokia 5800 Music Xpress whenever I get a new message, I get eager to know what it is and from whom it is just to find it from the stupid advertisement offering a 80% discount. I sometimes ought to believe such things, you know ! Well now, trying to bid farewell to the tiring messages. Hope, I will. Till then, wait ! What? You still here reading this. Really? Com'n dude. Really? Seriously? Man, I thought atleast by now you might have got bored of these never ending trashy, unproductive and really destructive posts of mine. If you have subscribed, I know you haven't but even then if by chance, if you have, I recommend you to unsubscribe and for those following me also !

Tired User

Experience (un)Certainty.

The silence of the mind was broken for once when we heard about the mid examinations approximately two months earlier. There was a hype, but none seemed to concerned or say afraid of it. Everyone was as casual as they could be, atleast for me. A week later, exactly a week before the mid examinations were scheduled, we were told that the Campus-Recruitment will start from the coming month and the first company to visit will be TCS (Tata Consultancy Services) on September 7th, 2011. The so cautious mind which had been preparing to face the mids just got a little shock, shock to that the placements were starting to early. 

 Eventually, this disrupted the daily schedule of the college. The addition was the CRT classes. CRT here refers to Campus Recruitment Training Classes. But there was always a talk about the mids in between giving a little more shocks to the existing one. The classes were held as scheduled and they were pretty fine also, though I didn't learn much of it. I had to attend, no escaping was allowed, but for some they didn't care. Finally, the day came, without me keeping track of the days. And what did I prepare.? Seriously, nothing,  when compared to others. Really, you ought to believe me.  I was kinda lame in this. Though I knew that this was an opportunity, seriously, I don't actually knew what happened to me. 

One thing was that there was no written exam for the people having the aggregate above and ezual to 75%. Thank god, for that. Else I would have been eliminated in the written exam only. Phew. :) . The day before it was scheduled to begin, we had to submit the applications, and so we did. And the night the panel numbers were displayed and surprisingly my name wasn't there. When asked upon, I was told that they might have misplaced and will be told the next morning itself. So, the next morning then, I convinced myself. And later opened a book, and slept after doing some reading or better say skimming, rather fast; nothing actually going to the mind.

Well, the next day I went to college where it was supposed to happen at 8.30 am. Later what I found was that the people who haven't been listed had to wait for some time, till their panel is set. So I waited and waited until the panels came which was nearly 10.30 am by that time. Hell, i exclaimed. As time still passed  by, I was still unaware of the panel number. I was repeatedly asking the concerned placement coordinator for my section, for which he always replied "It will take some time, the panels haven't been decided yet". What happened to be in the meanwhile as all my friends started attending the interview and coming back also,  I started losing interest. Really don't know why! . Finally, I lost interest and the only thing that was holding me was that it might give me an experience for the next interview. So, I had to be patient & so was I. After some time, i left the premises with a thought in the mind that it will take much more than anticipated. So, I come back to my room take a long nap. Later, I thought of giving a visit so as to know about any news about the proceedings. One of my classmate, who was also not given a panel like me was holding himself there itself since morning. Upon calling I found that they were going to finish it today itself. So I kinda rushed back. Many of my friends had finished their turn and were set to move back to their rooms/home. As time ticked away, the room started getting less populated. And finally nearly at 9 pm, we were given the panel. Thank god, I said. It was gonna end today itself. I had no tension, no worry, nothing. When I went there I was 3rd followed by a classmate of mine & I was followed by two other girls of my class itself. What those girls wanted was to go in before us. What could I do? One of the girl had brought her father along with her, who I think was there since the morning. So, we call it fate/ or bad luck. :( . After the half an hour spending for the first one, the second girl went in.  Luck also plays serious nasty games sometimes. By the time she was about to finish, we came to know that that particular panel was being closed and we might be allotted to another panel. The supposedly fearful person who was to go in next was so afraid of the interview that he wanted it to be held tomorrow. And so he told the person in-charge, without saying a word to me. As I said, I lost total faith in it and was just attending for experience, I had no idea this thing happened. What else could I do? Fcuk^n ! I had waited for this since morning and later I find that it will happen the next day. I called my dad and said what happened. To which he replied, " Don't worry, they are testing your patience". What the hell.!!!!  Those people don't even know that I would be interviewed, and they were testing my patience. Real Funny. Really very funny.

That night I couldn't sleep. I didn't had breakfast in the morning and the lunch was freaking cold, which I left in the middle and the dinner was sold for nothing. And moreover I stood for almost most part of the day so for that reason, my legs were acing real bad. For almost three hours I struggled to sleep and in my mind I was having really weird kind of thoughts about the day and myself scolding those people for such nuisance. I had almost spent the entire night thinking about it without sleeping, though I was trying real hard to sleep.

