Saturday, July 31, 2010

What's in a name??


What’s in a name??

The very first thing we use to introduce ourselves is by a “...“called name. One might not get deep into one’s name except than knowing the meaning (as I think). The most that a person can do is ask their parents about their name, what it means and how did it come to their mind. And so does the name become an integral part of everyone’s lives.
 Name!? It’s just a name. What’s in the name? We all consider it as a “...” to call others which specifically define their identity. An individual identity which no one can ever steal. Keeping aside the forging things, it surely defines one’s own specific identity.

Why am I writing about name? Some might even get a question. It was just a random thought which I had been having since ages, when I used to imagine myself with some other name. For me roughly more than a fifty percentage of what you are is depended on your name. I may not be right. But you can sure assess me after reading the complete post. So here goes my theory....

I looked up the meaning of a name in the dictionary which says ‘a name is a word or a set of words by which someone or something is known. So true. No doubt in this aspect, as a dictionary can never be wrong.

Why is that sometimes parents take a long time to name a child and some do it instantly which comes to their minds and which they thing sounds good or say matches with their names or something like that. I would rather say that everything that you are is because of your name. If not on a whole say a rough figure of 40 to 60. The very bit of you is implied directly in your name. Confused?? How?? I will make it clear.
You must be probably studying, or doing a job or say house-keeping. Consider any profession of your like/interest. And you must be named some ‘ABC DEF’ or fill it up with you name. Now fill the same name by something else say “ZYX WVU” or anything you may like depending upon your interest or your favourite name. Now roll back the time, to the past, to the very beginning, with your new name. What do you see? I am talking about creating an illusion in your mind and let imagination do its work by using your new name. Is it the same or did you find any difference? Starting with the nick name, the name by which you are called at home, at school, at college and at office. The sitting arrangement in the examinations would have been different, so you have not got a good one sitting in front/ behind you to help during the exam[:P]. The alphabetical order might have given you a big leap o the very first name or it may kick you back to the last. The batch of friends at school, the neighbours  and the friends at play might have been different.
Then comes your signature. The name in the bank account, the passport, driving license, etc. Everything. And you must be wondering something else about this moment rather some other thought then you would be actually doing. And moreover you won’t be reading this blog/post, because by then my name would have been different and I wouldn’t have got such a silly thought.

If you still think that there is nothing in a name and everything would have been the same that it is now please to comment to validate your opinions to break my theory [:P].


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Sunday, July 25, 2010

Gracious !!!



In the past few weeks, i have been been acting selfish. Actually it has been years, but I got it's attention recently. This post is to convey my regards for all the reader(s) of this blog to spend your time on a really hilariously outstanding [ :P , consider whatever you describe this blog].  The comment section has been hungry for a long time and need some food in the form of your valuable comments.

It is for the comments and the 'How do you feel:' check-box, for selecting what you actually felt. And for those who actually clicked on the check-boxes, I would surely suggest to write something in the comment section for a better and a more healthy post which I intent to take it to my interest and make considerate modifications for the same. Anything, either it is complimenting or criticizing or giving suggestions, and anything is acceptable.

Please spend a second more for writing your feelings about the post. :P. Let it flow through your heart....



Waiting for your valuable suggestions.........

Friday, July 23, 2010

Random Thought !!



"  Feel the fear,
Sense the need,
Awaken your inner spirit,
Know, what you want,
Just remember, rest is 'trash'. !!!  "


Tuesday, July 20, 2010

As the night falls,...





As the night falls, the hustle and bustle of the busy day slows down to a murmur. The closing of the shops, beginning of the duty of the watchmen and the night watchers, which is not quite possible to find around here. Then comes the closing of the offices, 24x7 hospitals, everything except for the night shift duty people.  I still wonder about the 24x7 posters around the booking counters, medical shops, etc which close just before in time. And the hospitals, though they would be running with no doctors at place. What’s the point in claiming themselves 24x7? What’s more? The news channels broadcast recorded videos until morning. Who would be watching news after the clock strikes twelve? Right!? Ask about the Friday blockbuster movies or for that instance any other movie. Hmm... Or the cricket matches or the recent Fifa World Cup. Whatever?