So finally the next morning came. As I had no idea what panel I would be in, I went at the same time as the previous day. After some irritating talks the drama of the day began. The people who were supposed to be interviewed  after me were done way ahead of me and again my name wasn't heard for a long time. By now, I totally totally lost the interest. And also forgot everything(which was nothing) I studied. I told my mom also the same thing. After some time, I was pleased to hear my name. Thank god, at least my name is there, I convinced myself. The person who was before me was really freaking out like the last night. He was squandering here and there asking people what was happening in the interview and was really trying hard, which I was observing. So the panel number was 16 and my number in that panel was also 16. As the count incremented, finally my number did come.

PS. : Really? You read the whole thing. WOW. Really, I appreciate your patience. I will test it again in the next post of mine which will be about my experience in the Interview.!
Till then, take care. :)

Thursday, September 15, 2011

The Believer

Dear Believer/Optimist/Hard-Worker,
Success comes to those who believe in themselves.
I have been  to a lot of places since my childhood. All the people whom I met had some or the other talent; unique talent. But when it comes to you, I found extra-ordinary talent. Not only are you hard-working, but a self-believer. I have never seen any person so confident of himself and ready to accept challenges. Believing is Self is the hardest part, which I consider. And when I saw you, I saw the spark. It requires the strength to say no, because you are not interested. But it requires even more strength to face the next challenge. During this process, one may be dis-heartened by seeing at others' performance and may sometimes degrade his confidence. But a hard-worker would never find it difficult to face challenges. The challenges seem like a piece of cake. And at last congratulations.


PS.: This post was intended to be lengthy, but don't know what happened, I slept and forgot what I wanted to write. My apologies.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011


Dear Wall-Seeker,

You have never known what is being talked behind your back. You claim to hold supreme knowledge and also the voice. And with one redundant sentence of yours, has claimed you a brand nick name "Daddy". I hope you do know what that sentence is, "I consider you all as my children". I frankly don't know why you boast about it so much, it ends up making fun of you. And never-the-less the impressions you keep on the students is remarkably worst ever. You really think I am a 'knowledgeable guy'. If I was I wouldn't have joined this college, in the first place and second of all I would have looked for some better company than TCS.  Sometimes it is hard to tell when you ask the questions which I don't know. What ever I do is to defend myself and in this process, the answers you get are purely fictional. You shouldn't depend on me. I don't know a damn that you ask. But I pretend as if I know. Today, you thanked me more than I have ever wished you in the college till now. And what did I do. Nothing. I just narrated the lines as it is and for that you call me a GOOD guy and a person with good explanation. Hell. Well, the truth is that I don't know a thing, I mean I don't remember a single thing.It's been a long while, like 1 year . I don't even remember the subjects I studied at that time. What more? I don't even know the present semester subjects while I am having a mid exam tomorrow. Today, whatever I told was BULLSH*T. Don't even think that it was the right one. And the comment you made," You give good explanation". I would have laughed my ass off, but couldn't because I was in a staff room. I hope you do a lot of homework. So the text book will be great help than me. I observed your notes. Each line had an explanation, when each line was the explanation of the topic. Well, that is you. I just wanted to tell that I am not as Intelligent as you think, I am. I am far worse. If you want, I will show you the real talent of the people which you still didn't find. And I am not even comparable to them. And the name Wall-Seeker is just a name given by me. Reason? (will be told upon request).


Lettre de l'auto.

Dear Self,

You haven't been yourself for the past six months. It seems like you are thinking one and doing something else, which is nothing. I could just warn you and get back to you senses before it's too late. What happened to you? Why all of a sudden you are like the every other person you had meet so far.? I believe you have your own identity, and i would ask you to get back to it. No matter what.This freaking you is completely insane. This man has taken everything for granted. And never-the-less is behaving like a new person I had never known, never seen. The weight of the word 'light' is playing the best role possible. And I warn you, this is dangerous. This isn't you at all. You have been influenced ? Or what ? I believed that no one could influence you in any way. What happened to you? You were the best with what you were. I liked it very much, though the every person hated it. Because after all it was YOU, not someone else.  I clearly don't get what actually happened to you and what caused such a drastic change in your behavior. I am seriously warning and giving you a sound advice that you get back to what you were. I know it sounds idiotic, as the old you was as such. But after all you weren't imitating others and not having an artificial face to cover your feelings. Now, you are not only acting weird, you are thinking weird also. All that I ask is get back, even if its impossible, Just try.

Expecting Change.


Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Dear Player.

Dear Player,

I thought of making the point clear today. But the problem is that you never read my blog and you would never understand. I am trying to get over you as soon as possible before I do something more weird. But it seems its quite hard to make you understand. Anyways you are happy with what you are because you are yourself. Thanks for the short time. I wouldn't expect much. Hope you don't realize this that you are a damn player playing the game with people's emotions. You made it very clear today. And I am happy to know that. Thank you. And don't expect me to be like you. NEVER will that happen. Not even in dreams. I am what I am; and you be yourself. One mistake you did was that you shared one important thing and didn't realize it till now. This made my job much more easier. Just because you are .... I gave the little freedom you ever wanted and even played your dirty puppet. But I still knew that it was all a bloody forsaken drama; Fcuking drama.! Well, I haven't been a good actor and surely you deserve better people. And so do I, I guess. So lets just end this the easy way. mln !