There would be a small light at the corner of the street. A building beside the street, in which I stay. Stepping into my room having some broken ideas and plans, eating my own cooked food, resting for a while on the bed. But this while turns the seconds into minutes, and minutes into hours. Suddenly a beep in my cell wakes me up (actually it had been beeping since a long time) from the broken dreams. I find some 30+ unread messages. Throwing my phone in agony and anger, anger to waste time unnecessarily. I sit with a book in my lap trying to read. I could only see some letters, words and alpha-numeric characters of some greek-latin language hovering on top my book. Damn! I close my book and sit in front of my laptop to do something worthwhile. But my bad! Neglecting the thought provoked by my inner sense, I deliberately waste my time browsing. Thinking of posting something new. But the thought is been capsized by that anger, agony, etc. So the thought of a new post dies. Throwing myself into the realms of the depth of the darkness, all that I could think is nothing. Blaming myself for wasting another day and making plans for the other day, the plans which will be broken and shattered like glass, fills my heart with a sense of guilt.

Trying to provoke the angels of the night and talking to the stars and sometimes drawing with the stars is all that I could do. But this often leads to the Daemons den. The red hot door, smashing of large ankles, I close my eyes hard to sleep and change whatever I was thinking. But in vain! Snoring in hoarse noise and before it could say anything, a beep in my cell to wake me up. I look at the time. The time is quarter past two. I find myself in a chair, folded tight. The lights, fans and the laptop had been running all this time. Even the internet, transferring data (I mean downloading) which I too never know consuming all my bandwidth. I curse myself and kick aside the books, laptop and fall upon my bed and get into a sleep. It was not any unusual night; it was like any other night for me. 


Monday, July 19, 2010

Spice it up!!!


After a long working day, it would a good time for a good nap or say a coffee. I go to college, come back, sometimes do my homework, and then sit down in front of my laptop fiddling with Facebook, farmville, mafia wars or whatever. This was the usual daily work till three days back. But then the time came to compel me to do things that I never did before. What do you think it would be? Any guess? It might be quite hard even to guess, because these things may be you too might be doing. I was talking about the things that we do three times a day. Still not getting it? Eating. Yeah eating. We do it without fail, whatever the reason may be. But sometimes have to starve do to some unusual work or something more like that.

Coming back to eating. I had to cook myself to keep myself from starving. Coming to cooking, I am no genius, nor do I know the basics of it. But I had something deep down my heart that it isn’t a big deal. Big Deal? It sure won’t be a big deal unless you yourself have a hand on it. Looking at something being cooked and saying that it is easy, won’t just suffice when one tries it all by yourself.

Cutting onions, boiling potatoes, tomatoes, etc, etc. Having guidance from my mom over the phone, I set myself to the enormous new venture of cooking. Oh damn! It’s real hard. But after a sulking long hours of standing and spinning the dish up, down, or whatever. By now the meal would be ready to be served for one person. Eating my own cooked food is quite a delighting feeling and I could enjoy every bit of it whatever the taste. Because I cooked it myself.

Hope I master the so called cooking, more for my health. More to come...

Thursday, July 15, 2010

...

Tick Tock Tick.

Time is ticking away. With the ending of an unusual day, there begins another one. Time is almost 0223 hours in the late night or say the earliest morning, when the sun is still sleeping. The work of the previous day was left pending due to a special friend called laziness.

Tomorrow, the day after we experience a sound dream. The dream which we have, to set a goal. The goal which we set, is for the future. The future.!? We tend to set goals for our future, for which we are not quite sure of. But optimism sometimes helps a lot. To a lot many, but not me. For me it's Pessimism. Every day before going to bed, my one wish would be to remove this thinking.

Feeling sleepy/..........Signing off..!!!!

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Sitting in front of my laptop....

The daily blush of the sweating day completes just in front of my laptop. Neglecting all my assignments, home works and even class tests, I sit in front of my laptop for hours. Being dumb to my mom's scoldings, I continue to create something unusual. Unusual, in the sense, something new. But it never does. The blunders quite simply signify that I have already wasted a hefty amount of time.

Time sped through for the dinner time, for which I waste no time. the next moment, you find me in front of my laptop. The time speeds for the midnight strike, tick tock. But there is not even an inch of movement by me. Sitting steadily in front of the slow internet connection, which sometimes is amazingly fast when unnecessary.

The clock strikes one. And I become restless keeping in mind the the coming day. I get to remember all the works is a jiffy. Oh my god! So many works. Why didn't I see this first? I could have completed it by now. Asking myself some questions myself about what all things that I did sitting in front of my laptop for so many long hours. A bit of frustration surrounds my mind. An utter dilemma of what to be done. But I sigh off with a 'lite' word in my mind. The rebellious word which I should never take. it keeps my work at stake. I think of the word the very next moment, I start to do the things. But sigh off.

Then comes my massive soft bed, laying off would be like sleeping amongst clouds. The next moment I am asleep. And the next moment, I am late for college.

As the day goes ...


As it ascends to dawn, the calmness of the long night as well as the buzzing night preys weakens and the daily charm enlightens up. After a long hard work of a day, rises another hard working day. It could have been a holiday, if it was a Saturday yesterday. Giving a thought about the past weekend and steadily looking forward for another one. Holidays, for which we long for the most.

The calmness of the roads is being charmed by the birds with their elegant noise. People, coming out the houses, stepping forward for a daily morning walk. The roads being clean by the late night’s drizzle. I woke up looking at my watch to find the time too fast and myself being so late. Working haphazardly with the daily work, I step outside disorganised, explaining myself to be late for college. Stepping through the old rugged terrains outside my house, I stride down the road to reach the vicinity to get a mode of transportation.

The school going children making quite an atmosphere and obliges me to my memories. The memories of my childhood, the days when going to school was almost going to hell. But such a thought appears as a foolish thought. Who would have thought about college during school days, to get an idea of hell (literally speaking)?  The atmosphere becomes much more intense as one reaches the college. With the so called high CC bikes making a raving and equally disturbing thud. Never-the-less the cars and the TATA NANO’s (Auto-Rickshaw) as well. As the classes begin in a small shudder with all sort of nonsense, the nonsense of DRESS CODE. Some of the classes being funnier with some extra spice like by giving live examples, some being writing classes to pen down the contents on the board and some being real serious like appearance. This is the few which gives a small enthusiasm to the students to learn. Some come prepared and some un-prepared; some dictate and some write. One making all sorts of baloney like striking of the attendance for a week or a ten pages imposition for a topic which was to be discussed, but asked some unfortunate students.

Then there lies a long journey back. Now the folks become larger in number. The larger the number, the larger is the clamour. Sitting in a sandwiched auto lies a journey back; back to my house, procuring the shufti of the vast sea; the Bay of Bengal. Along with it is a fresh zephyr and nevertheless the stingy smell of the dried fish. The day ends up with me sitting in front a Liquid Crystal Display screen and .....


Sunday, July 11, 2010

Life ...




A heart so lonely
Full in utter Confusion
Mindless queries
And unanswered questions

A chill in the spine
A silent tear brimming
At the edge of the eye
Walking lonely among many
Uncared by many
Loved by a few, very few

Giving some temperament
Life is a good teacher
Going past me fast and steady
Dragging me into utter confusion
Confusion!! Of future, the moment next

Time is an elusive thief
Flashing moments of happiness
By precision, are very few
Suddenly overpowered by sadness
Sadness!! Struggle.

Happy are the people beside me
With no time to waste,
Moving steadily in the journey,
Journey of life.


Sitting idle on a branch
Like an owl watching,
Branch being the path
Leading to many small big streams
Dilemma. Illusion. Confusion.
Surround the ambiance
Around me I feel
An air of turgidity.

Life is a mystery nurtured thoughts
Which keep me at stake.
The sense inner
Inner sense abides with me
Constantly, sometimes showing path
Obstacles and the dangers.

Abusing the time
Insulting the so called human caliber
Even enthusiasm.
Making me much more weak and lonely
Life goes on.

Looking back gives much sorrow
Optimism is failing
Pessimism is winning
The battle for life
For the ultimate victory
The victory being loss

Falling like an exhausted dry leaf
Ruffled by the winds
Thrown by the air
Washed by the water
Moving to a location, unknown.

The shore at the sea
Touching my feet
Every time it touches  
Gives me a sense of failure
Overpowered by the sea at shore
Dragging me to the bottom
Bottom of the sea
Sailing in the under-sea
Unprotected, forgotten and Alone
Trepidation has taken a warm place in my heart.