Extremely Seriously,
Played One.


Dear Readers,

Isn't it funny that I say 'Readers', when there is utmost  one in a year.  So, I have been observing since a long time. I am sorry that I haven't been able to visit many of the blogs in the recent months. Sorry for that. But atleast someone could have dropped by atleast mine and added a comment which would have given me a power boost. Well, if you did visit then THANKS. So, with the preliminary observation, I concluded that there is no point in hiding and being good by writing my ugliest write-ups and no one reads. That is quite clear. So, from now onwards there might be usage of some vulgar words, not many though. I will keep only the famous words which the people most frequently use; even more than the word 'hello'. 

Thanks for your patience. I know that I am talking to the wall and simply no one is reading even this. It is just my satisfaction.

-The Writer

Monday, September 12, 2011

Dear Player

Dear Player,

I have been patient and I have always honored you for whatever you are.I have always known that I have always been played. But I just wanted you to realize that you know this fact. But you people came out to be really selfish , stubborn people. Well, whatever you are, I won't change myself. Though, I want to change myself very very badly. But in the end its the same me. So, whatever I try to change doesn't lead to any good as I may know. I don't want to make an agreement with yourself. You cannot change. I know. Nor with the played one/me. I just want you to realize this fact and not be a player again.

Played One.

Sunday, September 11, 2011


This is a small post. Its dedicated to some of my friends, which is not a great figure though : Three.

I felt the need to write about this. This means a lot to me as a person.

If I guessed correctly, you might not have read my previous post Isolated. I know, you didn't. Well one of my friend did read. The next moment, I get a call from him. I was spellbound for a moment when he said he read my post. Well thanks for reading and much more thanks for calling me. Thank you, Vijeth Bhat (Facebook). Thanks a lot dude.

Second is Rajani Patnaik (Facebook). He do call me sometimes. Well thanks for that.

And last but not the least, the only good friend I had till now GPrithviNathR (Facebook). Even when I still didnt know whether I was placed or not, he called. And no one else did. Thanks buddy. :)

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Life - Choice.

Life is a struggle.
We live it with our choices.
Battling with the decisions we made, and have to make.
We encounter ourselves in a constant tug-of-war; with the choices/decisions.
The alternative option seems so satisfying than the choice we make. 
But we cant alter it. We are bound with the choices.

We dream ourselves to be rich; even richer. 
But when we look at the present condition, we find it difficult to achieve.
Make Sky the limit, people say. How many have touched it; I may ask?
We are inspired, sometimes.
Sometimes, we are dejected
We can't stop at other's competence.

To reach a goal, It needs hard-work.
Motivation, Inspiration sometimes help.
Even failures does inspire some.
For the rest, its a back-bone for more.
Isn't the mind overloaded, frustrated?
Can we help it ? After all its our destiny, isn't it ?

Aren't we in a constant rambling, from our childhood.
Television has created a false notion for a child with the Happy endings.
Rarely does in real life we encounter a happy ending.
If at all we do, it's with ultimate struggle.
Struggle is the definition of life. 
Unless you struggle, life isn't as easy you want it to be.

Till when, do we have to keep battling?
Battling with the decisions, choices & life! 
Aren't we losing life in the struggle for existence?
Darwin's theory holds well for the evolution of mankind.
But it doesn't quite well define the exact meaning of struggle for existence.
I too know, without struggle nothing can be achieved. 

With all the peer pressure and the unbalancing human mind,
What is easy, to live or to die?
Living is a struggle for a life-time,
Death is a momentary struggle.
Isn't it cowardliness to end life, just because we can't decide. 

Just because, we failed in making the right choices.
Just because, we see life as a constant struggle, rather than a way to live life.
Just because, we are summoned/discouraged/disrespected.
Just because, we can't face challenges and find problems as a problem.

Life is never easy, I say. I know.
It isn't a struggle also. 
Its a way to live life. Struggle is just a part.
Life isn't fun without struggle/problems/difficulties.
Once we overcome them, we feel the unknown happiness.
The one thing which can never be bought.
We feel alive. Alive with the achievement.
So, all that you have to do is live life as it comes your way.

After all, we end at where we began, the CHOICE.
Whatever we choose, we have are bonded it with for the rest of life.

SO CHOOSE WISELY. Whatever you decide with your life, take it seriously. Life is serious . Don't ever think that it's easy. It is, when you have dad who gives you money at the expense of nothing. For the rest, which covers the whole world, your choices do make a difference. Think and act. You still got a life time to enjoy for the right choices you make. 

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Bangalore, Karnataka, India
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