Waiting for some help
Help to bring me to shore
Help to teach me the life
Help to keep me at bay from failures
Help to teach me the odds of life
Help to make success a friend.


-  AJAY KONTHAM

Rise...


I rose
I tumbled
I rose again
But I fell again
Was the floor slippery
Or am I not conscious
Of what I am doing

Screaming at my inability
Shouting at my negligence
Rises some more questions
But I tumbled again

Feeling of lonesome
Surrounds the atmosphere around me
Around me I see people rising
Rising to reach the stars

Steady is their path
Not trodden, clean and straight
Statistics is what if we draw
Linearity is the progress

Working, working hard is what they know
No matter how hard it would be
Unconscious about failure
Rise, rise like a dawn
Each morning, each day

Then it’s me
Watching
Those anxious moments
Moments of success
Which is quite not well versed with me

There it’s me again
Standing in the path
Standing like a rock
Not affected by anything
Looking at the success thrivers

Questions they ask
Am I useless
Am I of no use
Am I retarded
Am I shameless
Don’t I have a goal
Don’t I have an aim
Don’t I have any ambition

Questions, questions, questions
Questions which make me think
Think about all that they say
Think! Think! Think!

Think is all that
I can do
Am being a rock
Acting selfishly like a rock
Without a trail of trying
Trying to be normal like the peer group

I rose
I tumbled
I rose again
But I fell again.


- AJAY KONTHAM



Saturday, July 10, 2010

Change.!!!

Change.



Change is inevitable. Change is hard.  Starting from my morning brush to the long sleeping hours at night. It’s the same routine. Routine. Change. What is needed is change. Change, in a way that I would be doing my daily routine in somewhat different manner. Different? How can I make some work different? The headline is that a work can be done in some different ways. Well then what are the ways?

What is steady? Is it climate? Is it earth? Is it sun? Is it me? Is it you? What on earth is steady?

Well steadiness is quite a difficult thing to achieve. So I tried to venture differently. Starting with my blog. Changed almost everything, the background, the text, etc. Well, that was not actually a big change. There was something with my group, the adolescent junta. Don’t know exactly what happened, all started to blog. This is good news. What I was thinking was that what happened to these people till this time. Well, I am not bothered about the reasons.

I would like to welcome YVS PRANEETH to the bloggers world. His blog address is www.itzmaview.blogspot.com.
And Sai Dinesh also. But the thing is that he hasn’t posted anything. Anyways, hello guys. By the way his blog address is www.k-saidinesh.blogspot.com.

The first comment after reading the former’s blog was posted to my mobile phone by a friend of mine. It said “It’s good I think...better than ur first blog.” No doubt. This dude got some hidden talents which he doesn’t want the outside world to know. His inner spirit has just risen & he will make a mark in the near future. And there was nothing that I had written in my first blog. Well, the bottom line is that I know what actually I am upto.

And today for a change I changed the theatre also for watching a movie. I went to ‘Varun Beach’. First thing is that they did not switch on the A.C.; second thing is that the theatre was on some 4th floor while the ticket counter was in the ground.

Walking through the sands on the beach, I stretched for long to reach my home. The cool fresh air was hitting me to visit the beach, get myself into the water and get a splash of the salty water. The birds moved in a manner echoing their song, the long siren of the ships, the large nets if the fisherman capturing a jackpot, the road-side traffic, the never empty ice-cream shops. The people running, splashing water on each other; all this made up the required atmosphere at the beach. But I was n a hurry to reach home.

Change was what I was talking about. Still not sure what to change. Should I change my behaviour? Should I change my daily routine? Should I change myself for the sake of others? Should I change my writing techniques? Should I change the way I eat, drink, and walk? What should I change to change myself? Brushing myself with all these questions rises a man un-trodden, so stubborn to accept any change. That man is ‘I’. 

Change is hard. Change means sacrificing. A small change can bring up on a big change. Try changing.

Feel the feeling !!!




How does it feel when you win?
How does it feel when you lose all the hard earned money?
How does it feel when you get a job in the first go?
How does it feel you lose in the final game?
How does it feel when one doesn’t reach the destinated goal?
How does it feel like losing someone you love the most?
How does it feel when you lose a job for which you area blamed unnecessarily?
How does it feel when you lose something that you like the most?
How does it feel when you are blamed for a mistake that you didn’t do and imposed a punishment?
How does it feel like when something that you built is smashed to floor?
How does it feel when your own best idea is being stolen by your friend and got it patented?
How does it feel when you fail in exams?
How does it feel when you don’t get what you want?
How does it feel like just before your big presentation (staging)?
How does it feel like when you don’t get a job even after a number of trials?
How does it feel when you wait for someone close to your heart, but left stranded in the sun, rain, etc?
How does it feel when a baby is born?
How does it feel when you hear the baby speak for the first time?
How does it feel when you complete your graduation?
How does it feel when you take your first salary?
How does it feel when your son/daughter suddenly says that they are in love and want to marry each other?
How does it feel......


Feeling is one such thing which no one else could ever possibly feel. It flows from the heart. It comes from the heart. What a magic it is.?! No one knows to what extent it can lead to. Sure there are some types in feeling. Happiness as they say makes you and others happy; Sadness makes you and the related feel sad. Sorrow is personal. Like that are the other types of feeling like depression, humility, etc. Rather I suppose it would be better not to make a much not needed description.

"To feel is to love,
To be felt is that you are being loved".

Making such an impression is quite a difficult task. Or say at least for me. Feel at almost what you see. Because the beauty of anything can be only be justified once you feel it & then you must understand also. Feeling other’s feelings is also an art to be mastered and nurtured. This would be quite a good technique to understand what others think rather than following your own lead. As such there is no such rule, but it is always better to give preference (or at least a part) to others and let the thing called ‘adjust(ing)’ work the way in which it has to be.




Friday, July 9, 2010

[...]


It's time. One essential thing in our lives which never stops, how hard you try to stop it. Brimming through all these things, there is (are) some crucial points in our lives which ultimately decide what we are and to what extent we are up to. But rather more ice-chilling thing is that we are almost grown-up and we have to take some responsibilities. These are some real responsibilities. From an average school going kid to the end of the teen, there is quite a big disparity. Once we complete the teens, the next thing is ‘Responsibility’. Either it is Campus Interviews or preparation for the entrance exams like GRE, CAT, etc. To be more precise they call it higher education.

 There are a lot of people aspiring to do higher studies. So for that the first essential thing is preparation. And it has to begin now. I remember the days in my higher school or intermediate, when people used to compete among themselves for a higher score in the competitive exams. They thrive endlessly to reach their optimum goal. And the look-a-like atmosphere is presented now-a-days also. Students going for the Institutions paying a hefty amount. And never-the-less not even sparing the lunch break. What more? Even listening to the dictionary words through cell. The bottom line is that there is a lot of competition. I agree. And I also agree with the input these people are giving for their future.

Then comes the question about me. What am I doing? What is that I am learning and for what? What...? Why...? How...? There goes a long train of questions. Unfortunately I too don’t have the answers. There is no particular part of my brain that is clear about this thing. What’s wrong..?

 Campus Interviews decide the calibre of a student in academics. It follows a simple logic. The Best In goes First out. To articulate it in known words FIFO: First In First Out.


The competition is very tough. There is a specific procedure, a particular pattern which needs to be followed for achieving the goal. If you are asking about the same, I strictly don’t know but am sure will tell when once I get hold of this. I am sure while I am writing a single blog there would be almost 1, 00,000+ people learning a new thing. So, on an average there are people who know 70,000+ things which I don’t know. And nearly 50k-60,000 people actually remember for a life time. So this statistics is for a day or so. Imagine what a year can do. This is a pattern. Procedure is something that the 50-60k follow.


But specifically there is no such pattern as such. They are all rough figures which are quite capable of declaring one to be a dumb. So you can quite well imagine the competition. The ultimate race, for the future.


Then comes the job, a ‘Responsibility’. A responsibility which is to be levied upon thyself. There must be an air of satisfaction, with a cool breeze of fulfilment, a good essence of achievement and a mystique scent of happiness. There should never e a moment to look back again. From then, the road is un-carved. We are the blenders, the builders and the shapers of the future.

About Me

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Bangalore, Karnataka, India
| Writer | Photographer | Split Personality Disorder | Foodie | Music | Art | God-Fearing Atheist | Movies | Golf | Soccer | Dance | Mentally Stable Psychopath |